Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved Planet Seraphentis

Status
Not open for further replies.
Seraphentis

scott-richard-sci-fi-010219-by-scott-richard.jpg


~~~~~~~~~~~~

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

  • Intent: To create a world attacked by the Bryn'adûl, and taken by them.
  • Image Credit: X
  • Canon: N/A
  • Permissions: N/A
  • Links: [Embedded]
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Planet Name: Seraphentis
  • Demonym: Draelvasier
  • Region: Wild Space
  • System Name: Serphai
  • System Features: Two Suns, Four Moons [One Fractured]
  • Location: X
  • Major Imports: Foods, Supplies, Military Equipment
  • Major Exports: Malabast, Verikast, Drael Stone-Tech
  • Unexploited Resources: N/A
GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION
  • Gravity: Standard
  • Climate: Controlled [Hot]
  • Primary Terrain: Desert, Water [90%]
  • Atmosphere: Type II
LOCATION INFORMATION
  • Capital City: Kred-nagath
  • Planetary Features: Ruins of old civilisation
  • Major Locations:
Kred-nagath:
Kred-nagath is the name given to the Super-Construct controlled by the Bryn'adûl on the planet. It is the sole remaining standing structure on the planet, taking a vast amount - nearly all of the one massive continent located on the southern hemisphere of the planet.
Old Ruins:
A few miles north of the Bryn'adûl Super Construct is small crumbled ruins of the civilisation that once lived upon this massive continent and was home to four billion. Surrounded on all sides by water, their technology was once primarily fuelled solely by water and acted as a refuge for those in times of war. Seraphentis was home to a group know as the Knights of Seran, force wielders that protected their homeworld. Their battered cathedral still stands as the largest of the ruins. This old ruin remains untouched, still filled with the bodies of the Knights of Seran who met their end against the Chieftain of the Bryn'adûl.
Sea-Bases:
On the edges of the massive continent, multiple smaller bases exist that house anti-air defences hidden underwater and additionally massive hangar bays for vessels and flying beasts to deploy from. There is a total of forty of these smaller bases dotted around the colossal island.
POPULATION
  • Native Species: Near-Humans [Genocided]
  • Immigrated Species: Draelvasier
  • Population: Heavy
  • Demographics: 100% Draelvasier
  • Primary Languages: Drael
  • Culture: Draelvasier Culture, Meritocratic, Militant and Occult.
GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY
  • Government: The Bryn'adûl - An occult and meritocratic militant governing body lead by the Ish'makra Council & the Chieftain of the Bryn'adûl.
  • Affiliation: The Bryn'adûl
  • Wealth: N/A - Wealth or Material value is not a concept shared in Bryn'adûl Society
  • Stability: High
  • Freedom & Oppression: This in truth is down to perspective, to those outside of the Draelvasier might see their lives as imprisonment. However to Draelvasier they see their regimented and purposeful lives as true freedom from the weaknesses of fleeting existence.
MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY
  • Military: This world is home to a Military Super-Construct located on its sole piece of terrain, essentially it is a fortress world.
  • Technology: Advanced/Bio-tech, force based technology of Drael origin.
HISTORICAL INFORMATION:
Seraphentis was home to a large structure, similar in design and scope to the upper-levels of Coruscant however much more gaunt and gothic in its design. Its scale was much more limited due to the sheer lack of physical space by comparison to the core world planet. The city was adorned with statues of depicting's of Osha and Beran, two Gods that acted as Guardians of the cosmic force presiding over two halves. Light and Dark. The Knights of Seran governed as theocractic rulers that acted as arbiters of the force and lawkeepers that attempted to maintain balance in all things. Thusly the entire super-city was almost symmetrical in design. Everything from clothing to weapons and armour were symmetrical. At the heart of their city was a force imbued sphere that acted as a conduit for the Sun; a reminder of the brilliance of life gifted by Osha and Beran.

The Knights of Seran fought bravely against the invading Bryn'adûl forces but due to their mostly isolationist styled existence; all four billion of the planets original inhabitants were killed in the Genocidal Slaughter. The Knights of Seran fought to defeat the assumed leader of the invading horde in the crumbling ruins of their Cathedral were they met their end. This Cathedral still stands, far from the current civilisation of Seraphentis; the Cathedral is now a derelict tomb.
 
Last edited:
[member="Tathra Khaeus"] | [member="Laira Darkhold"]

Looks pretty nice to me, but a few things before I stamp this.

- You got a loose bullet in the location information section. Nothing that prevents this sub from being stamped, but you might wanna remove it.

  • Demographics: Nine out of ten citizens are
Your sentence cut off here, so I assume something went wrong here.

Tag me once you are done and I will take another look.
 

Zak Dymo

Guest
Z
Tathra Khaeus Tathra Khaeus

Thank you for your patience. I just have a few comments before this will be ready for the second level review.

1. Missing Template Field

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: To create a world attacked by the Bryn'adûl, and taken by them.
  • Image Credit: X
  • Canon: N/A
  • Links:

If you refer to the template here, you are missing the Permissions field here, which should be after Canon and before Links.


2. Region (Missing Link)

Region: Wild Space

As per the template, please link to Wild Space here.


3. Government
Government: The Bryn'adûl

Referring to the template, this section refers to the style of governance rather than the name of the state itself. What should your reader understand about how Bryn'adul govern? Is it an absolute sovereign? Tribal council? Shamanistic theocracy?


Those are my comments and I look forward to yours in reply. Please tag me when you have completed any edits.
 
Tathra Khaeus Tathra Khaeus

Not much to worry about here, though, just need to clarify:

Major Exports: Ores
a415ad9604ed20972a8093c5ec62aaa1.png

What kind of Ore? Per the template above it states that "common materials and ores" should just be listed, but, we still need to know what they are (Ex. Durasteel Ore) - Only rare things need to be linked, however.

Otherwise - It's pretty good to go. Give me a tag when that's clarified and I'll get it stamped.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom