Show Us Your Guns, Boys! | ORC Dominion of Elysian

[Joza Perl]

​

Elysian​

Stretched a little too thin in supporting refugees, Heartbeat House made the only logical move forward: host an all-male beauty pageant featuring the men of The Outer Rim Coalition with all proceeds going towards the production and purchase of aid supplies for displaced peoples. The beaches of Elysian served as the perfect backdrop to the beefcake competition, a makeshift stage being set up while spectators filled the seats.

A small participation prize will be awarded to all competitors/guests with 3+ posts, and more substantial prizes will be awarded to the winner and runner up!

Objective 1: Competitor

Male? Then congratulations, you’re in! The competition will be divided into three segments: Swimsuit showcase, interview, and talent. There are no OOC signups, so feel free to enter the thread with your character strutting their stuff on stage in the swimsuit portion. Pictures are welcome, so long as they’re sfw. The talent portion will follow after that, and the competition will close with a single question interview for each contestant. Before the winner is announced, spectators will bid on each competitor to win a date with them!

Objective 2: Spectator

Female? Male but don’t want to be objectified in front of a crowd? Join in as a spectator! Before the winner is announced, all spectators will have the option of bidding on each competitor for a date with them (no hanky panky unless you’re both down with that).

Objective 3: BYOO

Not interested in the beefcake competition? As always, feel free to bring your own objective!

Remember, this is supposed to be a fun, relaxed story so feel free to jump in at any point! Many will enter, but only one man can be crowned…

---

Joza Perl perched on the edge of the stage, legs crossed as she scrolled through the datapad in her hand. Today would be a first for all of them—the Mr. Heartbeat Pageant, a design of Outer Rim inebriation. Unlike most ideas born out of endless ale, this one stuck long after the drink left their system. Heartbeat’s finances had dipped since the renovations of Blush on Zeltros, and it would take a bit longer than she’d initially estimated for the entertainment company to be in the green again. What does a girl do when she’s running short on cash? Hold a beefcake competition, that’s what.

Luckily the Coalition seemed to be all for it, and with their help the Zeltron chose Elysian, a nice little world nearby with some pleasant terrain. Joza herself was ready for the completion—hair in beachy waves, bikini with a cute sarong around her waist. She wasn’t absolutely glamorized, nor was she topless for this beach adventure considering that this time around, it was all about glistening pectorals and not…

…yeah.

The seats were filling with guests as contestants would soon begin the first part of the competition: the swimsuit portion.

“Alright,”

Standing, she smoothed the sarong around her waist, datapad tucked under her arm for the moment.

“I’m ready for the gun show.”

 

[Klesta]

Objective 2: Spectator
Post: 1/20

Yula was going to spectate in this competition because of her cover as a journalist. Sure, these days, she was often away from her squadron members or, for that matter, Julie. But today was different: Julie was going to spectate, too. For civilian social functions, she preferred her green undress uniform, which was a holdover of her time in the Silver Jedi Navy, but then again, the SJN had a different set of uniforms for Jedi vs. NFU personnel, even for commissioned officers. Also Yula was wearing the Outback dress uniform, which was very similar to the Commonwealth blue dress uniform; she feels that the white one would indicate that she has turned to the light side of the Force, which couldn't be further from the truth. Oh, of course, she would have to take notes but the real business for which she came would have to be done once the actual competition began. Just that they had a conversation about what their working relationship has become, despite the fact thay they lie on opposite sides of the Force.

"After what happened in the Midvinter debacle, I feel that we are doing more posturing than any real combat maneuvering against the Sith Order, commodore" Yula told her superior, in a tone that would suggest some anguish or another reason to suspect a lowered morale.

"Quiet. I've known how the Sith navy operates for longer than you. They did the only thing that made sense: retreat to the fastness of the Caldera. They fear any naval commanders with any connection, no matter how tenuous, to Jedi and not just because their naval training is substandard" Julie whispered to Yula.

"You've got to ask, Julie, who, among the participants, will fall for navy ladies?"

 

[Nate Phantoms]

Spoiler

Too bad I'm not fond of posting selfies on the internet. But, we look relatively alike, so it works.

Objective: Numero Uno.
Post: 1/??

If the spectators found a few scars and a handsome face attractive, he'd win. If not, he'd be out of luck. The majority of his scars had been covered up as he was all lathered up and shiny. Some, the more larger one's were more visible, but he felt that as they ran down his torso, they would only draw in the spectators even more.

"Oh... don't mind If I comment..." His ship's first mate's voice piped up from behind him as he felt her apply some more oil onto his back. "but you look pretty damn good." Flirting, as per the usual. She had a crush on him for a while now, and always made a move towards him, no matter the circumstances. Turning to look over his shoulder at her, he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, so I've heard. But you do know I'm married, correct?" Turning back he examined him self in the mirror, still contemplating whether or not he should cover his fiery eyes with contacts, perhaps go back to the soft brown they were before... everything.

"Yeah, absolutely. Still cant and wont hurt to tell the cap I think he's smexy." Giggling, she stood before him, nodding approvingly with a wink. "All set big boy, go get em."

 

[Bryce Bantam]

X <-- Hit my music

Spoiler

As Bryce's music began to play he walked up to his friend getting oiled up in the mirror. Slapping him on the shoulder Bryce shot him a quick smile before saying...

"You look fine buddy, hope you like second place, cause this title is mine!"

With a rye wink he walked through the curtain and into the stage. Still wearing a suit jacket and pants he get some strange stairs as he emerged. Some may have noticed he was not wearing shoe's and if they did then they could have probably guessed what was coming next. As the guitar riff hit he grabbed his suit jacket with both hands, opening it up to reveal his tanned oiled chest. With a smile he pulled it off and began to spin it over his head. As the chorus dropped so did his pants. With a simple tug his pulled his break ways pants to reveal he was only wearing a white speedo with "Redz Rule!" written on the butt.

Throwing his pants and jacket into the crowd he began walking up to the front of the stage. As he did gyrating in a manner only a mildly coordinated white man could. Sauntering over to a large brass pole Joza had set up Bryce put his back to it and grabbed it begin his head. With a rather her key jerky pelvic thrusting kinda motion begin squatting up and down to the music. As the second choirs hit he was really feeling it so he decided to get daring. Climbing up a few feet on the pole he began awkwardly spinning faster and faster till his oiled hands couldn't hold onto the bar any longer. Slipping down he ended up back on the ground in a split position.

The pain of such a landing was, well unpleasant to say the least. Still he tried to play it off, banding his head to the music and thankful that he had been taking Layla's yoga lessons to make such a position even possible to him. Pulling his legs back under him he took a bow and waited for the judges marks.

[member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"] | [member="Joza Perl"] | @Kimiko

 

[Cear'bhaill]

Objective: 2, convince a certain someone to join competition first
Post: 1/??

Ever since waking up from her four-thousand plus year slumber, the woman had been introduced to the new Galaxy at a break-neck pace. Her eyes had seen some of the most interesting new technology, places, and people. But none of it trumped the all male pageant she was now attending.

Granted, it was at the behest of the man who woke her, as he was still attempting to convince her to join his group of rebels, but here she was nonethless.

It was a beach, so attire was relaxed for her; a recently purchased one-piece under a light-blue sundress, with flip-flops on her feet, pair of shades over her violet eyes, and straw hat for shade. She was always one for modesty.

Her target appeared to be in deep contemplation near recently acquired vessel. On what, she had a good idea as she approached.

"Hello Dax." she began, warmly as to not raise any suspicion,"I assume you are here for the show?"

[member="Dax Fyre"] / [member="Kimiko"] / [member="Bryce Bantam"] / [member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"] / [member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Dax Perl]

There Dax stood, leaning against the Azalea deep in thought. Although what it was was certainly not what [member="Cear'bhaill"] must've thought it was as she approached in her blue dress. "Hmm? Oh, hey Cear. More so here for you." he said, standing to his full height. "You gotta admit. There aren't many governments out there that host a competition like this to raise funds right?" He was still trying to get the woman to join the now named Coalition. The only reason he'd even come to this event was because he wanted to show the woman that the Undergrounder knew how to have a good time, not just kick ass when needed.

Blue board short which faded to black and a white tank top with blue stripes across it, the man looked ready to go surfing. And in fact that was his plan. Talk with Cear for a bit, see what she thought, catch up, then hit the waves and take his mind off his other problems for a while. It had been a while see he'd acquainted himself with the deep blue.

[member="Bryce Bantam"], [member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"], [member="Joza Perl"], [member="Kimiko"]

 

[Kimiko Taiyou]

Objective: 2, Enjoy the show!...not to much.
Post 1/??

The increasingly pregnant Kitsune was situated in the audience...right next to the stage. She had made the show alone, since the women of her crew were more into, well, each other, than a bunch of nearly naked men dancing on stage for their enjoyment. Oh well, their loss.

She was here to have fun and enjoy the show. But there was one contestant in particular she eagerly awaited...

As she sat though, she joined her hands over her now large stomach, earning herself little kick from the boy within. Ki giggled.

The beach beyond was exciting to be on and she made sure to dress appropriately; a specially made one-piece she got to fit her larger stomach, beneath a plain white beach dress that covered most of her legs, and a wide-brimmed hat, with holes for her ears of course. Her hair was actually braided for the occasion instead of left to hang.

Cue the music...

The crowd, of mostly women, erupted in cheer. She joined in as she stood with the group around her.

First up, was none other than [member="Bryce Bantam"], and the show he put on actually caused some of the weaker one to faint. Ki herself cheered loudly for the man, he did rescue her from a life of slavery, adding in a rather impressive whistle as she spun her towel above her head in rhythm with the beat.

The pageant had begun!

[member="Dax Fyre"] / [member="Cear'bhaill"] / [member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"] / [member="Yula Knezevic"] / [member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Julius Sedaire]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL-QHEypqt4​

​

... Except the marks never came for young [member="Bryce Bantam"]. As he sat waiting, panting from a poor landing, the lights dimmed. A rippling sound of audio changes, and a fizzing pop of something being plugged in were the only sounds for a moment. An excited jawa had climbed into the booth and began frantically hitting buttons and dials. Suddenly a dozen lights trained on a lone figure in a black cowboy hat and western shirt and black denim trousers (jeans, ya'll). The music that began to play was pure Corellian honky-tonk from the more rough and rural areas of that fabled planet. As the bass and twang began, the left foot of the figure began to tap in time to the music, back and forth. Then the right arm, as if pumping or playing on an invisible guitar.

With a crescendo of the music, the head lifted up to reveal a smirking Julius Sedaire, none other, who pointed at his young opponent with a wink and broadened grin! Spinning about to grab a flung beer, he grasped the full bottle with ease, winking at the disgruntled aging hutt-ball mom who had been fawning over Bryce. Opening the bottle with ease, he began to positively strut and shimmy to the music, running fingers along the chins of young and old women alike, generally making a likeable nuisance of himself. Rather than the same raw charm of any gutter performer Nar Shadda could must, Julius went with class. Eventually the shirt came off, revealing a rarely displayed sight. A torso and limbs covered in metallic vine patterns in between old Military insignias ranging from the Galactic Alliance to the Republic and even a Mandalorian Clan Crest. The belt buckle, obnoxiously large, was taken off by a furiously blushing woman with a 'Bride to Be' sash around her. He kindly let her keep the buckle.

Eventually the music would die, and Julius would stand next to Bryce in naught but a pair of well made swim trunks that looked more in place at a beach than the cheaper areas of Zeltros' red light district, and lovely hat. With a flourish, in fact, Julius produced a red light disc from somewhere, and kindly handed it to Bryce with an exaggerated gesture before he flourished the beer bottle to the crowd and finished it in a single go. When it came to making an entrance, and upstaging and making a fool of himself in a grand fashion (particularly the last bit) there were few better at the game than he, and without a doubt he had just proven that.

[member="Joza Perl"]

 

[Jorus Merrill]

Spotlights converged-

"YARRRRROOO!"

-on a muscular silver Wookiee in a very skimpy bandolier. Your average Wookiee bandolier was eight to twelve inches wide, suitable for displaying trophies or mounting utility packs. This one resembled nothing so much as a garter belt: a narrow strip of pink lace looping from left hip to right shoulder.

You ever see a Wookiee dance for charity? It's quite a sight. General Beyyr gave it his all, culminating in a wild spin that draped him over a chair as a clawed hand yanked a lever to douse him in water.

 

[Jessica Med-Beq]

Objective 2: Spectator
Post: 2/20

It feels a little weird to Jessica to be attending a male beauty pageant: for some reason it reminded her of several things. Like the lead-up that led to Jessica ultimately rejecting the Mando modeling contract, even though she is wearing the very stuff that Mandos would have made her wear if she ultimately became a model, like this purple bikini and a sarong that looks like it would be a little short for someone with the morphology of a female Wookiee. Speaking of female Wookiees, she was once mistaken for one, but she knew that [member="General Beyyr"] would not fall for such a trick: it would be as clear as day to the Wookiee that Jessica is a human or one of those many Near-Human species that can have complexions like hers. Or these charity date auctions, where there were many more participants of one gender than the other. But clearly she let Summer take care of her little Ziana; she appeared more adept with young children than Jessica was. Oh and since Julie was also attending, wearing green Jedi robes, and visibly not going to be placing bids. Whatever credibility I have to be the sexiest woman in the galaxy, it'd better lead me to a situation where I can minimize the risk of the winner's curse, regardless of whether or not collusion is allowed: the host, and a few other women in the audience seem to have just as much credibility as I've got, she thought, upon seeing [member="Cear'bhaill"], [member="Joza Perl"] and [member="Kimiko"], in that order. Also [member="Julius Sedaire"], [member="Bryce Bantam"] and [member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"] were in attendance, one way or another...

"Too pretty to be true! A date auction!"

"I'll be mindful of the winner's curse" she told Julie.

"What do you mean, winner's curse?"

"It has to do with bidding in auctions: the more bidders there are, the more likely the winner is to overpay"

 

[Nate Phantoms]

Objective: Numero Uno; Win.
Post: 2/??

"Oh my.... I do like myself a ginger." No brown eyes turned to look at the woman, waving a hand questionably.

"But a space cowboy isn't?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, I never said that. And of course not... he's sexy too." Turning back the man examined him self in the mirror. Low sitting black jeans, a pair of suspenders and fire crewman helmet, his dark hair falling through. Looking out, he smiled faintly, shrugging. "Gotta give it to my man; he's got an ass for that slim body of his."

"Oh yeah, nothing like you huh man?" A new voice emerged, a quick smack on such assets making him turn to find a similar dressed man. One whom he'd been through hell with in his earlier days.

"Trent? What the hell are you doing here?!?" Moving forward he gave his friend a manly hug, as manly as he could muster as they were both shirtless. The two long time companions split ways after a job went wrong. They each took the pay and blasted. But that was a different story. After going into brief detail about his trip, destination and how he got there, he agreed to be his wing-man for his exposition.

As they other three contestants finished up, the music died, normal strobe light switching out for black lights as mist crawled across the stage. Soon enough, a steady low rhythmic bass line could be heard, lights flickering as the two figures stood behind the wall of mist, building up anticipation. Sliding forward on their feet, they moved in sync, gleaming bodies emerging; a little sashay for effect like they do in the holo-flicks.

As the beat increased, the duo broke out into the moves, still in harmony. One thing many did not know bout him, what the fact that he had hella rhythm. Dropping low, he did something he never imagined him self to be doing.

Droppin' it like it's hot.

Ass facing out wards, the two dropped to the ground, spinning around on their sides before coming to stop posed. Heads held up on their hands, abs rather apparent as they flexed.

[member="Julius Sedaire"], [member="Kimiko"], [member="Joza Perl"], [member="Dax Fyre"], [member="Bryce Bantam"]

 

[Mother Arg'garok]

Spectator

Normally, Mother Arg'garok would spend some time at the local hospital. The large, barrel-shaped nun was hard to miss. She had some girth on her, belly and triple chins swaying with every waddling step. One of the assistant medics had asked her to please fill in as onsite medical care for anyone who might find injury in the spectacle.

Being the nice, elderly nun that she was, Mother Arg'garok had readily agreed with a snort and grunt, a wide toothy grin flashing. Even the morrts seemed to approved, the parasites that decorated her face like beauty marks giving a squrim of glee.

From what she heard, it had to deal with music. Oh she loved music! A happy grunt shuddered from her snout, nun robes fluttering along her shapely calves. Indeed, she had just told Urg - one of the morrts along her upper lip - that it would be nice to get back in touch with the music scene. Oh she dearly enjoyed the opera.

However, it was with much confusion as her tiny green ears perked at the crescendoing beat. What was that? Her black beady eyes gave a squint in confusion. There was a larger crowd here. Oh goodness, so many!

In between apologetic grunts and accidently bumps of her belly against other patrons, the elderly Gammorean did the slow weave to get a better look.

Needless to say, did her tusks ever drop in a half incredulous grunt snort at the gyrating hips of the skinny male huuumans on the stage.

Snort, snort, grunt, and a gasp of, "Ohmy!"

 

[TC-91]

Objective 2: Enjoy...but not too much.
Post: 1

A male beauty pageant was the last event that Nawago expected himself to be attended. Men flexing and showing off their muscles in front of an audience never exactly appealed to him, although that could've just been because he is a giant, furry, creature. His main incentive for his showing up was to support the show's cause in aiding refugees. That purpose was good enough for him; all refugees were just people placed in a terrible situation who deserved none of the trouble that befell them. He would've even funneled some of his own credits towards the cause if he had any, but he just never found an opportunity to make an ample amount of money. One thing was for certain, the show was a good opportunity to leave his dwellings and enjoy the show.

He searched around for a few minutes before jumping down on, and nearly breaking, the undersized seat. The two observers on both sides of him turned to comment in anger before turning pale from the realization of the Wampa that was more than twice their size. This didn't go unnoticed by Nawago, and he rose back up to avoid the discomfort of himself and those next to him. He heard his stomach growl at him, and decided to check out what the stands were offering. Funneling through a small pouch that he carried with him, he dropped the few credits that he had in exchange for a package of Tauntaun jerky, an animal that he never thought he would have again. Beginning to shovel packages of the food into his mouth, the show began.

A few of the contestants were recognized by him, and the bulk of the audience were infatuated with them as they walked around the stage. He cheered for each of them, showing support as they passed by. What he didn't expect was a Wookiee being one of the contestants, attempting to be crowned the king of the pageant. It was certainly a sight to behold, as the Wookiee appealed to him the most. It may have been the courage or the fact that they both had fur, but he knew who he wished to win now. What an interesting pageant, this would be.

[member="General Beyyr"] | [member="Joza Perl"] | [member="Yula Knezevic"] | [member="Mother Arg'garok "]| [member="Jessica Med-Beq"] | [member="Kimiko"] | [member="Dax Fyre"]

 

[Rekha Kaarde]

Objective 2

Oh now this was unusual. But hey when on Elysian do as the Elysians do so, here she sat in her version of a han solo outfit. Black vest, black pants, knee high boots, white shirt open at the throat and a drink in one hand. Her gaze was on the runway, stage, whatever they called it. The room was already heating with with the different aromas of oil, hair product, and hot lights.

Flashes of light blinked to her left as holo photos were taken, colored lights filled every corner of the stage enhancing the form of each contestant. Someone had taken their time in figureing this out.

In all her travels she had never been to a male....beauty pageant. She laughed, and hollered as the guys strut their stuff to music she could actually understand, and appreciate. They were bearing more skin than she had seen in a over a year at least they all seemed to be having a good time.

She knew she wouldn't stay here for the whole show there was too much to do, and she had an issue sitting still too long. But she wanted to show support for those in the Underground as she could. She couldn't imagine doing this on Bespin First Order would shut her down in a hot minute, well maybe they wouldn't.

"WOOO HOOOOOO" She called to the next contestant. All while the ear worm sang this song ---

Yeah, yeah
When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah
This is how I roll, animal print, pants outta control,
It's Redfoo with the big afro
And like Bruce Leroy I got the glow

Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out
Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out

When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it

I'm sexy and I know it

Yeah
When I'm at the mall, security just can't fight them off
And when I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks (what)
This is how I roll, come on ladies it's time to go
We headed to the bar, baby don't be nervous
No shoes, no shirt, and I still get serviced (watch)

Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out
Ah... Girl look at that body
I work out

When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it

I'm sexy and I know it

I'm sexy and I know it...

Check it out ​

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah, yeah
Do the wiggle man
I do the wiggle man
Yeah
I'm sexy and I know it

Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out
Ah... Girl look at that body
Ah... I work out

Yeah I'm sexy and I know it!​

[member="Nawago"] [member="Mother Arg'garok "] [member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"] [member="Bryce Bantam"] [member="Joza Perl"]​

 

[James Justice]

Objective: 1
Post: 1/20

A hot gush of wind could be felt covering the crowd, knocking over unsecured hats, drinks, small pets, and food alike. Hair was whipped in all different directions. Over head the Nestis Cora could be seen coming closer to the surface, descending and decloaking at the same time. Over the hot and unholy roar of engines a growing shrill scream from a guitar could he heard, threatening to blast everyone's eardrums beyond repair.

[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCxn0KVl03Q[/media]

As the drums kicked in the loading ramp of the hovering ship popped open and a lone silhouette stood at the entrance, unable to be made out against the bright light behind him. With a single step forward, the figure was sent gliding through the air fearlessly. Drawing on the Force, the show off slowed his descent twisting in a graceful arc that circled the crowd and landed at the base of the stage.

James' boots hit the stage with a graceful landing, arms spread wide to the crowd in a grandiose gesture.

His hair was even more disheveled than usual, the matching leather jacket and pants that clad his body glistened in the stage lights. But only for a moment before the underbelly of the Nestis lit the crowd with a laser and strobe light show that would have have been an epileptic's worst nightmare. Twisting, spinning, and dancing in the way only a man raised in the nightclubs could do, James unzipped his jacket, revealing his chiseled and amply-scarred body as he tossed it into the crowd. And as for the pants? Well they had to go too with a quick tug the tear away pants were gone, leaving the Lord of Vice in a pair of very formfitting black swim trunks.

With one more final spin or two to give the crowd a chance to get an eye full of him, the spacer made his way off stage.

 

[Jessica Med-Beq]

Objective: Spectator
Post: 3/20

"I accept readily that there is no single sexiest woman in the galaxy, only, as you would say, credibility to this end. However, when I still served the SJ Navy, the Silver Jedi military used to hold their own beauty pageants" Julie told Jessica.

"Beyond the traditional items of beauty pageants, were there other items that were included?"

"These were held on a yearly basis, and these were subject to change year-on-year. Each year was different, but there were always three skill competitions, each of which favored a particular branch"

The pageant venue was getting increasingly crowded, with each new spectator, including [member="Nawago"], [member="Rekha Kaarde"], [member="Mother Arg'garok "]and a few more, and a new contestant, [member="James Justice"], coming in. Yet Jessica knew better than to expect the competitors to be subjected to the same skill competitions as a military beauty pageant as described by Julie, if only because it was a civilian beauty pageant. Only with Julie had naval organization been on the table. But it was pleasant to see that it wasn't a purely beauty competition, in which case only the cause led her here, yet in Jessica's game plan, it was wise to wait until the question period was over to begin active bids. Even if it means that there are bidding wars afoot. But the key to winning such bidding wars is to bid in terms of items and their value, not in terms of cash here, even though cash is usually the way to go for other charity-based events of the sort.

 

[Joza Perl]

Post: #2

If there was one thing Joza could be sure of, it was that the men of the Outer Rim Coalition could certainly bring it. It being sick dance moves, finely muscled bodies and bammin’ slammin’ badonkadonks. And of course that roguish charm! Had she been a very different woman, she would have fainted by now.

No, it was the equivalent of whatever Christmas was. There may have been a reason that this was a male beauty pageant.

“First up is [member="Bryce Bantam"], the Heavy Metal Master!” She watched with baited fascination as the doctor twirled down the pole, eventually ending in a split as he dropped back down to the floor—legs spread. The man was not the absolute best dancer, but damn if he didn’t put on a good show that had ladies screaming for him in the audience. “Work that pole, Bantam! Show them that reds do it best!” She was impressed that the landing didn’t seem to hurt him—that, or she missed any flickers of pain in his expression.

“Oh?” As the stage lighting dimmed, Joza glanced upwards before her eyes were drawn to a lone figure where the lights converged. The music shifted, and the mystery man tilted his head upwards to reveal his face. “Oh! It’s [member="Julius Sedaire"]!” Even if she wanted too, she couldn’t look away from the bouncing Corellian booty who managed to catch a bottle of beer tossed from somewhere in the audience. Wait, was that even legal? Ah, but anything went in the ORC. Except for murder. Okay, maybe sometimes, murder. But not on stage, of course. “What an entrance! And a backside to match, if I do say so. What do you think ladies?” She’d leave the crowd to decide that.

“[member="General Beyyr"] is going hard!” At some point Joza had acquired a mixed drink, alternating between sipping the cocktail and commentating. “Never seen a Wookie move it like that!” The good general would find a heap of towels waiting for him backstage, if only to help curb the wet Wookie smell. “And who knew that [member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"] could shake it like a polaroid!” The reference was something she didn’t understand, but nonetheless heard somewhere at some point and deemed in appropriate. The screaming crowd was likely more transfixed by the beefcake buffet at this point, as a chorus of girlish scream erupted from the crowd at the booty poppin’ goodness. “What a duo, huh? Phantoms and his friend got booty for days!”

Given the pole dancing, beer chugging and surprise water showers, Joza was surprised that someone hadn’t started off their performance by crashing and X-wing into the stage. Thankfully @Mother Arg’garok had generously agreed to spectate and provide the medical aid she was sure they’d probably need at some point. This was the Outer Rim, after all.

A sudden gust of wind would shift through the stage and accompanying crowd, strong enough to garner the attention of most onlookers. “What the f—“ Joza’s eyes squinted, looking upwards to see…a ship blasting music? It was beginning to look like word has spread. The ship’s maw opened and a lone figure dropped down, hitting the stage and striking a pose. “Looks like we have a bit of a late entry—welcome to the stage, [member="James Justice"]!” The last time she’d seen him had been quite a while ago, and somehow it made perfect sense for James to join in on the fun. “Looks like we’ve got our token bad boy!”

The stage began to settle, and the competition moved on. “Next up is the talent portion. I hope you’ve all prepared a little something!” The contestants would be free to display their special skill to the crowd, provided it wasn’t horribly nsfw.

OOC: If you’ve missed the first part and would still like to enter, feel free to post a swimsuit entrance at any time and it’ll be assumed that it happened at the beginning of the competition. Contestants, post your talent portions as you will!

 

[Cear'bhaill]

Objective: 2, maybe 3?
Post: 2/??

Cear nodded, turning her head in the direction of increased applause and cheering. The pageant must have begun. If the ancient Jedi was honest, it didn't sound to inviting.

"I must admit, it's definitely an interesting way indeed." she looked back at her friend, brow furrowed in curiosity,"Tell me, do you intend on competing?"

[member="Dax Fyre"]

 

[Jorus Merrill]

Objective 3: Be somewhere else. Anywhere else.

A large spaceport had sprung up on an island near the Thul Estate. [member="Elaine Thul"] constituted an unknown quantity: a rogue Alderaanian noblewoman and business magnate who'd brought a significant influx of culture and capital to Elysian. A couple of years ago, before her death, [member="Ria Misrani"] had once informed him of Thul's offers of elite military aid to Naboo, and Thul forces had helped secure Coruscant as well. Not someone Jorus wanted to poke, but one couldn't gain influence on Elysian without at least working in the same general area as House Thul. The planet's leadership had decided to join the Outer Rim Coalition; right now, the Underground had no idea what Thul's opinion on that might be.

None of that had brought him to this spaceport, though. He'd come here to find secondhand Alderaanian ship parts, and to avoid the painful mental image of [member="Julius Sedaire"], [member="Bryce Bantam"], and [member="General Beyyr"] participating in [member="Joza Perl"]'s fundraiser.

The Wretched Hive, at a hundred forty metres, took up one of the spaceport's larger landing pads, and he'd paid through the nose for it. Thanks to the constant influx of rare animal transports and gladiators for the House Thul contests, docking space rented at a premium here. Still, for Wild Space, Elysian was as close as you could get to well-connected. So far he'd amassed a tidy bundle of Core Worlds starship components, and taken on a couple of commissions for ship mods. Right now Dingo Darr and the boys were retrofitting some Alderaanian noble's cloud car. They'd opened that hangar for some fresh air and natural light, and the sounds of power tools percolated through the spaceport. Any publicity, after all, was good publicity.

 

[Zef Halo]

SOMEWHERE ELSE. ANYWHERE ELSE.
OBJECTIVE THREE.

"Easy now. Steady, steady." Agenor stood nervous in the co-pilot seat of the Argo trying to teach the new boy how to pilot the Argo. His name was Ned Kaven, but he was renamed to 'The Intern' by the rest of the crew. The young human boy was merely twenty one years old and had graduated a flight school somewhere in the Mid Rim. He was talented, alright, but he lacked the experience their previous pilot, now a married man, had.

The crew of the Argo had gathered on the top deck where the pilot and co-pilot stations were to observe the intern's landing. While the captain was sweating through every pore of his body, the crew were barely withholding their laughter. One of them almost dropped a cackle but Dyre's stern piercing glance made him think twice.

"Why don't we set it on autopilot, Cap'n. It's not lik-" Someone from the crew began but Agenor cut him off without even looking.

"Shut up." Dyre turned back to their pilot. "Alright, steady, steady. Slightly to shift her starboard. Yes, no, no, no, no. Decelerate, decelerate, boy. Yes, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO. Shiiiiiiii-"

The thud that followed silenced his curses. The rest of the crew almost tripped, their only saving grace was that they had activated their magnetic soles. Nonetheless, they all couldn't help but explode into laughter while Agenor sat with his hands on his face.

"Argo, this is Elysian Traffic Control. Leave your ship and standby for inspection of piloting licenses and blood-alcohol content. Over and out."

The crew made haste to leave the ship as they had been in voyage for quite a long time now. Dyre felt proud of his crew for being supportive as they did not quit cheering the intern up even when they stood out of the Argo waiting for inspection. The captain, on the other hand, had tapped the back of his new pilot consoling him before checking the damage they had done on themselves and on the ship they had landed next to (The Wretched Hive.)

At the sight, Agenor came to the realization he needed a drink.

[member="Jorus Merrill"]​