Articles by Louise

[OOC: Apologies for the delay, took Halloween off because of excessive alcohol consumption and then my laptop decided to take time off, permanently. We will always remember you, HP Laptop, you were a good companion for four years, even if your keyboard was Australian.] The Safari Zone Another...

[background=[/size] [background=[/size] [background=Good day, menfolk and womenfolk! Let me introduc-[/size] [background=NO, WAIT, YOU DID ONE OF THESE BEFORE! I GOT INVESTED AND YOU STOPPED! NOT AGAIN![/font] [background=Well, hi, I’m Louise, have you met me before? I'm the harbinger of...

I awaken on a strange plain of existence. There is nothing as far as the eye can see except from a handsome silver fox standing on a spotlight. Am I dreaming? Is this some sexy romantic fantasy in which this man seduces me? Because I don’t think this is the right forum for me to be airing this...

Route 1 I’m not five steps into the long grass and I get my first wild encounter! It’s a Pidgey, and it stares at me with judgemental bird eyes. Not that I’m too bothered, because I’m about to maul this little birdy. Ain’t nobody gon’ mess with Louise and Budley. We’re tight, yo...

Route 2 Desperate to leave the so-called city, I stormed north, and onto the next Route, wondering what this backwards Pokéworld will offer me. Next member of the team? Apparently it’s a Rattata, he has promising look about him. A sharp gleam to his fangs that I haven’t seen before in...

Route 3 Before me stands a sea of Pokémon trainers. Good. Brock wasn’t enough of a challenge, he barely whet my appetite for battle. Lass Janice is first up on the gauntlet. She has a couple of Pidgeys that blast my Pokémon’s eyes with sand, trying to blind them first before pecking their...

Cerulean City I arrive at my latest destination. Not quite a city but this could definitely be called a village. First stop is the Pokémon Centre to get healed up and see what freaks lurk here. Everybody is chatting about some guy called BILL, as if he was a kind of God, but I’m the only...

Route 5 New route, new Pokémon. First patch of grass I hit up gives me a Pidgey. Weak. Second up is a Bellsprout. Also weak. I’ve already got two of those guys and they’re some boss-ass motherfudgers. Just as I think that there’s nothing for me on this route, I come across a Meowth. His...

S.S. Anne This place is absolutely teeming with trainers! Are ya’ll ready for a fight montage!? There’s a sexy Gentleman in the first room I go into, who cordially challenges me to a duel AND he has a Growlithe. His name is Thomas and he’s dreamy. I still don’t know why people don’t...

Route 11 There’s a cave here, Diglett’s Cave apparently, but I’ll come back to that in a bit because I see long grass and trainers before me. Time for a new member of the team? Time to kick some asses and take some names? Found 1x Awakening! Youngster Eddie is my first opponent. I’m not...

I see the light. I also see a Picnicker, I'M GOING BACK IN. Route 10 Picnicker Carol lurks outside the cave, waiting to pick off people that she expects to be tired after hiking through the tunnel. Won 420 (eyyy) Pokémon Dollars! Then it’s Hiker Clark’s turn. Do they think they’re picking...

Many moons ago, one inappropriately aged girl got her first Pokémon and set out to conquer the Elite Four. Her adventure was progressing nicely but all of a sudden it stopped. We thought she was dead... ...until now. It's been 84 years... OF GOSH DARNED GRINDING! Ganglor grew from Level...

Celadon City (Still) I pop into a restaurant, perhaps thinking to have a celebratory meal but the staff are on break when I come in. Christ. That’s what you get when you run a restaurant with two people. Some dude tells me that there’s a secret basement in the Game Corner. Suddenly...

Lavender Town I scoot SUSAN back into the PC and take out Shazam, after all, Normal Types are no use against Ghost. Best get my type coverage on point, huh. Pokémon Tower I could kill him right now, it's a convenient place to do it. I go upstairs and who do I see standing before me? Chaz, but...

Route 13 It’s a return of the Picnicker! Alma is her name and losing is her game! Won 560 Pokémon Dollars! He doesn't appear very competent. A new foe! He comes in the shape of Bird Keeper Sebastian, and he seems to be really struggling with his hobby. I beat him, pretty easily. Burt just...