Codex Denied Renegade Squadron

[Ben Craig]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: Provide the Directorate with a Fleet.
• Image Credit: Link
• Permissions: Compellor Class BattleCrusier ; Tyrant [Link ; Link ; Link]
• Links: Ben Craig ; The Directorate

GENERAL INFORMATION

• Fleet Name: Renegade Squadron
• Classification: Expeditionary Task Force
• Affiliation: The Directorate
• Fleet Symbol: Link
  • Color Scheme: Light and Dark Grey
• Description: One of the fleets of the Directorate ; Very Professional Navy

SOCIAL INFORMATION

• Headquarters: Jakku
• Ports of Call: N/A
• Goals: Protect the Directorate from potential attacks from its enemies (Republic/Grayson Imperium)
• Reputation: Temporary Main Fleet of the Directorate and the bulk of the Directorate Military. Members of the Directorate and the crew of the fleet see Renegade Squadron as a symbol of power. Renegade Squadron shows the might of the Directorate and the wealth it has accumulated. Renegade Squadron has not come in a direct confrontation with the enemies of the Directorate yet, but they are aware of it's presence and might.

COMPOSITION INFORMATION

• Fleet Size: Large
• Lead Ship: Compellor-Class Battlecruiser [Name: Challenger]
• Composition:
  • Pellaeon III Class Star Destroyer (2)
  • Compellor Class Star Cruiser (4)
  • Tyrant II Class Cruiser (2)
  • Impellor Class II Carrier Cruiser (2)
  • 20 Fighter Squadrons
  • 20 Intercepter Squadrons
  • 8 Bomber Squadrons

MEMBERS

Ben Craig (Fleet Admiral)


HISTORICAL INFORMATION

In the Wake of the Kuati Crisis , the Directorate now facing the Republic as a potential enemy needed to move forth and to establish its first permanent fleet in order to defend its assets against a potential enemy strike.

With rumors of a planned Republic Strike against Jakku , Director Maracel Yorkell authorized the formation of Renegade Squadron the first of the Directorate’s Expeditionary Fleets , fleets that would serve as the temporary main naval force of the Directorate as the young faction continues to build up its strength.

Once the ships were assembled and the fleet was officially formed Renegade Squadron was stationed over Jakku to protect the vital planet as well as to patrol the nearby systems for Republic activity to insure that the Directorate’a interests over this World were well protected.

Currently Renegade Squadron serves as the Directorate’s first and main fleet placed under the command of Admiral Ben Craig as these ships now serve as the bulk of the Directorate Navy.

 

[Zak Dymo]

Ben Craig

I'll be conducting the review on this for you. I like how you have your fleet apportioned, there's just a few items before we move this along.

1. Image Credit. The link that you have takes me an error. I tried going directly to the hdwpics.com site, and it appears to be down. I was able to find an alternate image link that I think will work for you.

2. Permissions. The Princeps, Compellor, Tyrant, and Impellor submissions are all labeled as Closed Market. As such, I'll need you to show that you have permission from the submitter to use those submission (e.g. marketplace transaction post, screen shot of a PM, etc.).

3. Clarification. I think the wording on this part (below) could lead to some confusion.

• 100 Starfighter and Bomber squadrons

Is that meant to be 100 squadrons, a mix of starfighter and bombers? Or is that meant to be 100 starfighter and 100 bomber squadrons? As written currently, I could see it being interpreted either way. I'd recommend clarifying your intention. As an aside, I think you have more than 100 squadrons with this composition. I ran the numbers and this is what I came up with:

• Princepes: 30 squadrons
• Paelleon III: 3 sq (x7 ships) = 21 squadrons
• Compellor: 3 sq (x8 ships) = 24 squadrons
• Tyrant: 1 sq (x4 ships) = 4 squadrons
• Impellor: 8 sq (x4 ships) = 32 squadrons
• Total = 111 squadrons

4. Fleshing Out the Details. You have a solid composition for your fleet, but there seem to be a lot of details that are missing. I'd recommend adding some details to help develop the lore a bit more. For example:

• Headquarters: N/A
• Ports of Call: N/A
• Goals: Crush the enemies of the Directorate
• Reputation: Known within the Directorate

Most fleets have a base or support facility where repair and logistics can be regularly coordinated, families of crew are frequently located, etc. For example, the U.S. Seventh Fleet is headquartered in Yokosuka, Japan, with support elements in Guam. The U.S. Third Fleet is headquartered in San Diego, California, with support elements in Hawaii and Washington state. If you go down to the squadron level, the U.S. Amphibious Squadron 11 is headquarted out of Sasebo, Japan. What's going on with your fleet here? Does the crew never get to see their families because there's no basing to support them and the ships just float around on an "as needed" basis?

Similarly, are there any bases in Directorate space or other areas where these ships might be regularly seen? For example, the ships of the U.S. Seventh Fleet are known to frequent Singapore, Australia, etc.

Their stated goal is to crush the enemies of the Directorate. Who are the enemies of the Directorate? Is there a particular "Great Power Competition" that this composition is meant to address?

As a last point to the quoted text, how well is this group known within the Directorate? Is that reputation only in the context of the military subculture? Or does its reputation extend to common knowledge? What about its reputation outside of the Directorate? Are there any allies of the Directorate that hold this group in any regard?

Finally, for the History, are there any slogans associated with this group? As an example, the U.S. Mine Warfare community has long maintained some variation of the phrase "Wooden Ships, Iron Men, No Greater Heroes" for its different squadrons. Has Renegade squadron participated in any notable battles or conflicts? Going back to the reputation, this is where you could expand on what it is that they have a reputation for.

 

[Ben Craig]

Ben Craig

I'll be conducting the review on this for you. I like how you have your fleet apportioned, there's just a few items before we move this along.

1. Image Credit. The link that you have takes me an error. I tried going directly to the hdwpics.com site, and it appears to be down. I was able to find an alternate image link that I think will work for you.

2. Permissions. The Princeps, Compellor, Tyrant, and Impellor submissions are all labeled as Closed Market. As such, I'll need you to show that you have permission from the submitter to use those submission (e.g. marketplace transaction post, screen shot of a PM, etc.).

3. Clarification. I think the wording on this part (below) could lead to some confusion.


Is that meant to be 100 squadrons, a mix of starfighter and bombers? Or is that meant to be 100 starfighter and 100 bomber squadrons? As written currently, I could see it being interpreted either way. I'd recommend clarifying your intention. As an aside, I think you have more than 100 squadrons with this composition. I ran the numbers and this is what I came up with:

• Princepes: 30 squadrons
• Paelleon III: 3 sq (x7 ships) = 21 squadrons
• Compellor: 3 sq (x8 ships) = 24 squadrons
• Tyrant: 1 sq (x4 ships) = 4 squadrons
• Impellor: 8 sq (x4 ships) = 32 squadrons
• Total = 111 squadrons

4. Fleshing Out the Details. You have a solid composition for your fleet, but there seem to be a lot of details that are missing. I'd recommend adding some details to help develop the lore a bit more. For example:


Most fleets have a base or support facility where repair and logistics can be regularly coordinated, families of crew are frequently located, etc. For example, the U.S. Seventh Fleet is headquartered in Yokosuka, Japan, with support elements in Guam. The U.S. Third Fleet is headquartered in San Diego, California, with support elements in Hawaii and Washington state. If you go down to the squadron level, the U.S. Amphibious Squadron 11 is headquarted out of Sasebo, Japan. What's going on with your fleet here? Does the crew never get to see their families because there's no basing to support them and the ships just float around on an "as needed" basis?

Similarly, are there any bases in Directorate space or other areas where these ships might be regularly seen? For example, the ships of the U.S. Seventh Fleet are known to frequent Singapore, Australia, etc.

Their stated goal is to crush the enemies of the Directorate. Who are the enemies of the Directorate? Is there a particular "Great Power Competition" that this composition is meant to address?

As a last point to the quoted text, how well is this group known within the Directorate? Is that reputation only in the context of the military subculture? Or does its reputation extend to common knowledge? What about its reputation outside of the Directorate? Are there any allies of the Directorate that hold this group in any regard?

Finally, for the History, are there any slogans associated with this group? As an example, the U.S. Mine Warfare community has long maintained some variation of the phrase "Wooden Ships, Iron Men, No Greater Heroes" for its different squadrons. Has Renegade squadron participated in any notable battles or conflicts? Going back to the reputation, this is where you could expand on what it is that they have a reputation for.

Edits made!

Zak Dymo

 

[Zak Dymo]

Ben Craig

Thank you for the edits. I think this is an excellent submission overall, but there's an issue with the Princeps.

To start with, this appears to have been a personal purchase or acquisition by Marlon Sularen , so you'd need to show permission from him to use it. However, I note the following from the linked thread.

On the behalf of my Company , Yorkell Industries , i will attempt to make a Bid for the building license and Lot 2. For this bid i am willing to offer 5 Billion Credits for the License and the Second Lot each with a total of 10 Billion Credits. If my bid is successful , the Battlecruiser will be used for the Grayson Imperium and will become part of it's Navy. [member="Credius Nargath"]

Based on the foregoing, I do not believe that this is a ship that is available for use by the Directorate. As such, please provide either a different proof of permission or please change to a different vessel for your lead ship.

Because neither is likely an appealing option, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't point out a third option of requesting a second chance with a different judge, in case you'd care to have my interpretation reviewed.

Please tag me once you have had an opportunity to complete your edits. Cheers.

 

[John Locke]

Ben Craig | Zak Dymo

Good Morning.

I will be taking over the review of this submission.

 

[John Locke]

Good Morning Ben Craig

I have looked through the submission and have a few points I would like to raise with you before we can go forward with it.

Image Credit

Image Credit: Link

The current link provided takes us to an image, but not to the original source of the image. I've looked around the internet for you and have found the original creator of the image here. Please update the link.​

Affiliation

Affiliation: Ben Craig ; The Directorate

I noticed that you have listed both yourself and The Directorate as having affiliation over this fleet, however according to the factory rules, in particular the starships table which I have linked below, this submission can't have a personal affiliation.​

As you can see an individual is unable to have a fleet at all and as such I'll have to ask you to remove the link to yourself from this submission. While the fleet might be for your use, it is a Directorate Fleet and not a personal one for yourself.​

Fleet Symbol

Fleet Symbol: Black and Red

While you have provided a colour scheme for your fleet, that is not the only thing requested by the template here. I have quoted the relevant section of hte template below.​

Fleet Symbol: [If your fleet has a sigil or logo, provide a picture or briefly describe what it looks like. Feel free to include colour scheme, etc in this field. ]

Please include either an image or a description of what the fleet sigil or logo looks like here as well. If you are providing an image then please remember to credit the image correctly.​

Headquarters

Headquarters: Jakku

Please provide a link to the wookiepedia page for Jakku which can be found here.​

Reputation

Reputation: Temporary Main Fleet of the Directorate and the bulk of the Directorate Military. It's existence is currently unknown to the Directorate's enemies.

I'm going to expand on this section a little bit, what you've provided in essence is a description of the fleet, however this is not what the template asks for. I have quoted the relevant text below.​

Reputation: [ Is this fleet known by people outside of itself and how do they view it? With pride? With concern? Wary or neutral? Describe your fleet’s reputation here if it has one. This can include multiple views, from enemies and allies, depending on the type of fleet. ]

What do the members of the Directorate think of this fleet? How do the crews onboard the ships see it? I notice you said that the Directorate's enemies are unaware of it, however later on in the submission you state:​

Once the ships were assembled and the fleet was officially formed Renegade Squadron was stationed over Jakku to protect the vital planet as well as to patrol the nearby systems for Republic activity to insure that the Directorate’a interests over this World were well protected.

Placing a major fleet in orbit of a planet and having it patrol the surrounding areas would mean that it's presence would be difficult to hide from both the enemies of the directorate and any third parties who might spot it and spread rumours about it, or tell Republic or Grayson Imperium officials. As such, it might make more sense for you to take out the part about the fleet's existence currently being unknown to the Directorate's enemies.​

Lead Ship

Lead Ship: Princeps Class Heavy Battle Cruiser [Name: Challanger]

I'm afraid that you can't use the Princeps as part of this fleet as it currently stands, there are two reasons for this which I will go through with you here.​

1) Size ​

​

If we refer back to the factory's table of ships, which I have included below again, you will see that a Company or a Minor Faction is able to field combat ships of 3km which have limited production and unique ships of 5km. The Princeps is a Semi-Unique ship, and therefore it will be judged by the closest category, which in this case is limited. That imposes a size limit on the ship of 3km, however, the Princeps is 4,750m long, which makes it too larger to be used in this fleet submission.​

2) Permissions​

​

While I have reviewed the permissions you have provided it does not appear that the permissions provided allow for the use of the current Princeps sub.​

I have included a screenshot from the auction page above. As you can see, the bid for the actual ship was rejected, instead, Maracel Yorkell II's company, Yorkel Industries was provided with a licence to produce the ship itself. This does not mean that you are able to use the original submission, but isntead must submit a new submission under the new company. It must be noted here that this may not be a copy and paste of the original submission, while it may be based on the original submission the submission must be your own, the original princeps should be provided in the links and the auction thread should be provided as a permission.​

Composition

This fleet is also too large. According to current Chaos rules only a major faction may have a large fleet and the fleet you're fielding here is pushing on towards that. I have quoted the relevant section from the rules on Major Factions below:​

5. Only a Major Faction has the resources necessary to role-play having a large fleet, army, etc.

Currently, your fleet consists of the following:​

​

Pellaeon III Class Star Destroyer: 1500m x 7 = 10,500m​

Compellor Class Star Cruiser: 850m x 8 = 6,800m​

Tyrant II Class Cruiser: 900m x 4 = 3,600m​

Impellor Class II Carrier Cruiser: 1000m x 4 = 4000m​

For a total meterage of 24,900m​

​

As you can see this is a larger fleet than that which some major factions field. Therefore I'd recommend you scale down the size of your fleet, and mark it as a large one.​

​

Also, please remember as per the template:​

A Large fleet for a minor faction would be smaller than a Large fleet for a Major Faction for instance. A Minor Faction's small fleet would be larger than a civilian merchant small fleet. This field is not meant to be used to decide which fleet, head to head, wins a battle.

Members

MEMBERS

Ben Craig (Fleet Admiral)

Please could you provide a link to your character profile here.​

Please look through the points above and tag me back when you have made the necessary changes to the submission.

 

[Ben Craig]

Good Morning Ben Craig

I have looked through the submission and have a few points I would like to raise with you before we can go forward with it.

Image Credit

The current link provided takes us to an image, but not to the original source of the image. I've looked around the internet for you and have found the original creator of the image here. Please update the link.​

Affiliation

I noticed that you have listed both yourself and The Directorate as having affiliation over this fleet, however according to the factory rules, in particular the starships table which I have linked below, this submission can't have a personal affiliation.​

As you can see an individual is unable to have a fleet at all and as such I'll have to ask you to remove the link to yourself from this submission. While the fleet might be for your use, it is a Directorate Fleet and not a personal one for yourself.​

Fleet Symbol

While you have provided a colour scheme for your fleet, that is not the only thing requested by the template here. I have quoted the relevant section of hte template below.​

Please include either an image or a description of what the fleet sigil or logo looks like here as well. If you are providing an image then please remember to credit the image correctly.​

Headquarters

Please provide a link to the wookiepedia page for Jakku which can be found here.​

Reputation

I'm going to expand on this section a little bit, what you've provided in essence is a description of the fleet, however this is not what the template asks for. I have quoted the relevant text below.​

What do the members of the Directorate think of this fleet? How do the crews onboard the ships see it? I notice you said that the Directorate's enemies are unaware of it, however later on in the submission you state:​

Placing a major fleet in orbit of a planet and having it patrol the surrounding areas would mean that it's presence would be difficult to hide from both the enemies of the directorate and any third parties who might spot it and spread rumours about it, or tell Republic or Grayson Imperium officials. As such, it might make more sense for you to take out the part about the fleet's existence currently being unknown to the Directorate's enemies.​

Lead Ship

I'm afraid that you can't use the Princeps as part of this fleet as it currently stands, there are two reasons for this which I will go through with you here.​

1) Size ​

​

If we refer back to the factory's table of ships, which I have included below again, you will see that a Company or a Minor Faction is able to field combat ships of 3km which have limited production and unique ships of 5km. The Princeps is a Semi-Unique ship, and therefore it will be judged by the closest category, which in this case is limited. That imposes a size limit on the ship of 3km, however, the Princeps is 4,750m long, which makes it too larger to be used in this fleet submission.​

2) Permissions​

​

While I have reviewed the permissions you have provided it does not appear that the permissions provided allow for the use of the current Princeps sub.​

I have included a screenshot from the auction page above. As you can see, the bid for the actual ship was rejected, instead, Maracel Yorkell II's company, Yorkel Industries was provided with a licence to produce the ship itself. This does not mean that you are able to use the original submission, but isntead must submit a new submission under the new company. It must be noted here that this may not be a copy and paste of the original submission, while it may be based on the original submission the submission must be your own, the original princeps should be provided in the links and the auction thread should be provided as a permission.​

Composition

This fleet is also too large. According to current Chaos rules only a major faction may have a large fleet and the fleet you're fielding here is pushing on towards that. I have quoted the relevant section from the rules on Major Factions below:​

Currently, your fleet consists of the following:​

​

Pellaeon III Class Star Destroyer: 1500m x 7 = 10,500m​

Compellor Class Star Cruiser: 850m x 8 = 6,800m​

Tyrant II Class Cruiser: 900m x 4 = 3,600m​

Impellor Class II Carrier Cruiser: 1000m x 4 = 4000m​

For a total meterage of 24,900m​

​

As you can see this is a larger fleet than that which some major factions field. Therefore I'd recommend you scale down the size of your fleet, and mark it as a large one.​

​

Also, please remember as per the template:​

Members

Please could you provide a link to your character profile here.​

Please look through the points above and tag me back when you have made the necessary changes to the submission.

Thank you John for your feedback!

All is edited. John Locke

 

[John Locke]

Ben Craig

Thank you for your patience. There are just a few more points I want to clear up with you before we pass this through.

Image Credit

Fleet Symbol: Link

The link you have provided is to the image, but as with all images you also need to provide a credit for your image. In this case, a quick search brought me to this deviant art page.

Fleet Composition and Permissions

The same rule that applied to the Princeps also applies to the smaller ships. In this case, while most of the ships are covered by a purchase from the Nargath Holdings store, the Tyrant II was not included, instead, a production contract was issued. This means you will be able to produce your own Tyrants, but you can't use the original submission, but rather the Directorate will have to produce their own submission. I'd ask you to eitehr link to that submission, or to remove this ship from your composition.

 

[Ben Craig]

John Locke

Recently, Ben Craig has become a board member of the N&Z Umbrella Corporation which currently owns the license to manufacture the Tyrants. One of the perks of being a board member is that he is able to use any product from the corporation that is not unique without asking for permission or approval. You can confirm with Credius . I was just wondering if this was possible instead of having to submit a whole new submission.

 

[John Locke]

Ben Craig

Do you have a link to a thread or post where Ben was confirmed as a Board Member, along with the list of perks which include the use of products of the corporation you have mentioned here?

 

[Ben Craig]

John Locke

Link - Updated N&Z Umbrella Corporation detailing Ben's role.

Discord Links: Link ; Link

 

[John Locke]

Ben Craig

Those links are exactly what we needed.

Can you please add them to the permissions field?

 

[Ben Craig]

John Locke

done!

 

[John Locke]

Ben Craig

Could you also include the discord links in the permissions field?

 

[Ben Craig]

John Locke

done!

 

[John Locke]

Ben Craig

Perfect.

Thank you for working with me on this submission.

APPROVED

 

[John Locke]

Submission name: Renegade Squadron
Link: https://www.starwarsrp.net/threads/renegade-squadron.134420/
Reason: Affiliation/Faction change

Submission moved to pre-codex as per OP request.

Please remember to include a list of changes when you tag a member of codex staff to move the submission back to live judgement.

 

[Ben Craig]

After reviewing this and with the faction change, can this actually be archived please? Thanks

John Locke

 

[John Locke]

Archiving per OP request.