Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Starship Legator II

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

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TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
STANDARD FEATURES
ADVANCED SYSTEMS
Strengths:
  • Offensively Strong: The Legator II, while not as strong as it's predecessor due to downsizing of the weapon emplacements in order to dedicate power to other systems, is still quite a powerful dreadnought on it's own. Legator II is equipped with state-of-the-art, powerful weapons and plentiful missile tubs that make the ship a seriously fearsome starship capable of fighting fleets on it's own.
  • Impenetrable: The defensive systems implemented on Legator II; including the Neutronium-Impervium hull, multicore shielding system, and multiple defensive emplacements; ensure that Legator II is capable of withstanding an incredible amount of damage.
  • A.I. Enhanced: A major part of the reinvention process of the Legator, an artificial intelligence system, known as AMMI, was seamlessly implemented into the ship's systems. AMMI enhances the capabilities of Legator II threefold, ensuring seamless communications, enhanced targeting, and a secured interior.
Weaknesses:
  • Broadsides: The redesign to the Legator has made it a devastating dreadnought from the front and rear. This, however, crippled it's broadside capabilities immensely. Should a foe attack from the sides of Legator II, they would be at an advantage.
  • Size: The sheer size of the Legator II make it a rather easy target to hit by enemy ships. Not only that, but it's size also makes it even more difficult to enter hyperspace when near planetary objects.
  • Maneuverability: Legator II is made to be a forward attacking vessel. Most of it's weapons are aimed toward the front and rear, thus making attacking at the sides is incredibly limited.
DESCRIPTION

The Legator II-class Dreadnaught is a massive starship in the Imperial Armada under the command of Lord Admiral Zahori Denko. It is a direct upgrade from it's predecessor, the Legator. An offensive warship, much like it's previous iteration, equipped with an impressive suite of offensive weaponry and defensive emplacements.

The structure of the Legator II is impressive in of itself. Made to be a front-firing threat, the Legator II is wide instead of long, allowing much of the weaponry to fire on targets unhindered. A combination of heavy long range weaponry and solid standard weaponry along with a plethora of missile launchers make the Legator II a powerhouse on the battlefield. Able to fire from afar, it is capable of unleashing destructive weapons on targets at great distances, likely before the enemy can get a chance to retaliate. While it's powerful at long range, Legator II is also a strong fight in standard starship combat range. One weakness of the Legator II, however, is it's broadsides. Due to the exotic structure of Legator II, it's broadsides are vulnerable due to most of the starships weapons being locked to the front and rear.

The defensive enhancements on Legator II are vastly more impressive than it's predecessor. The entirety of the hull is composed of impervium, a metal known to be nigh impenetrable in the toughest conditions. On top of this, incredibly powerful shielding systems have been implemented into the Legator II.In heated engagements, the shields are capable of holding for an unbelievable amount of time and, were they to go down, the hull would almost certainly hold long enough for the Legator II to decimate it's enemies. Besides the conventional defenses such as armor and shields, Legator II comes with several other forms of defense such as ECM, Anti-Ion and Anti-Missile emplacements, and other forms of defense. In order to streamline the use of all these systems, the Imperial Armada developed an artificial intelliengce specifically for Legator II. The Artificial Multicore Methodical Intelligence, or AMMI, operates throughout the ship, controlling the systems while also defending them from enemy intervention. In addition to this, AMMI learns as it operates, logging combat data and utilizing it to better itself in the future.
 
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Darth Athora Darth Athora

Hello, I am Vis, your friendly neighborhood Factory Judge, and I will be reviewing this submission. If you have questions during the course of this review, please ask away and I will do my darnedest to get you answers or help you as best I can.

To begin, very nice job in the presentation and formatting here, and I very much appreciate your following the new 5.1 template, thank you. It appears you have built quite the starship! Wow, I am guessing this is purely for scientific and peaceful commercial uses, right? ;) Your starship is very nicely made, and kudos to you! I don’t think that we’re going to have much in the way of problems getting it approved.

For SSDs – since these are so complex usually – I find the best thing to do is just to move through the review section by section, so we can be as thorough but efficient as possible. I really hope that works for you also. So let’s quit mucking about and get to it, alright?

OOC INFORMATION REVIEW:

Intent:
This is okay, although something a bit more detailed might be better. Something like, “To update the previous submission to comply with revised guidelines and technological evolution in Chaos.” might be better, as it more fully describes what it is you’re doing here. This is honestly me being nit-picky, so you’re free to leave this as is if you like, but I always feel that a nice, succinct but complete description of what and why is good, as it tells reviewers and readers alike exactly your motivation behind your creation.

Image Source: This is great.

Permission: Well, not to give you @#$! But, while Jae’s permission is good, I am afraid I am going to need more than just this. You list several companies as manufacturer, and so I will need something from each of the following:

Sith-Imperial Corps of Engineers

Koensayr Manufacturing
– This is your own, so we’re good here.

Primo Victorian Shipwright – You have Jae’s permission, so you’re good here too.

Jaeger Solutions

Aurora Industries

Defiance Consolidated Multipurpose Manufacturing

Vanir Technologies
– This one might be a bit tricky, but if you link to this post you should be in the clear: “https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/vanir-technologies.64269/post-1123185 #230”; Alric gives general permission, setting everything to open-market in this post before he left Chaos.

Aegis Systems

Canon Link:
Please hyperlink the Wookieepedia entry for “Super-Star Destroyer” here. Here’s the link: “https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Super_Star_Destroyer/Legends

Restricted Missions: These all look great and should fulfill the requirements needed.

Primary Sources: You really only need the previous Legator submission here. However, the hyperlink you have for this is broken, so I took the liberty of finding it and here it is, please fix this. Link: “https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/legator-class-star-dreadnought.114490/

That does it for the OOC Information section, so let’s move on…

PRODUCTION INFORMATION REVIEW:

Manufacturer:
Bad news, virtually every link in this section is fried. Don’t blame me! It was the update! Good news, I have tracked down all of the ones you need and here they are:

Sith-Imperial Corps of Engineers: I actually couldn’t find a link for this, even in the archives.

Koensayr Manufacturing: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/koensayr-manufacturing.97248/

Primo Victorian: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/primo-victorian-shipwright.129935/

Jaeger Solutions: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/jaeger-solutions.99377/

Aurora Industries: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/aurora-industries.19968/

Defiance Consolidated Multipurpose Manufacturing: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/defiance-consolidated-multipurpose-manufacturing.103235/

Vanir Technologies: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/vanir-technologies.50011/

Aegis Systems: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/aegis-systems.90435/

Affiliation: Another broken link for TSE, but here is the new one: “https://www.starwarsrp.net/group/the-sith-empire.6/info” ; Here’s the link for Adm. Denko: “https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/zahori-denko.96866/” Please hyperlink both of these here.

Model: This is great.

Production: This is perfect.

Material: Again, perfect.

That completes the Production Information section.

Okay, I will let you fix these (again, permissions and hyperlinks are about the only glaring issues, otherwise you’re golden) and just please tag me when you’re done with that and we will move on to the technical stuff. From what I can see so far, that is all pretty straightforward and good to go, but we’ll get into it once you have addressed the issues above. Thanks a lot, and please know that I understand it’s a pain, but SSDs get special attention here and we just want to make sure everything is solid. I really appreciate your patience in this, thank you.
 
Darth Athora Darth Athora

Thank you. Moving on to TECHNICAL INFORMATION REVIEW:

Classification:
Fine.

Length: Fine.

Width: Fine.

Height: Fine.

Armament: Rating is Fine. All weapons listed appear to be Primo Victorian, so you’re good. However, just a note, the hyperlink for “Defiant Advanced Proton Torpedo” was broken, please fix this. Here is the new link: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/defiant-type-advanced-proton-torpedo.114471/

Defenses: Rating is Fine. All submissions are Primo Victorian, Canon, or “Open-Market”.

Hangar Space: Rating is Fine.

Hangar Allocations: All is good here.

Maneuverability: Good.

Speed Rating: Good.

Hyperdrive Class: Good.

So, barring that one hyperlink issue, this section was golden. Nicely done. Also, your ship balances perfectly by my reckoning.

STANDARD FEATURES REVIEW:

The following hyperlinks need to be repaired, please do so (I have provided working links):

Cronau Radiation Amplifier: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/cronau-radiation-amplifier.93683/

Tachyon Pulse Emitter: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/tachyon-pulse-emitter.93681/

SI-Hunter Tracking/Targeting Device: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/si-hunter-tracking-targeting-suite.110824/

Make these fixes, and this section is golden also.

ADVANCED FEATURES REVIEW:

All systems here appear to be Canon, Open-market, or approved/permitted on account for your faction/permissions.

STRENGTHS: All strengths appear solid. For what it’s worth, I like the A.I. System.

WEAKNESSES: All weakness appear sufficient.

DESCRIPTION: Okay, this section is never any fun and most writers I know hate making them. But you do a really nice narrative here. One thing to remember, this is Chaos, and in Chaos, the writer calls his/her/their own damage. Statements which suggest that damage is mandatory in descriptions get awfully close to the line on that, and you have a couple which you might consider rewording to avoid this.

You said:
" It fires from afar, unleashing it's destructive weapons on targets before they can get a chance to retaliate. "
You might try:
"Able to fire from afar, it is capable of unleashing destructive weapons on targets at great distances, likely before the enemy can get a chance to retaliate."

You said:
" In heated engagements, the shields are capable of holding for an unbelievable amount of time and, were they to go down, the hull would hold long enough for the Legator II to decimate it's enemies. "
You might try:
" In heated engagements, the shields are capable of holding for an unbelievable amount of time and, were they to go down, the hull would almost certainly hold long enough for the Legator II to decimate it's enemies. "

I know they're only slight differences but they can avoid any question of absolutist. It's really just a word or two to 'fuzz' your description up just a hair to move you away from the line.

Otherwise, you're golden! Really nice job putting this together! Please tag me once you make the changes I have mentioned and I will approve this submission. Now, it is fair to warn you that since this is an SSD, it will require a secondary approval from someone above my pay grade. I hope that my suggestions and corrections to things like hyperlink issues, etc. will help you to breeze through this next step. It's a great ship and I look forward to seeing it in action on the board. Take a bow, you have done really well with making it. Thanks again for being so quick to respond and cooperative too.
 
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