Private Take a Breath

[Trextan Voidstalker]

MINDABAAL

Choli Vyn

The air was clear. It was in the literal sense. There was still unresolved tension between them both.

"Caf with that?"

"Just a water is fine for me. Thank you."

They had found a small cafe between the spaceport and a river. Small boats drifted by. It was quite peaceful. Trextan waited until the waiter had left them with the table.

"How've you been feeling?" he asked. Trextan didn't want to launch into quizzing her about the future. He was aware that he might have initiated events, but it took two to start. However, it had taken strong wills from the both of them to stop.

---

"Lord Orryx."

"Yes?"

The cruiser hung in open space. They were in dangerous territory, but the vacuum of space was too large to sweep.

"The Wardens you wanted. Spotted back in Alliance space. Mindabaal. Should we prepare a strike team?"

"No I have something else in mind to bring them to me. Plot a course to Chalcedon and prepare a data packet for our spy."

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

Choli leaned back in her chair, the leather of her flight jacket creaking as she folded her arms. The caf-house was quiet, save for the hum of speeders in the distance and the gentle lap of the river against boat hulls. Too quiet, almost, like the silence after a dogfight when the comms cut out and you were left with only your own breathing.

She kept her gaze on the drifting boats, not Trextan, as if that might make answering easier.

"Better," she said at last, though her voice carried that rough edge that suggested she was still working on convincing herself.

"Food, sleep and water helped out... the caf will take the rest of the edge off."

Her fingers drummed against the table once before stilling. It wasn't the whole truth, but it was what she could give right now. At least, without her mind drifting over towards the bits her body ached to remember again.

Another breath, but then she added with genuine wonder.

"Just so much water. Still not used to seeing it." she admitted, looking out to the riverways.

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

TREXTAN

The hum of traffic felt distant, the river’s gentle lap at peace with everything but the ache still tight behind his chest.

Choli sat across from him, arms folded over the tabletop, her gaze drifting over the boats rocking downstream. She didn’t meet his eyes, not yet. But she was here.

“Yeah. Being on Tatooine was such an experience,” he said. His lightsaber crystal had come from the world. His family line had too, even if they had emigrated to Coruscant a generation before he was born.

"Thanks for coming out," he added, voice low.

He realised that even Tatooine was a subject that could conjour so many memories. It was impossible to separate them from their past. They still had to look at where they were now honestly.

"We could take a small boat out, if you'd like," he offered. He tried to give a little breathing room rather than diving into things.

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

Tatooine.

The word brought with it a lot of memories with it. The heat of the Twin Suns. The sand. The Sandcrawlers. Trextan kissing her silly in that tiny room. Feeling out of breath. Tipsy. Floaty feeling. Hot. Hands sweaping over --

Choli coughed, bringing her mug up to take a long sip of her caf, as if the bitter brew was going to wash away the flashback of tipsy and hormone fueled series of events that had last seen them on that backwater world together.

She was glad for the topic switch regarding the boat. It was enough to cause her to swivel her eyes at him and perk both brows up in mild, incredulous amusement at his offer. A boat. Peaceful, slow, and nothing like the cockpit of a starfighter.

Water everywhere.

"I can't swim." She said plainly, putting into focus the trouble they'd have if said boat tipped. She let her arms loosen,hands wrapped around that warm mug, and while she was not quite ready to close the gap between them yet, she wasn't pulling away either.

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

TREXTAN

They were going to need to work this out if they were going to spend more time around one another. Otherwise they would find themselves in a moment when their defences were down - tired or hurt or drunk - and the next morning they would find themselves in a place they weren't ready for yet.

"I know, but that river really isn't very deep. We'd get a life jacket so you could float. I promise you'd be safe," Trextan said. He smiled back at her. "It would be peaceful."

She had said she would do her best to keep him safe in Tatooine. Then he had betrayed her trust and walked into a sandstorm. This was a very different level of danger. Almost zero.

