(Post Soundtrack: "In Case You Don't Live Forever" by Ben Platt)
Breath caught in her throat as she worked on Ruby's hurts, the teen had to force herself to exhale past it every time. In every second that passed, she waited for news of her friends, expecting the worst to pass from the woman's mouth. Daiya squinted, biting her lower lip in the effort to focus on her job. Ruby wasn't the only one hurt, nor was she the worst off, Daiya knew she would have to move on eventually.
When it came, the news might have crushed the young shadowrunner. Her eyes looked at Ruby, really looked, watching the elder Jaxx sister struggle with the same frustration she was. Try as she might, Daiya had found her communications blocked and the HoloNet completely down. The one hardwired connection the Tombs had to a newscast was playing little more than propaganda, the Corpo-approved version of events. It would hardly cover the details they both so badly yearned for, news of their friends, their whereabouts, even announcements of arrests would have been a welcome report to the constant paranoia that lived in its stead.
"
Brie. Where is she?"
"
I got—" Daiya started her answer, her voice brimming with the chance to share. She halted midway through her lies, her heart betraying her in the instant. That wasn't fair. The young shadowrunner didn't need to look around to be reminded of the others who were here, Ruby was lying hurt right before her very eyes. And it was all because of her. A breath in her voice as she drew in a breath, swallowing back the whimper that would betray her again. Daiya didn't want this guilt inside her, the ugliness that swam inside and churned her stomach sick.
And still, the teen knew it was going to hurt to confess her responsibility for the whole mess.
"
I told her to go with Cartri, to keep them out of it," she admitted in a small voice. Her head turned aside, casting her eyes somewhere else than to look at Ruby now. Whatever relief she might have gained from her admission, Daiya wasn't about to let herself feel it right now. There were more shadowrunners left to tend, and thinking of herself wasn't going to make that easier to do. "
I should have stayed with her, I know Ruby, please don't hate me. Cartri wouldn't let anything happen to her. Brie's safe, I know she's safe. I just...don't know where..."
For a moment, Daiya thought she had imagined the voice in her head. It would be just like her tumultuous thoughts to bring Brie to the surface, reminding her in the most torturous way of what she had left behind on that train. The specter's voice rang too close to the words her heart had written a hundred times in the voice of her best friend.
Daiya! Me, Cassus and Cartri are just passing through Tomb Station.
"
She's safe..." Daiya repeated to herself, a promise to herself even if Ruby didn't want to listen. The teen began to gather her things as as the voice continued in her head. She couldn't make herself stop listening to the words, hanging on to even the worst of her fears just to hear Brie one more time.
"
...He needs you..."
Daiya jerked with a start, touching the comlink in her ear with a short gasp. It was as real as the words in her head, as real as the ones she had just heard through the comlink.
He needs you. The teen sought the last few moments in her mind, working them over with her newfound understanding. "
Oh my stars," she said at once, the alarm in her voice widening the shape of her eyes. Her hands harried to a rush, scrambling with the last few items for her medkit while she explained, "
Brie's here, Ruby, and Cartri. He's hurt, I gotta go to him, he's..."
She couldn't bring herself to say it.
We're getting a doctor for him, but you should come. The words clutched at her throat, closing it off to anything but her shuddering gasps of air. Daiya could hardly thing of anything else but for the state of the boy she cared for most in the galaxy. Meeting him, getting to know him,
really know him, was one of the only things keeping her going in these days. As her eyes met Ruby's one last time, she could almost see a mirror of her own. What Ruby's sister meant to her, Daiya's boyfriend meant the same.
Daiya had enough wherewithal to promise a short, "
I'll send her," before dashing away. She ran, thoughts of her duty and penance fleeing behind the teen as she rushed to find Cartri. His was the closest soul to hers in all the galaxy, Daiya knew his every freckle and the beat of his heart. Hers tried as best as she could to match it, its frantic pace skipping out of sync as her eyes scoured the Tombs entrance for sight of his perfect ginger hair, his kind eyes, his mischievous smile. They strained through the blurry dampness that assaulted the edges of her eyes, while the rest of her struggled through sniffling breathes and limbs that couldn't work fast enough.
Brie was covered in blood the first time she spied her best friend, nearly stopping Daiya dead in her tracks. Her voice cried out and she willed her feet to work, not wanting to see the worst of it all. Her best friend was standing, alert and looking just the same as Daiya, whose mind took another moment to register that fact. As she drew closer, the teen finally recognized the twisted form beside Brie, and then her limbs nearly did give out. "
No..." she called out, tears staining across her reddened face. It was brighter than the red that stained the clothes he wore, the armor that was meant to keep him safe. "
Cartri!"
She rushed the last few meters, flying across the distance to her boyfriend's side. Her hands hovered above his form, hardly daring to touch him. "
Is he...?" she managed, her eyes finding the depth inside the man who carried him. Cassus stood strong where Cartri could no longer, setting him down on the filthy, debris-strewn floor of the Tombs. Daiya collapsed down beside him, her eyes hardly recognizing his pale, broken form. "
Cartri, please, say something. Be here, please, be alive."
Her head touched to his chest, listening for that rhythm she thought she knew so well. It pulsed to a different beat, weak and erratic, and at last the teen remembered her medscanner. Her hands fumbled for it, grasping nothing in her palms, pointing instead with hapless guidance to her friends, "
In the medkit, the scanner..." As she squeaked out the words, Daiya glanced up at Brie. It took everything she had to remember her promise, to remember herself as more than just the mourning girlfriend of the prone form beneath her. The teen managed to point her best friend in the direction of her sister, "
Ruby's..."
Daiya was overcome by the sobs in her chest, turning back down to Cartri's again. Blood fled from his wound, swelling fiercely around the bandage already soaked red throughout. Tears swelled fiercely in her eyes, and the teen pressed her hands down on the bandage. "
No, no, no," she looked over at Cartri, freeing one hand to brush the sweat-drenched hair from his face. "
Cartri, please, Cartri, look at me?"
Sobs wracked her body, flooding up as she desperately pressed down to stem the flow from his wound. "
Don't leave me, Cartri, please don't." It couldn't have been a blaster bolt, the way it bled so much, Daiya figured. Nothing made sense to her, not that anything had since the start of the day. "
It's all my fault, I'm such a fething idiot," she told him, her guilt rushing up like so many tears, "
This should never have happened!"
When he had appeared on the train, Daiya thought it was all ruined. Everything they had disagreed on, argued about, even nearly broken up over was at risk in that moment. She was convinced then that Cartri couldn't know of her involvement in the bombing, he would have hated her for it. Him being there, seeing who Daiya and her Darkfire contacts had decided on as their target, could have sent it all crashing down. It was a stroke of luck that his presence convinced the Jedi to follow her, and an even bigger stroke that Cartri trusted her enough not to.
"
I failed you," the words came freely between her sobs now, unable to hold anything back. Daiya peered down at him, wishing they were talking about this over a drink instead. Maybe then he would have just laughed about it, or started talking about how to fix everything. More than likely, she knew, he would have been disappointed in her, at least at first. If only he could just be disappointed! "
You weren't supposed to be there, you weren't supposed to know about the train today. That was between Hex and me and..." Daiya buttoned her lips to keep her silence, lest she betray the others who had helped her set up today's event. "
It's all my fault that this happened. None of us was supposed to get hurt, just that Jedi. I didn't know she was a Jedi, just some Alliance higher-up. We were going to blow them up and it would've made the Corpos look bad to the Alliance, and then they'd be too busy to focus on Darkwire for a while. It was stupid, I know that now." Her words stumbled over each other as she repeated, "
I'm such a fething idiot for all of it, it's all my fault."
"
I never wanted you to see that, to be there, y'know? We decided not to argue about that part, remember? You wanted to talk to Denon, and talking's great, but we saw how it worked with the whole broadcast thing. Talking didn't work, Denon needs more than that to wake up. And you didn't wanna know, remember? I was trying to respect that, Cartri, I thought that's what you wanted..." Daiya couldn't know if Cartri remembered
their tearful argument at her apartment, right after the
tattoo-aided meeting with Darkwire. Her rage had been so fierce then, burning up inside of her. Seeing the train go up was meant to have been cathartic. It was meant to be
easy!
"
I was gonna meet up with you right after, I swear! I even asked Brie to watch with me, 'cause..." She didn't dare look at her best friend then, not wanting to see the hurt and betrayal in Brie's eyes either. It crushed Daiya to know that she had put two of her closest companions in such lethal peril. Her heart felt gripped by it, slowly suffocating her with each moment its grip tightened around the beating of her guilty heart. She pressed against Cartri's wound, hoping with every fiber of her being that she wasn't about to be responsible for the death of her boyfriend.
She liked Cartri too much for that. No, her body revolted against that idea. A fresh round of sobs came down upon her, as Daiya leaned in to kiss him. "
I love you, Cartri." Her hand stroked through his hair, in the way he only ever suffered her to do. "
I don't know why I never said that until now, I've felt it for a long time. You're the only one I ever want now, just please live, Cartri."
Daiya bent her head down to kiss him again, "
You can't die, Cartri, I love you too much. Please forgive me, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen, I love you and I was just trying to keep everyone happy. Please look at me, and if you can say something, please...?"
Her ear pressed down to his chest as her eyes lingered on his, quieting the sobs that still escaped from her lips. Daiya just waited, listening and hoping to hear something from the boy she loved.