It was another rainy night in Denon, a place which never seemed to sleep. It was a few days after the tatt chat and Cartri had been thinking about Daiya. He loved her, the thought of her being upset over his actions was driving him crazy. Swallowing his pride he threw on whatever he could find (Which was a pair of shorts and short sleeved shirt) and ran to Daiya’s through the cold rain. Nothing was going to stop him saying sorry to the girl, not even his own beliefs. Covered from head to toe in water, he hesitantly knocked on the door three times and hoped she answered.
Music thrummed through the apartment, its percussive beat and simple chords driving out the sound of rain against the teen's windows. She nodded along with the rhythms of the song, sitting cross-legged on her bed with her datapad in one hand and the other in a bag of frag snack chips. She pulled out a chip, putting it to her mouth before frowning. The teen could smell the scent of oil and salt wafting off the fried tuber, calling to her senses and filling her mouth with saliva. Hesitation pulled the chip from her lips, drawing a defeated groan from her throat as she stuffed the chip back inside the bag and smashed the pause button on her datapad to return the sound of rain to her apartment.
The knocks were loud and clear now, prompting Daiya to the door. She peeped through privacy screen enough for her defeated groans to become one plaintive whine of frustration, and her forehead tapped roughly against her side of the door. Daiya couldn't beat it out of her, and his knocks wouldn't let her ignore it either, so she finally unlatched the door and pulled it open to stare at the incredibly wet boy in front of her. "What?" the indignant teen asked Cartri, spinning her hand to hurry along his response. "C'mon, spit it out, Knuckles."
“Daiya...” he said to her with a cold shiver through his body, Drenched in the natural weather of Denon that made him cold to the touch. She still looked quite annoyed by his presence and he didn’t blame her. All he wanted to do was say sorry and face whatever built up anger she had left from the moment “I...I’m sorry for going hard on you okay? I know we have different opinions on what should be done, but we can’t let that get in the way of our relationship. I’m a fething kark for doing it in front of everyone...” he said as he put his arms across his chest and lightly kept on his feet to try and warm up “C-can I please come in?”
Daiya folded her own arms across her chest, standing contrary to Cartri's form. She glared at the boy, discovering a petulant satisfaction from his wet form. The teen had done her best to drive out the sound of the pelting rain, but now here it stood in front of her. She sighed, eyes rolling at the set of problems in front of her, "No," the teen declared stubbornly, her nose wrinkling even at the suggestion. "You think a fething apology is going to make up for everything? I've never been so humiliated, and..." Daiya felt her eyes grow damp with the memory once more, "Chit, you're fething lucky I couldn't actually cry that day."
His face frowned when she coldly said no, still leaving him to shiver in the cold environment of Denon as Daiya took pleasure in watching him suffer “Come on Daiya, do you really think I’d want to purposely humiliate you? All I wanted was to get my point across and make my worried feelings known to you, alright?” he said softly, keeping his eyes on hers “You know I couldn’t sleep for days after that, I just want to make things right...”
"Your feelings," Daiya said flatly. She left the words by themselves for a moment, hanging alone in the chilly air of the apartment hall. The teen wanted to just slam the door, leave him suffering in view of the neighbors and lookyloos whose eyes had been drawn by their loud conflict. She didn't care, he had dragged her right back into the chaos of that day's memory, and her heart had plunged deep inside. Her chest ached with the resurrected emotions again, the memory of rage just turning her cold inside. That could have been enough to slam the door, if her impulsive break-up hadn't caused her the same agony on Cartri's lips now. "Feth your feelings. What about my feelings?" Her voice was small, her eyes wet with blurry fear of reliving the whole experience again. "They blew up my life and drove away the person I cared about most, I have the right to get even! I thought you'd get it, after everything that happened with Xan!"
Cartri let the silence of the first comment linger unanswered for a few moments, his head lowering slightly from the shame he felt. He didn’t want their relationship to end over one difference of opinion. There was more to life than that, and disagreements like that would always be there to test the strength of their relationship “Yea... I know how you feel. When Xan was taken away I was left angry and confused. I was like you at first, wanting nothing but destruction upon the corpo’s who hurt my sister. Although, after weeks alone in my apartment punching holes in the walls I knew I didn’t have the heart to do it. If I went through with it, I wouldn’t of been able to control myself, something that was sure to drive me to the brink of Insanity. My concern for the bigger picture saved me and many innocent lives Daiya, that’s why I'm so worried of the path you walk. I care about you Daiya... I want you to be happy and safe. Not broken and miserable” he said with a croak, a single tear rolling down his cheek as his face was struggling to hold his emotions in.
"I'm not miserable!" She snapped at him, suddenly brimming with words again. "And I'm not the only one who's hurt. Fething everyone on this planet would be right where I am if they knew the chit we do." Daiya wiped at her eyes, stubbornness keeping her rooted to the spot. She watched the boy's eyes, looking for recognition, or any sign that this was getting to him. Every moment she spent in Cartri's presence like this had her feeling less and less grounded, uncertainty rocking her connection to the world. Her lungs strained as they grasped at shallow breaths, and the teen leaned against the threshold of her door for balance. "And maybe I've just got more heart than you do!" The teen whimpered with each breath now, her knees weakening as she slipped lower on the threshold. "Maybe that's why you aim right for my heart when you attack..."
