Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Starship The Ithilien Empress

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I T H I L I E N
E M P R E S S
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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: To create a unique starship as a gift.
  • Image Source: x
  • Canon Link: N/A
  • Permissions: N/A
  • Primary Source: N/A
PRODUCTION INFORMATION
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
STANDARD FEATURES
ADVANCED SYSTEMS
STRENGTHS
  • Dragonfury: The Ithilien Empress is not subpar in a single category. Its speed and maneuverability are exemplary, as well as its defenses, and its average offenses are boosted by the rest of these statistics. Its armament is more than enough to take on other starfighters, and the heavy proton torpedos held by the ship allow it to pack surprising power against large capital ships.
  • Dark Side of the Moon: The Ithilien Empress features a variety of stealth technology, most prominently the MXC-T22 Oberyn Stealth Shroud and the MXC-T26 Yggdrasil Cloaking Device which work simultaneously to give the ship the capability to potentially cloak it from detection when it is desired.
  • Power Generation: Entirely powered by an RGT-BH5 Erebus Particle Collider, it is estimated that the Ithilien Empress could travel burning fuel in the least efficient way continuously for a decade before needing to refuel.
WEAKNESSES
  • Large Profile: The Ithilien Empress has a slightly larger ship profile than most standard interceptors, meaning it's easier to target and hit purely because of its physical size.
  • Squadron Count: The Ithilien Empress is a single ship and makes for a poor hangar complement.
DESCRIPTION
Hey, Sister. It's me, again, your favorite admirer.

I got this beauty from a little slicing excursion into some Mandalorian databases. Apparently, they'd been hiding away this gorgeous hull-pattern for a while -- from what I could deduce it was something of an antique -- but I was able to get enough information downloaded to put it to work. Thought you'd appreciate that little bit of Trivia, seeing as how your Master used to wear one of those shiny helmets. Anyway, its history isn't so much important as the tricks that I've outfitted this baby with.

First of all, this is probably the sweetest ride in the galaxy, and I have to admit; I'm a tad jealous to see it go. But a lovely lady like you deserves a ship as fine as yourself. And the Ithilien Empress is quite the fine ship. She'll rival pretty much any interceptor when it comes to speed and maneuverability, the size of her notwithstanding. And a hyperdrive that fast will get you halfway across the galaxy before you can finish feeding your Ivalian Protodragon.

It's not the roomiest of ships -- I hear you have some yachts to fill that category -- but if you ever want to take an excursion alone, or maybe travel to someplace unknown, or even descend into battle and blow some things up, the Ithilien Empress is your girl. She has laser cannons that will be more than adequate in taking down fighters who want t' shoot you outta the sky, and the heavy proton torpedos are going to be quite the little surprise to have in store for any capital ship that dare stand in your way. She can also full-burn continuously for a decade before she runs out of fuel, courtesy of the prototype particle generator at her core. Just don't, ah, dial up the generator, or you might find yourself in a gravitational singularity. But I'm sure there's a warning sticker on there somewhere.

Oh, and did I mention the stealth tech on this thing? Safe to say, if you want to stay unseen, you will be. Ain't no one got the tech to stop you. You could blow up half of the galaxy and no one would ever know that this ship even existed. I gotta be going now, but I hope this ship reaches you in the best of condition, along with your other, ah, gifts. All I gotta say is that, like you, this one is a real beauty.


 
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You may want to double-check this link.

  • Dark Side of the Moon: The Ithilien Empress features a variety of stealth technology, most prominently the MXC-T22 Oberyn Stealth Shroud and the MXC-T26 Yggdrasil Cloaking Device which work simultaneously to completely shield the ship from detection when it is desired.

It's pretty clear that this is going to be a fairly stealthy ship, but the Factory does not approve submissions that are explicitly invulnerable/immune/100% effective in some aspect regardless of the circumstances or future tech advancements. If you'll omit "completely" here, we'll be good to go.
 
The Nomad The Nomad , we can still knock this out - it's just that the Factory won't be taking any more new submissions. :)

This still seems to be there: though
  • Dark Side of the Moon: The Ithilien Empress features a variety of stealth technology, most prominently the MXC-T22 Oberyn Stealth Shroud and the MXC-T26 Yggdrasil Cloaking Device which work simultaneously to give the ship the capability to cloak it completely from detection when it is desired.
 
The Nomad The Nomad

  • Dark Side of the Moon: The Ithilien Empress features a variety of stealth technology, most prominently the MXC-T22 Oberyn Stealth Shroud and the MXC-T26 Yggdrasil Cloaking Device which work simultaneously to give the ship the capability to cloak it near-completely from detection when it is desired.

It's pretty clear that this is going to be a very stealthy ship, but this wording is really borderline on what's acceptable for writing in a factory sub. I'm disappointed because I know we've had this basic talk before - focus on methods of operations when you write submissions- do not write about absolute end results: you need to give your opponents room to work with because of different situations and possible future advancements in technology/factory submissions.

"Near-completely" as a wording choice that again focuses highly on dictating an end result, which apparently is very slim chance that this could be detected. This isn't acceptable because for practical purposes it's near indistinguishable from complete invisibility. The easiest solution would be to simply remove "near-completely from detection" as there is already a general implication within the Star Wars universe that a cloaked ship is going to be difficult to find or detect. If you want to write it a different way, that's fine too, but again, focus on methods or intents rather than dictating end results.

Both of those things have been edited/fixed.

This may just be careless coincidence, but this isn't the first time you've stated to me that you have made edits to me that haven't actually occurred. Please be much more mindful of this, as if this continues to happen, you could get a Factory Ban for attempting to deceive Factory Staff.
 
I’m not trying to deceive anyon, I’m hoenssly trying to make edits. If what I edit still isn’t confirming to what you desire I’m happy to change it further. I feel like the waving of a Factory Ban is a little uncalled for.

That being said, I’ve changed the wording again. Does it now refrain from being an absolute?
 
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