Submission Modifications

[Enyo Typhos]

Submission Name: Lebensbringer
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Change Availability.
Reason for Modification: Reassessed unit since submission. This unit is intended to be a standard infantry unit for Archangel, so a higher Availability level fits the intent better. All the gear utilised by them has Mass or Minor production. Deployment level stays the same.
Modification:


In Availability replace this:

• Availability: Rare

with this:

• Availability: Uncommon

 

[Srina Talon]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"] In regards to "The Order of Fire Silencers" - Where in "Strengths and Weaknesses" did you want this "Their skill at Force Concealment also allows them to conceal their Force presence." to be? Perhaps let me know which paragraph? This line "In addition to their aforementioned specialisation, they are also proficient in concealing their Force auras, which allows them to pass as common Force blind." is in the second paragraph, pretty similar, and I didn't want it to sound too confusing. Please feel free to let me know and poke me with a tag here and I'll fix it up promptly. All other changes were made.

[member="Enyo Typhos"] Edits to "Darth Libertas" and "Lebensbringer" have been completed.

[member="Karrigan'Xalda"] Edits to "Quas'Ziru" have been completed.

[member="Kaida Taldir"] Edits to "Obsidian Wardens" have been completed.

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Srina Talon"]


Good point! That slipped my mind. Sorry for the confusion and my poor phrasing. Thanks for doing all the submods. Way the Wookieepedia Force Stealth/Concealment article phrases it, passing as Force blind and keeping an FU from plain detecting your presence are different variations of the same power. Presumably either can be overcome though with enough skill/training/experience.


Maybe add this after the line 'This can cause hostile Force Sensitives to dismiss them as 'mere mundane grunts':


Alternately this skill can allow them to conceal their Force presence from other Force-Users entirely. Someone very experienced with such techniques could notice something is off though.


Regarding the Lebensbringer submission (I'm Enyo's writer, putting this in the same post for simplicity's sake), seems you may have accidentally changed Deployment rather than Availability (if there are issues with the submod I'm OK with discussing them).


Presently the sub says:

• Availability: Rare
• Deployment: Uncommon

​

It should be:

Availability: Uncommon
Deployment: Minor

 

[Srina Talon]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"] Happy to do them

In regards to "Lebensbringer" I apologize, there were no issues as I found your reasoning acceptable, I just edited the wrong line by mistake. The site was giving me a bit of trouble and I ended up having to "refresh" and start over. Please look it over for me when you have a moment and let me know if that is now correct. Sorry again!

In regards to "Order of Fire Silencers" no worries at all! I know that there are subtle differences between those abilities but I just wanted to make sure I was placing it somewhere that they wouldn't be crossed or read strangely. Your submissions are always detailed/well written and more than anything I was afraid to break the flow haha.

I added "Alternately this skill can allow them to conceal their Force presence from other Force-Users entirely. Someone very experienced with such techniques could notice something is off though." where you mentioned and I think that reads nicely.

Please let me know if you need anything else or if there was anything I overlooked. Thank you for working with me!

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Submission Name: Endelaan
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/134184-endelaan/
Summary of Modification: Some minor edits
Reason for Modification: We made a minor faction for characters from this planet, and I spotted an error that I had initially written in that should not be there.
Modification:

Under "Links:

• Please add The Dark Spring Kingdom

Under "Affiliation"

• Please add The Dark Spring Kingdom

Under "Military"

• Please change this:
  "The Circle of Seers are selected by the Queen. In the event a Warrior Queen and Sorcerer King rule, the King's Own is referred to as the Queen's Own, and the King selects the Circle of Seers."
  Into this:
  "The Ravens are selected by the Queen. In the event a Warrior Queen and Sorcerer King rule, the King's Own is referred to as the Queen's Own, and the King selects the Ravens."

Thank you ♥

 

[Srina Talon]

[member="Scherezade deWinter"] "Endelaan" has been updated accordingly, however, since the submission is now affiliated with the Dark Spring Kingdom would you want me to remove Independent from the Affiliation section?

Please let me know.

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

[member="Srina Talon"] Oh, I hadn't thought about that. Yes please!

 

[Srina Talon]

[member="Scherezade deWinter"] It has been adjusted. Thank you!

 

[Darth Carnifex]

Submission Name: The Blackblade Guard
Link to Submission: Click
Summary of Modification: Adding a new grenade
Reason for Modification: Subbed a grenade specifically for the Blackblades, gotta add it to their equipment
Modification:

Add the Nereus' Breath Incendiary Grenade to the Blackblade's equipment under Grenades

 

[Srina Talon]

[member="Darth Carnifex"] The "The Blackblade Guard" has been updated. Enjoy!

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

Submission Name: Cataphracts of the Ascending Phoenix
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update Equipment.
Reason for Modification: Got new stuff.
Modification:


In Equipment, add:

• ACS-208 Wrist Ion Beamer (storefront request here, permission here), ACS-208 Wrist Tensor (storefront request here, permission here).
• Under-Barrel Sonic Blaster (purchase request here, approved here).
• ACS-205 Blackblade Modular Rifle (storefront request here, permission here).
• Portable Shattergun Rotary Cannon.
• Paragon-class Personal Energy Shield (request here, permission here)
• Sky-Strike Jetpack (purchase request here, permission here).
• Electro Cestus (Firemane has access to ARGH gear per this thread).

 

[Vaena Askari]

Submission Name: Draconian Guard
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update equipment.
Reason for Modification: Giving them armour that's more suitable for a royal guard unit. Removing superfluous gear. Add some new gear. All the ArmaTech gear was acquired through marketplace purchase (purchase requests here, permission here).
Modification:

In Equipment, Armour, replace this:

• Sentinel Battle Armour

with this:

• 
  They wear armor similar in construction to Imperial Knight Armour of the Fel Empire for protection, complete with a helmet to protect them from chemicals. The helm features a voice modulator, HUD and other standard systems.
  

In Equipment, Armour remove:

• Light shield
• Personal energy shield

In Equipment, Guns, add:

• ACS-202 Vanquisher Light Repeating Blasterhttp://starwarsrp.net/topic/55311-acs-202-vanquisher-light-repeating-blaster/
• ACS-205 Blackblade Modular Rifle

In Equipment, Melee Weapons, add:

• Cortosis Staff

In Equipment, Add:

Misc:

• Ghostwave communicators.
• ACS-207 Aerosolblasterhttp://starwarsrp.net/topic/70262-acs-207-aerosolblaster/
• ACS-208 Wrist Charrichttp://starwarsrp.net/topic/67449-acs-208-wrist-charric/
• ACS-208 Wrist Ion Beamerhttp://starwarsrp.net/topic/68779-acs-208-wrist-ion-beamer/

 

[Kaida Taldir]

Submission Name: Champions of Azyr.
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update Equipment. Edits in Deployment, Strengths and Weaknesses.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit a bit. Reassessed unit a bit, as they are intended to be a single unit of specialists. ICly the Shadow Knights are able to recruit in greater numbers due to the exodus from Tygara. They also have a company now, which helps with funding and thus training them better.
Modification:


In Equipment, add:

• RL-40 stun net launcher

In Deployment, replace this:

• Deployment: Limited

with this:

• Deployment: Minor

In Strengths and Weaknesses:

replace this:

The unit is composed mostly of Knights and some Apprentices.

with this:

The unit is composed of Knights.

 

[Srina Talon]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"] "Cataphracts of the Ascending Phoenix" has been updated.

[member="Vaena Askari"] "Draconian Guard" has been updated.

[member="Kaida Taldir"] "Champions of Azyr" has been updated.

Thank you for all the storefront purchase links! That made things nice and easy. As always, if I made any silly snafoo's or missed anything please tag me and let me know. Otherwise please enjoy!

 

[Richard Von]

Submission Name: Uiscephlean
Link to submission: Uiscephlean
Reason for Modification: To update species list of a planet.
Modification:

Uiscephians are a species I created and wish to add them to a planet I created as well. - Uiscephians

 

[Srina Talon]

[member="Richard Von"] "Uiscephlean" has been updated. Have fun!

 

[Kaida Taldir]

Submission Name: Caerith Tyrai
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Edits in Deployment/Availability. Update in Historical Information
Reason for Modification: Reassessed unit in the light of submissions I've made since then and IC development. The Caerith Tyrai are skilled Force soldiers, but have a limited pool of abilities and less high-tech equipment. This also provides a better contrast to the more skilled and thus exclusive units the Shadows have. ICly the Shadow Knights are able to recruit in greater numbers due to the exodus from Tygara. They also have a company now, which helps with funding and thus training them better.
Modification:

Replace this:

• Availability: Unique
• Deployment: Minor.

With this:

• Availability: Rare
• Deployment: Limited

In Historical Information, change this:


They have the Force skills of an Initiate or Spellweaver. Eldorai call the Force Sciia, which they regard as the inner flame the gifted can tap into, rather than an omnipresent energy field that binds all life together. To put it plainly, the Force is a tool, and thus they reject the idea of it having sides. They focus on the following Force skills:

• Elemental powers (each soldier has one specialisation - fire, air, earth or ice). These are broadly comparable to what the Shapers of Kro Var can do.
• Telekinesis

to this:

The majority of the Caerith Tyari are Apprentice level. Officers are Knights and provide leadership. Eldorai call the Force Sciia, which they regard as the inner flame the gifted can tap into, rather than an ominipresent energy field that binds all life together. To put it plainly, the Force is a tool, and they reject the idea of it having sides. The religiously inclined equate Sciia with soul and consider it a gift from the Goddess. People who suscribe to the traditional dualist interpretation of the Force would probably classify most of the Shadows as Grey or Dark Force-users. In terms of Force skills they focus on telekinesis, as well as the elements of fire, air, earth and ice abilities. Most soldiers specialise in one element and have some skill in two others, but not the direct opposite to their preferred element. For a example, a pyromancer could have some ability to manipulate earth and air, but would be unable to use ice.


In Historical Information add (at the end of what I've already written there):

In contrast to the all-female Angelii Corps, the Caerith Tyrai allow elf males to join their ranks. The reason for this radical change is partly ideological, partly pragmatic. The Eldorai exiles who had been left behind on Kaeshana had to struggle to survive in a post-apocalytic wasteland. In such a situation it was necessary to have all hands on deck, forcing them to do away with or relax traditional policies. Moreover, several of the Forsaken were political radicals and reformists. Officially the Shadow Knights are committed to gender equality. However, in spite of these progressive notions, individual units are still segregated by gender. This is justified by saying that men are too prone to emotion and that gender integration would undermine unit cohesion. While they are integrated at command levels, women still tend to monopolise the top positions. The Masculine Anti-Defamation League has called this a setback in the struggle for gender equality in the military, but for the time being the conservative forces are too strong for the radical progressives to overcome. This probably not too surprising since many of the Shadow Knight leaders are female middle class officers.

 

[Darth Carnifex]

Submission Name: The Behemoth
Link to Submission: Click
Summary of Modification: Update the image and starship link
Reason for Modification: Wanted to update the image and the starship link
Modification:

Change top image to this

Image Credit: Click - JBJHJM@DeviantArt

Starship Model: Behemoth-class Super Star Dreadnought

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

Submission Name: Firemane Motorised Infantry
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update Equipment.
Reason for Modification: Replacing old tech.
Modification:


In Equipment, Armour,

replace this:

• Sentinel Battle Armour

with this:

• ACS-004 Olympian Battle Armor (Permission requested here, obtained here). Commlink has encryption device (available for Firemane per this thread).

 

[Srina Talon]

[member="Kaida Taldir"] "Caerith Tyrai" has been updated.

[member="Darth Carnifex"] "The Behemoth" has been updated.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"] "Firemane Motorised Infantry" has been updated.

Enjoy!