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Gna Grimwasp

Bad ass space fairy
Character

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Planet Name: Lo-kie
  • Demonym: Li-lili
  • Region: Tingel Arm,
  • System Name: Lolian system
  • System Features: is a 3 planet system. Lo-kie being the 2nd 1st a small gas planet and a larger gas giant as the 3rd
  • Location: between skism and eriu
  • Major Imports: mostly building materials but planet is fairly self sufficiency
  • Major Exports: Mythra a good source of Desh Alum and Ecru
  • Unexploited Resources: unknown: planet Lo-kie has a small amount of Songsteel though that has yet to be mined
GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION
  • Gravity: Galactic basic
  • Climate: Temperate
  • the planet has an earth like clime but due to its mega continent it is desert like in the center of the continent.
  • near either poles it can become cold
  • it should be noted that due to the mega continent the planet is wrecked with tornadoes and mega storms.
  • Primary Terrain: Grassland, Mountains, Oceans, mostly rocky
  • Atmosphere: Type I,
LOCATION INFORMATION
  • Capital City: Atros a mountain remade into a city currently the only city on Lo-kie
  • Planetary Features: A major asteroid crater that appears to have millennia ago fractured the planets mega continent.
  • other than that the planet has little to no real features save a few primitive species yet to be documented
  • the planet has mega jungles
  • it offers a lot of land due to a mega continent.
  • Major Locations: Atros and a few mining locations
  • Atros ia a mountain high city
  • the only currently on Lo-kie the city is 130 miles wide and 3 miles tall in the center and highly populated with the fast breeding Lo-lili.
    it acts as star port and manufacturing hub.
  • Atlos: is located 3000 miles away in the northern Tundra is a Aluzsteel Quarry. the location is besieged by " Kull " raids due to the subterranean species being attracted to the vibrations.
  • Velasian: a Oil rigging platform in the gigantic sea this is a relatively peaceful location though is hammered by the super storms.
  • Tarran: a agricultural operation in the jungles of Lo-kie essentially a deforestation program. constantly besieged by " Kull" raids.
  • Force Nexus (Optional): na
    Intent: na
    Nexus Name: na
  • Nexus Alignment: Light, Dark,
  • Size: na
  • Strength: na
  • Accessibility: na
  • Effects: na

POPULATION
  • Native Species: none save some primitive animal species
  • Immigrated Species: Lo-lili and Kullasexriak
  • Population: Moderate,
  • Demographics: Almost all Lo-lilli
  • Primary Languages: Standard
  • Culture: the Lo-lili are an imperialistic species with a fanatical mentality that far exceeds there size. the Lo-lili view the planet as there Manifest destiny and the Kull as impeding there divine right.
GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY
  • Government: Imperial Empress Killik
  • constitutional monarchy.
  • Affiliation: none
  • Wealth: High
  • Stability: Medium, are in a almost constant war with the insectivore semi vongform Kullasexriak
  • Freedom & Oppression: Fairly free though war had made the population warlike.
MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY
  • Military: medium
  • Technology: galactic standard
HISTORICAL INFORMATION
The lo-lili recently moved to the planet that they deemed to be unsettled and laid claim to it.
they did not know that the planet was infected with the crablike Kullasexriak after the planet was Vong formed buy the Yuuzhan Vong and long forgotten..

the warlike Lo-lili had always been imperialistic and took to combat in a hart beat.
As the " Kul" killed thousands of the Lo-lili the Lo killed them in return in the thousands.
thus the Empress started the imperial army and millions of lo-lili in to military service.
the city was pushed in to military production
thus Pixie tech was inducted in to the empire as it's military department of manufacturing plus research and development.
thus due to the races inability to use standard tech they have customized mini sized technology.
as such they became the defacto war administration.

the Kullasexriak however gained control over meany other forms of life via its vong formed abilities mutated to combat the Lo-lili
thankfully the " Kull" are subterranean for the most part.
but this lead to apocalyptic lvls of war on the planet
Sadly the Lo-lili's xenophobic tendencies forbid them calling on aid for little more than resources.
 
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V U L K A N
Roleplay Judge
Good Evening Gna Grimwasp Gna Grimwasp

I always love to see people developing planets of their own as locations for their RP and their characters and species to live, and this seems like a really interesting setting.

Image

The image of the planet you use, while of the planet Reach, is not actually available in the link you have provided. I have looked around the internet and have found it one this website.​

Permissions

You have linked your approved species, the Lo-lili in the permissions field. I have quoted the description of the Permissions field below.​
Permissions: [Please link any Marketplace purchase or similar approvals to use other Writers’ content as part of this submission.]
I noticed that you also linked the Lo-lili in the links field where they should be so if you could please remove them from the permissions field. This field is only for permissions you have acquired for other writers content.​

Location

Location: tbd
Because of a planet's ability to be placed on the Chaos map, you can not leave the location field left blank, or filled with 'tbd' but you will actually have to choose a location for the planet. If you choose not to have the planet placed on the map that is absolutely fine, but every planet must be approached as if it will be placed on the Chaos map.​

Major Exports

Major Exports: rare minerals and gems a good source of Desh
1) Could you please specify which rare minerals and gems are available on the planet? There are rather a lot of them in the galaxy and this is rather vague.​
2) Could you please link Desh in your submission? It's not a common material, and people are unlikely to know what it is. The link to the wookie page can be found here.​

Unexploited Resources


Unexploited Resources: unknown planet had a small amount of Songsteel though that has yet to be mined
Which unknown planet are you referring to here? I thought there were only 3 planets in the system?​

Climate

Climate: Temperate slightly to tropical
Could you please further clarify what you mean by this? Do you mean the planet has a tropical climate that tends more to the tropical climes than cooler?​

Major Locations

Major Locations: Atros and a few mining locations
Above I have quoted your Major locations field, and below is the template's explanation. As you can see, the template requires not only that you include the major locations, but that you also include an explanation of each here. This is primarily so that anyone who chooses to RP on your planet has a better understanding of the locations on your planet they can RP in.​

Major Locations: [ What are the major locations on your world? Include an explanation on each. ]
Immigrated Species

Immigrated Species: Li-lili
You mention the Li-lili as an immigrated species here, but the only previous mention of the Li-lili are as the Demonym for the submission. Are the Li-lili an actual species as well? If so, please could you provide a link to the species submission.​

Primary Language

Primary Languages: Standard
I assume you mean galactic basic, also known as galactic basic standard? It might seem like a small thing, but if you could please rename this to galactic standard, or galactic basic standard to prevent any confusion in the future.​

Government

1) Form of government
The presence of an Imperial Empress would make this a monarchy, although the presence of a parliament would make this a constitutional monarchy.​
I have included the text from the template below, but we require an actual form of government here if you wish to further break it down by talking about the Empress and Parliament you can beneath that.​
Government: [ Federal Republic would describe a government such as the United States. Other general terms can be used. ]
2) Image
The image link you provided takes us directly to the image you're using for the Imperial Empress. You will also need to provide an image credit, the link to the artist's image page can be found here. Please refer to this article on image credits to see the correct way to credit artists.​

Affiliation

You list the affiliation of the planet as 'The Empire of the Wasp' what exactly is the Empire of the Wasp? Is this a minor faction, an organization for which you have a codex submission?​

Historical Information

1) Lo-lili
In the submission, you list the Lo-lili as a species native to the planet, however in the historical information you describe them as immigrants who move to the planet. Please could you either correct the population section to better reflect this by moving the Lo-lili to the Immigrated Species field.​
2) Ushang Vong
Who are the Ushang Vong? Are they a clan of the Yuuzhan Vong?​
3) Image
You've included an image at the bottom of the submission without an image credit. I've been looking around and it looks like the original artist has deleted their Deviantart page. I did find the image on a Warhammer art blog, here. or you could use Pinterest or another site.​
I know this is a lot to take in, but please read through my notes and let me know once you've made the adjustments.
 

Gna Grimwasp

Bad ass space fairy
Character
i appologize i'v highly dyslexic and this is my 1st attempt as a planet that isnt a dead rock.
the Lo-lili are essentially invaders. and laid clam to the planet
 
V U L K A N
Roleplay Judge
Gna Grimwasp Gna Grimwasp

That's fine, if you just work through the points I've raised one by one then we're just polishing up the planet ready for approval. I do really like the concept you have here.

If you have any questions as you go then feel free to tag me and ask them here and I'll be more than happy to work with you to get this planet ready.
 
V U L K A N
Roleplay Judge
Good Morning Gna Grimwasp Gna Grimwasp

You've got most of the points I raised, and this submission is looking much better. There are just a few outstanding points remaining.

Location

Location: tbd
As per my previous post, you can not leave this field to be determined at a later date. Because each planet we approve can be potentially added to the map you do need to choose a location for the planet on the map.

Major Locations

Image

You have added an image to the major Locations but have not added a corresponding image credit. I've looked around the internet and this appears to be the original artist if you could please add it to the submission.

Please tag me back when you've had a chance to look through this.
 

Gna Grimwasp

Bad ass space fairy
Character
sorry i cant find the old grid to pick a locaton i did post that immge link its the circular saw one.
done
 
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