Akela Ru
Most Adorable Ball of Adorable
"Padawans War journal, five hundred thousandth day of the... something I have lost count. All of these days blend together now that I have reached snack nirvana." The ancient stones of Tython tremble under yet another explosion blaster fire, lightsabers clashing, the usual afternoon apocalypse. Smoke curls around the crumbling ruins like a bad holodrama filter. Then, from the shadows of a toppled pillar, a small figure strides forward with the gravity of a master who's just invented a new war crime involving whoopee cushions. "Oh yeah sneaky sneaky sneaking I am sneaking." She said the jedi stealth mantra to channel her inner sugar rush into power.
Akela Ru, Padawan Menace, lekku swaying like royal banners, planted her tiny boots on a chunk of rubble and throws her arms wide. Her lightsaber hilts dangles unused from her belt like an afterthought. Behind her, two very confused fellow padawans stumble into view Jey and Zev already looking apologetic for whatever's about to happen. Akela clears her throat with theatrical importance. Her voice coming out in her best attempt at a deep, menacing growl but it's mostly squeaky. "I love the smell of sith tears in the morning smells like... crying adults." She said it and Jey spoke as he was there. "That's great news, Akela! Congratulations! We got down here the plan worked."
She pauses, glances back at Jey expectantly. "The plan... the plan didn't work, the adults still stand. We have not acomplished out goal of total victory over the tyrants of naptime.. the ones who say we are only allowed one juice box." Jey looked at her blinking, caught off-guard "Ah... Okay?" Akela looked at him clutching her chest like she's been personally betrayed by the Force. "It is not okay Jey... On the contrary... I mourn." She said it as dramatically as she could when she was there. Her lekku dramatically drooping for maximum effect. A distant sight of a Sith warrior pauses mid-swing to stare. "I was hoping to face the Sith personally on the battlefield one tiny galactic terror terror to another in respectful combat."
She spoke while she was there and looked. "Then I would... snap theirr spine. Ahhh." She makes a tiny little spine-snapping gesture with her fingers. It's adorable. Terrifyingly adorable. As the two with her were looking and she turned to look at Mykel with another long, wistful sigh. She stares off into the middle distance like she's contemplating the fall of civilizations. "The road not taken. But why? Why do they still insist on fighting? I am not there to be challenged. Why would they not seek out the one the masters call a menace? And chaotic? All I want is to create the perfect Gummi-soldier! Not for power, not for evil... but for good."
She gestures grandly at the battlefield. "Sochier-er Ru, I mean, future Gummi droid troopers will be the first of many! They shall march out of our super secret, ultimate, limited edition, special awesome, transforming secret pillow-fort laboratory and snack bar and sweep away every adversary, every boring meditation session, every adult who tries to take away the candy bag, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Akelica!" She spreads her arms wider, voice rising to a crescendo. "And then peace will reign! No more bedtimes! Cookies mandatory! The galaxy shall bow to me in humble gratitude... and hand over all their blue milk."
Silence falls over the nearby padawans. Zev stands there for a moment his chest rising and falling, throat rumbling in deep admiration, wiping a tear. "That... that vas beautiful, little boss." Akela spins on her heel, grinning like she just pulled off the heist of the century. She points at the end goal with one finger, the other hand already rummaging in her belt pouch for emergency candy reserves. Akela speaks with her voice going back to normal, bright and terrifying. "Alright, padawan pack! Formation Puppy-Eye! We're going in hot Jey, you handle the loud distractions. Zev, you be the wall. And remember: if anyone offers broccoli, we send them crying home to mommy!"
She ignites her lightsaber with a flourish it's bright pink and moves forward with a glitter bomb in her hands as she looked at Mykel. She look at him yelling over her shoulder. "Sweep the legs, we have no mercy in this padawan pack."