As Cora stepped up beside him and offered him a comforting touch on the shoulder he glanced back. Before he could really say anything, he was somewhat startled to hear
Kahlil Noble
more or less call attention to them and put him on the spot.
He had intentionally been self-silenced, viewing this as a learning opportunity to see how his new mentor, Jasper worked and learn what made him tick and what drove his motivation, and how Braze could live up to that and ultimately emulate the man. Their relationship was very new, and raw still, leaving him with this unique sort of fixation and desire to emulate the man he so respected and revered.
Braze felt he stood at the threshold of a new beginning here. Ultimately, he was just a child starting his journey into young adulthood. He didn't feel that his opinions or thoughts held weight nor had a real place here. He didn't think his opinions would matter to the discussion.
This was a topic for the adults to decide amongst themselves. He knew his own thoughts were not tempered with wisdom or experience, and were open and unfiltered. But oh boy did he certainly have some divisive opinions. There was a small wave of inner turmoil that just about radiated off of the newfound empath. He shot a fleeting concerned glance to Jasper briefly before looking back to Kahlil then glancing to
Corazona von Ascania
as if very briefly and childishly blaming her with a glance as if to convey ' this is all your fault'.
The glance to Jasper helped him steel his own tumultuous emotions that were bubbling up and calm himself despite having so suddenly been put on the spot. He didn't need his newfound abilities on blast at a time like this. He drew a deep breath and let it out in a slow purposeful sigh, his anxiety, and turmoil melting and fading down with it.
Braze wanted to speak up about his rather strong feelings about how he thought the adults on the council were meant to be paragons of what the order thought a jedi should be. And to earn such a position on the council you needed to act like an adult. You had to be the embodiment of that paragon, and to lead by example. Something Braze thought was severely lacking in this moment. And to Braze,
Kassogtha Cthylla
was acting no better than a child themselves who wanted to not play with and shun another from their social circle. It didn't make sense to Braze, adults were supposed to act like adults. That was what made them adults. To not want to 'play' with someone, felt childish to him, which struck a chord of irony with what Kass had said. It felt as if the Librarian was letting their emotions get the better of them and sway their decisions.
A formative idea that was only solidified by the contrast of the other council members, and more so as Kass doubled down wanting to insist on isolation for someone who lived in an exile of the order. That didn't make sense to Braze- well it did, but only in 'playground insult rules' so to speak. It was as if Kass wanted to ensure they suffered more when this felt like a time to help someone who was hurting and seeking to make amends.
Nevertheless, this was very likely not Braze's place to judge an adult or speak ill of his elders and possibly betters. Although he very much wanted to give voice to his thoughts, he stopped himself thinking better of saying something that he would likely regret for the sake of Jasper. He hadn't discussed this kind of topic with his Master previously and he didn't want to say something to embarrass himself, nor reflect poorly on his Master. Jasper did impart the idea to better think his actions through before committing. In a way, this was a minor test that Kahlil had unwittingly thrust upon the pale padawan.
Braze held a unique position. He didn't know the man who
Kaleleon
was but he met the man very recently and had formed a very strong first impression of the wisdom and advice that was given to him by
Kaleleon
.
He was earnest and kind from what Braze understood and had worn his heart on his sleeve and given genuine earnest advice when the two of them had met. He was in all respects from Braze's perspective someone who offered to teach freely and didn't ask for anything in return who held no position or desire for manipulative gain. To Braze,
Kaleleon
was a jedi by action alone in his own eyes.
The truth of Braze's world was thus.
Did people change or did they remain stagnant? He thought people changed and could change. Maybe
Kaleleon
was a jedi once before and had forsaken his oaths to pursue what he felt was right in that time. Maybe he made mistakes by doing so. The path to Avernus was paved with good intentions and it just felt.. perverse.... to turn someone away who was hurting and seeking help from the order. Part of what made Braze respect and revere
Jasper Kai'el
so much was how patient, understanding, kind, and fair Jasperer had been. The fair judgment Jasper had passed, and how Jasper had acted with him, cemented this notion of earnest respect for the man. Jasper hadn't been drawn to, nor expressed anger when Braze knowingly and willfully messed up and instead tried to help him understand his choices and how to make better ones. He didn't feel persecuted or judged for his poor choices but rather empowered on how to be better.
Rather than dwell on the racing thoughts that tangent every which way on Braze's inner feelings he offered a weak smile and glanced to Cora.
" I'm glad you got rid of that ring; It hurt really bad and I think your hand looks a lot better without it. " he offered a softly whispered comment before shaking his head in response to Kahlil and bowing his head as if asking for forgiveness. He raised his voice to respond to Kahlil.
"I'm sorry sir, I don't feel I have anything constructive that I can accurately convey at this time. I am pensive at this time as these concepts are new to me. I dare not speak where it isn't my place to do so, sir."
Braze offered politely seemingly deciding his opinions were best unstated here.
