courageisthekey
A Raging Inferno
I need a break, to be honest. There's been a lot of crap going on with friends, family, and school. And I realized that unfortunately, this isn't the right temporary 'escape' for me. There's more than just one asshat on the site (to be honest). With everything going on, both IC and OOC/IRL... I don't want to do this anymore. Write characters. Fight in wars. Drag friends out of messes they put themselves in. And I really, really don't want to pretend to be the happy kitty for any longer. "Wait, WHAT? You AREN'T a happy kitty?" Shocker, right?... Haha, not really. While it was (hopefully) obvious that I'm not a cat, the fact that I'm actually fairly easy to anger may not have been.
Thing is, I'm the nicest queen you'll ever meet.
Doubt there's ever been anyone willing to give as many second chances as I have. But that's another story for a diary or journal only. The point is that I DON'T like trying to keep everyone happy, or fixing things for them. Mostly because it usually blows up in my face. Yeah, I know I don't have to. But the problem is that my personality is frustrating to an extreme degree. I'm to nice to stop trying. Sometimes I want to punch myself in the face, to be honest. Other times I want to punch some of you guys in the face, to be even more honest. Which leads me to this...
Once I finish a few things up, I'm out. Maybe for a few months. Maybe for the rest of my existence. Depends on how things go around here. It sucks, really, that I never got to write with some of those people that I wanted to talk with so desperately. Maybe if I was actually social we could have done so. But like I've been trying to say: Writing isn't fun anymore. It's a freaking chore. Just like being the happy kitten. Just like trying to stop friends from ripping each other's throats out. Just like doing anything else people with crappy personalities do. And I'm not just a queen, I'm lazy in a way. I try to limit how much I have to do. Which means I try to worm my way out of as many chores as possible.
Asta la vista Chaos.
Cue the few people who actually wrote with me and care, the people who pretend to know me, those who openly admit they don't know me, those who claim to wish to have known me, and probably at least a few asshats who just want to tell me to grow up or something (you know who you are, bastards).
(@[member="Circe Savan"], @[member="Spencer Jacobs"], sorry we didn't get that thread Spence. Might have time to do a short one before I go...)