Scherezade Had a Thousand Tales, and This One Might Be about Betrayal

[Scherezade deWinter]

Yes. He would find someone again, because he'd done it before, and he'd do it again. That wasn't hard to know, you didn't need to be a Seer in order to be able to tell that. She didn't know why Shmi had left after years. There was no good answer for that. Nothing she could say to make him feel less worse. But maybe... Maybe he understood now, why she couldn't, wouldn't, trust him. Trust anyone. Friend or lover, close or casual, anyone you trusted ended up betraying you.

And then Josh said he usually didn't confide in people. Scherezade took another swig from her bottle. He was right, she did have a hard time believing it. He'd been doing a lot of confiding in her since the night on Zeltron, even though she hadn't been listening, not really. She'd figured he was just the type of person to do that, be like that.

And then he said she was special.

Scherezade shook her head. He had it all wrong. She wasn't. If she was, Gerwald and Katrine wouldn't have done what they'd done to her. If she was, she wouldn't be sitting here at a lake on Naboo, being drunk for several weeks in a row. If she was, she would've been able to sleep, or find joy in her stupid adventures, and do things, and... No. He had it all wrong.

Learning to trust again... To that she also shook her head. "There is no balance," she replied, looking emptily at the lake again, "if you trust someone, it's just a matter of time before they betray you. What's the point."

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

“So you’re saying you’ll betray me eventually?”

He just stared at her as he said that. He wasn’t wrong. If it was only a matter of time before someone betrayed you, that must apply to her as well, right? She was not exempt from the Everyone label, that’s for sure.

He hoped she would not betray him even if he had tried to prepare for the possibility.

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

"I haven't betrayed anyone yet," she answered honestly, "I can't imagine a scenario in which I would." It was true. She might not have had a full life, going from baby to child to teen to adult. Her life experience amassed to about six months, with the last of them completely and utterly wrecking her. But for all she'd done in those six months, the good and the bad, she had not betrayed anyone, and couldn't imagine doing so. She was bad with people. She knew the importance of having people around. But... But all those she let in, they'd all betrayed her. All two of them. "But you'll betray me," she said, still staring at the lake, "I already told you this would happen."

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

“And I cannot imagine a scenario where I would” He spoke. What reason had he given that he coud turn on her? His recent issues proved you didn’t need one but... Most people at least had a reason. He wouldn’t harm her unless it was to protect someone. Only reason he may kill was for Jason.

“I didn’t betray you to Katrine. What ways are left”

Of course, he remembered then that while he had meant to mention her before, things heated up before he could.

“And... Yeah. I met her. Not long ago.”

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

He couldn't imagine a scenario. The problem was, you didn't have to imagine. She hadn't been able to imagine that for either Katrine or Gerwald, but here they were. Or rather, here she was. They, were together somewhere, celebrating life together, being with their siblings together, erasing memories of her together.

She was about to say something about it, when Josh mentioned meeting Katrine.

They had been sitting by the lake for a while now, and he... He had not said it before. He had ample of time. He could've said it when he contacted her to set this meeting up. But no, he hadn't, not at any point. And now he was saying... He met Katrine.

Scherezade wished she knew how to hide her emotions. But she couldn't. Not when both pain and anger began to rise and she kicked the grass, trying to put distance between them. If he met Katrine there was only one possible solution. He was on Katrine's side now, just like everyone else was. And it wasn't just meeting her. He hadn't just met her. There was enough stuff that happened for him to claim he hadn't betrayed Scherezade to Katrine. Her mind was doing loops, spinning around itself. She wanted to scream, she wanted to punch him in the face, she wanted to get up and run away.

"You just said you couldn't imagine a scenario in which you'd betray me!" she screamed, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to start.

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Of course she would immediately jump to the conclusion that he had betrayed her. He just stared at her as she would kick the grass and scream at him. What had the grass done to her? But he just stared at her, eyes lidded low, just continuing to stare at her with a look of "Really?" in turn.

"Scherezade" He spoke calmly, taking a deep breath. He knew he needed to treat her with caution in this instance, history had told him that. "First of all, I didn't seek her out. I was reviewing the status of a temple I helped build before I was accosted by a woman I came to find out was Katrine.

And honestly?" He trailed off, looking her dead in the eyes. "I didn't like her very much. Too dodgy, too wishy washy for me. She is pretty low on the list of people I would trust not to put a knife in me. Like, I trust her not to stab me less than you and you might snap at any moment."

"Oh yes. And Scherezade, dear?" He added on, that light twinkle of mischief coming back for a moment. "You lied about her being prettier than you" He pointed out, his expression now mocking a pout as he remembered her calling him a liar over and over again not a few minutes ago. His next words came with a dry delivery. "Liar. Liar. Pants on fire."

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

He hadn't seeked her out. She'd... She'd accosted him? That didn't sound like Katrine at all. Scherezade had never seen her be brutal with strangers outside of a battlefield. She shook her head wildly, unable to believe a single word of what Josh was saying. Except for the temple bit, but that was mostly because it sounded like something a Jedi would do.

A part of her wanted to grab a handful of grass and fling it at him. How dare he speak so lowly of her sister?! But no, she was not her sister anymore. He didn't deserve to get punched for speaking ill of the woman who'd betrayed her, even though the will to throttle him right now for saying he didn't like her was strong.

But more than that, her disbelief was even stronger. Everybody liked Katrine. That was, like, a Katrine characteristic.

And then came the comment about which of the was prettier.

This time, Scherezade did not hold back. Her fist closed around grass and earth, and she flung it directly into Josh's face.

"Then maybe you met someone who lied about being Katrine," she hissed at him, "because if you had met her, you'd be on her side right now, and you wouldn't be saying that."

But the strength in her had emptied. She groaned, the tears flowing freely again now. Most of her life... Most of her life after coming out of the pebble, had been spent not crying around people, being unable to even produce tears next to anyone that wasn't Gerwald. Now it seemed she was crying all the time. She didn't have any fight left in her. For all intents and purposes, she was an empty husk of what she once was.

"What do you mean she accosted you?" she asked after a pause, "what do you mean she dodged questions? What do you mean you didn't like her? Everyone likes her. And I've never seen her stab anyone outside of battle. And what do mean she's not prettier, of course she is. Do you even have eyes? Why would you even stay and talk with her?! Why didn't you tell me this sooner?! When did it even happen? Were there spirits? Did they say anything? Why didn't you punch her in the face? What do you mean you didn't like her?!"


[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

His wording was off on that, he probably should have used "confronted". Still, he didn't expect her to get even more mad and fling grass at him. Wiping it away, he just stared at her. He let her go on, he would let her ask a million questions, some conflicting with each other. And then she began crying. It was when she started crying that he hugged her. Dangerous? Probably. But he hugged her.

"Let me try and answer each question one at a time" He spoke calmly as he would cradle her a bit.

"Then maybe you met someone who lied about being Katrine,"

"No. It was definitely Katrine. She knew about you, she even brought you up in passing, without using your name. I caught on and asked about it."

"because if you had met her, you'd be on her side right now, and you wouldn't be saying that."

"Well I did. And I still think you're cuter."

"What do you mean she accosted you?"

He thought about it a moment. He didn't know what accosted actually meant, it just sounded fancy. He needed to look that up. "Confronted. That was a wording error" He corrected. "I was confirming the status of the Jedi Temple on Ryloth when she approached me."

"what do you mean she dodged questions?"

"I confronted her asked her about what happened with you. It took forever to get a straight answer. She seems like an expert at bullchit and dancing around questions as if it doesn't make her more suspicious than a twitchy deathsticks salesman on Naboo."

"What do you mean you didn't like her? Everyone likes her."

"I didn't like her" He repeated. "I don't like dishonest people. She was a dishonest person."

"And I've never seen her stab anyone outside of battle."

"Wouldn't know. Still watching my back if I see her again."

"And what do mean she's not prettier, of course she is. Do you even have eyes?"

He leaned in to press his nose to hers, staring dead into her eyes from close range. "See? Eyes. Yes. I have eyes. You're prettier. At least to me. Opinions are subjective."

Every answer seemed to get blunter and blunter.

"Why would you even stay and talk with her?!"

"I wanted information and to confront her on what she did to you."

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?!"

"You'd hate me forever if I said it on the phone" He remarked. "And wouldn't have listened to me unlike if I'd said it in person. I've been trying to find an opening to say it since I got here, and took the first opportunity that became available."

"When did it even happen?"

"Recently."

"Were there spirits? Did they say anything?"

"I sensed them but did not see or hear them."

"Why didn't you punch her in the face?"

"As tempting as it was, I don't tend to hit a lady."

"What do you mean you didn't like her?!"

"I didn't like her" He repeated again. "She bears the treacherous soul of Githany from the tale of Darth Bane more than anyone I have met since Circe. And seemed intent on acting like I was a horrible person because how dare I accuse such an innocent soul of any wrongdoing. Also the blaming everything on Gerwald got old very, very fast."

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Josh was hugging her. Scherezade screamed and moved away, half rolling on the grass before she managed to seat herself up again. She didn't want to be touched. She wanted answers. Well, she thought she wanted answers. If she'd had paused to think it over, she might have realized that the answers might be even more painful, but she hadn't, so she didn't.

As Josh began to tackle each question separately, Scherezade used the Force to call a bottle. She wanted to empty it without thought, but her fingers just curled around the bottle's neck and she sat there, frozen.

Katrine had bought her up in passing without mentioning her name? "Why would she bring me up?!" Scherezade asked, "what did she say?!"

Okay, there was no accosting. That made... A little bit more sense. Katrine wouldn't have randomly accosted anyone without good reason, and while Josh was stubborn headed and liked to talk too much sometimes, that alone wasn't reason enough to accost him without knowing him first.

But dodging questions? Needing a forever to get a straight answer? Dancing around questions? Scherezade could only blink to that. It didn't sound like Katrine at all. If anything, Katrine usually gave too much information out. She'd talked with her endless times before the Darkness and there never had been any sort of dodging that she could remember. Unclear sometimes, yes, but not dodgy. And to call her dishonest... Again Scherezade was torn between wanting to punch Josh for saying such a lie, and between accepting that perhaps that was the truth of it. She didn't know how to read people. Tacitus himself had said that people who did what Katrine and Gerwald had done to her were experts at the arts of lies. Maybe it was just Scherezade who'd lived five months being a complete and utter dumb person, not realizing what was going on around her.

Josh had eyes. He said again that she was prettier. Scherezade inched backwards. "What kind of information? What did you say? What did she say?" she asked, but she was no longer screaming. If anything, the broken edge to her voice had found its way back.

He was right when he said she wouldn't have listened any other way. She was still angry at him though, angry for having gone to Katrine without telling her first, angry that he'd talked to her at all, angry that he'd waited so long (and by 'long' the meaning was, more than fifteen seconds) to tell her.

And then came the last bits... Blaming Gerwald for everything.

Scherezade shook her head. Gerwald carried much of the burden, that was true. But Katrine was not an innocent. She had loved, and chosen, and claimed Gerwald while Scherezade was in the Darkness. And now she was with Gerwald even after knowing how much Scherezade had loved him, after hearing about so many of their moments, of the things that had happened. Even before she left them, Katrine had chosen Gerwald over her own sister. There was a reason they weren't sisters anymore.

"Tell me everything," Scherezade whispered, trying to ready her heart, trying to will herself to sit still and be calm. It wasn't working. She was still trying. "Please..."

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Of course she didn't want to be touched after that, why did he think she did? Once he finished, she had calmed down a little, and demanded an explanation. He would sit down then, calling one of the bottles to him with the Force and pulling out one of the cold sandwiches from the picnic basket he'd packed, motioning to her that she could eat from it again as he tried to think on where to begin.

"I helped build the Ryloth Temple years ago. I wanted to see it's condition" He started. "I was approached by Katrine, and after some debate on Jedi and Sith, she brought up the Jedi that attacked you. I put the pieces together and it wasn't long before it was clear that I was talking to Katrine. So I confronted her. I could have been a bit softer, and I'll admit that after she started getting defensive and dodgy, I let my feelings on the matter rule me a bit. I ended up saying some pretty mean stuff when my questions were met with dancing around, delegating blame to Gerwald and trying to absolve herself of any wrongdoing. In the end, the only thing she'd admit to doing wrong was "loving". Which to me is bull. She knew you got played, and decided to stick with the player. I'm not sure if I called her on that, I had already battered her pretty hard at that point.

I did ponder if, based on her story that Gerwald had perhaps played you both. But she had pretty much no concern for the idea that he might turn on her next if he finds a new toy. She just... Didn't seem to care. The way she said things on the matter made it seem to me like she had someone else already lined up and in play. I did ask if they weren't monogamous but she got defensive. Confirmed my theory fairly quickly."

"Honestly, it came off to me like the two of them are playing each other" Josh would admit, frowning a bit. "It's not a one-sided affair. And I think personally you should get away from them and stay away. They are not good people. Odds are they never were good people. They are people that use each other. That was made very clear to me. If you want my honest opinion... They deserve each other. They're perfect for each other. You? You deserve better."

Letting out a sigh, he considered how to word the next bit.

"I ended up switching tact, wanting to find out the whole story, as something about what Tacitus said had been worrying me and I wanted to be sure you weren't in any danger. I wanted to know everything I could about the situation in case there was a way to help you. And in case my fears did come true" He admitted honestly. "She was still dancing around and getting defensive. She seemed to, in some way, want an information trade of sorts. Give a little to get a little. But I couldn't use what we'd discussed in private unless it was knowledge she could obtain elsewhere, such as through the CIS. We made a promise when I taught you the memory scrying, and I wanted to keep it. So I gambled on things like the incident with Tacitus, though I didn't know his name at the time so she doesn't know it or at what banquet, being something that hadn't reached her ears yet. I didn't tell her that you got into it with her mom. I didn't know her identity until you told me in private, and I don't know if that's public knowledge so I didn't say anything on it.

To get through to her, since that didn't fully go through and I couldn't use what I promised I wouldn't, I told her my own personal feelings on the matters regarding to you, on you, etc, in detail. Not something I wanted to do with someone I didn't trust but..."

He just shrugged. He figured the action itself told that he did it because he felt that for Scherezade it was worth it.

"So a bit of sacrifice on my part, but unless she's a big fat liar, I at least have more perspective on the situation" He explained. "More than one story on the matter, and both stories do at least match up to a degree. I got what information I could, and I left. And that's about it."

He shrugged again. "And I still didn't like her. And I don't think I'd like Gerwald if I met him. I don't like people who use people to that degree. I wouldn't be surprised if the both of them are hiding secret partners. Gerwald already did it once, and Katrine doesn't give enough of a chit to not have a backup plan."

He sat up straight and stretched out, taking another swig. "I wasn't kidding that I find you prettier though. Stop selling yourself short. You will find someone new someday, and I'm sure you will make them very happy."

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Katrine had said to a perfect stranger that Scherezade had been attacked by a Jedi? What... Why would she do such a thing?! Especially to another Jedi, that she didn't know?! Was she trying to lay the grounds for everyone else to also think Scherezade was weak? The mere thought filled Scherezade with anger. Kamon Vondiranach had stabbed her through the heart and the gut with his lightsabers, but it was a private affair. She didn't even think about what he had done, except for the rare occasion that she noticed the scar on her breast. Kamon was nothing to her, and she didn't even care what he'd done, not when she was constantly thinking about Gerwald and Katrine. And of course Katrine would try to deflect the blame. Hadn't she done the same thing the night Scherezade had come out of the Darkness? Scherezade had told Gerwald that they'd brought her back from the brink of death only to kill her again and Katrine had gone on and on about how she loved her. And maybe, perhaps she did, perhaps she believed she did, but it still did not change the situation. Gerwald and Katrine had made Scherezade wish that Kamon had been victorious, not in just the battle, but in killing Scherezade.

Josh mentioned that he thought Gerwald had played them both. Scherezade blinked. While not word for word, Tacitus had said something along those lines, said that Katrine and Gerwald would betray each other as well when they tired of one another. Next came the bit about toys. In truth, Scherezade had no clue. Katrine had never told her about Katria, so there was no way she could agree or disagree with Josh's statement. She'd have added it to the checklist of things Katrine liked to collect if she did though.

And then Josh said the worst thing he ever. They're perfect for each other.

"No!" Scherezade screamed, "No! No! NO!"

They were not perfect for each other. There was no way in any 'verse that they were. They couldn't even dance together! Even if she wasn't in love with Gerwald, even if Gerwald was just a friend or an acquaintance, she would never have believed they were perfect for each other. She couldn't argue with their choices. Those were done. It didn't mean they were right. If they were perfect for each other, none of what had happened between Gerwald and Scherezade could have ever come to be. Never. There were harsher words in there, words that she wanted to say, but couldn't, not even to herself. Because when ti came down to it, it didn't matter. The man she loved chose her sister, and her sister chose the man Scherezade loved, and they did it while Scherezade was fighting for her life. They hadn't just broken her heart. They had broken her.

Josh was still talking, but Scherezade was having a harder and harder time focusing on any of it. Memories flooded her mind, memories of her and Katrine, memories of her and Gerwald.

I see you.

It was always Katrine.

Visions, going faster and faster in front of her eyes. She closed them, and when she opened them again, the vibrant hue of her green was gone, replaced with a dull shade.

And when Josh said she'd find someone else someday and make them very happy, Scherezade turned around and vomited, the mountains of liquor that were swirling inside her stomach rising up and out.

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Josh stopped when she began to scream. He'd already finished at this point, and just watched her scream and shout and go off until finally, she vomited. He thought back a moment on what he had said that might have caused-

Oh.

Oooooh.

Oh.

Letting out a sigh, he would get up and walk over, placing a hand on her back to help her just calm down and release if she needed to. It was a disgusting affair, but he'd want someone to support him in her shoes right now.

"I didn't mean it in the vein of they're perfect, they should live happily ever after, yadda yadda, your suffering means nothing, bleh" He corrected as he would take a deep breath. "Relax a moment, Scher. Think. Think on what I said. They deserve each other, yes. They are both horrible. They are both users. You are not. Thus you deserve better. You are better than them" He would repeat, trying to ensure she got the point and didn't focus so much on the "deserving" comment.

"They deserve to die surrounded by fat grandchildren that will probably be the ones to put the knife in them... Slowly and very wobbly, but they'll put the knife in them I'm sure. You? You deserve better. You deserve to be with someone you can trust. You deserve... To be happy."

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

"Shut..." she said between sprays of vomit, "up..."

It hurt. It hurt so much. The pain of breathing and the pain in her chest had not been enough, apparently. Now there was the pain in her throat, the pain in her stomach, and Josh touching her back. She didn't know how long she was there on the grass, crouched on all fours. It could have been seconds, or minutes, or hours, before the vomit turned to heavy heaving.

It was an eternity later that she pushed herself back, sitting down miserably next to the puddle of her stomach's acids and liquor. It reeked. Her face had swollen up in the process, her skin going from malnourished pale and gray to red and blochy. She could feel it, feel the grossness of it. Prettier than Katrine, sure.

With a groan, Scherezade shook her head, only now realizing that she was still crying, that she'd never even stopped in all of it.

"Never call me Scher again," she said after she could somewhat breathe physically again. "Darkness take me... I'm not cut out to live in this 'verse. I never was..."

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

He just let her be for a bit, let her let it all out. There really wasn't much that he could do. Once she would finish, she would demand he never nicknamed her again. He said nothing. He just nodded his head and took her hands, bringing her back over and away from the pool of vomit and sitting her down. The first thing he did was to get rid of the smell in the area so he could focus. He would snap his fingers, and the grass the puddle was in would suddenly set aflame, evaporating the liquid. Once it had, his hands would grow cold, using cyrokinesis to cool the energy back down and dissipating the flames before the fires could spread and destroy the field around the lake. Once he had, he would turn to Scherezade, taking a cloth from the basket he'd brought.

Moving over to dip the cloth into the lake, he would start to gingerly clean her face, not saying anything, not badgering her or trying to make her feel better. He just tried to help in the only way he felt that he could at this point. He didn't press too hard, he kept as gentle as he could, he did not speak for there were no words to say in this instance. He focused completely on the task instead.

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

This time, she didn't struggle when he touched her in order to move it away. She didn't have the strength to. When he went to wet the cloths she just sat there, like a puppet cut from its strings, lifeless, flat.

Slowly her words began to dawn on her. It hadn't been the first time she'd talked about not being alive anymore, an it wasn't even the first time she'd alluded to such when Josh was around.

But she was right, wasn't she? She had been outside of the pebble fo a whole six months, and she had nothing to show for it. She was further away from being worthy of Endelaan than she had been as a baby. Her training was underwhelming. Her fights on the battlefield more often than not ended in herself being injured. No one liked her. She didn't even like herself.

When Josh finished wiping her face, Scherezade reached into her pants, pulling out a knife. It wasn't a great knife to look at; just another Czerka knife, rough around the edges. But she knew all her knives really well. To an outsider, they were identical, but to her each had its own story, its own history, its own list of creatures she'd stabbed with it.

This one... Was the one Gerwald had used to take care of the prey, on their first night together on Ryloth.

How fitting.

Scherezade closed her eyes and called for it. She knew what would happen. A puff of smoke ame from the knife as it morphed in her hands into the Sword of Darkness. She knew what she had to do. To get out of the Darkness, she had stabbed herself with it. To go back into the Darkness, wait it out for another five hundred years, maybe more... Would it work? Would it take her?

With a sigh, Scherezade let the sword drop. As soon as it disconnected from her hand, it turned back into her Czerka knife. Maybe there was an easier way. A coward's way. She was a coward, wasn't she?

"I think I need to sleep," she mumbled, looking at the grass. She hadn't slept since coming out of the Darkness, every vein in her body fearing that it would pull her back in. But maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she was there again.


[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

He didn't understand what was going on with the knife, or the sword, or any of that. He didn't know how to respond, he didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. But it was her desire to sleep that he did hear. Perhaps he should have thought this through more, he knew. Last time he had answered someone's desire with something he knew how to do, it had not ended well. But what harm could be brought with this? Of course he didn't know about her fears of being pulled back into the darkness. He didn't know.

"Is that what you want?" He would ask. "To sleep? Like, legitimately sleep, not a metaphor for suicide or some chit" He would make sure to clarify. It seemed he had an answer, but he wanted to be sure he was doing it right this time at least. He knew she hadn't slept the first time they'd met, despite all that time on the couch. Many times she should have fallen asleep properly and she never did.

Had she not been sleeping? At all?

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Eyes still on the ground, Scherezade called a bottle to her hand and drank heavily from it. Josh was asking her if that was what she wanted, to sleep. Real sleep. Did she? What was real sleep anyway? She knew she blacked out at least once a day and remained unconscious for a while. Sort of like a ship shutting off and turning back on again. But real sleep, the kind you woke up from and not jumped from, the kind that made you feel rested, refreshed...

"No..." she whispered, "yes... I don't know."

She sighed. To tell Josh what her problems with sleeping were, would be to trust him. And then he'd just betray her. Like he'd talked to Katrine, which, granted, wasn't actual betrayal, but it danced too near to the line of it for her to be comfortable with it. She still couldn't believe that he didn't like her. She still couldn't believe that he thought Scherezade was the prettier one. She still... She sighed.

"I didn't want to sleep at first," she finally said, "when I came out of the Darkness for the first time. I figured, I'd spent five hundred years in it, why waste time on sleep. And then I realized I had to sleep, but I couldn't, not really. I was scared of rooms that were too dark. And when I dreamed, I... I could always feel the Darkness try to pull me back in. When I lived on Katrine's ship it was easier, the pull was weaker, but it was still there, so I did the least of it that I could, because awake was safer."

She took a sip from her bottle this time.

"And with Gerwald... I don't know when it happened exactly. But after we got to know each other, he became my Shield against the Darkness. I was able to sleep when he as near me. Real sleep, the kind that health experts say people should be sleeping. His scent made the Darkness vanish every time except sort of for the first time. And when we weren't spending nights together, his smell lingered on my sheets, and I could still sleep decently for the nights that came after that, and even rooms without light seemed somehow less threatening, less scary, even if I could still feel the Darkness in them, but it was so weak that I didn't feel the need to give it much thought.

And then after I went into the Darkness the second time... I don't know exactly when it happened, but there are no smells in the Darkness. But at one point I caught Gerwald's scent in it, and I opened my eyes in the real world. I didn't understand it at the time, I understood it only when I really woke up from the Darkness. I thought it had been years, but Gerwald and Katrine said it had only been a week.

And then... The rest of the stuff happened. And I haven't slept at all since then, not since that horrible night. Not really. More like how I sort of fell unconscious on your couch when we tried to watch that holofilm.

I burned the sheets... That night. After I left them together. Almost all of the sheets. I still have a single pillowcase left, and I'm terrified to use it. I'm scared that after one good night, or maybe a few, until the smell runs out, I'll just be worse off than I am now... I haven't even been in my room since then... Just... just left the pillow case on the bare mattress and closed the door."

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

"Well the lack of sleep isn't exactly helping your mood" He pointed out. "That's not healthy. But I suppose I don't have to tell you that."

Or did he? He wasn't sure.

Fine. Fine he would do what he needed to do. He had a buzz going anyway, his good decision maker had been left with the bottles. But what was clear was she needed sleep. Maybe it would do her some good. And this power was relatively harmless. So he would just nod his head a few times. Maybe if she hadn't offered him the bottle, he would be able to think of this more logically, but it was what it was. This wasn't the first time he'd made a decision because Scherezade had encouraged him to drink. Of course last time, it was both the drink and the fact she'd brought out lamentation on him being alone without Shmi.

"I think I can help get you started at least. Just relax" He spoke quietly as he would hold out a hand, placing it on her forehead. "I'm not Gerwald. I'll never be Gerwald. I don't want to be Gerwald. But if you need someone to be there, I'll be there. Awake or asleep, I'll be here to do my best to keep the darkness away. Do I know how? No. Not really. But I'll stay by you while you get some rest, if need be. Just... No worries, okay?"

Taking a breath, he would begin to focus the Current.

"Sleep..."

He took her hand with his free hand, squeezing it gently, while the Current's energy began to release in a method that would begin to cause her to fall asleep. "I won't leave your side, ever for long, until you've had a bit of rest" He promised as he moved his arm to the side a bit to catch her with his shoulder should she slump over. This was the technique he'd tried on Zeltros, but the sprinklers and pheromones had kept the guard up. It had caused him to be injured, which then ended in Scherezade stepping in.

Kind of ironic.

Of course, he wasn't releasing that energy fully. Otherwise she'd be out by now. He'd used a weaker burst, to calm her down, let her feel drowsy, and give her a chance to say whether this was okay or whether she didn't want the help.

"This is up to you, by the way. If you want my help, I mean."

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Only now did she look up, blinking in confusion. What did he mean by he could help her get started? She knew he wasn't Gerwald, she had known that since before she landed on his lap on Zeltros. And no... He couldn't fight the Darkness. No one could. It was the Darkness, and when it claimed her, at least after coming out of the pebble, it left her body where it was, but her mind... Her mind was in the Darkness. That was at least how it had happened that second time. She didn't know what a third time would look or feel like. She didn't want to know.

And suddenly he too her hand, and told her to sleep, and squeezed her hand. She could feel the fatigue scratching her behind the eyes. She could feel her body screaming to let it happen. But how could she? If she did, she wouldn't be there anymore, she would be in the Darkness again, and sure, she said a few minutes ago that perhaps it would be a good idea to let the Darkness claim her, fully and completely, and now...

She began to slump. Her eyes were still open, but her body rejected her thoughts. No. That wasn't what she wanted. She couldn't go to sleep. Sleep was dangerous. Josh wouldn't be able to protect her. Her eyes were closing. She had to... She had to...

Josh said it was up to her.

Scherezade screamed as her body sat up straight now, eyes stretched out as she did so by Force. It wasn't a scream of anger or a scream of frustration, as Josh had been so used to hearing from her. This time, the scream was one of pure fear, the kind that came from the depths of one's stomach, and she screamed again, forcing herself to release all the fuzzy stuff that almost had her fall asleep on his shoulder.

Only when she was sure the threat was gone did she turn to him, this time glaring in rage that quickly turned to pain that was all too easy to see.

"I just told you... What... Why would you do that?" she was almost crying again, "I can't sleep!"

[member="Josh DragonsFlame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

The scream caused him to jump, seeming to wake him properly from a half-asleep, buzzed stupor. His eyes widened as he stared at her, as he seemed to at least register what type of scream that was. Fear, whatever he had done had invoked fear in her. She yelled at him, amongst being near tears, that she couldn't sleep. He stared at her a moment. Wasn't that why he had tried to do it? She couldn't sleep? She-

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

His eyes widened as it clearly hit him in that moment what she meant. She couldn't sleep. She could physically sleep but could not actually sleep for fear the darkness would take her. Or something like that. His memory was foggy, the alcohol had fogged his mind and made it hard to remember things. Or remember what he could properly, for that matter.

"Kark" He groaned, as he would lower his head. "I'm so sorry."

He looked at the bottle at his feet and nudged it away with his foot. "That's it. I'm done. I quit drinking."

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]