Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved NPC Elite Raptor SuperCommandos | Final Dawn

Status
Not open for further replies.


image-removebg-preview_12.png

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Unit Name: Elite Raptor SuperCommandos
  • Affiliation: Final Dawn | Marlon Sularen Marlon Sularen
  • Classification: Elite Spec Ops Unit
  • Description: The Elite Raptor SuperCommandos are an Unit of Elite Soldiers, established by High Regent Marlon Sularen during the early days of the Final Dawn shortly after the integration of the Politorate as the Final Dawn's Intelligence Agency and the subsequent expansion of the Hand of Judgement. It is solely comprised of Loyal Veteran Soldiers who are given Cybernetic Enhancements which combined with their Skills and Equipment make them one of the most deadliest units of the Final Dawn to encounter on the Battlefield, serving as the enforcers of the High Regent's will. They don armor reminiscent of the Raptors of Warlord Zsinj, with the very purpose of replicating the same amount of fear the original Raptors brought to their enemies.
COMBAT INFORMATION
Strengths:
  • Silent but Deadly | Highly Specialized in Operations requiring Stealth and Precision
  • Ruthless and Relentless | Are willing to fight to the end with no regards for any odds and show no mercy towards their Enemies
  • Cybernetically Enhanced | Greatly improves their Combat Effectiveness and gives them an advantage over Enemies who lack any Cybernetic Enhancement
Weaknesses:
  • EMP Vulnerability | Disrupts Cybernetic Enhancements and Weakens them
  • Unsuited for Conventional Warfare | Has lower chances at success when facing numerically superior forces in Open Terrain
  • Hard to Replace | Requires capable candidates (Most preferably experienced Veteran Soldiers) and alot of Expensive Surgery for Cybernetic Enhancements to create a new Raptor SuperCommando
HISTORICAL INFORMATION

When the Politorate was reformed as the Final Dawn's Official Intelligence Agency , both the then-Grand Overseer Marlon Sularen Marlon Sularen and Director-Admiral Dorian Sevanar Dorian Sevanar sought to find a way to ensure that the mistakes of the previous iteration of the Politorate (Back when it was an Independent Private Intelligence Agency Loyal to Sularen), would not be repeated within this new version of the Politorate. As such both men worked to create an improved variant of the "Prototype Super-Soldiers" that made up Raptor Squad ,an Elite Spec Ops Unit first deployed in 864 ABY. Through renewed contracts with Nakaioma along with Indoctrinated Fanatic Soldiers at their disposal , the two men moved forth to begin development of the perfect Supersoldier conducting a series of tests through the use of Test Subjects taken from Camp Locphet.

After a few months , both Sularen and Sevenar soon managed to produce a Super Soldier that met their expectations and after a series of Final Tests and Trials , they began carefully selecting Loyal Veteran Soldiers of the Final Dawn to become part of the Raptor SuperCommando Project combining their years of combat experience with cybernetic enhancements and reliable state-of-the-art equipment to create an undeniably effective fighting force capable of surpassing any enemy soldiers they encounter on the battlefield through sheer Willpower, Skill and Determination placing them among the one of the best units the Final Dawn has to offer, and the worst units one can hope to encounter on battlefield, if they value their survival.


  • 12/10/2021
    • OOC Information [Completely Reworked]
    • General Information [Completely Reworked]
    • Combat Information [Completely Reworked]
    • Strengths & Weaknesses [Completely Reworked]
    • Historical Information [Completely Reworked]
  • 05/17/2023
    • New Div Code
    • New Font Added
    • Updated Affiliation
    • Reworked Description and Historical Information
    • New Equipment Added

 
Last edited:
Submission Name: 439th "Crimson" Legion | BSDF
Link to Submission:
Here
Reason for Moving to Pre-Codex: To update for Future Use

Submission Name: Beshqek Security Force [BSF] | C.A.B
Link to Submission:
Here
Reason for Moving to Pre-Codex: To update for Future Use

Submission Name: Beshqek Constitutional Guard | CAB
Link to Submission:
Here
Reason for Moving to Pre-Codex: To update for Future Use

Submission Name: Skull Squadron | BSDF
Link to Submission:
Here
Reason for Moving to Pre-Codex: To update for Future Use
Please include a list of changes and don't forget to tag Codex Staff when you're ready, or, you can use the "Ready for Judgement" Pre-Fix.
 
Marlon Sularen Marlon Sularen

Cool unit! Looks good for the most part. The only things that I need are links to Nakaioma and Fort Maximus. Once those are taken care of, I can get this approved.

EDIT: Apologies, just noticed two more issues here. First of all, the TIE/ST Stealth Transport is listed as semi-unique, and the specs for this unit don't allow the use of semi-unique items. Furthermore, the doubling up on stealth between the ship and the personal device is a problem. The good news is, eliminating the stealth transport from the sub solves both of these issues.
 
Last edited:
Marlon Sularen Marlon Sularen

Cool unit! Looks good for the most part. The only things that I need are links to Nakaioma and Fort Maximus. Once those are taken care of, I can get this approved.

EDIT: Apologies, just noticed two more issues here. First of all, the TIE/ST Stealth Transport is listed as semi-unique, and the specs for this unit don't allow the use of semi-unique items. Furthermore, the doubling up on stealth between the ship and the personal device is a problem. The good news is, eliminating the stealth transport from the sub solves both of these issues.

Done
 
Marlon Sularen Marlon Sularen | Darth Machinus Darth Machinus

This submission wasn't quite ready to go yet.


Stealth Tech is considered Restricted by the Factory and may only and may only be used in submissions with a Semi-Unique rating.

NPC Codex Unit Table:

m9iV36K.png


This Submission:

  • Unit Size: Small
  • Unit Availability: Rare
  • Unit Experience: Elite

So. Since the unit is "Small" and "Rare" it can use "Limited" items and below. Not higher. It cannot use anything Semi-Unique no matter how many of these items are listed in the submission. You were always going to have to remove the stealth transport and the personal cloaking device unless you tweak the unit availability to match the chart above. It's not a matter of either-or.

From this point you have two options:​
1.) Remove the Personal Cloaking Device​
2.) Change the Unit Availability to "Unique" & Leave the Unit Size "Small" and this will allow you to use Semi-Unique items. (Note: This change would mean per the NPC Template that there should be only ONE of these units available to you.)​


I do realize that misunderstandings can happen when it comes to production values and restricted materials, however, personal cloaking devices, stealth, and anti-stealth technology has been on the Restricted Materials list for longer than I've been on this website. This is not your first rodeo Marlon Sularen Marlon Sularen and you've been told about this before. You've done it correctly, before (here too), so I'm well aware that you're capable and I'm well aware that you KNOW the Factory and Codex Rules.

I'm going to lean on your better angels today and hope that this was simply human error rather than a round-about-way of misleading a Judge, however, you need to understand that within the Factory and the Codex you are on the thinnest of ice. This is your last chance to prove that you can use the Codex and the Factory responsibly and within the rulesets, we have provided.

If we are in any way unclear you may PM me for further detail.

See that the submission is updated accordingly and tag me when you're ready for me to look again.
 
Marlon Sularen Marlon Sularen | Darth Machinus Darth Machinus

This submission wasn't quite ready to go yet.



Stealth Tech is considered Restricted by the Factory and may only and may only be used in submissions with a Semi-Unique rating.

NPC Codex Unit Table:

m9iV36K.png


This Submission:



So. Since the unit is "Small" and "Rare" it can use "Limited" items and below. Not higher. It cannot use anything Semi-Unique no matter how many of these items are listed in the submission. You were always going to have to remove the stealth transport and the personal cloaking device unless you tweak the unit availability to match the chart above. It's not a matter of either-or.

From this point you have two options:​
1.) Remove the Personal Cloaking Device​
2.) Change the Unit Availability to "Unique" & Leave the Unit Size "Small" and this will allow you to use Semi-Unique items. (Note: This change would mean per the NPC Template that there should be only ONE of these units available to you.)​


I do realize that misunderstandings can happen when it comes to production values and restricted materials, however, personal cloaking devices, stealth, and anti-stealth technology has been on the Restricted Materials list for longer than I've been on this website. This is not your first rodeo Marlon Sularen Marlon Sularen and you've been told about this before. You've done it correctly, before (here too), so I'm well aware that you're capable and I'm well aware that you KNOW the Factory and Codex Rules.

I'm going to lean on your better angels today and hope that this was simply human error rather than a round-about-way of misleading a Judge, however, you need to understand that within the Factory and the Codex you are on the thinnest of ice. This is your last chance to prove that you can use the Codex and the Factory responsibly and within the rulesets, we have provided.

If we are in any way unclear you may PM me for further detail.

See that the submission is updated accordingly and tag me when you're ready for me to look again.

Yeah sorry about that. As per this Quote from the Previous Judge below , i thought i had to remove just the Stealth Transport rather then both the Stealth Transport and the Cloaking Device.

EDIT: Apologies, just noticed two more issues here. First of all, the TIE/ST Stealth Transport is listed as semi-unique, and the specs for this unit don't allow the use of semi-unique items. Furthermore, the doubling up on stealth between the ship and the personal device is a problem. The good news is, eliminating the stealth transport from the sub solves both of these issues.

In addition i removed the Personal Cloaking Devices from Equipment as you suggested. Would this be alright?
 
Marlon Sularen Marlon Sularen

I realize that.

However, I linked another submission where an RPJ also told you how it works. Then two more in which you used "Personal Cloaks" correctly so I'm entirely unsure where the disconnect is or why these items were listed with these unit availabilities in the first place.

Regardless: No more. This is you and I having a final talk about it with me "assuming/hoping" that it was a misunderstanding and or a mistake.

I'll accept this with the Personal Cloaks removed but I do not want to see them or Stealth Tech used inappropriately in the future. If you're uncertain whether it can or cannot be used you can always ask in Codex Discussion both here and on Discord. You have life lines - Use them wisely.

[Approved]
 
Submission Name : Elite Rapto SuperCommandos
Link to Submission : Here
Reason for Moving to Codex Modification : To bring the submission up to date.

Submission Name : Neo-Imperial Brutetroopers
Link to Submission : Here
Reason for Moving to Codex Modification : To bring the submission up to date.

Submission Name : Final Dawn Retribution Corps
Link to Submission : Here
Reason for Moving to Codex Modification : To bring the submission up to date.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom