Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved Species The Kür’än

Status
Not open for further replies.
4178c6c93d3416647676ff077d4f5172.jpg


OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Name: The Kür'än (“Koo-ren”)
  • Designation: Sentient
  • Origins: Barren asteroid far in the Ablajeck Sector (see Historical Records)
  • Average Lifespan: 1.1-578 galactic standard years
  • Estimated Population: Scattered
  • Description: Limited by their strange biological factors, The Kür'än wear special breathing apparatuses that also functioned as short-hand envirosuits. If one were to be seen without their suit, it would proceed to be the fuel of one's nightmares for the foreseeable future. The Kür'än have very sensitive, pale eyeballs, and sharp, piranha-like teeth. Their skin has taken on a beige appearance because of their nigh-ancient dependence of their envirosuits.
PHYSICAL INFORMATION
  • Breathes: Type III or IV (Combustible/Toxic atmospheres (see Historical Records))
  • Average Height of Adults: 1.6-1.98 meters
  • Average Length of Adults: N/A
  • Skin color: beige, snow, and albino.
  • Hair color: None
  • Distinctions: None, unisex race, cloned for perpetuation.
  • Races: Just the one.
  • Force Sensitivity: Non-Sensitive
Strengths:
  • Psychopathic; they will not flinch when witnessing a comrade die.
  • Thorough; will strive to complete a task to the letter.
  • Ingenious; whole race of engineers.
  • Acid-Proof skin.
  • Acid Blood.
Weaknesses:
  • Biological Limitations; cannot thrive without envirosuits or a Toxic atmosphere. Food must be full of decomposition bacteria prior to consumption.
  • Skill Surplus/Deficiency; Medical professions left barren, along with lack of dumb labor professionals. Surplus of Manufacturing, Armed Enforcement, Engineering, Science and Technology professions.
  • Eternal Enemy; race flat out refuses to accept alliances unless planning a spectacular betrayal. Individuals won't even cooperate with other beings if in a maroon situation.
  • Short-sighted; they have slowly evolved to have poor eyesight.
CULTURE
  • Diet: omniverotic-Necrophage (eater of dead and rotting things, this includ fauna and flora)
  • Communication: Common and Kür'än, Spoken, usually through mechanical-larynx modifications.
  • Technology level: Adaptive (individuals will use anything on the shorthand and get creative with their killing)
  • Religion/Beliefs: Authoritarianism, Legalism. “Desertion is Heresy.”
  • General behavior-
  • Mating: Through many years of cloning, genetic modification, and war-faring, The Kür'än have slowly become a Unisex race.
  • Raising Young: Being a newborn Kür'än is terrifying, especially because of the acidic vat you wake inside of with a fully formed body. If the overseers do not notice your awakening, then you will injure or drown yourself in your hysteria. If you survive your birthday, then you are immediately ushered into a cramped room where The Kür'än overseers clothe, mask, and feed you your first bowl of carrion. Within the galactic standard hour, you're moved into an auditorium and subsequently cuffed into a metal chair. By now, many of your brood-mates have been cuffed in as well. The ones who fought back in their hysteria were beaten senseless and dragged out of the room. After around a thousand or so of your Brood-mates have been cuffed into place, an image would appear on the massive wall, captivating you and your brood-mates. Within the galactic standard year, you will have learned how to build, think, and kill as efficiently and effectively as possible. Wasting no time at all, you are shipped far away from the asteroid-facility that was reminiscent of an orderly asylum, and into the front lines of war.
  • Life, and the other thing: After what seemed an eternity of messy, uncoordinated, barbaric, war with so many different faces, long dead and yet you remember every detail of every one of them, you finally get to your second year of life. You speak to your elder of five GS years, asking them how long this war has been going on. They tell you that this one was one of the new ones, only having just started three years ago. You think a moment, as your brain-matter suddenly paints the wall behind you.…
  • Rinse and Recycle: Within a week of JDq-1738's confirmed death, it's corpse was hauled back to the nearest Asteroid-Facility to have it's genetic material harvested, grinding the rest into carrion to feed the next subject in circulation. And after a three-galactic-standard-week gestation period , you open your eyes again, for the very first time. You begin to panic as your calloused eyes meet with the acidic, sulphuric, and saline solutions that give you life and fill your veins….
HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Creation of the first wave, and the start of a new darkness; On a barren asteroid far in the Ablajeck Sector, a dying man whose name was lost in time, had created his own replacement. The man was the last of his kind, having just lost a war-turned genocide, he needed to tell of the horrors and atrocities that both sides had committed, but most importantly that the ends justify all means. The man spent his last three years of life teaching the bright clone, three years of cramming the arts of war, industry, and survival into this one being. In the end, the last, true Kür'än withered away long ago, on a gods-forsaken asteroid. With the knowledge past onto him, the clone set out on a recon mission. A successful recon mission-turned battle for scrap-metal. This one clone went on to study the art of genetics using some… less than willing participants… And in seven galactic standard years, the first wave was gestated, educated, and readied for their first battle. This long forgotten battle showed their prowess, ingenuity, and sheer ruthlessness. This battle was easily won with little more than simple tools, and a slugthrower that was turned on it's previous wielders by the hands of the resourceful clones. This one, small battle sparked a machine, and it saw a bountiful galaxy before it, ready to survive by any means necessary. This battle showed how superior the clones were against those long forgotten farmhands, and as time and war raged on, The Kür'än lived on through these vessels of war, adopting them as their new visage. As more battles were won, The Kür'än grew more confident, more egotistical, more megalomaniacal. They started aiming higher, taking over any and all industries readily available and remotely accessible. Soon, The Kür'än began to see themselves as absolute and true. On one of the many raids, the first of many betrayals had occurred, so far, a few renegades and mercenaries had been taking advantage of The Kür'än's exploits. So far, The Kür'än had a shaky, unspoken alliance with these marauders, The Kür'än saw them as mere scavengers, not to mention they were simply good diversions, but as The Kür'än ambition grew, the resources sought by The Kür'än started to gain demand, and so The Kür'än's solution was to take what had been collected from the scavengers. Free labor is the best labor, as first said by Kür'än CCa-2333. The Kür'än saw themselves as the epitome of life, and others were unfit to share in it, and thus the new policy had gone into effect, "If you see something different, K.O.S." With that in mind, if the individuals in question surrender, the Kür’än will opt to use them rather than waste them, as seen here.
The Great Kür'än Ambition; With resources at an all time high, The Kür'än saw fit to expand their reach, they began to send scouting parties to distant planets, asteroids, and off-world colonies. Many came back with info about their own limitations, and so, The Kür'än rectified this, they began to shelter their now mutated bodies in full suits, with this compensation, The Kür'än Grand Ambition could go back into effect. The Kür'än set out to conquer the stars, and destroy all who were unfit to share this new universe….
The Effects of Time; over the centuries of warring, The Kür'än had changed themselves to be able to inhabit worlds that would surely kill anything less pure or unfit cuts of meat. The Kür'än Grand Ambition had seldom been revised at this point in time, as it was true, and just. It was the fire that burned in every Kür'än's six hearts, there was no room for improvement, it was perfect, it was correct, it was the solution.
Homeland; Soon, eyes had been pried, factions were bothered, and The Kür'än had found themselves at a stalemate for the past seven years, this meant that they needed to initiate their diabolical plan, and blow up their home base. With the scattered troops throughout the stars already, their plan was justified. Survival of the race was assured, and what was a few hundred-billion Kür'än clones in the face of The Grand Kür'än Ambition! Manufacturing facilities were built long ago on specific locations in the galaxy, perfect spots in which The Kür'än could weaken the insects from the inside, but for now, The Kür'än would gather their strength for the wars to come….
 
Last edited:
Skellege Nauss Skellege Nauss

Okay, there are a few things to look at.

1.) Origins: N/A (see Historical Records) - Please explain origins here. Readers should be able to tell the Origin at a glance. If you can add it to the History it can be added here too.

2.) Breathes: Type III or IV (see Historical Records) - Same as before. If you can add it to the History you can add it here too.

3.) Races: The Pure. Nothing more, nothing less.- You've already been asked not to have Nazi-esque/Supremacy fan-boy items in your submissions and this is no better. Choose a different way of saying...Whatever it is your trying to say that doesn't sound like casual antisemitism.
4.) Religion/Beliefs: Nazism, "Desertion is Heresy." - I don't know why this is such a difficult concept to grasp. You've been warned by the Site Owners to knock off any depiction of Nazi culture or wording but you're still doing it. From the General Rules:

12. Iconography or depictions of real-world extremist political groups, such as Nazis, KKK, ISIL, Russian, Soviet Union, Confederate States of America, etc. are prohibited.

Get it out of your head. Keep it out of your submissions, get it out of this submission, and off of this site. If I need to tell you a second time it will come with a ban. This species is all about purification and killing off other races and while we have had purifiers (Ex. The Brynadul) before but we've NEVER seen people openly leaning on Nazism to get it done. That's 100% unacceptable and must be fixed.

An example of a nod in the submission that doesn't help steer away from a Nazi theme:

Free labor is the best labor, as first said by Kür'än CCa-2333. The Kür'än saw themselves as the epitome of life, and others were unfit to share in it, and thus the new policy had gone into effect, "If you see someone different, K.O.S."

5.) Intent: Felt inspired by the daleks from Doc Who and the Highbreeds from Ben10 - I also see some inspiration here from the Death Korps but it isn't listed. This isn't the intent, you should list your inspirations in the "Links" section and link them appropriately. Doctor Who is pretty popular but Ben10 isn't. We want to be clear what we're drawing from other sources when we're deliberately doing it and it isn't ours.

6.) Half of your History has blurred text in it. Remove that code, so it isn't blurring half the sub.



Recap: Please thoroughly review everything I've mentioned above and address each point. Things that lead back to real-world extremist political groups are NOT and will NEVER BE okay. Tag me when you're ready for me to look again.
 
Srina Talon Srina Talon
Sorry sorry sorry! At the time of warning I had forgotten I used that word to describe the culture as at the time of writing in my mind that word only referred to the belief and not any one group. I am in no way meaning to idealize that particular system of belief, and once seen I swiftly moved to change it. When I read what you stated it felt like I had a red exclamation mark appear above my head as I realized I didn’t sift through my posts when I was warned about the usage of that word… I will be spending the next few minutes or so reading through all of my posts to ensure I got them all… once again, I am sorry! I hope I got all mentions in this one out…
Please don’t shoot me!
Anyway, moving forward, I 5ink I’ve addressed all other issues, and as for the blurred text bit, that was mostly just me trying something new and forgetting to remove it after moving the post from the pre-codex,
 
Last edited:
Skellege Nauss Skellege Nauss

No one is shooting anyone - I just need you to 100% understand our stance on the matter. The edits for this submission are acceptable but I hope I've made it clear without a shadow of a doubt that embodying, depicting, or, simply writing about real-world extremist political groups under another name will not be tolerated. Star Wars has some deep themes. Some aspects such as the Galactic Empire, did indeed, draw inspiration/influence from Nazi Germany but they never refer to themselves as "Nazis/Nazism" despite being a totalitarian regime.

The themes that you address in your submissions wouldn't be nearly as abhorrent if it was rooted more in Star Wars and less on the shock-value aspects of being "evil" wherein the submission both mentioned Nazi beliefs and race wars. I can't deny what the Star Wars franchise has done in the past, nor, what George Lucas or whomever else drew inspiration from but I can deny perpetuating it even further.

That is why Rule 12 exists in the General Rules. It's one of our most cut-and-dry stipulations. No, Nazi's.

If you have further concerns you may address them via Discord or Board PM - But this is your shot to do better. You know what not to do. You know what topics to avoid. You know that "Nazi" should never be in your posts in the first place. I'm looking forward to seeing you do better and adjust accordingly to the information provided. I WANT you to succeed and have a good time here. Please, do that.

I hope only to have positive things to say in the future. [APPROVED]
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom