Route 11
There’s a cave here, Diglett’s Cave apparently, but I’ll come back to that in a bit because I see long grass and trainers before me. Time for a new member of the team? Time to kick some asses and take some names?
Found 1x Awakening!
Youngster Eddie is my first opponent. I’m not scared, he looks like a scrub and tells me not to cheat before the fight! How dare he even accuse me! Even when I defeat him and his Ekans he complains and says that ‘it’s not right’! Ugh!
Won 336 Pokémon Dollars!
Now it’s time to check the wild Pokémon in this area. First one to attack is a Spearow. She looks both sassy and angry, both qualities I like in a Pokémon. I want her on the squad. I MEAN, BUDLEY DIDN’T, HE HIT THAT BIRD WITH A CRITICAL HIT BUT SHE SURVIVED. She’s a trooper. I like her even more!
Look at that face, she's filled with DETERMINATION.

I caught a Spearow!
It takes a few moments to decide her nickname, but Sasha seems the right choice. It’s just a name that has moxy, it’s got spirit. Sasha bows to nobody. Sasha's fierce.

Docile on the outside, maybe.

Is there anybody even reading that subscribes to this part?

I mean, for realsies?

Now it’s time to train her up. Get her caught up with the squad.
Sasha grew to Level 16!
Sasha grew to Level 17!
Sasha grew to Level 18!
FLYING BY THE SEAT OF OUR PANTS, MAN!

Razz found 1x Rawst Berry!
Sasha grew to Level 19!
Sasha learned Pursuit!
Sasha grew to Level 20!
Hard work pays off, and Sasha, so fresh into the crew begins to evolve. She’s no longer cute but feisty, and she has become a fully ferocious bird. I mean look at that beak, it could drill a hole in your heart.
This inner-glow is just too much.

WHO RUNS THE WORLD?

Sasha evolved into Fearow!
Unfortunately there’s only room for one flying-type Pokémon in this squad and while Sasha pays early dividends, I think for the long game Caw McGraw has gotta be the guy for me. But every Pokémon is invaluable in the team, even if they’re on the bench.
There’s a Scientist milling around in Vermilion City as I head to the Pokémon Centre to swap out Sasha for Caw McGraw. Tells me to go to Route 2 because he’s got a package for me. Ugh. Why didn’t you just TAKE the package, dude!
Still, I decide to keep on chugging on Route 11 instead.
Gamer Hugo wants to battle, and I’m down. Would it be a surprise to tell you that I won? No, it wouldn’t be, would it?
Won 1296 Pokémon Dollars!
Youngster Dillon comes next. He has a Zubat and I think of Sassafras. My poor baby.
Won 304 Pokémon Dollars!
Now it’s Youngster Dave, in what seems to be a field of backwards cap wearing children. Also, Dave is a very strange name of a child to have. Dave is like, a dad name. A young David later evolves into a Dave and not so soon.
En Garde grew to Level 25!
Won 288 Pokémon Dollars!
Razz found 1x Pecha Berry!
It’s time for Engineer Bernie! Will I feel the Bern? MAYBE, HE HAS A MAGNEMITE. I HATE MAGNEMITES. FOR SASSY! TWO MAGNEMITES?! AND A MAGNETON!? OH, YOU ARE DEAD! Macho Man echoes my sentiments and we Karate Chop a path through those electric/steel buggers.
Won 864 Pokméon Dollars!
Gamer Jasper distracts me from my Magnemite rage in the next battle.
Macho Man grew to Level 25!
Won 1296 Pokémon Dollars!
Found 1x X Defend!
Time for another battle, Youngster Yasu is my opponent. Which is a super strange name all-in-all. It doesn’t help him any and neither do his Rattatas and Raticate.
Budley grew to Level 25!
Won 272 Pokémon Dollars!
Well, you're not wrong.
Now Gamer Dirk….and what the hell, man!? Why are there so many Magnemites all of a sudden?! All these painful memories!
Won 1296 Pokémon Dollars!
Found 1x Great Ball!
Caw McGraw grew to Level 25!
Razz found 1x Razz Berry!
Time for Engineer Braxton! Wait? Braxton? Like Braxton Hicks? Google it, go on, I’ll wait. You’ve learned something now. What? You were expecting me to tell you? Ha. I pity the fool. ANOTHER MAGNEMITE ARE YOU FUDGING SERIOUS?
Won 1008 Pokémon Dollars!
Gamer Darian! BRING IT! I’M READY! I WAS BORN READY! I WAS DUELLING IN THE WOMB!
Razz grew to Level 25!
Razz learned Faint Attack!

Won 1296 Pokémon Dollars!
Found 1x Escape Rope!
Route 12
I go on through to Route 12 but like I’ve been told by the random passer-bys and that sign, there is indeed a big Pokémon blocking the way. Just sleepin’ on the bridge. He’s my spirit animal for sure.
Twinsies.

Nothing left to do but turn around and head back. Time to hit up that cave.
Ganglor grew to Level 25!
Diglett’s Cave
Would you guess what the first Pokémon I encountered here was? I don’t know if you’ll be able to. It’s super difficult. Yeah. It’s a Mewtwo. Nah, I’m just joshing, it was totally a Diglett and I totally wanted to catch it, but Caw McGraw was having NONE OF IT.
Killed the poor bugger in one Quick Attack.
That's a no from Caw McGraw.

There’s nothing but Digletts here, which is fortunate because I’ve heard that there are some pretty high-level Dugtrios in there. Still, I get out unscathed and end up back on Route 2? What? I’m going backwards now!
Route 2
I head South down the route, exploring parts that were previously inaccessible to me (due to almost invincible trees blocking the way). There’s nothing actually of note to document until I find Professor OAK’s aide. The one that apparently has something for me.
Well, as long as I’ve caught 10 kinds of Pokémon, which I thankfully have. Then he proceeds to give me one of the most useless Pokémon techniques around, which I only need to traverse a cave or two. Bah.
Received 1x HM05 - Flash!
Woo.
Found 1x Ether!
Found 1x Parlyz Heal!
WELP, BACK THROUGH DIGLETT’S CAVE!
Diglett’s Cave
There are Digletts.
McGraw grew to Level 26!
Razz found 1x Oran Berry!
I start to journey back from where I came, going all the way back to Cerulean City to where another tree had previously been blocking my path. Not a problem when you have a shiny floodin’ bicycle!
Route 9
New route, new me, girls!
First trainer in my line of sight is Picnicker Alicia. She’s got herself four Pokémon but I know that this is going to be a breeze.
Caw McGraw grew to Level 27!
Caw McGraw learned Wing Attack!
Won 360 Pokémon Dollars!
Found 1x TM40 - Aerial Ace!
Now Hiker Jeremy is next up. This is going to be a piece of piss…aaaaaand it was. Don’t throw rock-type Pokémon at me. Brock learned this the hard way. Even if you have Machop as a little buffer Pokémon.
Won 720 Pokémon Dollars!
Camper Chris is the next victim. He’s got a Growlithe, which I can respect but I’ve got a Meowth that knows dig. Sorry Chris, I’m sure your Growlithe is a good boy, but it’s not your day. Damn, he’s also got a Charmander. Still, it’s no problem for me.
Won 420 (blaze it) Pokémon Dollars!
Time to make like a tent and provide an overall uncomfortable sleeping experience.

Time for Bug Catcher Brent.
He’s got a Beedrill, I like it, but it’s inferior to En Garde. Oh! He’s got TWO Beedrills! Still, even combined my En Garde is superior. She’s a stinging machine that doesn’t know the meaning of fear.
Razz grew to Level 26!
Won 228 Pokémon Dollars!
Bug Catcher Conner pales in comparison, leading with a bloody Caterpie. I scoff, I scoff at him and I scoff at his Caterpie as Caw McGraw eats it for lunch. Although his Venonat was cute. Key word, was.
Won 240 Pokémon Dollars!
Next up on the gauntlet is Camper Drew and to be frank, I’m not worried, even before he sends out a single Pokémon.
Macho Man grew to Level 26!
Macho Man learned Seismic Toss!
Won 380 Pokémon Dollars!
Hiker Brice laughs at me and calls me a ‘little toughie’. I won’t lie, he’s probably going to regret saying that.

Budley grew to Level 26!
He regretted it.
Won 720 Pokémon Dollars!
Picnicker Caitlin comes up now. A Chris and a Caitlin on one route? Who would have thunk it? She has a Meowth but well, it doesn’t really stand up to Ganglor at all.
Won 460 Pokémon Dollars!
It’s time to shine for Hiker Alan!
Won 720 Pokémon Dollars!
Lol jk.
Found 1 x Burn Heal!
Hey wait, I haven’t caught a Pokémon on Route 9 yet! The moment I cross into Route 10 I turn on my heel and go back. Can’t miss an opportunity to add to the squad!
A Spearow comes at me first. Thanks, but no thanks, you’re inferior to Sasha. I try again and this time there’s a Sandshrew! Nice! He’s a fairly low level but I don’t judge on level, I judge on potential and I like the look of this little guy. He’s sturdy. Doesn’t go down in one hit either.
I caught a Sandshrew!
I name him Burt, after Burt Reynolds. I don’t know why I did it, but it just felt right.
Conspiracies abound.

Darude - Sandstorm. Memes and meme accessories.
Just pretend he has a moustache.

Now, it’s time to buff him up! Are you prepared for the grind? WELL ARE YOU?
Ganglor grew to Level 26!
Burt grew to Level 12!
Burt grew to Level 13!
Burt grew to Level 14!
Burt grew to Level 15!
Boots 'n' Scratch 'n' boots 'n' Scratch 'n' boots...

Burt grew to Level 16!
En Garde grew to Level 26!
Burt grew to Level 17!
Burt learned Poison Sting!
Taught Burt TM39 - Rock Tomb!
Burt grew to Level 18!
All I have to offer you right now are pictures and captions.

Burt grew to Level 19!
Burt grew to Level 20!
Burt grew to Level 21!
Caw McGraw grew to Level 28!
Burt grew to Level 22!

HARD WORK PAYS OFF.

He's on a cannonball run.
Burt evolved into Sandslash!
Route 10
Another route, another patch of grass. Despite having just spent the last while grinding, I’m not put off on the idea of adding another Pokémon to the team. Gotta have variety and I need some more if the journey ahead is to be done. The further you go, the more important type match-ups become.
It’s a Voltorb! I like it! I mean, I know I have history with electric-type Pokémon but I can’t snub them all because of a bad experience. It would be madness.
I caught a Voltorb!
Immediately I know his name, I call him Shazam. Mostly because it’s fun to say.
SHAZAM! SAY IT!

SHAAAAAZAAAAAM!


Formally known as Captain Marvel.

Taught Shazam TM34 - Shock Wave!
Shazam grew to Level 17!
Shazam grew to Level 18!
Shazam grew to Level 19!
Shazam grew to Level 20!

This is the grind that never ends, and it goes on and on my friend...
Shazam grew to Level 21!
Shazam learned Spark!
Shazam was taught HM05 - Flash!
This is a lot of grinding. I am ground down to the bone. I am just, I’m bonemeal. And you know, I got Burt up with the gang, got Shazam up there too and I’m about to go into Rock Tunnel and find somebody else to beef up too.
But FIRST! Picnicker Heidi! She’s gotta go down.
Won 400 Pokémon Dollars!
Rock Tunnel
It’s dark. Like, hella dark. At least there’s like this crazy spotlight shining down on me from goodness knows where. Like this cave knows that I’m a God.
Give 'em the old...razzle dazzle...

Unfortunately, while expecting a Geodude, or maybe I Machop, I end up encountering an unbelievable three Mankeys in a row, all vastly second-rate when stood next to Macho Man. I won’t be catching any Pokémon in here then! Also, what are the actual chances for three in a row?!
Shazam grew to Level 22!
Shazam lights up the cave with his Flash. Which you know, is super helpful and means I don’t have to traverse through the cave hugging the wall.
And Shazam said unto us, 'let there be light'.

Found 1x Repel!
Pokémaniac Ashton squares up to me for a fight. LET’S DO IT TO IT.
Budley grew to Level 27!
Won 1104 Pokémon Dollars!
Pokémaniac Winston is next and well, these guys are weird. Like, they’re wearing Charizard suits but like, with a shirt on top? Like what are they cosplaying as Charizard at private school? Business Charizard? I don’t get it.
Won 1200 Pokémon Dollars!
Your weird fetish exhausts me.

Found 1x Revive!
Picnicker Martha and her 70 year old name goes at me all surprised to be in a cave. Girl, please. En Garde shreds her Oddish and Bulbasaur and we go on our merry way.
Won 440 Pokémon Dollars!
Pokémaniac Steve confirms my suspicions as he approaches me and asks if I know about Pokémon cosplay. Well. That was a question answered a few moments later, handy. Hope he doesn’t know there’s at least two other guys in here wearing the same thing as him.
Won 1056 Pokémon Dollars!
There’s a couple of Hikers up ahead, this’ll be a piece of cake. Speaking of, I could go for a piece of cake. Carrot is my favourite but y’know lemon drizzle will do. Hiker Eric goes down first, two Pokémon in two hits.
Won 720 Pokémon Dollars!
Hiker Allen goes down in the same manner. Did you even try at all?
Won 900 Pokémon Dollars!
Ganglor grew to Level 27!
I go to the next floor and Hiker number three is waiting! Oh dear sweet Lenny, you never had a chance.
Macho Man grew to Level 27!
Won 684 Pokémon Dollars!
Macho Man grew to Level 28!
OH SNAP, HE’S EVOLVING. MY FURIOUS LITTLE MONKEY FRIEND IS GOING UP IN THE WORLD! HE’S THE KING OF THE SWINGERS, YO, THE JUNGLE VIP.
GET HYPE.

Some people say I forgot to to screenshot the after-evolution moment, those people are right.

Macho Man evolved into Primeape!
Macho Man learned Rage!
Hiker Oliver. Oh sweet, innocent Hiker Oliver, with all of your rock Pokémon. What chance did you have?
Won 720 Pokémon Dollars.
Found 1x Escape Rope!
Ganglor grew to Level 28!
This is like, the floor of Hikers. Third one in a row. Mankeys and Hikers both come in threes. Hike Lucas is his name, and losing Pokémon battles is his game.
Budley grew to Level 28!
Won 756 Pokémon Dollars!
Picnicker Sofia is waiting on the next floor. I ran out of things to say about other Pokémon trainers like three years ago.
Won 420 (you know) Pokémon Dollars!
Found 1x Max Ether!
Hiker Dudley. You smell like shame. I am probably going to beat you very easily.
Budley grew to Level 29!
Won 756 Pokémon Dollars!
Pokémaniac Cooper, are you lost? Why are all of you nerds in this cave? Do they hold conventions in Rock Tunnel, seems kinda….heh….unCONVENTIONal.
Won 960 Pokémon Dollars!
En Garde grew to Level 27!
COME ONE, COME ALL! HEY YOU THERE, PICNICKER LEAH! WHAT’S A PICNICKER? YOU WON’T SAY, HUH? YOU GOIN’ DOWN.
Won 440 Pokémon Dollars!
PICNICKER ARIANA, DO YOU HAVE THE ANSWERS I SEEK?
Won 380 Pokémon Dollars!
Found 1x Pearl!
PICNICKER DANA….oh...I give up asking. You must just like picnics or something, huh?
Won 400 Pokémon Dollars!
Sweet relief! I see the exit! I’ve had enough of this tunnel! All those strangely dressed, nerds and constant Hikers who are probably lost but pretending they aren’t due to pride. Not to mention all of the Zubats. Mocking me, reminding me of my past failure. I haven’t forgotten Sassafras. I’m going to win it all, not just for me but for you.