Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Submission Modifications

Status
Not open for further replies.
Submission Name: Order of Fire Silencers.
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update Strengths/Weaknesses and History.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. The Silencers saw extensive combat action on Tephrike, where they faced many Force-using enemies. As a result, Firemane has been investing more in the unit. They can use Abregado-Rae Guild of Hammers equipment due to Firemane gaining access to ARGH tech in
this thread.

Modification:

In Equipment, add:



In Strengths and Weaknesses, change this:

The Silencers are a unit entirely composed of highly specialised, Knight or Apprentice level Force-users.


To this:


The Silencers are a unit composed of experienced, highly specialised, Knight level Force-users.



In Strengths and Weaknesses, change this:

Furthermore, they receive extensive training in Force Stun, which can be used to contain or slow down enemies.They are also proficient in Force Sight, which helps them detect enemies that might be missed by conventional methods, see past obstructions and read alignments.

To this:

Furthermore, they receive extensive training in Force Stasis, which can be used to contain or slow down enemies. They are also proficient in Force Sight, which helps them detect enemies that might be missed by conventional methods, see past obstructions and read alignments. They are also skilled at spotting concealed individuals who use the Force to cloak their presence.



In Historical Information, add:


A detachment of Silencers was assigned to Firemane's Exploration Corps, headed by Tegaea Alcori, the corporation's founder. They were under the command of Sergeant Hikari Saito, a tough Panathan NCO. They were aboard the Scarlet Destiny when it began its maiden voyage. However, what was supposed to be a peaceful exploration mission to initiate first contact with worlds cut off by the Gulag Virus turned into something significantly more bloody when they came across the world of Tephrike. A Firemane delegation was ambushed by extremists in the Jedi-led Dominion of Light, a totalitarian theocracy. In response, Firemane declared war, allying with the Republican Guard, a native insurgency that opposed Force-Users.


However, while Tephrike's technology had regressed due to near-constant warfare and four hundred years of isolation, the Dominion was a formidable opponent. When Firemane troops assaulted Fortress Purity, the Dominion employed the Force and a weather control machine to even the scales. Many Dominion troops fought to the last man. Some of the most fanatical turned themselves into living bombs. Saito's Silencers were among the Firemane ground troops deployed to take Purity. However, a kamikaze pilot attack forced Saito and her comrades, along with the Xioquo warrior Karrigan'Xalda, Laira Darkhold and a Resistance unit, to hastily exit the craft.


Once under ground, they came under enemy attack. The Silencers pulled off a flanking attack to relieve Firemane regulars that were being swarmed by Dominion militia and Jedi. Using their special abilities, they were able to suppress the powers of several hostile Forcewielders and disrupt the Force meld they used to coordinate. Saito and Xalda worked together to take out the main caster. Linking up with scattered Firemane troops, they tried to secure a landing zone. However, the storm created by the weather control machine made it difficult to reinforce them or communicate with the Firemane command. Saito was injured during the fighting, but proved vital in rallying and inspiring Firemane troops that had been cut off.


Upon reaching a hill that held Dominion forces, the allied troops were subjected to a massive psychic wave. Being more resistant to mental influences, the Silencers were better equipped to resist it, but then the Dominion attacked with Jedi sharpshooters and death charging militia who had turned themselves into living bombs. This forced the Silencers and their comrades on the defensive. Casualties were severe, though the special operators could use their powers to stun and contain enemies. A stalemate ensued, as the enemy was well-entrenched on the hill.


Eventually, Firemane was able to take it, making use of elementalists to turn the storm on the enemy. Brutal fighting ensued as Firemane troops stormed the Dominion lines. In the last phase of the battle, the Dominion officers covered their retreat by throwing a brigade of Younglings at the attackers. The Silencers proved their worth in the battle by dampening the powers of enemy Force-Users, stunning enemies and through good marksmanship. Their stealthiness allowed them to pull off surprise attacks. The Silencers were among the Firemane units that entered what was left of Fortress Purity. Many members received commendations after the battle. Given how many Force-using enemies the corporate empire had faced on Tephrike, Firemane decided to expand the unit and invest more in them. Saito refused a promotion because she was happier being an NCO, getting into the action and yelling at people.
 
Submission Name: Icewind Ravagers
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update Equipment and Strengths/Weaknesses.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit.
Reassessed unit a bit, as they are intended to be a single unit of specialists.
Modification:


In Equipment, add



In Strengths and Weaknesses, change this:

The Icewind Ravagers are a potent support unit composed of Force-Sensitive elf warriors, with the Force skills of an Initiate or Spellweaver.

To this:

The Icewind Ravagers are a potent support unit composed of Force-Sensitive elf warriors, with the Force skills of a Spellweaver.


In Strengths and Weaknesses, add:

Their airspeeders are fast and have mounted weapons that give the cryomancers additional firepower, such as via rotary cannons. They are good infantry shredders, but weak against tanks and other heavily armoured vehicles. Moreover, careless use of the Icewind's abilities can spoil their retreat or make it difficult to navigate. Outside of the speeders they are reliant on their personal weapons and elemental abilities.
 
Submission Name: Exemplars.
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update Equipment and Strengths/Weaknesses.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. Kaida's missions (e.g. here, here and here). have helped her get better funding and thus improve the unit. She has also recruited old comrades from her time as an Angelii officer in the prestigious Valora's Chosen Company of the Eldorai Matriarchy to help train the unit.

Modification:

In Strengths and Weaknesses, change this:

They are composed of Initiate and Spellweaver level Force-users, who specialise in elemental abilities (fire, ice, earth and air/lightning), as well as offensive and defensive telekinesis.


To this:

They are composed of Knight level Force-users, who specialise in elemental abilities (fire, ice, earth and air/lightning), as well as offensive and defensive telekinesis.


In Equipment, add:

 
Submission Name: Sandstriders
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update Equipment
Reason for Modification: Updating unit.

Modification:

In Equipment, add:


In Equipment, change this:

To this:

 
Submission Name: Nova Myrmidons
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update Equipment and Strengths/Weaknesses.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit.

Modification:


In Equipment, add:


In Equipment, change this:
To this:


In Strengths and Weaknesses, first paragraph, add:

Their control over their bodies allows them to suppress their pain.
 
Sub Modifications...680 - Order of the Fire Silencers, 681 - Icewind Ravagers, 682 - Exemplars, 683 - Sandstriders, 684 - Nova Myrmidons, and 685 - Archae Teuthis have all been updated.

Please tag me if I missed anything. Thank you!
 
[member="Kaine Australis"]

I thank you so much for trying to simplify the workload by re-posting the submission as it should be, however, I need to know what else was changed specifically in the sub in regards to the error. I can't just copy the new entry because there's no way I'm going to be able to compare each bit to hunt for what was altered in a timely fashion. Please let me know when you have a moment and I'll adjust ASAP.

If you look in previous entries you can see that everyone usually posts changes as:

In Strengths and Weaknesses, change this:

I'm a ballerina with jawsome dancing moves.

To this:

I'm a ballerina with jawesome dancing moves and a great tutu.
 
Submission Name: Wolfguards
Link to Submission: Linky
Summary of Modification: Major update to equipment and lore, upgrading to 3.0 Codex template
Reason for Modification: Updating submission to 3.0, adding new lore and equipment
Modification: Move to Pre-Codex
 
Submission Name: Kiara
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/93763-kiara/
Summary of Modification:
  • New template!
  • Art, old ones are broken links.
  • History
  • Culture
Reason for Modification: Updating to new Planet Template, also adding history and updated graphics.
Modification: Move to Pre-Codex for proper edits and re-judgement and such.
[/center]


[size=5][color=#61d46c]OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION[/color][/size]
[color=#61d46c]Intent:[/color] To further flesh out Kiara, a planet I have submitted in September 2016.
[color=#61d46c]​Image Credit:[/color]
[LIST]
[*]Andreas Rocha - Dome City - [url=https://www.artstation.com/artwork/PQobn]https://www.artstation.com/artwork/PQobn[/url][/*]
[*]Andreas Rocha - Peace of Mind - [url=https://www.artstation.com/artwork/AbR9y]https://www.artstation.com/artwork/AbR9y[/url][/*]
[*]Andreas Rocha - Climber - [url=https://www.artstation.com/artwork/84Aom]https://www.artstation.com/artwork/84Aom[/url][/*]
[*]Andreas Rocha - Spring is Coming - [url=https://www.artstation.com/artwork/5LEmP]https://www.artstation.com/artwork/5LEmP[/url][/*]
[*]Andreas Rocha - The Last Fortress - [url=https://www.artstation.com/artwork/wZrGZ]https://www.artstation.com/artwork/wZrGZ[/url][/*]
[*]Andreas Rocha - Blue Valley - [url=https://www.artstation.com/artwork/B5OVl]https://www.artstation.com/artwork/B5OVl[/url][/*]
[*]Andreas Rocha - An-Thonn Gate - [url=https://www.artstation.com/artwork/oZ8YL]https://www.artstation.com/artwork/oZ8YL[/url][/*]
[*]Andreas Rocha - Wizard's Tower - [url=https://www.artstation.com/artwork/8lm0Kx]https://www.artstation.com/artwork/8lm0Kx[/url][/*]
[/LIST]
[color=#61d46c]Canon:[/color] No.
[color=#61d46c]Links:[/color] N/A.

[color=#61d46c][size=5]GENERAL INFORMATION[/size][/color]
[color=#61d46c]Planet Name: [/color]Kiara
[color=#61d46c]Demonym: [/color]Kiaran
[color=#61d46c]Region: [/color]Outer Rim
[color=#61d46c]System Name: [/color]Tel Syrosmas
[color=#61d46c]System Features: [/color]None that are noteworthy
[color=#61d46c]Coordinates: [/color]Q:54
[color=#61d46c]Major Imports:[/color]
[LIST]
[*]Consumer Goods[/*]
[*]Manpower[/*]
[*]Medicine[/*]
[/LIST]
[color=#61d46c]Major Exports:[/color]
[LIST]
[*]Food[/*]
[*]Fabrics[/*]
[*]Art[/*]
[/LIST]
[color=#61d46c]Unexploited Resources: [/color]None that are worthy of note.

[size=5][color=#61d46c]GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION[/color][/size]
[color=#61d46c]Gravity: [/color]Standard
[color=#61d46c]Climate:[/color] Temperate
[color=#61d46c]Primary Terrain:[/color] Plains, mountains, caves, lakes and ocean.
[color=#61d46c]Atmosphere: [/color]Type I

[size=5][color=#61d46c]LOCATION INFORMATION[/color][/size]
[color=#61d46c]Capital City:[/color] Tre’eyviin
[color=#61d46c]Planetary Features:[/color] Several ruined and overgrown cities, steep mountains, and fertile valleys. Flora has a tendency to grow at a particularly invasive rate due to the soil of the planet. As such it is a prominent agricultural world.

[color=#61d46c]Major Locations:[/color]

[center][img=https://i.imgur.com/nTbEy9S.png][/center]
[color=#61d46c]Uyar Canyon and Jinn River[/color]
“The winds brush against your cheeks accompanied by the sound of the oddly harmonic cacophony as the River Jinn carves its eternal path along the Uyar Canyon. Birds call for each other with glee throughout the forests that surround you and your heart skips as you look down at the fall ahead of you that would mean certain death should you slip.”
- A Local’s Guide to Exploring the Beauty of Kiara

The most definitive holy site on all of Kiara. Not because they are remarkable by any means, but because it is where these two wonders split apart from one another that the Capital of Kiara, Tre’eyviin, is located. The river and the mountain was named after the first two explorers Jinn Bekk and Uyar Cabarr who rediscovered the planet after the Gulag Plague. As a tribute and thank you, the struggling natives renamed the river and mountain of their most holiest ancestors after those who had tried their best to guard them. Wildlife is teeming in this verdant valley and there is an overabundance of game to be found for enterprising hunters.

[center][img=https://i.imgur.com/0txhAmz.png][/center]
[color=#61d46c]Tre'eyviin City[/color]
“Smiles seem to spread across her face, creases and wrinkles had come to life where once there had been nothing more but the stagnant frown of a dying remnant. The great change had come and it had gone and the fire that burned within them all, that ember of hope for the future, was no longer able to be contained. Even now the most worn and weary faces amongst the crowds of the marketplace has managed to find a reason to smile again.”
- Unknown artist, book found in the city’s library.

Tre'eyviin City is the biggest city on Kiara and nearly 70% of the world’s population lives there. Time was that the city had been faced with a struggle for survival, but with the steady influx of refugees and other new inhabitants the truth of the matter is that Tre’eyviin has started to grow into something nobody could have foreseen mere decades ago. This city was not always the capital, Ele’veen was, but even with the formerly abandoned city reclaimed people see little to no reason to move the capital back.

The architecture in Tre’eyviin is notable for its distinctly natural patterns and themes. Though most buildings are made out of a fine carved marble or granite, the patterns carved into them resemble something close to wood. Although the influx of refugees has created a melting pot of different styles, the city council is doing its utmost to keep its heritage intact.

On regular occasion, festivals are held to distribute the wealth of a harvest or to celebrate the death and rebirth of their society. During these times it is not unheard of for the streets to be, in a most literal sense, filled to the brim with cider.

[center][img=https://i.imgur.com/QKiP1G5.png][/center]
[color=#61d46c]Ele'veen[/color]
“What was once forgotten was reborn. Our city rose like a phoenix from its ashes and when its wings spread the angels themselves wept in joy at the sight. Though our old capital is no longer forgotten, the past that may once have been buried underneath it has been. As we mourn the loss of our history we can still find solace in the brightness of the rising sun that blinds us from our hopeful horizon.”
- Albrecht Kiern, Renowned Kiaran Historian

A good ways down the coast of Lake Klare, far away from Tre’eyviin yet accessible by boat, lies the former capital of the world, Ele’veen. This once abandoned city has slowly but surely been brought back to life with the help of outsiders from around the galaxy. While Tre’eyviin holds a particularly traditional style at its heart, Ele’veen is quickly turning into a hotspot where trends and styles are mixed and matched to create something unique due to the city housing mainly immigrants and few locals.

Tensions can spike up every now and then, but with the help of the Peacekeepers things are kept under control to the satisfaction of most parties involved.

Life in the old city is slowly coming back around, and this time it is looking to be permanent once again.

[center][img=https://i.imgur.com/8GRYaX2.png][/center]
[color=#61d46c]Witherpoint Peak[/color]
“Cold. Unforgiving. Words used to describe not just the most infamous of the Peacekeepers, but the climb to their headquarters as well. Yet when you arrive, you are more likely to be met with anything but which is a true testament to who the sect really are.”
- Aramis Sky, Silver Jedi

Witherpoint is the headquarters to the local force sect known as the Peacekeepers of Kiara. The name comes from the fact that the temple seems to be located right at the border of where vegetation starts to thin out along the mountain’s climb. The mountain upon which the temple is located on is at the opposite side of Lake Klare from where Tre’eyviin is. The lake was named after the founding figure of the sect and people hold both the lake and the mountain in the utmost reverence with many making it a yearly pilgrimage to walk up and down along its treacherous steps. Something the peacekeepers are less than thrilled about given the death count.

Yet the people who brave the chilly steps to Witherpoint Peak will be met with the great big structure that is the Witherpoint Temple. A place that from the outside seems very ordinary, yet in reality is anything but.

When first stepping into the temple grounds the first thing a visitor would notice would be the great hovering crystal that seems to be suspended mid-air in the great hall. The crystal itself is believed to contain the body or soul of Kiara, the very woman that the planet itself is named after but there is no scientific basis as to whether or not her body would actually be encased within. Although if standing in just the right place while looking at the crystal is said to be granted vague silhouettes of a small woman inside of it with a pulsating light akin to that of a heartbeat.

The Order of Peacekeeper is in itself a very small enclave of the planet’s force users who were all brought voluntarily to study with the elders before being let out into society again, should they so desire. Their focus lies not in combat but farseeing and as such they have adapted a strict non-intervention doctrine. Time and space is a powerful tool and they acknowledge the fact that sometimes things need to happen no matter how terrible they might be. Beyond that their focus lies in actively preventing or warning the people of Kiara about things that are beyond them such as diseases, famine and other things that nature may bring about.

While lightsabers do exist in the order it is only provided to those who have reached Masterhood and it is more often than not an old hilt that has been inherited from one master to another or to those who will replace a current master in the Order due to retirement or death. As such the Peacekeepers do not regard lightsabers as much more than a very efficient tool. Something to use when all else fails.

In the meanwhile knights are offered custom designed vibroblades while apprentices are given a pole that they are free to shape and detail themselves in any manner they deem suitable for a Peacekeeper. Since Kiara is a place of nature, many choose to follow the tradition of keeping to said natural theme.

[center][img=https://i.imgur.com/mwiOphl.png][/center]
[color=#61d46c]Mount Talith and Point Locke[/color]
“Even the good things come to an end. My time has passed, and I tried my best. This is not the end, it’s a new beginning.”
- Kaili Talith

What was once the central hotspot for the natural worship of Kiara has since then turned into little more than a museum of the people who lived above Tre’eyviin. Mount Talith, and it’s peak Mount Locke, were both named after the prophesied people who found Kiara and brought it out of its dark age. The intense religious cult that formed around them would eventually prove too much and once Kaili had felt her obligation to the people had been fulfilled to a sufficient degree, she left.

Now the home of their former gods have been turned into a resort and spa. The items left behind as Locke and Talith went their separate ways has been stowed away and in its place a great majority of the estate in which they lived has been opened to the public and turned into a quite luxurious place to stay and recuperate.

[color=#61d46c][size=5]POPULATION[/size][/color]
[color=#61d46c]Native Species:[/color]
[LIST]
[*]Nerf[/*]
[*]Bantha[/*]
[*]Womp rats[/*]
[*]Other Wildlife[/*]
[/LIST]
[color=#61d46c]Immigrated Species:[/color]
[LIST]
[*]Humanoids[/*]
[/LIST]
[color=#61d46c]Population:[/color] Moderate

[color=#61d46c]Demographics:[/color] Very human-centric due to the years of isolation, but the people have an open-mind on non-human sentients. As such the planet has become a safe haven for refugees which has brought up the alien demographic up to a stable ¼ of the population. The planet wasn’t very populated to start with given all the plagues.
[color=#61d46c]Primary Languages: [/color]Basic.
[color=#61d46c][float='right'][img=https://i.imgur.com/7XyGwr1.png][/float][/color]
[color=#61d46c]Culture:[/color]
[color=#61d46c][i]Daily life[/i][/color]
It has been hard for the people of Kiara to shake the remnants of their history battling the aftermath of the devastating Gulag Plague and Netherworld catastrophes. In the cities they enjoy a lifestyle that is nearly equal to the rest of the galaxy’s middle class. However, in the hamlets outside of the city life gets a bit more rough as they hunt and farm for food and it only gets worse the further you get from the city where only the most stubborn of isolationists still linger in enclaves spread across the world.

On Kiara, those who can make a living for themselves thrive and those who cannot are taken care of by the state with welfare programmes and steadfast employment to turn even the least contributing citizen into a hardworking, robust, worker. And due to the abundance in wildlife, fertile soil and bountiful waters there is always enough work to go around for everyone. The only way someone wouldn’t find themselves with something to do would be if someone deliberately ensured that it happened, but since Kiarans are a people of work they will generally shun and mock such behavior.

[color=#61d46c][i]Society[/i][/color]
Kiaran society is built upon the three cornerstones that were necessary for them to outlive the Gulag Plague as a united people. “Diligence, respect and discipline” is a saying that has transcended its meaning and become not just a way, but the way of life for any and all Kiarans who are born on the planet. A good worker need diligence to keep their new homes from being reclaimed by nature again, they need respect to keep each other united, and they need discipline to stay focused on what matters.

Kiaran people has been sought after since their spaceports were re-opened for their eagerness to work and their staunch workplace loyalty.

[color=#61d46c][i]Arts[/i][/color]
A lot of the art produced by Kiaran artists have natural themes to them. Mountains, rivers, lakes and oceans. Songs and poetry are often very windy in their moods and sweeping motives. It is not unheard of for budding songwriters to find many different creative ways to turn even the weirdest of natural formations into a metaphor or euphemism. The most well-known artist on Kiara was a painter, songwriter, playwright and poet who several thousand years later, to this day, still inspire many young men and women to become a cultural master just like them.

[color=#61d46c][i]Sports[/i][/color]
While it isn’t a big thing on Kiara, sports still has a small presence. There are dojos and fencing studios available to the general populace, but as far as actual arena games go they just didn’t find a whole lot of interest in it. The people prefer to play sports that involve honor, respect and the usage of your whole body as well as finesse or precision rather than brute strength. To that extent Kiaran sharpshooters are something to fear in a competition, which is not to mention their skills as hunters.

The young children do of course like to kick and toss balls between one another, but the idea to do such a thing professionally generally strikes them as absurd and as such it never really turned into anything more than a good way for people to make time pass.

[color=#61d46c][i]Religion[/i][/color]
The people of Kiara worship monuments and idols of the past. Lake Klare was named after the original Peacekeeper Elder from many centuries ago, and the Jinn River that runs through the Uyar Canyon were named after the two lost merchants who were vital in re-establishing trade on Kiara centuries ago. While their efforts had undoubtedly failed and the galaxy would forsake Kiara once more, the technology the two men’s efforts had brought in at the time proved invaluable. As such, they have been deified in both person and land as is the Kiaran tradition.

Though Mount Talith and Point Locke has religious and cultural importance to the people, since their disappearance people have come to move on. At this point Talith and Locke are just names in the history book.

Beyond that, any transgression against nature such as settling without permission or disrupting it for no particular reason is seen as a crime against the people’s strong beliefs and worship which can, and most likely will result in said person getting fined or outright exiled if not banished from the planet entirely.

[color=#61d46c][i]Local Force Sect[/i][/color]
Beyond the natural wonders and deities people see the Peacekeepers themselves as the second greatest source of faith and belief, taking every single word they utter as prophecy. With their affinity for farseeing the peacekeepers speak and people listen with great admiration for what they do as the Peacekeepers Kiara has managed to warn the people and helped them avoid many disasters in the past. People have no intentions of doubting their sages any time soon.

Internally amongst themselves the Peacekeepers themselves are neither Sith nor Jedi-inclined and wishes to see balance in the force over debate against one or the other. As long as their members hurt only themselves and nobody else they are free to practice whatever they want.

[color=#61d46c][size=5]GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY[/size][/color]
[color=#61d46c]Government:[/color] Meritocratic Democracy.
[color=#61d46c]Affiliation:[/color] Independent.
[color=#61d46c]Wealth:[/color] Low-Medium.

[color=#61d46c]Stability:[/color]
High. Though crime is hard to eradicate, Kiara’s focus on rehabilitation and reintroduction of criminals into law-abiding citizens have proved to be a big hit with most prisoners. Travel is very safe within the cities, although outside of them there is wildlife to worry about.

[color=#61d46c]Freedom & Oppression: [/color]Kiaran Freedom. The people are free and have the right to wander anywhere they desire, but with the religious importance of their environment there are heavy restrictions on where a person is allowed to settle or construct permanent structures.

[color=#61d46c][size=5]MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY[/size]
Military:[/color] A well-trained planetary defense force, but ultimately no match for an army.
[color=#61d46c]Technology:[/color] Galactic Standard on most things except Biotech which they seem to excel at. Outside of the cities life has a chance of devolving into something more reminiscent of a ‘medieval’ level.
[float='right'][img=https://i.imgur.com/DMBsLv1.png][/float]
[size=5][color=#61d46c]HISTORICAL INFORMATION[/color][/size]
Most of the history regarding Kiara has been brought down from a very select few books on the subject. As the libraries grew untended and riots spread in the cities, much knowledge was lost to human folly which left the Kiarans without any solid grasp on their true roots. The only thing that they can really say for certain is that the planet used to be a former refugee world where lost souls of all kinds had sought refuge from the on-going civil war that brewed in the galaxy. With time however the small settlements of refugees would begin to blossom into a full-blown society spanning the entire planet. There is many smaller city ruins spread across the surface of Kiara but the Gulag Plague was a devastating blow, and most of them have long since been reclaimed by wild creatures and other predators that have nested there for over four centuries at this point.

Kiaran society itself was founded by a former Imperial Officer who is said to have been stationed on Kiara. First having been a ruthless pragmatist he found himself taken aback by the kindness of the people he was overseeing and stepped down from his post in order to help them build something out of the ruins of the on-going wars. Upon passing he was deified for his newfound humility and the kindness that he had displayed and was granted a statue atop one of the islands off the coast of the city known as Ele’veen.

The civilization was founded on Imperial principles as a way to appease their Imperial overlords, the people of Kiara would with time start to take on a far more democratic mindset. It wasn’t a complete conversion. Autocracy didn’t work out quite as they wanted, but at the same time they found that it made things a lot more simpler than having elections every fourth year or so. It meant that things got done, and as long as someone who was capable was sitting at the throne, there really wasn’t anything to fear. A meritocracy was instituted that granted the people a right to vote for who they wished to succeed the current ruler, and if an elected ruler started to abuse their power they would retain the power to declare them unreliable as a leader and vote them out of office. While these tendencies were overlooked at first, it was eventually something that would reach the higher ups of the Empire itself who in turn proceeded to send more and more delegates and propaganda to try and make the people change their minds whether by force or subliminal messaging, something that greatly upset just about everyone who lived on Kiara and the people decided to start mounting up for a revolt. Problem was that the opportunity never came before they found themselves freed by someone else.

The Rebel Alliance.

Or perhaps it was more accurate to say it was the destruction of the second Death Star that had set them free. With the Empire in shambles there was nobody around to pick up the threads of attempted subjugation, and once it grew all the more evident that communications had been lost with the rest of the galaxy Kiara began its first slow descent into obscurity. With time they would find that the Imperials that were left behind disbanded from their units and integrated into Kiaran society as government officials and military personnel and before long even the staunchest of imperial found themselves new lives amongst their newfound society.

But then it happened; the Gulag Plague rolled over Kiara and the descent into obscurity only ramped up in intensity from there. It ravished the planet. Tore down all the things that the people held dear as year after year saw men, women and children alike wither away and die until eventually a mere 1% of the original population on Kiara remained. The once great civilization had been delivered a fatal blow to its name. It was crushed and smashed into ruins, left to their fates as year after year passed with no indication that things were getting any better. It was not until the fateful day that a single spaceship descended from the skies that things seemed to take a turn for the better again as a small crew of explorers seeking somewhere new to settle down stumbled upon the now-capital Tre’eyviin by sheer luck. The confusion between the two parties were great to say the least as Kiara collided with the galaxy that was left in the wake of the plague that had threatened to annihilate them. Once it grew all the more evident that the explorers were there to stay they would soon find themselves immortalized by the local populace as the two landmarks that kept the Kiarans alive were renamed in their honors.

These two men were Jinn Bekk and Uyar Cabarr, two men that would help Kiara get back into the game, even if just for a short while. The men got the colony in touch with the galaxy around them again, and for that they were praised, but the luck ran out once they both passed away. As a result Kiara descended into another period of obscurity as the Netherworld Catastrophe continued to dwindle their already dwindling numbers. The scribes would come to call the event “The Great Disappearance”, aptly named as such because of the simple fact that yet again half the world’s population disappeared while a mere quarter returned, further reducing the Kiaran population to a new historical low.

But as things were starting to look its worst the skies would find itself pierced once more. A single ship touched ground and out stepped two women and a droid of Kiaran make. The droid was killed upon first contact with local wildlife, but the two women persevered and managed to stumble their way into Tre’eyviin where they were greeted with cheers. Unbeknownst to them, their arrival had been prophesied a long time ago, and with the confirmation of the local force sect, the Peacekeepers, that these two were the ones from their visions the two women were raised overnight from lucky explorers to revered gods. A status neither woman seemed to enjoy at all.

As time passed the people of Kiara were promised the galaxy, and before long their newfound goddesses managed to deliver. With the Boolon Foundation was the first step of many in the right direction as the city that had once been known as just another Abandoned City regained it’s old name; Ele’veen, the former capital of Kiara. With the help of a few outsiders and the Kiarans hard work, things were finally starting to look like it was turning out for the better again.

The planet ushered in a golden age that lasted for as long as their newfound gods’ stay did, which much like anything else did not last for the Kiaran people. Distance, quarreling, betrayal, or a lack of love. The reasons why their gods decided to go away was never made fully known to the people, but when faced with the reality it took them a few days to realize what it meant. Talith had done her absolute best to ensure that the people were prepared, but in the end chaos ensued for a short while regardless. News of Locke moved through the Silver Jedi presence on the planet, but where Talith went remained a mystery.

As the chaos settled a new form of government took shape. Theocracy became democracy, and with it the belief that only those who had shown themselves important to the continuation of society should hold a chance at governance. There were no career politicians, focus went back to survival as it had before the two women had arrived. With society now taking up two different cities, Kiara was on its way back onto the star maps again as a place of unexploited agricultural riches.

What happened once that happened was no longer in Kaili Talith’s hands, and that was in the end all she had ever hoped for.

[/spoiler]
[CENTER][IMG]https://i.imgur.com/edFM6Yh.png​


OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
Intent: To further flesh out Kiara, a planet I have submitted in September 2016.
​Image Credit:
Canon: No.
Links: N/A.

GENERAL INFORMATION
Planet Name: Kiara
Demonym: Kiaran
Region: Outer Rim
System Name: Tel Syrosmas
System Features: None that are noteworthy
Coordinates: Q:54
Major Imports:
  • Consumer Goods
  • Manpower
  • Medicine
Major Exports:
  • Food
  • Fabrics
  • Art
Unexploited Resources: None that are worthy of note.

GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION
Gravity: Standard
Climate: Temperate
Primary Terrain: Plains, mountains, caves, lakes and ocean.
Atmosphere: Type I

LOCATION INFORMATION
Capital City: Tre’eyviin
Planetary Features: Several ruined and overgrown cities, steep mountains, and fertile valleys. Flora has a tendency to grow at a particularly invasive rate due to the soil of the planet. As such it is a prominent agricultural world.

Major Locations:


nTbEy9S.png
Uyar Canyon and Jinn River
“The winds brush against your cheeks accompanied by the sound of the oddly harmonic cacophony as the River Jinn carves its eternal path along the Uyar Canyon. Birds call for each other with glee throughout the forests that surround you and your heart skips as you look down at the fall ahead of you that would mean certain death should you slip.”
- A Local’s Guide to Exploring the Beauty of Kiara

The most definitive holy site on all of Kiara. Not because they are remarkable by any means, but because it is where these two wonders split apart from one another that the Capital of Kiara, Tre’eyviin, is located. The river and the mountain was named after the first two explorers Jinn Bekk and Uyar Cabarr who rediscovered the planet after the Gulag Plague. As a tribute and thank you, the struggling natives renamed the river and mountain of their most holiest ancestors after those who had tried their best to guard them. Wildlife is teeming in this verdant valley and there is an overabundance of game to be found for enterprising hunters.


0txhAmz.png
Tre'eyviin City
“Smiles seem to spread across her face, creases and wrinkles had come to life where once there had been nothing more but the stagnant frown of a dying remnant. The great change had come and it had gone and the fire that burned within them all, that ember of hope for the future, was no longer able to be contained. Even now the most worn and weary faces amongst the crowds of the marketplace has managed to find a reason to smile again.”
- Unknown artist, book found in the city’s library.

Tre'eyviin City is the biggest city on Kiara and nearly 70% of the world’s population lives there. Time was that the city had been faced with a struggle for survival, but with the steady influx of refugees and other new inhabitants the truth of the matter is that Tre’eyviin has started to grow into something nobody could have foreseen mere decades ago. This city was not always the capital, Ele’veen was, but even with the formerly abandoned city reclaimed people see little to no reason to move the capital back.

The architecture in Tre’eyviin is notable for its distinctly natural patterns and themes. Though most buildings are made out of a fine carved marble or granite, the patterns carved into them resemble something close to wood. Although the influx of refugees has created a melting pot of different styles, the city council is doing its utmost to keep its heritage intact.

On regular occasion, festivals are held to distribute the wealth of a harvest or to celebrate the death and rebirth of their society. During these times it is not unheard of for the streets to be, in a most literal sense, filled to the brim with cider.


QKiP1G5.png
Ele'veen
“What was once forgotten was reborn. Our city rose like a phoenix from its ashes and when its wings spread the angels themselves wept in joy at the sight. Though our old capital is no longer forgotten, the past that may once have been buried underneath it has been. As we mourn the loss of our history we can still find solace in the brightness of the rising sun that blinds us from our hopeful horizon.”
- Albrecht Kiern, Renowned Kiaran Historian

A good ways down the coast of Lake Klare, far away from Tre’eyviin yet accessible by boat, lies the former capital of the world, Ele’veen. This once abandoned city has slowly but surely been brought back to life with the help of outsiders from around the galaxy. While Tre’eyviin holds a particularly traditional style at its heart, Ele’veen is quickly turning into a hotspot where trends and styles are mixed and matched to create something unique due to the city housing mainly immigrants and few locals.

Tensions can spike up every now and then, but with the help of the Peacekeepers things are kept under control to the satisfaction of most parties involved.

Life in the old city is slowly coming back around, and this time it is looking to be permanent once again.


8GRYaX2.png
Witherpoint Peak
“Cold. Unforgiving. Words used to describe not just the most infamous of the Peacekeepers, but the climb to their headquarters as well. Yet when you arrive, you are more likely to be met with anything but which is a true testament to who the sect really are.”
- Aramis Sky, Silver Jedi

Witherpoint is the headquarters to the local force sect known as the Peacekeepers of Kiara. The name comes from the fact that the temple seems to be located right at the border of where vegetation starts to thin out along the mountain’s climb. The mountain upon which the temple is located on is at the opposite side of Lake Klare from where Tre’eyviin is. The lake was named after the founding figure of the sect and people hold both the lake and the mountain in the utmost reverence with many making it a yearly pilgrimage to walk up and down along its treacherous steps. Something the peacekeepers are less than thrilled about given the death count.

Yet the people who brave the chilly steps to Witherpoint Peak will be met with the great big structure that is the Witherpoint Temple. A place that from the outside seems very ordinary, yet in reality is anything but.

When first stepping into the temple grounds the first thing a visitor would notice would be the great hovering crystal that seems to be suspended mid-air in the great hall. The crystal itself is believed to contain the body or soul of Kiara, the very woman that the planet itself is named after but there is no scientific basis as to whether or not her body would actually be encased within. Although if standing in just the right place while looking at the crystal is said to be granted vague silhouettes of a small woman inside of it with a pulsating light akin to that of a heartbeat.

The Order of Peacekeeper is in itself a very small enclave of the planet’s force users who were all brought voluntarily to study with the elders before being let out into society again, should they so desire. Their focus lies not in combat but farseeing and as such they have adapted a strict non-intervention doctrine. Time and space is a powerful tool and they acknowledge the fact that sometimes things need to happen no matter how terrible they might be. Beyond that their focus lies in actively preventing or warning the people of Kiara about things that are beyond them such as diseases, famine and other things that nature may bring about.

While lightsabers do exist in the order it is only provided to those who have reached Masterhood and it is more often than not an old hilt that has been inherited from one master to another or to those who will replace a current master in the Order due to retirement or death. As such the Peacekeepers do not regard lightsabers as much more than a very efficient tool. Something to use when all else fails.

In the meanwhile knights are offered custom designed vibroblades while apprentices are given a pole that they are free to shape and detail themselves in any manner they deem suitable for a Peacekeeper. Since Kiara is a place of nature, many choose to follow the tradition of keeping to said natural theme.


mwiOphl.png
Mount Talith and Point Locke
“Even the good things come to an end. My time has passed, and I tried my best. This is not the end, it’s a new beginning.”
- Kaili Talith

What was once the central hotspot for the natural worship of Kiara has since then turned into little more than a museum of the people who lived above Tre’eyviin. Mount Talith, and it’s peak Mount Locke, were both named after the prophesied people who found Kiara and brought it out of its dark age. The intense religious cult that formed around them would eventually prove too much and once Kaili had felt her obligation to the people had been fulfilled to a sufficient degree, she left.

Now the home of their former gods have been turned into a resort and spa. The items left behind as Locke and Talith went their separate ways has been stowed away and in its place a great majority of the estate in which they lived has been opened to the public and turned into a quite luxurious place to stay and recuperate.

POPULATION
Native Species:
  • Nerf
  • Bantha
  • Womp rats
  • Other Wildlife
Immigrated Species:
  • Humanoids
Population: Moderate
Demographics: Very human-centric due to the years of isolation, but the people have an open-mind on non-human sentients. As such the planet has become a safe haven for refugees which has brought up the alien demographic up to a stable ¼ of the population. The planet wasn’t very populated to start with given all the plagues.
Primary Languages: Basic.
7XyGwr1.png

Culture:
Daily life
It has been hard for the people of Kiara to shake the remnants of their history battling the aftermath of the devastating Gulag Plague and Netherworld catastrophes. In the cities they enjoy a lifestyle that is nearly equal to the rest of the galaxy’s middle class. However, in the hamlets outside of the city life gets a bit more rough as they hunt and farm for food and it only gets worse the further you get from the city where only the most stubborn of isolationists still linger in enclaves spread across the world.

On Kiara, those who can make a living for themselves thrive and those who cannot are taken care of by the state with welfare programmes and steadfast employment to turn even the least contributing citizen into a hardworking, robust, worker. And due to the abundance in wildlife, fertile soil and bountiful waters there is always enough work to go around for everyone. The only way someone wouldn’t find themselves with something to do would be if someone deliberately ensured that it happened, but since Kiarans are a people of work they will generally shun and mock such behavior.

Society
Kiaran society is built upon the three cornerstones that were necessary for them to outlive the Gulag Plague as a united people. “Diligence, respect and discipline” is a saying that has transcended its meaning and become not just a way, but the way of life for any and all Kiarans who are born on the planet. A good worker need diligence to keep their new homes from being reclaimed by nature again, they need respect to keep each other united, and they need discipline to stay focused on what matters.

Kiaran people has been sought after since their spaceports were re-opened for their eagerness to work and their staunch workplace loyalty.

Arts
A lot of the art produced by Kiaran artists have natural themes to them. Mountains, rivers, lakes and oceans. Songs and poetry are often very windy in their moods and sweeping motives. It is not unheard of for budding songwriters to find many different creative ways to turn even the weirdest of natural formations into a metaphor or euphemism. The most well-known artist on Kiara was a painter, songwriter, playwright and poet who several thousand years later, to this day, still inspire many young men and women to become a cultural master just like them.

Sports
While it isn’t a big thing on Kiara, sports still has a small presence. There are dojos and fencing studios available to the general populace, but as far as actual arena games go they just didn’t find a whole lot of interest in it. The people prefer to play sports that involve honor, respect and the usage of your whole body as well as finesse or precision rather than brute strength. To that extent Kiaran sharpshooters are something to fear in a competition, which is not to mention their skills as hunters.

The young children do of course like to kick and toss balls between one another, but the idea to do such a thing professionally generally strikes them as absurd and as such it never really turned into anything more than a good way for people to make time pass.

Religion
The people of Kiara worship monuments and idols of the past. Lake Klare was named after the original Peacekeeper Elder from many centuries ago, and the Jinn River that runs through the Uyar Canyon were named after the two lost merchants who were vital in re-establishing trade on Kiara centuries ago. While their efforts had undoubtedly failed and the galaxy would forsake Kiara once more, the technology the two men’s efforts had brought in at the time proved invaluable. As such, they have been deified in both person and land as is the Kiaran tradition.

Though Mount Talith and Point Locke has religious and cultural importance to the people, since their disappearance people have come to move on. At this point Talith and Locke are just names in the history book.

Beyond that, any transgression against nature such as settling without permission or disrupting it for no particular reason is seen as a crime against the people’s strong beliefs and worship which can, and most likely will result in said person getting fined or outright exiled if not banished from the planet entirely.

Local Force Sect
Beyond the natural wonders and deities people see the Peacekeepers themselves as the second greatest source of faith and belief, taking every single word they utter as prophecy. With their affinity for farseeing the peacekeepers speak and people listen with great admiration for what they do as the Peacekeepers Kiara has managed to warn the people and helped them avoid many disasters in the past. People have no intentions of doubting their sages any time soon.

Internally amongst themselves the Peacekeepers themselves are neither Sith nor Jedi-inclined and wishes to see balance in the force over debate against one or the other. As long as their members hurt only themselves and nobody else they are free to practice whatever they want.

GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY
Government: Meritocratic Democracy.
Affiliation: Independent.
Wealth: Low-Medium.

Stability:
High. Though crime is hard to eradicate, Kiara’s focus on rehabilitation and reintroduction of criminals into law-abiding citizens have proved to be a big hit with most prisoners. Travel is very safe within the cities, although outside of them there is wildlife to worry about.

Freedom & Oppression: Kiaran Freedom. The people are free and have the right to wander anywhere they desire, but with the religious importance of their environment there are heavy restrictions on where a person is allowed to settle or construct permanent structures.

MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY
Military:
A well-trained planetary defense force, but ultimately no match for an army.
Technology: Galactic Standard on most things except Biotech which they seem to excel at. Outside of the cities life has a chance of devolving into something more reminiscent of a ‘medieval’ level.
DMBsLv1.png

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Most of the history regarding Kiara has been brought down from a very select few books on the subject. As the libraries grew untended and riots spread in the cities, much knowledge was lost to human folly which left the Kiarans without any solid grasp on their true roots. The only thing that they can really say for certain is that the planet used to be a former refugee world where lost souls of all kinds had sought refuge from the on-going civil war that brewed in the galaxy. With time however the small settlements of refugees would begin to blossom into a full-blown society spanning the entire planet. There is many smaller city ruins spread across the surface of Kiara but the Gulag Plague was a devastating blow, and most of them have long since been reclaimed by wild creatures and other predators that have nested there for over four centuries at this point.

Kiaran society itself was founded by a former Imperial Officer who is said to have been stationed on Kiara. First having been a ruthless pragmatist he found himself taken aback by the kindness of the people he was overseeing and stepped down from his post in order to help them build something out of the ruins of the on-going wars. Upon passing he was deified for his newfound humility and the kindness that he had displayed and was granted a statue atop one of the islands off the coast of the city known as Ele’veen.

The civilization was founded on Imperial principles as a way to appease their Imperial overlords, the people of Kiara would with time start to take on a far more democratic mindset. It wasn’t a complete conversion. Autocracy didn’t work out quite as they wanted, but at the same time they found that it made things a lot more simpler than having elections every fourth year or so. It meant that things got done, and as long as someone who was capable was sitting at the throne, there really wasn’t anything to fear. A meritocracy was instituted that granted the people a right to vote for who they wished to succeed the current ruler, and if an elected ruler started to abuse their power they would retain the power to declare them unreliable as a leader and vote them out of office. While these tendencies were overlooked at first, it was eventually something that would reach the higher ups of the Empire itself who in turn proceeded to send more and more delegates and propaganda to try and make the people change their minds whether by force or subliminal messaging, something that greatly upset just about everyone who lived on Kiara and the people decided to start mounting up for a revolt. Problem was that the opportunity never came before they found themselves freed by someone else.

The Rebel Alliance.

Or perhaps it was more accurate to say it was the destruction of the second Death Star that had set them free. With the Empire in shambles there was nobody around to pick up the threads of attempted subjugation, and once it grew all the more evident that communications had been lost with the rest of the galaxy Kiara began its first slow descent into obscurity. With time they would find that the Imperials that were left behind disbanded from their units and integrated into Kiaran society as government officials and military personnel and before long even the staunchest of imperial found themselves new lives amongst their newfound society.

But then it happened; the Gulag Plague rolled over Kiara and the descent into obscurity only ramped up in intensity from there. It ravished the planet. Tore down all the things that the people held dear as year after year saw men, women and children alike wither away and die until eventually a mere 1% of the original population on Kiara remained. The once great civilization had been delivered a fatal blow to its name. It was crushed and smashed into ruins, left to their fates as year after year passed with no indication that things were getting any better. It was not until the fateful day that a single spaceship descended from the skies that things seemed to take a turn for the better again as a small crew of explorers seeking somewhere new to settle down stumbled upon the now-capital Tre’eyviin by sheer luck. The confusion between the two parties were great to say the least as Kiara collided with the galaxy that was left in the wake of the plague that had threatened to annihilate them. Once it grew all the more evident that the explorers were there to stay they would soon find themselves immortalized by the local populace as the two landmarks that kept the Kiarans alive were renamed in their honors.

These two men were Jinn Bekk and Uyar Cabarr, two men that would help Kiara get back into the game, even if just for a short while. The men got the colony in touch with the galaxy around them again, and for that they were praised, but the luck ran out once they both passed away. As a result Kiara descended into another period of obscurity as the Netherworld Catastrophe continued to dwindle their already dwindling numbers. The scribes would come to call the event “The Great Disappearance”, aptly named as such because of the simple fact that yet again half the world’s population disappeared while a mere quarter returned, further reducing the Kiaran population to a new historical low.

But as things were starting to look its worst the skies would find itself pierced once more. A single ship touched ground and out stepped two women and a droid of Kiaran make. The droid was killed upon first contact with local wildlife, but the two women persevered and managed to stumble their way into Tre’eyviin where they were greeted with cheers. Unbeknownst to them, their arrival had been prophesied a long time ago, and with the confirmation of the local force sect, the Peacekeepers, that these two were the ones from their visions the two women were raised overnight from lucky explorers to revered gods. A status neither woman seemed to enjoy at all.

As time passed the people of Kiara were promised the galaxy, and before long their newfound goddesses managed to deliver. With the Boolon Foundation was the first step of many in the right direction as the city that had once been known as just another Abandoned City regained it’s old name; Ele’veen, the former capital of Kiara. With the help of a few outsiders and the Kiarans hard work, things were finally starting to look like it was turning out for the better again.

The planet ushered in a golden age that lasted for as long as their newfound gods’ stay did, which much like anything else did not last for the Kiaran people. Distance, quarreling, betrayal, or a lack of love. The reasons why their gods decided to go away was never made fully known to the people, but when faced with the reality it took them a few days to realize what it meant. Talith had done her absolute best to ensure that the people were prepared, but in the end chaos ensued for a short while regardless. News of Locke moved through the Silver Jedi presence on the planet, but where Talith went remained a mystery.

As the chaos settled a new form of government took shape. Theocracy became democracy, and with it the belief that only those who had shown themselves important to the continuation of society should hold a chance at governance. There were no career politicians, focus went back to survival as it had before the two women had arrived. With society now taking up two different cities, Kiara was on its way back onto the star maps again as a place of unexploited agricultural riches.

What happened after that point was no longer in Kaili Talith’s hands, and that was in the end all she had ever hoped for.
 
Submission Name: Seekers of the Sky
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Edits in Domain.
Reason for Modification: Modifying lore a bit after discussion.

Modification:


In Domain, change this:

The Seekers do not control any territory per se. The Xioquo have sough refuge on Firemane space habitats and ark ships. Thus the Seekers are part of the exodus fleet. Their spiritual leader is also the Queen of the Xioquo. The Seekers recruit their members from among the people and integrate themselves in the local communities. Every Seeker is expected to make a contribution to the community. Depending on their skills, this can take varous forms. They strive to help their people adjust to the new world, hoping to find a home they can settle and build a better future on. However, they are one of many sects that wish to influence the Xioquo. For millennia the culture of the Xioquo was steeped in the Dark Side and old habits die hard.


To this:

The Seekers do not control any territory per se. Many Xioquo live on Firemane space habitats and arkships, intending to go off and colonise other worlds. Thus the Seekers are part of the colonisation fleet. However, they also maintain a strong presence back on Tygara in the Underealm, the subterranean home of their race, where they seek to guide those who still live on the homeworld. Their spiritual leader is also the Queen of the Xioquo. The Seekers recruit their members from among the people and integrate themselves in the local communities. Every Seeker is expected to make a contribution to the community. Depending on their skills, this can take varous forms. They strive to help their people adjust to the new world, hoping to find a home they can settle and build a better future on. However, they are one of many sects that wish to influence the Xioquo. For millennia the culture of the Xioquo was steeped in the Dark Side and old habits die hard.
 
Submission Name: House Kerrigan-Alcori
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Moce to Pre-Codex.
Reason for Modification: Adjusting to new template, making significant edits to update lore.

Modification:

Move to Pre-Codex.
 
Submission Name: Stahlritter
Link to Submission: Here
Summary of Modification: Update History, Equipment, Strengths and Weaknesses and Availability.
Reason for Modification: Updating unit. Enyo's resources have expanded considerably since I subbed the unit, as she has acquired Archangel. Moreover, they now have Garnet, Darth Libertas and Enyo as trainers to improve their skills.

Modification:


In Strengths and Weaknesses, change this:

  • Extremely small unit. It's just five of them.

To this:

  • Extremely small unit. It's just nine of them.


In Equipment, change this:

Their preferred ranged weapons are heavy blasters, disruptors, hard sound guns or Particle SMGs (purchased here, confirmed by storefront owner here). In melee combat, they utilise single-bladed lightsabres, sometimes with a battle shield held in the off-hand.

Commonly come equipped with Wrist Charrics and/or Wrist Ion Beamers (both purchased here, confirmed here by storefront owner). To gain protection beyond what their droid bodies can provide, they wear battle armour. Armour tends to be Olympian Battle Armour (purchased here, confirmed by storefront owner here), or Blackhide Armour.



To this:

Armour:

Melee Weapons:
  • Crossguard Lightsabres
  • Phrik swords.

Rifles:

Sidearms, Wrist and Underbarrel Weapons:

Misc:


In Availability, change this:

  • Availability: Unique. It's just five them. Two are Knights, the others are Apprentices.

To this:
  • Availability: Unique. It's just nine of them. All are Knights.

In History, change this:

They are all trained in the use of lightsabres, though their mechanical bodies impose certain limitations on them. The Shards are trained in the use of the five classical styles of lightsabre combat. The one exception is Ataru, as they cannot leap about and pull off intense acrobatics due to their bodies being too heavy. In terms of Force use, they specialise in the following powers:
  • Telekinesis
  • Force barrier and energy absorption
  • Precognition
With the exception of the units designated Opal and Paraiba, all of the Stahlritter are Apprentice level, which is reflected by their command over their powers. Each squadmate can operate independently, of course. Able to coordinate their actions in a near-seemless manner, they are most effective when they act as a unit instead of lone wolves. Above all, they are a good support force.


To this:

They are all trained in the use of lightsabres, though their mechanical bodies impose certain limitations on them. The Shards are trained in the use of the five classical styles of lightsabre combat. Their droid bodies keep them from utilising Ataru effectively though, as they are too heavy to leap about and pull off intense acrobatics. In terms of Force use, they specialise in the following powers:
  • Telekinesis
  • Force Barrier & Tutaminis.
  • Force Meld
  • Precognition

All of the Stahlritter are at the level of experienced Knights, which is reflected by their command over their powers. The most senior members are Opal and Pariba. Of the two, Opal is the eldest and most experienced. Each squadmate can operate independently, of course. Able to coordinate their actions in a near-seemless manner, they are most effective when they act as a unit instead of lone wolves. Above all, they are a good support force.


In History change, this:

Though disillusioned by their dead leaders, they still feel disdain for most non-Shards. Thus they keep themselves aloof from the ranks and file of the Iron Fist Consortium. They still strive to find other members of their decimated species, and bring them into the fold.


To this:

Though disillusioned by their dead leaders, they still felt disdain for most non-Shards. Thus they kept themselves aloof from the ranks and file of the Iron Fist Consortium. Training with Enyo and Garnet enabled them to enhance their powers, making them a more formidable fighting force. The Stahlritter fought at Enyo's side at Kashyyyk, Thyferra and Alderaan, where the grim Cyborg supported the Sith Empire's efforts as a private contractor. Moreover, they were part of her strike force when she took the fight to Archangel. There they faced some of their corrupted brethren, as Archangel had aligned itself with Contingency remnants. The battle was a fierce one, but ended with their new patron victorious. The Stahlritter still strive to find other members of their decimated species, and bring them into the fold. They also want to return to SX-192, the Contingency system, and salvage what is left of the technology their former leaders built.
 

Arekk

The Flesh Of Fallen Angels
Sub Mod - #696 - Seekers of the Sky [Completed]
Sub Mod - #697 - House Kerrigan-Alcori [Completed - Moved to Pre-Codex]
Sub Mod - #698 - Shadow Knights [Completed - Moved to Pre-Codex]
Sub Mod - #699 - Xudax [Completed]
Sub Mod - #700 - Noasis [Incomplete - Invalid Submission Link] - [member="Kaine Australis"]
Sub Mod - #701 - Stahlritter [Completed]
 
[member="Arekk"]


Thanks for doing submods. I think you may have accidentally overlooked one of the requests I posted for the Stahlritter submission, namely in the Strengths and Weakness section (if there are issues, please inform me, the changes were carried out for Availability, powers and Equipment):


In Strengths and Weaknesses, change this:

  • Extremely small unit. It's just five of them.

To this:

  • Extremely small unit. It's just nine of them.


Also it seems not all the history/description updates went through, so could you please add this at the end:


Training with Enyo and Garnet enabled them to enhance their powers, making them a more formidable fighting force. The Stahlritter fought at Enyo's side at Kashyyyk, Thyferra and Alderaan, where the grim Cyborg supported the Sith Empire's efforts as a private contractor. Moreover, they were part of her strike force when she took the fight to Archangel. There they faced some of their corrupted brethren, as Archangel had aligned itself with Contingency remnants. The battle was a fierce one, but ended with their new patron victorious. The Stahlritter still strive to find other members of their decimated species, and bring them into the fold. They also want to return to SX-192, the Contingency system, and salvage what is left of the technology their former leaders built.
In Strengths and Weaknesses, change this:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom