Private The Jedi Arts

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Valery Noble

"I don't know, Val," Gatz spoke softly, wiping more sweat from his brow, "if that Sith hadn't turned into a Rakghoul, I'd be dead in the undercity of Taris. I got lucky. One day I won't. And I mean, it's not like there's anyone in my life left to mourn me, but I'd still prefer to live."

Wow. That was a depressing thought. And, somehow, it was the first time it had crossed his mind. It was true though: with Klein gone, he had no one left. When he died... there wouldn't be anyone to bury him. No one to organize the funeral—hell, there wouldn't be anyone to actually attend the funeral. There was no one left to miss him.

Gatz was glad that Valery had let him cry on her shoulder earlier. If she hadn't, that thought might have broken him. As it was though, his burdens had been lightened just enough for him to carry this new weight. So with a sigh, Gatz shook his head, and moved onto the actual problem.

"I, uh, oh man where do I start," Gatz let out a long breath, which turned into short rapid ones. Suddenly, it felt like there wasn't enough air in the... uh, air. He felt lightheaded. He felt panicked. Yet, Gatz couldn't put a finger on why. Damn New Cov air. Must have been the planet's fault.

All he knew was that he was anxious and afraid of the words that were about to leave his mouth.

"I—" Nope, didn't work. So Gatz swallowed past the lump in his throat and tried again, " Briana Sal-Soren and I have a permanent mind meld. As in, we can't separate our minds. We've tried. A lot. No dice. Just constantly aware of each other."

Each sentence was separated by a gasp of air. And each sentence became more flurried and rushed than the last. He still couldn't seem to take in enough oxygen, but he didn't really care about the very real threat of suffocating.

What was Valery going to think, knowing that her star pupil was brain-glued to scum like him? He still remembered what she'd accused him of, with Capris. Was this going to be worse? Was this it? Would she hate him? Would she abandon—

The edges of his vision went black, his mind fraying as his lungs wheezed for air. Gatz staggered down to one knee. Was he dying? It felt like dying. What was wrong with him? Was Valery doing this to him? As punishment?

You're having a panic attack.

Funny. That sounded like Briana, but it was his own thought. At least, he was pretty sure. It was hard to tell, with a mind addled by a lack of oxygen. Honestly, it didn't matter—these days his more logical thoughts came in the tones her voice anyways.

What mattered was Valery's response to his admission. And also that he couldn't breathe.

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

Valery perked a brow up just a little when she noticed just how difficult this seemed to be. It made her expect something terrible, but somewhat to her surprise, it wasn't exactly as bad as she thought it would be. A mind meld had its implications, sure, but nobody was harmed, killed or affected in a way that negatively altered lives forever. It was a relief, but it didn't really seem to be a relief to Gatz to tell her about it.

"Well, it's certainly not permanent," Valery said with hopes of maybe helping out. "There are ways to sever someone or even yourself from the Force entirely, so a bond or link that relies on it certainly can be severed too. You just haven't figured out how yet, but we can work that out, assuming that's what you two want." Valery had a Dyad with her husband, which went even beyond minds being linked the way he described it to be.

With any other person, it would have driven her insane, but her own partner wasn't too big of an issue. She could imagine that Gatz and Briana Sal-Soren weren't exactly looking to have their minds linked forever.

"I'm confident I can help with it, actually-" she stopped and frowned when she noticed that something was off about him. His breathing was labored and his skin tone was changing, so she quickly stepped forward and helped him sit down. She didn't know what was wrong just yet, but at least he wouldn't be able to fall and hurt himself if he sat down first. "Gatz? What's going on?" she asked, clearly worried about his well-being.

"Keep breathing, and stay calm. Do you feel any pain anywhere?" She was no medical expert, but breathing problems could hint at heart or lung issues, so she had to ask.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Valery Noble

His chest was tight. It hurt.

He saw Valery's lips moving, but it was like the words couldn't reach his ears. It was a shame too: her insistence that she could help break the mind meld would have reassured Gatz that he could give Briana her brain back. But for all he knew, she was lambasting him for being a part of the meld in the first place. But... no. As hazy as his vision was, he could make out the expression on her face.

She didn't look angry.

After he dropped to one knee, she seemed to catch on that something was up. She came over, and gently guided him to a bench. He offered no resistance—even if he'd wanted to, he wouldn't have had the strength to fight her. His breaths were rushed things, leaving his head swimming, and his body shaky and weak. But now that she was close enough, his brain was able to make out her words as faint whispers.

"Keep breathing, and stay calm. Do you feel any pain anywhere?"

Gatz managed to shake his head.

"Don't leave me!" He gasped out, "everyone always leaves me! It's not even my fault this time!"

That didn't even make sense to her, did it? It barely made sense to him. Gatz wished he could elaborate, but those few words had stolen what little air he'd managed to reclaim. So instead, he was forced to focus on breathing. Gasps escaped him more than anything, but slowly, the edges of panic were beginning to recede from his brain. It was too slow moving for his personal tastes, but it was clear that his mind and/or body didn't really care about what he wanted at the moment.

So he took it slow. Breathe in. Breathe out. Like Valery said.

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

"Don't leave me!"

Valery stopped, blinked and seemed quite surprised all of a sudden. Shocked, even. One moment, they were about to have a conversation regarding a peculiar link of minds between him and Briana, and now this? She wasn't really sure why he said it, because of all people, she had been the one constant in his life.

Or was there more to it all?

"Gatz, what's going on?" Valery asked with that same confusion in her voice. "Why would I leave? And what isn't your fault?" She shook her head a little, as she tried to figure it out.

Was it still about the bond or something else?

"I'm just trying to help."

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

His breathing slowed, and his mind, having been blue-screened with panic, began to return to something resembling normal. Thinking straight became less of an effort, and it was like oxygen was finding its way into his lungs again. He'd gobbled enough air that he could probably explain himself now, but Gatz still choose to take another half minute to breathe, until he was level again.

Or as close to level as he could get.

"I thought you'd be angry." He said quietly, his voice hoarse, "after what you accused me of with Capris... I know how protective you are of your Padawans. And I know you don't trust me. I... I thought you'd assume the worst of me again, because it involved Briana."

And, technically, she'd be right to. He'd invaded her mind, without her consent, and ripped her knowledge of Shii-Cho out. He'd only done it because it was literally do-or-die, but he'd still done it. The ends didn't justify the means—that was half the lesson of the Jedi Code. He'd committed a large breach of Briana's privacy, and broken an unspoken rule that they had both committed themselves to: don't barge into each other's brains without permission.

Briana understood, he knew. But that didn't absolve him.

"Everyone leaves me eventually. It's always my fault. But I didn't choose to be stuck in a meld with her. I mean, if it has to be someone, I'm glad it's Briana. But it isn't my fault this time!"

His breathing picked up again, and Gatz had to shut his mouth in order to focus on steadying himself.

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

"I care a lot about Briana, but a Force bond or a mind link doesn't worry me too much. It's not something you've intentionally created, so all that matters is how you choose to address it, or how you choose to live with it," Valery said, while she remained calm and gave him the time and space to keep himself composed as well. She wanted to be able to address the actual situation he was in with Briana, but they could only do that if they remained calm and focused.

She wasn't going to leave, and she would do her best to help.

"As for the mind link, I don't believe it's permanent. Jedi have been able to cut themselves from the Force entirely, and back when I became my old Enclave's Grandmaster, I learned how to sever others from the Force. It was a precaution we used whenever we exiled very dangerous individuals, and I've used it in combat on occasion as well." The Wall of Light she had used to end the war at Exegol was technically in the same family of abilities.

"I don't know how you feel about the link, but I doubt you two want it to stay. I have a very unique bond with my husband, and I know for certain that it would have driven me insane if it was anybody else. So... maybe I can try to help?"

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

"Briana and I will figure out something together. I only told you so you'd understand why Shii-Cho came to me so easily. Her knowledge is bleeding into my mind."

His breathing eased once more, but he didn't exactly feel any better. Valery's words danced around the problem he had, and the reason he'd been so wary of telling her the truth. Even now, she was only "okay" with the situation because it couldn't be pinned on him.

"It hurts me that you don't trust me. I'd die for any single member of your family—happily—but you still regard me as that same shady scoundrel who flew you to Erakhis."

It was a truth, and a pain, that he'd been holding onto for half a year. She always told him that she believed in him, always reassured him that he could be more, but her baseless accusation had been proof that she'd never meant any of it. Did she care about him? Obviously. Did she consider him a friend? Yeah. Would she help him when he needed it? Of course.

Did she trust him? He didn't think so. And if she still didn't trust him, after everything they'd been through, then she never would.

"I didn't want to tell you about the meld, because I didn't think you'd be fair to me. You weren't fair to me then. I was was millimeters away from being torn apart by a Sithspawn, and I threw myself at it so that Capris—who was going to fight it alone, by the way—was as far away as possible. I didn't have to. I had no obligation. But I did it, because it was what you would have done. I was trying to do right by you. And then you accused me of—of that."

Gatz looked down at a spot in-between his boots. Valery thought the real issue was the mind meld. It wasn't. One way or another, he and Briana would figure that out. Whether that meant finding out how to break it, or learning how to manage it, he didn't know. But they'd solve it. The real problem... was that Gatz didn't feel comfortable coming to Valery about it at all.

If she was training him, he had to be able to be open with her. Right now, he didn't feel like he could be.

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

"Really?"

Valery raised an eyebrow and bit back a flash of anger she felt, "I don't trust you? I've pulled you from the brink of death countless times, and brought you around my family when you've had bounty hunters chasing you down, but I don't trust you?" Valery shook her head and just couldn't believe what she was hearing. "My comment when you were with Capris wasn't meant even remotely as serious as you're making it sound."

"I didn't accuse you of anything specific at all, and all of this is just your own insecurities fabricating the worst scenarios in your mind. But why? If I didn't trust you or didn't think of you as a friend, then why would I be doing all of this for you?" Her frown deepened, and for the first time, she actually wasn't sure if that was going to continue anymore.

If he could never accept that she actually cared, despite everything she did for him, and was trying to do, then what was the point?

"It worries me that even after all this time, you still act like I'm the enemy as well, and I'm starting to feel like nothing I do is ever going to change that. Not when every little thing throws things upside down again."

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

"It upset me." Was Gatz's response. But there was no heat, or bite in his words. "And it made me feel like you didn't think I could be trusted around young women. I know I used to be a real piece of shit, but not like that. I promise you: never like that."

But what did that matter? She thought he was being dismissive of everything she'd ever offered him. He wasn't. He was grateful, so grateful that he was willing to die for her. He just... struggled with the idea that she might have perceived him as some sick, twisted man. And what she'd said that day made him worry that she did.

"I don't see you as the enemy. Never have. Just family. And I don't have that anymore. They all died. They all... left."

But that didn't matter either. Maybe he was destined to be alone. Maybe he deserved to be. All he knew was that it felt like Valery was about to leave him, and every fiber of his being was screaming at him to hold onto her so that she wouldn't.

"I didn't—I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate everything you've done for me. Of course I do. It's why I'd lay down my life for you, and your family. It's why I risked my life for Capris, when we still barely knew one another. It's why I keep coming along on these excursions of ours, even though they always end in pain for me. I love you, and I don't want you to ever think otherwise."

Gatz sighed.

"I just don't want you to think that I'd ever do something like that. And... it's worried me ever since that day. It made me scared to tell you about the mind meld. I'm sorry."

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

"I never once thought of you as someone who would be inappropriate to young women, Gatz," Valery continued. "Capris, and most Padawans my husband and I will train, are like daughters and sons to us. And just like any other caring parent, we'll be defensive and protective even if they themselves choose to bring someone they like home. That doesn't mean we don't trust that person or think negatively about them."

"It's just a parental thing. It's scary to see them become more and more independent."

Valery let out a soft sigh and raised a hand up through her hair. She didn't like seeing him this way, so she hoped the clarification and conversation would help a little. It was the only real thing she could try to address to make things better. His family situation wasn't something that anybody could change, no matter how much she wished she could.

"As for the link with Briana, it doesn't bother me. She's an adult and a very capable woman and Jedi. I'm sure you two will figure it out, and if you end up needing help, I trust you both to approach whoever you think can offer it."

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

"Thank you. I—most people just assume I'm a piece of shit. I guess I got used to expecting that from everyone. You wouldn't be sweet talking me into rejoining the Order if you thought I was a pedophile though," Gatz snorted, "so I guess I should have considered that."

It was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. There were still a dozen other things weighing him down, but even a slightly lesser burden was something to celebrate. At least his best friend didn't think he was some kind of creep. Gatz could deal with her wanting to strangle him, and he could deal with the glares.

He couldn't deal with abandonment.

Gatz let out a long sigh, and wiped a tear away from an eye he hadn't known was watering. It was hard not to believe that he was alone for a reason, when everyone he loved was buried in the same graveyard. It was his fault, right? Logically, he knew it wasn't: he didn't shoot his father or his uncle, and he didn't give mom her illness. But if he'd never returned from the Order, would at least dad and Klein still be alive?

"I... like the mind meld," Gatz admitted for the first time ever, "I mean, whatever Briana wants to do I'll go along with. Really, all I want to do is figure out how to give her more privacy. But it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I—Valery, I'm so alone that there's no one left to bury me. I buried my parents. I just buried my uncle. But when I die, there's no one to do that for me. Everyone who loves me is dead. In the end, they all leave me alone."

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

"I would have left a long time ago if I thought you'd be inappropriate to anybody, let alone underage women." As a Mother, anything that targeted children in harmful ways could make her blood boil. But she knew that Gatz wouldn't ever do that, and she very much didn't think of him as scum either. She never had, in fact, and with the way things were going now, she felt certain that she never would.

She was also happy to see some relief in his eyes, even though she understood there were other things to work on, still. But nobody could ever solve every problem at once. He'd have to take it one step at a time, and it seemed this was an important one. The mind link was perhaps the next thing to address, though it wasn't quite as problematic, she imagined.

If it was, she trusted that either Gatz or Briana would have told her right away.

"I... understand, Gatz," Valery said with a frown when he expressed how he felt about the bond. "The loneliness is something that I hope will fade, and you have myself and Briana to help you with that, bond or not. I just don't think this mind link is the healthy way to chip away at the problem. It wasn't developed by choice, and even if you figure out ways to offer each other privacy, true bonds between people should always form intentionally. Kahlil and I are husband and wife, so ours isn't really ever too much."

"I don't know how Briana feels about it, but for this to practically happen from one day to another... I can imagine that it's overwhelming as well."

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

The mere idea of Valery leaving made anxiety flare up in his chest again. He quelled it, though. Gatz had no plans of doing anything that would make Valery up and abandon him, though... that fear probably wasn't going to go away any time soon. Oh well. He could be content in knowing that she wasn't going to toss him aside today.

Tomorrow was a different question... but he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. If he came to it.

Valery was right though: relying on an invasive, and unplanned mind meld to cure his loneliness wasn't a healthy way of addressing it. He hated when she was right. Briana didn't deserve to be stuck to him like glue. No one should be forced to deal with his mind, and the whole host of problems that came with it. And his near-reluctance to give that up was only self-serving. Here he was, thinking about himself, when he should have been looking for solutions to this problem.

"Maybe... you should cut me off from the Force." Gatz said slowly, "for Briana's sake."

He had asked Valery once before, consumed with the fear that he'd eventually abuse his connection to the Force. She had, pretty clearly, told him that she wasn't comfortable with the idea. Truth be told, neither was he now. But... sometimes you had to make sacrifices for the people you cared about. Briana had been kind to him, unfailingly, despite knowing exactly what he'd been.

The least he could do was free her of him. She deserved that, at the very least. And the galaxy wouldn't be any lesser for him losing his connection to the Force.

"That would undoubtedly put an end to this meld, right?"

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

"It would end the meld, yes," Valery said, but purely to answer his question — the slight frown on her face would likely make it clear that she didn't like the idea. The Force was something inherently tied to life, and a Jedi's duty was to protect it. Taking the Force away, much like killing someone, was a last resort option for more serious situations to her. A Sith Lord such as Carnifex, who would never be redeemed, or even an exiled Jedi who would otherwise fall and wreak havoc on innocents.

Situations where cutting someone from the Force was an act to protect life. As frustrating and difficult as this bond was, she doubted that serious harm would come from it.

"I'd rather find a different way to sever the meld, and maybe my ability to sever someone from the Force will work to an extent. This meld without a doubt relies on the Force, so perhaps I can find a way to sever just the link, rather than your entire connection to the Force," she theorized. It clearly wasn't something she had ever done before, but then again, a bond like this wasn't exactly a common occurrence.

Everything was just a theory.

"A complete severing would be a last resort option if we exhausted every other idea. But it wouldn't be a comfortable experience. It's extremely painful to be severed from the Force."

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

It would work.

Valery was reluctant to admit that, it seemed. Just as she was reluctant to go through with the idea. But... she'd cut people off from the Force before. She could do it again. And for all her desire to explore other options, Gatz knew one truth: if it came down to it, and she had to make the choice, she'd rip the Force from his very being to preserve Briana's mind.

Of course, he'd make the very same decision. But it didn't make that thought any less chilling.

"I'm not sure there's much point in you training me, if you cutting me off from the Force is a real possibility," Gatz said glumly, feeling as though he was about to give up on a dream, "even if that possibility is a last resort. I'm sorry I've wasted your time."

It was a sting so visceral, it was like he could feel the pain in his chest. He hadn't made the decision to rejoin the Order. He hadn't built a lightsaber. But it felt like those possibilities were going to be sacrificed. And, yes, it was his own idea. Yes, he was willing to give those things up if it meant giving Briana her mind back. But it still hurt.

And it felt like he was going to lose his future. Or, at least, a lot of potential choices for his future.

Still, there was something they were neglecting to mention at this particular moment: Briana's choice in the matter. They could theorize all day on what would end the meld. They could make all the contingency plans they wanted to. But neither of them had any right to make a decision without Briana's input, even if they were acting in her best interest.

"I can't make a decision without talking to Briana." Gatz sighed, and finally looked from the ground to Valery, "and I don't want you to cut me off from the Force. But I would agree to it for her. And I know I'm asking a lot, but if that's the choice I make... please be the one to do it to me. I don't think I could trust anyone else."

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

"I'm not cutting you from the Force," Valery said with a raised eyebrow, "Even as a last resort option, I'm not going to do it unless this meld becomes harmful. We'll find a way to sever it, or else there might be a world of options to try and have you both block each other out under normal circumstances. To sever someone from the Force is..." she paused and frowned. "It's almost like you're asking me to kill someone."

She had hated it when she severed a Jedi who would otherwise fallen to the Dark Side and harmed many people, so severing a friend over a meld like this wasn't really something she wanted to do. Not unless it was absolutely necessary.

That said, she did agree with him — it was something to discuss with Briana first.

"I think it might be a good idea if I'm there when you talk to Briana. Because like I said, I'm first going to try and sever just the meld, and it's easier if we all discuss that together." There was a chance that Briana wouldn't even like taking that risk, and it'd be a fair way to look at it.

Her perspective mattered as much as Gatz's did.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

It was a stern refusal he was given, and though Gatz would have been annoyed in any other situation, right now he was only capable of gratitude. He had assumed that Valery would be furious with him, because the meld was with Briana, and he'd been wrong. He had assumed that she would have an easier time agreeing to sever him completely, because the meld was with Briana, and he'd been wrong.

Briana was like a daughter to her. He was just scoundrel scum who she'd happened upon when she needed someone with those kinds of skills. And yet, she was still just as concerned about him. Of course, if she had to cut one of them off from the Force, it would most certainly be him. If she could only save one of them, she'd save Briana. But that was a course of action he agreed with, so what point was there in feeling hurt about that?

She cared. That was more than anyone else in the galaxy offered him. And it was more than enough.

If it was possible to tackle someone in a hug, when both parties were already sitting on a bench, then Gatz most certainly did so to Valery. He held onto her tight—the closest thing he'd ever had to a sister, and the last family he had—and let out a shaky breath of air.

"Okay, no severing," Gatz spoke quietly, "thank you. I know I'm a lot of trouble. I'm sorry."

All the people he'd met on Nar Shaddaa would have gladly tossed him aside for the slightest inconvenience. All the people he'd worked with would have shot him in the back if it had made them a few extra credits. Even Roche, who'd been sort of like a father figure after his own had passed, had tried to kill him just to get one foot up on the ladder. Everyone he'd ever known in his adult life would have fought to push him down.

Here was someone fighting to lift him up, even as he fought her every step of the way. Maybe he ought to stop doing that.

"Thank you for—" Gatz paused, not sure how to even begin to quantify what she'd done for him, "—for everything. I promise, I'll make you proud someday."

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

Valery blinked when Gatz suddenly pulled her into another hug, and with her arms trapped against her sides, she couldn't really move much. After a moment, and hopefully him easing up a little on her, she snaked her arms out of the embrace and closed her own to pat him on the back. Today had been a roller-coaster of emotions for him, it seemed, so it only made sense that he wanted to show that relief he felt like this.

"You're not as much trouble as you think you are. I have triplets, so trust me, I'm used to a lot." She smirked and hoped her joke would keep the mood light and relaxed. The meld was still a serious thing they'd have to approach carefully, but she had a lot of experience, and she felt confident about handling this.

She didn't want to give them a reason to worry.

"As long as you stay true to who you are, and focus on who you want to be, I'll always be proud," she said with a genuine, warm tone. The only thing that would ever disappoint her, was if he gave up on all of that. If he decided to go back to his old life, or go down a different, darker path.

This journey he was on wouldn't be easy, but it'd ultimately be the most rewarding for him and those around him.

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

It took a moment for Gatz to realize that he was probably crushing Valery. Well, 'crushing' was a relative term. She could bend him into a pretzel with one hand, and could certainly break the hold his tight hug had on her. She just didn't want to break his limbs.

"Sorry."

Gatz lightened his hold, enough for Valery to return his hug. He let out another long sigh as her hand pat his back. Two hugs in a day was a bit much even for a hugger like he was, but in this one instance, he would allow himself to be selfish. He used the embrace as a way to finally stabilize himself, and the dregs of panic that had remained in him finally coiled back up inside his heart.

His issues were far from solved, but Gatz was no longer afraid of being abandoned by Valery.

Her joke was enough to evoke a chuckle from him: the triplets were chaos incarnate. He called Vera a troublemaker, but Aeryn and Adam were the real riot. Gatz wasn't sure how Valery managed to stay sane. At least Aurra was—relatively—calm.

"As long as you stay true to who you are, and focus on who you want to be, I'll always be proud."

The warmth in her voice was something that Gatz was simply unaccustomed to, after so much time alone in Hutt space. Tears pricked at his eyes, and a lump formed in his throat. He hugged her a little tighter then, but immediately loosened after he realized that he was trying to crush her again. It was hard not to squeeze tight when he felt as grateful as he did in this moment, and as safe and cared for as he did.

But, eventually, he did extricate himself from her arms.

"I'm trying my best." He admitted, "I know who I want to be. I just don't know how to get there. I don't think that I can, on my own."

 

[Valery Noble]

New Cov Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Gatz Derrevar

"Most people can't really do that on their own, and I don't think it's something you should want to do alone," Valery said after hugs broke, and the conversation continued a little again. It was still an important topic, so as much relief as he felt already, she didn't want to abandon it just yet. There was a lot to say, and perhaps it'd help him feel a little more confident about it. He needed to know that he wasn't meant to do it alone.

"We're all different, but a good life is generally one shared with other people. The bad moments, the good moments, and both learning and teaching. I'm the way that I am, not because I figured everything out alone either. I had a Master, I've had friends helping me, and even now, I change and learn because of others." Kahlil had been the reason she wasn't so extreme about the Dark Side anymore, and the Jedi post-stasis had allowed her to love and feel emotions.

A lot has changed because of other people.

"To me, it makes things a lot more fun, too."