“Aim for the heart? Daiya I would never purposely do that” he said in a softer voice, his eyes hurting from how sad she looked. Hesitantly, he took a few steps forward towards her and offered a hand out to the girl. Cartri’s eyes looked into Daiya’s with warmth and care “You do have more heart than me Daiya, you’re a strong girl who deserves the galaxy” he said with a sorrowful smile “I’d do anything to make you happy and regain your trust again.”
"How?" Her legs sank to the ground with her heart, the teen's eyes looking down at the threshold of her apartment. A plaintive voice laid out the terms to Cartri better than Daiya could fathom, memories left her mind as empty as her heart now. She looked up, not at the boy but at the ceiling, squinting as if she could barely spot it. "How could you even look at me if you think I'm such a monster, much less want me to be happy? Do monsters even deserve to be happy?"
“Hey now, you’re not a monster. If you were a monster, do you think I’d come back to check on you or bother to hang out with a girl like you at all?” He smiled, slowly coming up beside her to extend a hand down to the sad Daiya “A girl like you deserves all the happiness in the galaxy. I love you alright? When you’re unhappy I’m unhappy” he said softly, hoping she’d take it so he can put an arm around her caringly “Come on, let’s go speak inside...”
"Alright," she whimpered softly, just wanting this aching to be at an end. The teen reached up her hand, letting Cartri pull her up, but her eyes remained allergic to him. Daiya peeled back from his slung arm, becoming as small as she could in the boy's embrace. She felt aimless as he led her back into the teen's own apartment, her feet already forgetting the way. Her body reached for purchase, seeking out the nearest thing that wasn't the too-familiar presence of Cartri. She suffocated under his doting care, resigning herself to hearing out the boy. "Just say what you want and go, okay?"
Cartri let her have her own space and frowned at what it had gotten too. He wasn’t going to have a good set of mind until he knew Daiya was happy “Once I've said my peace I'll go and never show my face again alright? I’ve just come by to say I was wrong and ignorant to call you out like that, especially with how you were feeling in the moment. You’re a strong girl with a good head on her shoulders, so I trust you will be safe and make the right decision when the time comes. It’s not my business to tell you what to do, nor is it yours to tell you mine. You’re one of the few people I'd trust with my life Daiya, whatever you do, I’ll always love you.” he said as a hand went to his eye to wipe away a tear, a small sigh escaping his lips “I’ll see myself out then...”
"Wait!" The plaintive cry even surprised Daiya, bubbling forth from a face wet with tears. She stepped toward him, struggling on weak knees with a heart that pulled her in too many directions. The teen paused, a sob wracking her chest as she held out a hand to him. Now that the moment was finally here, she couldn't bear to see it end like this. Spite faded as the impulsive girl saw her future days stretched out before her, his absence staining them black with the horrors she saw far too often in her Force-cursed Visions. Daiya didn't want what he'd shown her at the tatt-chat meeting, but this wasn't that boy right now. This Cartri was the boy she had found attractive and fun, the boy who made her feel safe when he was around. "Please don't go. I..." Her arms folded around her body as Daiya sought the only physical comfort she could right now, stammering the painful admission to the boy. "I don't want to be alone."
Cartri stopped as he reached for the door and turned around to look at a tearful Daiya. His own eyes did the same when she asked him not to go and how didn’t want to be alone. Without hesitation, the boy went over to her and wrapped his arms around Daiya, pulling her head close to his chest “You’re not going to be Daiya, I’ll always be here for you” he said softly in Daiya’s ear, a hand slowly stroking her hair reflectively. He wondered if Daiya could hear how fast his stressed heart was beating, one finally finding relief from their embrace. Cartri let out a silent sob and finally let his built up emotion flood through him. With his head leaned up on hers he cried, thankful that Daiya was willing to look past the argument. He couldn’t bear to lose her now...
She cried in his arms, ignoring the painful sting of his warm presence wrapped around her. Fear assaulted her chest, fighting against the compassion radiated by Cartri. Daiya wallowed in the splintered state, wanting to hate the boy for how far he pushed her, and hating herself even more for lashing out. The teen leaned against the boy, letting him soothe her implacable spirit. "You weren't then..." she pointed out, unable to wrench herself from the emotions of that day's argument. "I don't even get what happened. We were talking, and then all of the sudden we were fighting. And Doc and Cassus were on different sides and I..." Daiya's words choked up, her fears finding a weak point in their combined armor. "I got really scared."
“I always was Daiya. Just because I disagree doesn’t mean I hate you and throw you to the wayside” he said with a small kiss to her temple, quickly wiping away the steady stream of tears rolling down his cheeks “It was a situation that got way out of hand. Mainly because of me...” he admitted with a choke, pulling her off him for now as he looked her in the eyes with two hands on her shoulders “I scared you Daiya, if anything I’m the monster. That isn’t even the first time either” he said with a sob now, his head lowered and his breathing heavy “Feth man... I’m just an accident waiting to happen!”
"You're not the one with the curse..." the demure teen offered. Daiya looked up at him for the first time in a while, feeling worse to see him cry over their dispute. "Not just with that Force chit, I push people away. Every time I get close to someone, I feth it up." A fresh team of tears trailed down from her eyes, pressing her face back against his shoulder. Daiya held on to Cartri, desperate for that feeling of safeness with him that eluded her now. "You should hate me, you're better off without me."
“Doesn’t that make us in the same boat?” He said with a sad smile. Cartri felt the same way as her about fucking up all the time, both of them were way closer then they thought “The thing is Daiya, I’d be lost without you now. You’ve brought me more calm and peace more than anyone I’ve ever known. You and Xan are the only ones who have ever shown me true love in my life. It just feels right when I’m around you” he said to Daiya, the smile on his face widening as he moved his lips forward to lock in a quick kiss “You mean more to me than you could possibly imagine.”
Daiya melted into his kiss, her body betraying all of her conflicted emotions to drown her in the moment. The fears of betrayal and uncertainty washed away, and the memories of their past dates and moments together resurfaced. She shook with a thready whimper as he pulled away, and the teen latched her hands behind Cartri's head, drawing his lips back to hers. Her eyes still leaked tears, when they parted at last, her now lungs felt calm as she took a deep breath. Her muscles unwound, and Daiya's hands fell to lightly take him by the shoulders. "Stars, we're both just really fethed up." A wry chuckle escaped her lips, and the teen focused on putting herself back together. After a few more steady breaths, she managed a small grin. "You like the Cursed Girl and I like the Monster."
Once Cartri pulled away he was almost back to her lips instantly, tears still rolling down his cheeks from all the emotion leaking out of him. When they finally parted, he gave her a warm and relieved smile. Daiya seemed to be calming down now, and when she finally smiled back he could help but give another wider one back “We both have our pasts Daiya. But together, I’m sure we can create new happy memories that will overshadow our sadness” he said softly before pulling her into another hug “We have each other, and that’s all that matters.”
"Does it? You're not still mad at me for wanting to hurt the Corpos?" Her grin faded as the young shadowrunner asked the earnest question. She wiped her eyes, yet more leaked in its place, an unwilling reminder of the pain behind her cause. Daiya couldn't return that warmth or kindness of the boy engulfing her with his presence, she was just smothered. It was all she could do to push back, her instinct to run stayed only by her fear of more pain if she and Cartri were driven apart forever. "I know it's not the nice thing or the better thing to do, I just have to do it, y'know? For me. I don't expect you to help, I know you don't think it's right. But it's the right thing for me."
“It’s your choice Daiya, I’ve known you long enough to know how much of a free spirit you are. I can trust myself to let you pick the choice you crave most” Cartri smiled and pulled her away from his embrace for now, two hands placed on her shoulders “If you feel it’s right, then I can’t say anything else. Just promise me you’ll keep safe out there alright?! That’s all I ask from you” The teen said with a choke in his voice, desperate not to lose her.
"It's not like I want to be a free spirit. Feth, I'd love to do the safe thing all the time, but that doesn't earn credits. And the Corpos don't do handouts." Daiya felt the fire rising in her throat again, driving her apart from the boy. She took hold of the warm presence on her shoulders, grasping his hands in hers as she pried them away. The teen looked at them, then back up to the unyielding faith in Cartri's eyes, blazing so bright she nearly turned away. Daiya felt her voice turn small again, interlocking her fingers so she felt his palms pressing into hers, grounding her in the moment now. "I'm trying to make it safe, Cartri, for everyone. I am trying, please trust me."
Cartri looked down slightly to see their hands interlocking again, their eyes meeting in a locked gaze that seemed to show all their love for each other returning. When she promised him she was trying to make it safe for everyone, he hesitantly nodded and smiled lightly at her “I trust you Daiya...” he said softly to the girl, his hands lightly pulling her forwards to plant another kiss on her lips. Taking his time, Cartri’s eyes finally opened again and looked down to Daiya with that unforgettable warm smile “What was that music you had on before I came in by the way? It sounded pretty good” he said to her with a brief chuckle, attempting to wind down and move on the distressing subject.
"You liked that?" Daiya asked, relief crawling across her face at the change of subject. The teen broke away from the kiss and their close contact, freeing herself to take the few steps over to her bed again. She flopped against the covers, drying eyes that had stopped leaking so much, a warmth rising again on ruddy cheeks. She focused herself on the task, eagerly escaping into the depth of playlists the teen accumulated from idle time listening, and selected one with a renewed grin on her face. Daiya set it to play, and patted the bed before leaning back into her comfortable seat of pillows in her customary position. "This one is even better."
Cartri smiled from the renewed warmth Daiya was starting to feel and followed her onto the bed to lay down. Crawling beside her, he lay back and put his head onto a pillow under him. Looking over to Daiya, he slowly began to nod his head to the beat “Okay... I think you’re right about this one” he chuckled, eagerly listening to the fresh rhythm that was going through his ears.
"Hey!" Daiya sat up when the boy laid down next to her, mock indignation sketched over her face. The teen shoved his shoulder lightly, before grasping the pillow with both of her hands. She grunted as she tugged at it, pulling it out from under the boy's head. "No, no, no, your Comfy Chill With Daiya privileges are still on probation, you gotta earn this chit back." Daiya pressed the pillow to her torso, wrapping her arms around it before tucking her chin on top of her new, plush shield, her lower lip coming out to pout at Cartri. "You still have to make it up to me."
“H-hey wait Daiyaaa!” He groaned out as Daiya took away the comfy and plush pillow that was holding up his head. Cartri looked at the girl with a frown and leaned his upper body up, glaring at the girl's pouting face “Hmmmm... fine what do I need to do to make it up for you? There must be something that can get me in your good books again.”
"Hmmm," she muttered thoughtfully, tapping her chin as the teen sat back on her haunches. A dazzling array of ideas pranced through her mind, bringing an impish smile and giggles to her lips. Daiya hummed as she rocked back and forth with the pillow in her arms, tossing her pinkened curls to the music all around them. "Well, I thought about trying to dangle you over the roof, but I'd probably need super strength like Xan."
“Ha, very funny Daiya!” He said with a giggle of his own. In some ways, he was happy to see her smiling and giggling again. That’s the girl he always loved to see “Preferably something that doesn’t involve me being scared to death or even in danger of being killed. But even so, I’m sure you’d have great pleasure from it!” He said back with a playful nudge to her shoulder.
"You're no fun." The teen groused, sticking her tongue out at the boy. Her earlier desire for revenge lingered at the back of her thoughts, pushing on Daiya's renewed, still fragile connection with Cartri. She scoured his face, her eyes drawn down to the boy's warm, long body lying on her bed, and a devious grin finally emerged from the teen. "How do you feel about tattoos?" One finger reached out to trace along his forearm, dragging a path up his damp ginger hairs. "You're practically Factory Default, we should change that."
Cartri stuck his tongue out back at her and giggled, leaning back on the bed to look up to the ceiling for a few silent moments “Tattoos? I don’t really think about them all that much. Why?” He said back with a raised brow, up until he rolled his eyes to the proposition of getting one. The boy grinned, his arm showing goosebumps from her delicate touch.
"Hrmmm," Daiya's hum made a sour note, and pulled back her arms to fold across her chest. She tucked her chin against her sternum, curly locks falling across her face like curtains. Her small voice wondered at Cartri's real intentions coming here today, "Maybe you don't really want to make it up to me yet..." The teen's mournful demeanor lasted only as long until she wiped at her face, then tipped her head back up, shaking it with a new idea brimming on her lips. "What about a shopping trip? You buy!" Her lower lip came out at him, pleading with the boy. "Pleeeaaaase? It would really make it up to me."
“Hey... of course I wanna make it up to you. It’s just got to be something more reasonable” he said back to her softly as she thought of a number of ideas. However, it wasn’t long till she offered a shopping trip to be his ticket for forgiveness “Oh fine... we’ll go tomorrow morning if you’re free” Cartri said with a gentle nudge on her shoulder. Thankfully the boy had been saving credits ever since he got here, so he didn’t mind splashing some cash on a girl he admired. “Let me guess... clothes and hair dye?” The boy chuckled, leaning forward to provide a peck on her lips.
"It's like you don't even know me!" Daiya squealed after the kiss, her hands lightly slapping on the boy's shoulders to knock him back. A grin played over her face, spelling out amusement at Cartri's suggestions. "I need different cleaner for my new armor suit, and I've been looking for some prothium gas for my blasters." She giggled at the wildly different shopping list than Cartri had envisioned, and leaned forward to offer him a consolation prize with a peck on his lips as well. "But if you really want, I'll let you buy me a cute skirt to wear."
“Oh wow! Is this a new Daiya I'm seeing?” he laughed as her hands pushed him on the shoulders, forcing him back first onto the bed. Leaning back up with a smile, he moved his head forward to accept Daiya’s gift of a peck on his own lips too. Although, when she mentioned about getting a cute skirt his cheeks seemed to blush slightly from the offer “Oh, you do know how to sweeten the deal don’t you?” the teen giggled before wrapping his arms around her and playfully bringing her down to the bed next to him in a hug “Do I have that privilege back now?”
"Maaaaaaaybe..." she giggled and squirmed in the boy's warm embrace for a moment. Freeing her hands out from his hug, the teen rested them on him. For a brief time, Daiya just grinned at him, discovering wonder in this kind of closeness. Her breaths were shallow and her heart pounded, but the teen felt safe in Cartri's presence again. Safe enough to let him stay for a while, at least. She could push her uncertainty down past her gut, Daiya didn't want to deal with it any longer today, she only wondered when it would rise back up to the surface. Finally, she told the boy, "We are going to stop by the tattoo parlor, though. You don't have to buy, but you do have to look."
Cartri smiled back at her and kept silent, looking into her eyes in thought as she squirmed her hands from his embrace. With both of their hearts beating fast, it was Daiya who finally broke the silence between them. Sighing slightly, he hesitantly gave a nod to the proposition “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a look” he said to her in almost a whisper. With her next to him again, he was happy Daiya found it in her heart to forgive him. He dreaded to think what would have happened if they broke apart like that...
"Good!" Daiya grinned again, satisfied that she could get that one concession from him. If she was going to trust him not to blow up when they disagreed next time, the teen had to figure out the boy's tolerances. It was even better if Cartri could get something out of the deal, she'd wondered how he would react to her in a skirt since the moment he had imagined it on her. Her cheeks flushed at the thought, and Daiya pried herself from the embrace. Sitting up, she grabbed the datapad and turned up the music. "Okay, Comfy Chill With Daiya time!"
Daiya giggled and fell back on the pillow, eager to spend a few hours listening to music with Cartri.
(Written jointly with Cartri Keswoll )
Music thrummed through the apartment, its percussive beat and simple chords driving out the sound of rain against the teen's windows. She nodded along with the rhythms of the song, sitting cross-legged on her bed with her datapad in one hand and the other in a bag of frag snack chips. She pulled out a chip, putting it to her mouth before frowning. The teen could smell the scent of oil and salt wafting off the fried tuber, calling to her senses and filling her mouth with saliva. Hesitation pulled the chip from her lips, drawing a defeated groan from her throat as she stuffed the chip back inside the bag and smashed the pause button on her datapad to return the sound of rain to her apartment.
The knocks were loud and clear now, prompting Daiya to the door. She peeped through privacy screen enough for her defeated groans to become one plaintive whine of frustration, and her forehead tapped roughly against her side of the door. Daiya couldn't beat it out of her, and his knocks wouldn't let her ignore it either, so she finally unlatched the door and pulled it open to stare at the incredibly wet boy in front of her. "What?" the indignant teen asked Cartri, spinning her hand to hurry along his response. "C'mon, spit it out, Knuckles."
“Daiya...” he said to her with a cold shiver through his body, Drenched in the natural weather of Denon that made him cold to the touch. She still looked quite annoyed by his presence and he didn’t blame her. All he wanted to do was say sorry and face whatever built up anger she had left from the moment “I...I’m sorry for going hard on you okay? I know we have different opinions on what should be done, but we can’t let that get in the way of our relationship. I’m a fething kark for doing it in front of everyone...” he said as he put his arms across his chest and lightly kept on his feet to try and warm up “C-can I please come in?”
Daiya folded her own arms across her chest, standing contrary to Cartri's form. She glared at the boy, discovering a petulant satisfaction from his wet form. The teen had done her best to drive out the sound of the pelting rain, but now here it stood in front of her. She sighed, eyes rolling at the set of problems in front of her, "No," the teen declared stubbornly, her nose wrinkling even at the suggestion. "You think a fething apology is going to make up for everything? I've never been so humiliated, and..." Daiya felt her eyes grow damp with the memory once more, "Chit, you're fething lucky I couldn't actually cry that day."
His face frowned when she coldly said no, still leaving him to shiver in the cold environment of Denon as Daiya took pleasure in watching him suffer “Come on Daiya, do you really think I’d want to purposely humiliate you? All I wanted was to get my point across and make my worried feelings known to you, alright?” he said softly, keeping his eyes on hers “You know I couldn’t sleep for days after that, I just want to make things right...”
"Your feelings," Daiya said flatly. She left the words by themselves for a moment, hanging alone in the chilly air of the apartment hall. The teen wanted to just slam the door, leave him suffering in view of the neighbors and lookyloos whose eyes had been drawn by their loud conflict. She didn't care, he had dragged her right back into the chaos of that day's memory, and her heart had plunged deep inside. Her chest ached with the resurrected emotions again, the memory of rage just turning her cold inside. That could have been enough to slam the door, if her impulsive break-up hadn't caused her the same agony on Cartri's lips now. "Feth your feelings. What about my feelings?" Her voice was small, her eyes wet with blurry fear of reliving the whole experience again. "They blew up my life and drove away the person I cared about most, I have the right to get even! I thought you'd get it, after everything that happened with Xan!"
Cartri let the silence of the first comment linger unanswered for a few moments, his head lowering slightly from the shame he felt. He didn’t want their relationship to end over one difference of opinion. There was more to life than that, and disagreements like that would always be there to test the strength of their relationship “Yea... I know how you feel. When Xan was taken away I was left angry and confused. I was like you at first, wanting nothing but destruction upon the corpo’s who hurt my sister. Although, after weeks alone in my apartment punching holes in the walls I knew I didn’t have the heart to do it. If I went through with it, I wouldn’t of been able to control myself, something that was sure to drive me to the brink of Insanity. My concern for the bigger picture saved me and many innocent lives Daiya, that’s why I'm so worried of the path you walk. I care about you Daiya... I want you to be happy and safe. Not broken and miserable” he said with a croak, a single tear rolling down his cheek as his face was struggling to hold his emotions in.
"I'm not miserable!" She snapped at him, suddenly brimming with words again. "And I'm not the only one who's hurt. Fething everyone on this planet would be right where I am if they knew the chit we do." Daiya wiped at her eyes, stubbornness keeping her rooted to the spot. She watched the boy's eyes, looking for recognition, or any sign that this was getting to him. Every moment she spent in Cartri's presence like this had her feeling less and less grounded, uncertainty rocking her connection to the world. Her lungs strained as they grasped at shallow breaths, and the teen leaned against the threshold of her door for balance. "And maybe I've just got more heart than you do!" The teen whimpered with each breath now, her knees weakening as she slipped lower on the threshold. "Maybe that's why you aim right for my heart when you attack..."
“Aim for the heart? Daiya I would never purposely do that” he said in a softer voice, his eyes hurting from how sad she looked. Hesitantly, he took a few steps forward towards her and offered a hand out to the girl. Cartri’s eyes looked into Daiya’s with warmth and care “You do have more heart than me Daiya, you’re a strong girl who deserves the galaxy” he said with a sorrowful smile “I’d do anything to make you happy and regain your trust again.”
"How?" Her legs sank to the ground with her heart, the teen's eyes looking down at the threshold of her apartment. A plaintive voice laid out the terms to Cartri better than Daiya could fathom, memories left her mind as empty as her heart now. She looked up, not at the boy but at the ceiling, squinting as if she could barely spot it. "How could you even look at me if you think I'm such a monster, much less want me to be happy? Do monsters even deserve to be happy?"
“Hey now, you’re not a monster. If you were a monster, do you think I’d come back to check on you or bother to hang out with a girl like you at all?” He smiled, slowly coming up beside her to extend a hand down to the sad Daiya “A girl like you deserves all the happiness in the galaxy. I love you alright? When you’re unhappy I’m unhappy” he said softly, hoping she’d take it so he can put an arm around her caringly “Come on, let’s go speak inside...”
"Alright," she whimpered softly, just wanting this aching to be at an end. The teen reached up her hand, letting Cartri pull her up, but her eyes remained allergic to him. Daiya peeled back from his slung arm, becoming as small as she could in the boy's embrace. She felt aimless as he led her back into the teen's own apartment, her feet already forgetting the way. Her body reached for purchase, seeking out the nearest thing that wasn't the too-familiar presence of Cartri. She suffocated under his doting care, resigning herself to hearing out the boy. "Just say what you want and go, okay?"
Cartri let her have her own space and frowned at what it had gotten too. He wasn’t going to have a good set of mind until he knew Daiya was happy “Once I've said my peace I'll go and never show my face again alright? I’ve just come by to say I was wrong and ignorant to call you out like that, especially with how you were feeling in the moment. You’re a strong girl with a good head on her shoulders, so I trust you will be safe and make the right decision when the time comes. It’s not my business to tell you what to do, nor is it yours to tell you mine. You’re one of the few people I'd trust with my life Daiya, whatever you do, I’ll always love you.” he said as a hand went to his eye to wipe away a tear, a small sigh escaping his lips “I’ll see myself out then...”
"Wait!" The plaintive cry even surprised Daiya, bubbling forth from a face wet with tears. She stepped toward him, struggling on weak knees with a heart that pulled her in too many directions. The teen paused, a sob wracking her chest as she held out a hand to him. Now that the moment was finally here, she couldn't bear to see it end like this. Spite faded as the impulsive girl saw her future days stretched out before her, his absence staining them black with the horrors she saw far too often in her Force-cursed Visions. Daiya didn't want what he'd shown her at the tatt-chat meeting, but this wasn't that boy right now. This Cartri was the boy she had found attractive and fun, the boy who made her feel safe when he was around. "Please don't go. I..." Her arms folded around her body as Daiya sought the only physical comfort she could right now, stammering the painful admission to the boy. "I don't want to be alone."
Cartri stopped as he reached for the door and turned around to look at a tearful Daiya. His own eyes did the same when she asked him not to go and how didn’t want to be alone. Without hesitation, the boy went over to her and wrapped his arms around Daiya, pulling her head close to his chest “You’re not going to be Daiya, I’ll always be here for you” he said softly in Daiya’s ear, a hand slowly stroking her hair reflectively. He wondered if Daiya could hear how fast his stressed heart was beating, one finally finding relief from their embrace. Cartri let out a silent sob and finally let his built up emotion flood through him. With his head leaned up on hers he cried, thankful that Daiya was willing to look past the argument. He couldn’t bear to lose her now...
She cried in his arms, ignoring the painful sting of his warm presence wrapped around her. Fear assaulted her chest, fighting against the compassion radiated by Cartri. Daiya wallowed in the splintered state, wanting to hate the boy for how far he pushed her, and hating herself even more for lashing out. The teen leaned against the boy, letting him soothe her implacable spirit. "You weren't then..." she pointed out, unable to wrench herself from the emotions of that day's argument. "I don't even get what happened. We were talking, and then all of the sudden we were fighting. And Doc and Cassus were on different sides and I..." Daiya's words choked up, her fears finding a weak point in their combined armor. "I got really scared."
“I always was Daiya. Just because I disagree doesn’t mean I hate you and throw you to the wayside” he said with a small kiss to her temple, quickly wiping away the steady stream of tears rolling down his cheeks “It was a situation that got way out of hand. Mainly because of me...” he admitted with a choke, pulling her off him for now as he looked her in the eyes with two hands on her shoulders “I scared you Daiya, if anything I’m the monster. That isn’t even the first time either” he said with a sob now, his head lowered and his breathing heavy “Feth man... I’m just an accident waiting to happen!”
"You're not the one with the curse..." the demure teen offered. Daiya looked up at him for the first time in a while, feeling worse to see him cry over their dispute. "Not just with that Force chit, I push people away. Every time I get close to someone, I feth it up." A fresh team of tears trailed down from her eyes, pressing her face back against his shoulder. Daiya held on to Cartri, desperate for that feeling of safeness with him that eluded her now. "You should hate me, you're better off without me."
“Doesn’t that make us in the same boat?” He said with a sad smile. Cartri felt the same way as her about fucking up all the time, both of them were way closer then they thought “The thing is Daiya, I’d be lost without you now. You’ve brought me more calm and peace more than anyone I’ve ever known. You and Xan are the only ones who have ever shown me true love in my life. It just feels right when I’m around you” he said to Daiya, the smile on his face widening as he moved his lips forward to lock in a quick kiss “You mean more to me than you could possibly imagine.”
Daiya melted into his kiss, her body betraying all of her conflicted emotions to drown her in the moment. The fears of betrayal and uncertainty washed away, and the memories of their past dates and moments together resurfaced. She shook with a thready whimper as he pulled away, and the teen latched her hands behind Cartri's head, drawing his lips back to hers. Her eyes still leaked tears, when they parted at last, her now lungs felt calm as she took a deep breath. Her muscles unwound, and Daiya's hands fell to lightly take him by the shoulders. "Stars, we're both just really fethed up." A wry chuckle escaped her lips, and the teen focused on putting herself back together. After a few more steady breaths, she managed a small grin. "You like the Cursed Girl and I like the Monster."
Once Cartri pulled away he was almost back to her lips instantly, tears still rolling down his cheeks from all the emotion leaking out of him. When they finally parted, he gave her a warm and relieved smile. Daiya seemed to be calming down now, and when she finally smiled back he could help but give another wider one back “We both have our pasts Daiya. But together, I’m sure we can create new happy memories that will overshadow our sadness” he said softly before pulling her into another hug “We have each other, and that’s all that matters.”
"Does it? You're not still mad at me for wanting to hurt the Corpos?" Her grin faded as the young shadowrunner asked the earnest question. She wiped her eyes, yet more leaked in its place, an unwilling reminder of the pain behind her cause. Daiya couldn't return that warmth or kindness of the boy engulfing her with his presence, she was just smothered. It was all she could do to push back, her instinct to run stayed only by her fear of more pain if she and Cartri were driven apart forever. "I know it's not the nice thing or the better thing to do, I just have to do it, y'know? For me. I don't expect you to help, I know you don't think it's right. But it's the right thing for me."
“It’s your choice Daiya, I’ve known you long enough to know how much of a free spirit you are. I can trust myself to let you pick the choice you crave most” Cartri smiled and pulled her away from his embrace for now, two hands placed on her shoulders “If you feel it’s right, then I can’t say anything else. Just promise me you’ll keep safe out there alright?! That’s all I ask from you” The teen said with a choke in his voice, desperate not to lose her.
"It's not like I want to be a free spirit. Feth, I'd love to do the safe thing all the time, but that doesn't earn credits. And the Corpos don't do handouts." Daiya felt the fire rising in her throat again, driving her apart from the boy. She took hold of the warm presence on her shoulders, grasping his hands in hers as she pried them away. The teen looked at them, then back up to the unyielding faith in Cartri's eyes, blazing so bright she nearly turned away. Daiya felt her voice turn small again, interlocking her fingers so she felt his palms pressing into hers, grounding her in the moment now. "I'm trying to make it safe, Cartri, for everyone. I am trying, please trust me."
Cartri looked down slightly to see their hands interlocking again, their eyes meeting in a locked gaze that seemed to show all their love for each other returning. When she promised him she was trying to make it safe for everyone, he hesitantly nodded and smiled lightly at her “I trust you Daiya...” he said softly to the girl, his hands lightly pulling her forwards to plant another kiss on her lips. Taking his time, Cartri’s eyes finally opened again and looked down to Daiya with that unforgettable warm smile “What was that music you had on before I came in by the way? It sounded pretty good” he said to her with a brief chuckle, attempting to wind down and move on the distressing subject.
"You liked that?" Daiya asked, relief crawling across her face at the change of subject. The teen broke away from the kiss and their close contact, freeing herself to take the few steps over to her bed again. She flopped against the covers, drying eyes that had stopped leaking so much, a warmth rising again on ruddy cheeks. She focused herself on the task, eagerly escaping into the depth of playlists the teen accumulated from idle time listening, and selected one with a renewed grin on her face. Daiya set it to play, and patted the bed before leaning back into her comfortable seat of pillows in her customary position. "This one is even better."
Cartri smiled from the renewed warmth Daiya was starting to feel and followed her onto the bed to lay down. Crawling beside her, he lay back and put his head onto a pillow under him. Looking over to Daiya, he slowly began to nod his head to the beat “Okay... I think you’re right about this one” he chuckled, eagerly listening to the fresh rhythm that was going through his ears.
"Hey!" Daiya sat up when the boy laid down next to her, mock indignation sketched over her face. The teen shoved his shoulder lightly, before grasping the pillow with both of her hands. She grunted as she tugged at it, pulling it out from under the boy's head. "No, no, no, your Comfy Chill With Daiya privileges are still on probation, you gotta earn this chit back." Daiya pressed the pillow to her torso, wrapping her arms around it before tucking her chin on top of her new, plush shield, her lower lip coming out to pout at Cartri. "You still have to make it up to me."
“H-hey wait Daiyaaa!” He groaned out as Daiya took away the comfy and plush pillow that was holding up his head. Cartri looked at the girl with a frown and leaned his upper body up, glaring at the girl's pouting face “Hmmmm... fine what do I need to do to make it up for you? There must be something that can get me in your good books again.”
"Hmmm," she muttered thoughtfully, tapping her chin as the teen sat back on her haunches. A dazzling array of ideas pranced through her mind, bringing an impish smile and giggles to her lips. Daiya hummed as she rocked back and forth with the pillow in her arms, tossing her pinkened curls to the music all around them. "Well, I thought about trying to dangle you over the roof, but I'd probably need super strength like Xan."
“Ha, very funny Daiya!” He said with a giggle of his own. In some ways, he was happy to see her smiling and giggling again. That’s the girl he always loved to see “Preferably something that doesn’t involve me being scared to death or even in danger of being killed. But even so, I’m sure you’d have great pleasure from it!” He said back with a playful nudge to her shoulder.
"You're no fun." The teen groused, sticking her tongue out at the boy. Her earlier desire for revenge lingered at the back of her thoughts, pushing on Daiya's renewed, still fragile connection with Cartri. She scoured his face, her eyes drawn down to the boy's warm, long body lying on her bed, and a devious grin finally emerged from the teen. "How do you feel about tattoos?" One finger reached out to trace along his forearm, dragging a path up his damp ginger hairs. "You're practically Factory Default, we should change that."
Cartri stuck his tongue out back at her and giggled, leaning back on the bed to look up to the ceiling for a few silent moments “Tattoos? I don’t really think about them all that much. Why?” He said back with a raised brow, up until he rolled his eyes to the proposition of getting one. The boy grinned, his arm showing goosebumps from her delicate touch.
"Hrmmm," Daiya's hum made a sour note, and pulled back her arms to fold across her chest. She tucked her chin against her sternum, curly locks falling across her face like curtains. Her small voice wondered at Cartri's real intentions coming here today, "Maybe you don't really want to make it up to me yet..." The teen's mournful demeanor lasted only as long until she wiped at her face, then tipped her head back up, shaking it with a new idea brimming on her lips. "What about a shopping trip? You buy!" Her lower lip came out at him, pleading with the boy. "Pleeeaaaase? It would really make it up to me."
“Hey... of course I wanna make it up to you. It’s just got to be something more reasonable” he said back to her softly as she thought of a number of ideas. However, it wasn’t long till she offered a shopping trip to be his ticket for forgiveness “Oh fine... we’ll go tomorrow morning if you’re free” Cartri said with a gentle nudge on her shoulder. Thankfully the boy had been saving credits ever since he got here, so he didn’t mind splashing some cash on a girl he admired. “Let me guess... clothes and hair dye?” The boy chuckled, leaning forward to provide a peck on her lips.
"It's like you don't even know me!" Daiya squealed after the kiss, her hands lightly slapping on the boy's shoulders to knock him back. A grin played over her face, spelling out amusement at Cartri's suggestions. "I need different cleaner for my new armor suit, and I've been looking for some prothium gas for my blasters." She giggled at the wildly different shopping list than Cartri had envisioned, and leaned forward to offer him a consolation prize with a peck on his lips as well. "But if you really want, I'll let you buy me a cute skirt to wear."
“Oh wow! Is this a new Daiya I'm seeing?” he laughed as her hands pushed him on the shoulders, forcing him back first onto the bed. Leaning back up with a smile, he moved his head forward to accept Daiya’s gift of a peck on his own lips too. Although, when she mentioned about getting a cute skirt his cheeks seemed to blush slightly from the offer “Oh, you do know how to sweeten the deal don’t you?” the teen giggled before wrapping his arms around her and playfully bringing her down to the bed next to him in a hug “Do I have that privilege back now?”
"Maaaaaaaybe..." she giggled and squirmed in the boy's warm embrace for a moment. Freeing her hands out from his hug, the teen rested them on him. For a brief time, Daiya just grinned at him, discovering wonder in this kind of closeness. Her breaths were shallow and her heart pounded, but the teen felt safe in Cartri's presence again. Safe enough to let him stay for a while, at least. She could push her uncertainty down past her gut, Daiya didn't want to deal with it any longer today, she only wondered when it would rise back up to the surface. Finally, she told the boy, "We are going to stop by the tattoo parlor, though. You don't have to buy, but you do have to look."
Cartri smiled back at her and kept silent, looking into her eyes in thought as she squirmed her hands from his embrace. With both of their hearts beating fast, it was Daiya who finally broke the silence between them. Sighing slightly, he hesitantly gave a nod to the proposition “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a look” he said to her in almost a whisper. With her next to him again, he was happy Daiya found it in her heart to forgive him. He dreaded to think what would have happened if they broke apart like that...
"Good!" Daiya grinned again, satisfied that she could get that one concession from him. If she was going to trust him not to blow up when they disagreed next time, the teen had to figure out the boy's tolerances. It was even better if Cartri could get something out of the deal, she'd wondered how he would react to her in a skirt since the moment he had imagined it on her. Her cheeks flushed at the thought, and Daiya pried herself from the embrace. Sitting up, she grabbed the datapad and turned up the music. "Okay, Comfy Chill With Daiya time!"
Daiya giggled and fell back on the pillow, eager to spend a few hours listening to music with Cartri.
(Written jointly with Cartri Keswoll )