He reached out first. Just briefly. He stretched across the table and set his hand on top of her wrist. Trextan met her gaze and then drew his hand back. He wanted it to be a small, reaffirming gesture when he wasn't certain what to say. In truth, he knew he needed to give her space to let her thoughts filter into words.

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

A life jacket.

The thought made her lips give a twitch in humor, her eyes melting from a rich hazel into a soft blue in mirth.

A tell in a good direction.

Her eyebrow rose, a finger tapping against the rim of her mug as she chuckled out, “I’m sure that will look flattering on me.”

Not that she hadn’t used one before, she had, it was just funny.

At least until she saw and felt him reach out to gently graze her wrist in a reaffirming gesture she’d never seen him do before.

It was strange, thinking about how he’d matured in three years. This wouldn’t have been something he’d done in the past, most often tending to brood or keep to himself about whatever concerned him or was in his mind.

Choli didn’t mind it. It was just … new - - but she didn’t turn away.

“Peaceful. Hmm. Well maybe peaceful might be good now and then considering.” A pause then she canted her head to the right, studying him.

“Do you know how to swim?”

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

TREXTAN

"Considering," Trextan agreed.

He felt like there was a quiet between them now. Similar to the gentle river it was occasionally rippled by a few words but the surface remained peaceful.

He took a slow sip of his own drink before setting it down. The liquid was warm. It wasn't enough to match the warmth that rose up every time he let his thoughts drift. Even though they kept things quiet now, it had been something of a litmus test for whether they still shared chemistry.

"I can swim," he said. "No lakes on Coruscant but we had swimming pools."

"I think it's important you wear the life jacket for safety," he quietly teased. It was a strange thought, that even though he wasn't afraid of water he was far more used to the lethal vacuum of space than water.

"I like your jacket," he said of the white and blue she was wearing.

He glanced over his shoulder. Their food would be out soon.

"I can probably figure out how to row," he said. "So you don't have to pilot. Can still tell me what to do."

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

So he could swim.

They actually hadn't talked deeply about his childhood on Coruscant. At the time they met, Trextan had still been feeling the emotional surge of not only losing his mother, stepfather, the gauntlet that was the Sith Academy, then thrust upon the battlefield before coming face to face with his father, Jacen Voidstalker, the end result leaving him having to have a cybernetic arm attached.

He rarely talked of the past. His time at the Academy. Or what he had gone through. He had spoken of his surviving sisters, though, and was active enough in their lives to go to one of their weddings.

She was about to ask about them when he complimented her jacket. It threw her off slightly, comically so, and she couldn't help the slight laugh that came out as she took another sip of her caf.

"Thank you. Traded it and a few other clothes for fixing up a droid. Easier to barter labor for trade than spend the credits."

The smile lingered and she gave in.

"Alright, we can do it.. just let me warm up to the idea." She conceded, but then followed up with what she had wanted to ask.

"How are your sisters doing?"

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

TREXTAN

"Oh, thanks for asking," Trextan replied.

That simple reply more firmly established changes in his life. He didn't shy away from talking about family at all.

"Selandra seems happy enough. She's a mid-level analyst on Coruscant and I have no idea what her works means."

Trextan gave a shake of his head. It wasn't as if he liked his step sisters. Not like friends. But after the death of their parents they had slowly grown a relationship.

"Oh, they have a son. Tavian. Still...small."

Trextan didn't really know how to describe children. He was aware that it wasn't quite a baby any more and had seen photos.

"Cassira is still mean."

He thought of telling Choli that she didn't need to go on the boat if she didn't feel like it. Then he reflected that if she didn't want to she would simply tell him.

"I should go and visit them again soon. You can come see them if you'd like."

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

Choli took another sip of her caf as Trextan updated her on the circumstances of his sister's lives. IT was strange, hearing about the family lives of others still, but nice in a way as well.

Choli had long since made peace with herself that she will never locate the Tusken Tribe that had adopted her, that she would never see her adoptive father again. It had been years and the Dune Seas of Tatooine many.

Family now was a handful patchwork of spacers and Force using hermits and Wardens she could trust.

Of course, when he suggested that she could come see them, she paused, bringing her caf midway to her mouth, her arm hovering for a bit as she peered at him over the rim.

"Visit?" she asked, a bit surprised. "Me?"

That seemed ... odd. Especially since she didn't have any ties to them. The one time she met them was when Trextan had invited her to come for one of his sister's weddings and even then, she'd gone in her Alliance uniform at the time. IT had been... and a curious experience. Too many people for such a celebration. So open.

"Thank you.. but..." She began slowly, setting her mug back down. "Perhaps that might be a bit too ambitious right now."

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

TREXTAN

Trextan rubbed at the back of his neck, realizing too late how clumsy that sounded. He huffed out a breath, catching himself before the silence stretched too far.

“What I mean is… I wasn’t trying to make it sound like a big thing...” He gave a faint shrug, lips tugging into the kind of half-smile that only showed when he was self-conscious.

He trailed off. His expression was a reminder of how he had often been lost for words. She knew he didn't mean to make it an escalation. She was simply blunt when pointing out the truth.

She was an arrow that could fly true through a desert storm. He liked that about her. Even if it had meant she had been the one to make the difficult decision to end their relationship before. Did she think he was weak for cultivating feelings for her again so soon after their reunion?

"Yeah," he agreed. "Families are weird. A wedding is a weird place to meet someone too."

Actualky weddings were just strange things.

The waiter passed and dropped their plates onto the table with a perfunctory nod. Trextan seized on the chance to shift. He leaned forward as the steam rose between them.

“Smells good,” he said, a little more certain now. Food was easy. He picked up his fork, giving her a sidelong glance.

"You'll have to tell me more about surviving a tundra," he said.

His tone softened on the last line, and he left it at that, letting the food and the quiet of the riverside café carry them a while longer.

There was an unspoken rule that food came before conversation.

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

The waiter slid their plates onto the table giving both a reason to pause.

Good, a simple break to focus on food instead of words. Trextan didn't hesitate, fork already in hand, digging in with the same steady hunger she remembered from before. At least some things hadn't changed. His appetite was still intact.

It made her smile.

Choli took her own fork and pulled apart the pile she'd ordered. Locals called it a Rubbish Plate, but the name didn't do it justice. A mess of golden tubers, sharp onions, eggs folded soft, and chunks of seasoned sausage, all drowned in a generous splash of hot sauce that hit her nose before the first bite touched her tongue. She scooped up a forkful, heat and spice chasing away some of the tightness in her chest.

Trextan's mention of tundra drew her mind elsewhere, though, back to Yanibar and her expression softened further.

"Yanibar. Full of blistering dry summers and wet frigid winters," she said, almost absently. She paused long enough to spear another bite, chewing before continuing, "It's the kind of place where you learn quick, or you freeze. The storms can strip a man to bones if they are foolish enough to be caught out in them. But if you pay attention, if you move with the weather instead of against it..." her lips twitched in a faint and fond curve, "...you can see how the planet keeps its own rhythm."

She took another bite and gave a slight frown, only to look up at him and grin.

"Honestly, it is no different than Tatooine... only freezing cold. The people there... they are good people. Resilient. Hard working families there. I learned all about the Zeison Sha under Xena there."

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

TREXTAN

Trextan had a broth. The clear liquid had a film of oil and spices on top. Below the surface was a mix of noodles, meat and vegetables.

"Yeah, not against the weather..."

Trextan managed to smile and look slightly embarrassed at the same time. In truth, he could barely remember stepping out into that sandstorm.

He remembered how hear frightened she had been for his safety. And how that had turned into stern admonishment.

He set his fork down, leaning an elbow onto the table as his gaze lingered on her.

The other night hadn't felt like moving against the flow. It had felt like falling. Stopping had felt like resisting.

"I'm enjoying this," he said. "Just taking some time together. I know I've spoken my mind enough..."

He took a breath and set the words in order before he said something silly again.

"No regrets for what happened but glad we stopped when we did before... We agreed to take our time."

He offered a small smile and picked up his fork again. No questions for Choli and no pressure.

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

Choli slowly chewed on her food as she listened to Trextan, pausing slightly as he mentioned not regretting last night.

They were adults now. They didn’t need to be walking around each other on eggshells. That made sense.

But it still made her feel just a tiny bit flustered.

Choli decided then that the best foot forward was to try and be upfront about things. So after swallowing her food and taking another swig of caf for some courage, Choli took a slow breath and replied, “I don’t regret it either. Clearly I still find you attractive and yes, I still want you. But we arnt kids anymore. I do not want to move forward with things only to end up caught adrift in the way things tend to with us that we make mistakes. “

A pause then she added.

“So, boundaries. What are they? And what exactly are we trying to do here?”

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

TREXTAN

Trextan steadied himself for a moment, letting Choli’s words settle between them like a current easing into stillness. Her honesty struck him - even though he knew her well enough that it shouldn't have - not just the admission of desire but the plea to not repeat past pains.

Why were things that were so obvious so hard to say? He thought about that for a moment.

He made a small thoughtful sound. It would remind Choli of how long he could go without saying much at all when he had just been rescued from the sith.

It was also obvious that she was attracted to him, but hearing it out loud made him feel warm. Maybe it was hard to say things because they could have such an impact.

“You’re right,” he began, eyes holding hers steadily. The first question seemed much easier to answer.

“We are older now. And I don't want stuff to be careless or rash or just end up like...caufjt adrift and unfinished.”

Trextan took a breath and leaned forwards a little. His hand reached across the table. It hovered near hers, refusing to rush yet begging connection.

"Yeah let’s do it right. No shortcuts.”

"Lets make sure we don't get embarrassed on Chloe's ship," he said, thinking of what Choli had said. If he had his way her voice would go ringing down the corridors of that ship and everything would be very awkward.

"Maybe in simple terms..." Trextan averted his gaze, "...everything stays above the waist until we make a serious decision."

“What are we trying to do here?” he echoed, gentle but sure. He swallowed. That wasn't an easy question.

“If you still want then let’s build something between us. I want to make a real go of this. Of us. Like a proper couple."

It sounded ludicrous out loud so he moved on.

"What do you need from me? Boundaries, space, anything."

He waited then, open and vulnerable but trying to hold as steady as the river outside.

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

Choli stared at his hand hovering near hers, like it was daring her to close the gap. The things he said sat heavier than the plates on their table, pressing at her chest in a way that made it hard to breathe. But at least they were working through it.

She blew out a slow breath, forcing herself to meet his eyes. They were steady. A lot more steady now than they had been three years ago, when he wasn't sure what route or path he wanted to take to begin with.

"I don't need shortcuts either," she said quietly, but there was no hesitation in her voice. "I don't need big speeches or perfect promises. Just… be honest with me. If something feels wrong, say it. If you're scared, say it. Don't make me guess."

Her hand shifted closer until her knuckles brushed his. Not a full hold, not yet, but enough. A step.

"And we both need time. We can't act like the last three years didn't happen. I'm still figuring out where I fit in all this."

A ghost of a smile curved her lips, breaking the tightness in her chest.

"I think what you said for now is solid. We can always come back to things later. And you are right. The Aurora isn't the Subversion…" referencing the SIS ship they'd been assigned to before.

And she didn't want to mention the Veree. Not yet.

That she was still working through.

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

TREXTAN

Trextan let the silence stretch after her words, letting them settle into him. She had asked for honesty. She didn't want shortcuts that would inevitably creation something that collapsed on shaking foundations. She would have been in his bunk come morning and there would have been chaos.

This felt calm. He felt it steady something deep inside his chest.

She always had a way of cutting to the point of the matter. Relationships weren't built on grand gestures and speeches. In truth, Trextan didn't have that many frames of references. His home had been broken. His step father had died before he could grow up and understand what had happened between them all.

He nodded once, slow, and the corner of his mouth tugged into the faintest of smiles to mirror hers.

“Alright,” he said, voice quiet but firm. “No guessing. No shortcuts.”

He leaned back in his chair, exhaling softly. He was glad they'd gotten this far. He spoke with more warmth and with a more relaxed tone.

“I still don't always speak my mind well so I'll need patience sometimes.” He tilted his head toward the water outside. “Lets just spend some time together."

His thumb brushed across her fingers and then he reached for his fork again, deliberately easing the weight of the moment.

“A boat ride with spare life jackets," he said with a grin. That would always be familiar to her. "Or just a walk."

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

Choli finished the last bite of her scramble, dragging her fork through the smear of hot sauce like it might buy her another moment before answering. Truth was, the heaviness of their talk had left her both steadier and off-balance at the same time, like pulling a ship out of hyperspace and finding yourself exactly where you meant to be, but still blinking against the sudden stillness.

Still, spending time together, getting to know each other again and figure out the quirks and the kinks was good. Boundries were good.

At least that was what Choli was telling herself, doing her best to shove the images and sensation from last night from settling in and tempting her any further.

She set her fork down and reached for her mug, draining the last of her caf before leaning back in her chair. Her gaze flicked to the river, the boats drifting lazy with the current. Not her kind of vessel. No engines to tune, no navicomp to argue with, no hull rattling when you punched atmosphere.

"Spare life jackets, huh?" Her lips tugged into a crooked grin, and a laugh slipped out before she could stop it.

"Guess I can try it. Don't expect me to love it, though. Only boat I've ever trusted is the kind that breaks orbit."

She shook her head, soft amusement in her tone as she pushed her plate aside.

"But… yeah. I'll give it a shot. Trying new things, right?"

Her eyes flicked back to him, catching his grin with the faintest spark of her own.

"So, what other new things have you've tried then?"

 

[Trextan Voidstalker]

TREXTAN

Trextan raised an eyebrow. He held her gaze and for a heartbeat too long Choli had cracked a few jokes but that had been before the band. She wasn't asking a pointed question, but it set his mind down a path.

He could still hear her starting to lose her breath in the alley. They'd set these boundaries and now all he could imagine was breaking them and all the new things they could have done.

He let himself imagine what it would mean to cross that distance fully. To be with her, skin to skin, not in the fumbling, half-drunk rush of youth but in something deliberate, chosen. He pictured the way her breath would catch, the way her eyes would lock on his, refusing to look away even in that most vulnerable of moments.

Not just passion - though that heat threatened to consume him - but the intimacy of trust. Of her letting him in of them moving in rhythm rather than tripping as they had before. The thought of holding her, of being held in return, made his chest tighten with something more than hunger. It was need, but it was also yearning for belonging.

It made his pulse accelerate, even as if affirmed the decisions they'd made at this table. Once they were settled and they made the decision, giving in to temptation wouldn't bring guilt.

He blinked, forcing himself back to the present.

"Piloting and not crashing when I try to land, that's new," Trextan said. "Good thing about this kind of boat is that if it crashes I can help you swim. Can't help you breathe in Space."

He decided to abandon the last bit of food rather than draw attention to his thoughts drifting off.

"I don't know how to row a boat. Can't be that hard," he said. "I can get lunch," he added, drawing a few credit chits from his pocket.

 

[Choli Vyn]

Interacting with: Trextan Voidstalker
Armor- x x x x x | Gear x x x x x x x | Weapons x x x x x

Choli wrapped her hands around her caf mug once more, taking another sip as she observed Trextan, only to perk a brow as he seemed to have mentally checked out.

As an epicanthix and because she wasn't that powerful in the Force, Choli had to rely on the standard clues and cues that went beyond a person's expression and words. And this one, well, the way his jaw tensed and his eyes seemed to drift over her... made Choli muse on what exactly his mind was at.

Her brows furrowed and she gave an arch of her brow, but before she could ask, he snapped out of his reverie and answered her question.

"I am glad to hear that your piloting has improved to the point that you are not crash landing," she replied with a smirk.

After a second, she finished her caf and then set down the required credit chip for the meal.

"Thanks," she called out to the waitress, then gave a slight nod to Trextan.

"Alright then. Let's see how well you row."