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Auction Bazaar of Calamitous Curios



"Ladies and gentlebeings, we are proud to bring a selection of specialised weaponry for this violent age we find ourselves in. Bidding will last for three hours starting now - remember, fortune favours the well-equipped."

Topping a magnificent cloudcutter in one of Denon's wealthiest districts, the penthouse made for a stately, if unusual, site of commerce. No auctions had been held here previously and no auctions would be held again - despite the acute illegality of some of the wares on sale, CorpSec had been convinced to look the other way by a 'charitable donation'.

No amount of bribery could keep such an establishment open for long, however - not in plain sight.

A variety of beings had arrived to participate, ranging from Corpo oligarchs looking for a souvenir to battle-scarred warriors in search of an edge. In one corner a man in Sith regalia looked ready to strangle a Jedi counterpart.

Refreshments were served by a number of completely identical 'middle-aged human men' in neat suits.


As with last time, no permission is required to join - please don't blow the place up, however. While it's technically invite-only ICly, Greystone works in mysterious ways. Even an unwashed vagrant could find himself invited.

You can bid whatever you want - UCs, submissions, favours, unsubbed stuff made up on the spot, the sky's the limit. I pick whatever I prefer for each lot; I reserve the right to blatantly favour people who want to do fun stuff with the item.

Roleplaying is optional, but I am more likely to pick bids that aren't just - yawn - [X] credits.

The auction will run until May 15th or until people get bored. Whichever comes first.


LOT ONE - Furthestkiller.

  • Auctioneer's Note: A sniper rifle like no other, this marvel of technology can take out targets from hundreds of kilometres away. In the hands of a sufficiently skilled user, anyway. Use responsibly.
  • Current Bids:
    • Thayne Tameron Thayne Tameron - One Assassination. / 'Quite the violent clientele today. Not all that surprising, really.'
    • Iella Sunscream Iella Sunscream - 23.8k Credits. / 'I almost expeted another assassination offer.'
LOT TWO - Marrowfang.
  • Auctioneer's Note: This accursed blade drains the life of its victims to empower the wielder; even the smallest nick spreads pestilent death, so be careful where you swing it. Should not be wielded by the weak-willed.
  • Current Bids: ---
LOT THREE - Big Bigby.
  • Auctioneer's Note: Infinite ammunition and terrifying firepower, what's not to love? Big Bigby may not be elegant, but it is brutally effective at dealing death - and just as importantly, completely unique!
  • Current Bids:
    • Hex Hex - A surprise party to die for, for a group of the seller's choosing. / 'Confetti included? What a deal!'
LOT FOUR - A Beast of the Chain.
  • Auctioneer's Note: 'Whosoever holds the Leash, holds the Beast's allegiance'. This, ladies and gentlebeings, is a one of a kind opportunity to procure the best bodyguard money can't buy - the perfect killer!
  • Current Bids:
LOT FIVE - The Gutless Mongrel.
  • Auctioneer's Note: Just recently, this unique vessel plagued the hyperlanes under various pirates - perhaps it can do more good under your command, or would you rather dissect it for its exotic systems?
  • Current Bids:
LOT SIX - The Bidder's Choice.
  • Auctioneer's Note: Artificers on retainer will create the weapon of your dreams. Your bid, your choice.
    • OOC: I'll make one weapon for you - doesn't need to be a Ranged/Melee weapon, doesn't need to be Unique. Your call. Feel free to argue the definition of a weapon, if you like. I reserve the right to blatantly favour bids with cool concepts attached, but ideas don't need to be presented up front.
  • Current Bids:
    • TC-CS-4820 TC-CS-4820 - One Covert Operation. / 'Another one? Excellent, I do like utilising independent assets.'
P.S. Invitations come with falsified papers if that's necessary due to 'bureaucratic challenges' like being a war criminal.
P.S.S. No one 'bid' any bad poetry last time, despite my urging. Do better.
Previous Auction - Wondrous Obscurities
Art Credit - Auction by
2SKOLL Visual
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Well... I'm Rich.
Iella was only here for one item, doubting anyone would be interested in it as it stood. Though, here she was. It had started as a weird invitation that she still received from her mother's old auction link, but reading up on the Furthest killer, a very odd name for a weapon, though probably well deserved; maybe that held some merit. It should've been noted had she known she was going to be flat broke in about four months she wouldn't be here ready to blow credits on some rifle. Though, it took money, to make money. It was a custom weapon, with application that could've been absolutely destructive.

She was dressed in a particular casual assortment today, so much so that the parts of her that made her clearly cybernetic were visible if one could manage to see past the mass of hair that hung at the back of her head. Her clothing was simple, but taut, giving her a polished look. A single chain hung around her neck, belying the girl's potential, and making her look like someone that was particularly... Average, in the grand scale of things. One of the only real defining factors of her presence today was the fact that she seemed ready to eat these people out of business.

That said, she was ready to place her bids on the rifle and get outta' there; the more food they brought, the more she would eat it. At this point of course, having picked up everything in the room, but not yet making a bid for the rifle. She had after all studied the art of buying from Auction Houses before coming. You never let others know what you were willing to part with immediately. So, for now she ate, and engaged in light social chatter with anyone who seemed interested, though would never actually disclose what item in particular she was there for.

Kal Kal
Major Faction


Powder keg

Tag: Kal Kal

Poor Hex hears voices in her head

Hex speech to others
Hex speech to herself

Hexes inner voices

Coloured '.....' are also words that Hex can hear , but I decided not to write them to reduce clutter

The blue haired girl lay on her bed reading a magazine she had swiped from a concession stand in the street, lots of beautiful images, she stroked them lovinging turned the light down a little for the mood.

' could never have that, its far too beautiful...'

Hex shrugged her shoulders and sighed as she pulled her dervish blade out and slid the blade along the spine to remove the page, before pulling the gum out of her mouth and sticking it to the back of the glossy paper. She looked at the man in the image and jusy wondered how he felt about what he had on display? Big Bigby was certainly the right name. She sighed again longingly and stuck the picture to the wall beside her bed, giving it one last look before drifting off into a restless sleep, filled with dreams of her enjoying the feel of that beautiful creature in the image that now watched over her slumber. She grinned as she slept, just imagining what the two of them might do for a first date.


The next day was the day of the auction, Hex wasn't invited, but she had friends now, friends that could change a few details on the invite database and get her in. She knew what she was bidding for and what she was bidding with. She walked around and admired the rich and powerful, she had even worn the smart armour that Daiya Daiya had lent her, to make sure she at least looked the part.

''ll never convince them...'
"Kark off, I need that weapon"

She strolled in and placed her bid, she would host a party for a guestlist of the sellers choice, enough party poppers and confetti to entertain a half dozen or so chosen guests and give them a party that will never again be matched, not for them anyway.

Hex would like to bid on Big Bigby and is willing to do a group assassination attempt in the guise of a business party on behalf of the seller. - party popper and confetti in equipment list

Saurton Warmaster



One might ask why the saurton would come back to this planet after attempting to assassinate, Valery Noble within a local cantina. He just so happened to come across an "invitation" to this event that was flowing in the wind perse. In other words he simply ate the person with the invite and stole their entry permit. His form walked into the penthouse location. His large size no doubt made it difficult to move around the various patrons but he somehow managed.

His form was technically naked but his scales counted as some form of clothing...right? In any event the saurton mercenary and bounty hunter moved forward, gazing his eyes through the crowd for anyone of interest. Beyond that he had managed to look at the catalog for the auction and was particularly interested in the Gutless Mongrel. A powerful starship that could act like his mobile headquarters away from his primary one at Mancharakorkon. Others would no doubt be interested in this starship as well. So he would just have to be the one with the highest bid.

He doubted anyone would approach him, well known for being a cannibalistic killer. However that served to his advantage overall as no one would know what exactly he was bidding on at the event. Karkosuchus walked forward with vigor to the person doing the bidding collection. He had recently come across another starship called the The Gargantuan and was willing to part ways with it for the other vessel.

Karkosuchus is willing to exchange the Gargantuan for the Gutless Mongrel.

Inanna had been absent from the galaxy for twelve years, which allowed for a certain degree of anonymity. Yet somehow she had received an invitation to this mysterious auction, run by a company she had never heard of, on a planet she had never visited.

If it weren't for the fact that she'd checked her old hidden weapons cache on Dromund Kaas only to find that it had been broken into and picked clean, she might not have even bothered to show up. But she needed a weapon. Or two. Or three. So she figured, hey, why not? She'd been invited, after all.

So far the selections didn't look very promising. They had several guns, but Inanna was more of a melee type of gal. There was only one sword up for bids, and it had the added disclaimer of requiring a strong mind to wield it. Inanna knew she didn't have a strong mind. Several people she had encountered over the years had made sure she knew it.

So that left either bidding on the starship (which she didn't need), a nightmarish bodyguard, or trying to convince the artificers to build her a custom weapon. She studied the bodyguards more closely, pressing her lips together upon learning the names of their different "races".

"Did you name these Dreamwalkers after the Benandanti?" she asked, her tone surprisingly mild. She didn't know whether to be flattered or offended.

Cais ned'jin, what did it matter? Be glad some aspects of Shi'ido culture were still relevant in the wake of their genocide. If the naming was an intentional reference, that is. Something told her it really wasn't, and these Greystone Mercantile people just thought it sounded cool.

"Here's a bid for Lot 4." She laid a unique pistol down, then tapped her lower lip. "Is it true my chances will be improved if I submit bad poetry as part of my bid?"

She'd heard that somewhere. Don't remember where. Remember, she was a novelist for those twelve years. Not a poet, but close enough.

Forgive But Never Forget


Tags: Kal Kal ; Open
Location: Denon
Soundtrack: Deus Ex
Thayne cracked his neck as he stepped off the elevator and into the hall. If it weren’t for the sole item on his shopping list, he’d likely have shown up armed to the teeth in his signature combat armor; Instead, he walked down the hall toward the penthouse wearing a custom tailored suit. The only bit of visible equipment he kept was his eyepiece, though a clever vibroblade was tucked into his boot.

He approached the doormen and flashed a holocard depicting his pseudonym, ‘Archangel.’

"I’m on the list," he said in an even tone.

The guards glanced over the card for a moment, nodding him in after verifying his identity.

The penthouse had been lined wall to wall with shiny gadgets and weapons, all of them being ogled by beings of various species and backgrounds. Thayne recognized several CorpSec oligarchs, hands clenched around champagne glasses as they mingled with the criminals who bribed them into permitting the auction in the first place. The irony was delicious.

He grabbed a glass from a tray as a waiter passed by, took a sip of the carbonated alcohol, and made his way deeper into the chamber. He returned the occasional smile, gave a friendly nod, but otherwise avoided conversation. Despite the good manners and shared anecdotes, few of these people were actually friends. None of them were Thayne’s friend, certainly.

"It’s a pit of vipers," he muttered, smiling through gritted teeth as an aristocratic Hutt slithered by on its way to inspect the blade resting in Lot Two.

Thayne dropped the smile and shook his head as the slug-like beast passed him. Refocusing on the reason he’d came to the auction, Thayne scanned the room until he found Lot 1. There, resting upon a white marble pedestal, was the item he’d come for: Furthestkiller.

He wasn’t one for ornamental pieces, but Furthestkiller was an exception he was willing to make. It was a one-of-a-kind rifle built for maximum damage. It had its drawbacks, as outlined in the docket he’d received over Tatt-Chat - small magazine, lengthy reload time - but they were of little detriment to Thayne; He never missed his mark.

He glanced about the penthouse until he spotted Kal Kal , the auction’s mysterious host and benefactor. Thayne downed the last sip of champagne, leaving the empty glass on the tray of a passing waitress as he closed the distance between them. He stood confidently before the host, a roguish smile on his face.

"Master Kal, I hope you’re well this evening," Thayne began warmly.

"This is quite the event, and you’re offering a beautiful assortment of toys. I’d like to bid on Lot 1, and I’m willing to offer my services in exchange for it."

Thayne smiled devilishly.

"I’ll carry out a hit for you. Just give me the name."

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"So the rumours go." Kal was clad in a handsome young man with monocoloured eyes blacker than ink, his form in turn clad in a pitch black suit that stood in stark contrast to its bone white hair. Not exactly trying to be subtle, for once. "My associates and I certainly appreciate the unusual. Why else bother with these auctions, after all?"

Not for the money, certainly. Insider trading and the like was far more profitable.

"... and no, they are not named after that clan. The names are mere descriptors; useful for the non-telepathic." Kal and his kin had their own 'names' for the creatures, but they did not quite fit into verbal communication.

"How novel. We shall see if my associates are in need of problem solving."

Kal himself was averse to murder as a tool, but the same could not be said for all of his peers - he had not offered the weapon for sale and so had no right to deny an offer, even a distasteful one. Hell, it was not even the first such offer today, though the madwoman's offer was at least moderately veiled. Not that it fooled anyone.

This was turning out to be an interesting evening indeed.

Well... I'm Rich.
She had been relatively minding her own business for some time now, happy no one seemed to take interest in the item she wanted. It was better she played the waiting game instead of just going all in. Given, she had noted her funds were starting to dip in an unfavorable manner, though didn't realize soon she was going to be coming fully out of pocket soon. Things were going swell... Right up until she spotted one individual walk in. With the open access to the holonet, she could get a general idea of the people around her. Though this individual; Thayne Tameron Thayne Tameron stuck out. Badly... New Jedi Order formerly, Heavens knew what they did currently.

Well, actually that answer was coming along shortly. Iella sipped at the cup of water she was given, tongue plucking as bits of food still struck between her teeth as she watched them move. If she were to judge by his movements, and the way his eyes shifted towards lot one, she would immediately be concerned, but still, wouldn't say a thing; only observe.

"Master Kal, I hope you’re well this evening," Thayne began warmly.

'Oh don't...' she thought, resting down her water and taking a few precursory steps towards the pair, not in obvious sight, but clearly observing the lot item with interest. In reality, just making sure she could hear their discourse properly. What? A little eavesdropping never hurt an-... Well, a little eavesdropping wouldn't hurt anyone today...

"This is quite the event, and you’re offering a beautiful assortment of toys. I’d like to bid on Lot 1, and I’m willing to offer my services in exchange for it."

Thayne smiled devilishly.

"I’ll carry out a hit for you. Just give me the name."

Jedi turned hitman. They did that. Could they do that? Iella's face scrunched up as she thought about it, basically glaring at the rifle in front of her though in actuality her mind was solely focused on the pair's conversation. So, the bid was relatively free, but carried with it a certain weight she wasn't sure she wanted to take at the moment. She had after all already noted how extreme people could get when you gave them 'blank checks' of the killing variety.

Beyond that, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to cross some ex-Jedi for something they wanted. She had never fought one before, but the reputation, without saying, preceded them. Space Magicians that some say could quite literally see the future, shoot lightning from their fingertips, and crush people with a thought. She could feel the Force but had spent most her days trying to find a way that she wouldn't... Better yet, couldn't. Some considered it a gift, but to her it was an odd, and unnatural connection. She liked her life before it was a thing.

"How novel. We shall see if my associates are in need of problem solving."

The bid was taken, but the auctioneer didn't need anything like that himself, and would outsource the offer. Good, but also, she was now against the clock. A bid was on the table, and if the auction closed now, it would go to this Jedi, or... Whatever he called himself nowadays. That simply wouldn't do.

She turned away from them, walking towards another pylon as if to examine the other bids (Lot ll specifically), though would actually send a quick note 'mentally' to the auctions bidding network. As follows:

'Lot 1 Bid. 23.8k Cred Iella S.'

She continued walking, exhaling lightly. Somehow, she felt like the credits wouldn't match the actual offer of unaliving someone, but she needed to put something up there at least. Depending on how things evolved, she would adapt. All said, she just wasn't too ready to be anyone's killer for no good reason again. Something about it just... Didn't sit well.

Kal Kal Thayne Tameron Thayne Tameron
Forgive But Never Forget


Tags: Kal Kal ; Iella Sunscream Iella Sunscream
Location: Denon
Soundtrack: Deus Ex
"How novel. We shall see if my associates are in need of problem solving."

Thayne gingerly grinned at the white-haired Shadow before him. He’d certainly known who Kal Kal was, but this was the first time he’d seen the enigmatic auctioneer in the flesh. It was flesh, right?

”I eagerly await your associates’ request. There’s very few problems a skilled marksman can’t solve. And even fewer with a lightsaber,” Thayne said in a hushed tone.

It wasn’t any secret that he’d once been a member of the New Jedi Order. His face was plastered across the Holonet for months after he’d fled to Dromund Kass to save his parents. Or try to, anyway. He’d been vilified in the Core. But announcing to a room full of wealthy miscreants that you tote around a Jedi’s lightsaber can attract unwanted attention.

Thayne turned on his heels, and spotted near Lot Two a woman he’d not met before: Iella Sunscream Iella Sunscream . He raised two fingers in the air, and a tuxedo-clad waiter stepped quickly to oblige him with two glasses of champagne. Thayne took one in each hand and walked across the gallery to Iella, trying to keep up without startling her.

”Good evening,” he said when he was a few meters away.

“Care for a drink?” he offered, holding the champagne out for her to take.

He flashed her the same devilish smile.

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"So the rumors go. My associates and I certainly appreciate the unusual. Why else bother with these auctions, after all?... and no, they are not named after that clan. The names are mere descriptors; useful for the non-telepathic."

"Mm. At least you picked a good one. I've heard some stupid names in my time, especially for things that are supposed to sound cool." She blamed it on a lack of originality, or simple thoughtlessness and apathy. After all, what's in a name?

On to the bad poetry. "There once was a... dog named Spot, who ran around quite a lot. He knocked over a pot, which held something hot, and... aw, that's too good for you. Darn." She stroked her chin. "Wherever you go, always remember that you're there. If it weren't so, then you'd be right here... Argh! Why can't I be a bad writer for once?...."

Perhaps Kal and his cohorts would disagree.

Kal Kal


TC-CS-4820 currently wandered around the mingling crowd within the penthouse, his disguise for the day being a pristine SE8 waiter droid. His optics has revealed most of the objects within the auction blocks to be not of his taste... but the promise of a custom weapon or the Big Bigby would be rather complimentary to his arsenal. Inside his metallic skull he mulled over what little he could offer, but all in all he had come to a decision he had to only have one. The budget was tight... but he could make do with a custom weapon. His form silently walked towards the sixth lot, or atleast where it would be, and stared his disguises eyeless head down at it a moment. His form then glided over to the host, each step silent on the ground.
"Lot number six has my interest. I may preform any sort of covert action need be, wether it is gathering intelligence, an assassination, sabotage, or collecting a target. All I require is a heavy blaster pistol squad support weapon while being able to fit into one of my thigh compartments. I have seen your other lots and know you have the talent for it." His vocator in this form soft, polite, yet still with a hint of synthetic tinge and an intelligence a droid like this should not have if it were a stock model.
Well... I'm Rich.
Talk about tunnel vision, as she walked over to the next lot item, she realized she hadn't actually bothered to show any interest to the other lots. If she was truly going to cut her losses on Lot 1, Lot 6 was a good runner up. In fact, in many aspects it may even be better than what she wanted initially. Custom weapons were hard to find. Even harder to have built for you personally when you had very much inhuman grip strength. Iella thought about a good number of things as she slowly sauntered past Lot two, looking at it with dull interest... YEah, if she was going to unalive someone, she preferred to do it the (relatively) old fashioned way.

”Good evening,”

The voice, the decibel, and the direction all gave her the strong impression he was talking to her, but she would ignorantly take a few steps before glancing over shoulder, a little smirk of her own developing before turning partly and innocently clasping her hands behind her back.

"Good evening"

She said easily prepared to pretend like she hadn't just tried to undercut the heck outta' his bid. So long as her Force kept it self to herself, and his kept it to himself, this should have been a breeze.

“Care for a drink?” he offered, holding the champagne out for her to take.

He flashed her the same devilish smile.

Tall with a smile like that spelt trouble, and not the kind she was about to let herself get into... A glass of champagne couldn't hurt though right? All she had to do was pretend to like it. She would've preferred something that hit a little harder. Reaching out with a right hand, she gently took the glass, holding it with the prim and proper of an elite, although there was a lazy manner in which it was done, as if she had done it so much that she had lost any reason to show care in it.

"I'll have a sip... Iella, nice to meet you..."

She pretended to not know his name, after all, it was better to not let people know you spied on them for various, and obvious reasons.

Thayne Tameron Thayne Tameron