Eyes Wide Open

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Meeting with [member="Taeli Raaf"]​

Stormvale Manor, Bastion​

Sometime in the afternoon​

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Recent events had left Kaalia, who in the current hour acted under the name of Darth Avacyn, nothing short of mystified. She had begun to call her very memories into question, unsure what was real and what was fabricated but if one thing was certain in her mind, it was that something or someone had caused it. Still, the woman could only assume that it was a long time ago when it happened, she had no way of knowing.

The exact event that had triggered it all was when Kaalia met with [member='Mishel Noren'] for the first time in years. Various memories where the brunette originally never even appeared now had her play a vital role in them as flashes of the past corrected themselves to show what had truly taken place. Ever since then her focus had shifted towards cleansing the lies from her memories, but it was a task that had proven itself to be even more difficult than she had anticipated. Her knowledge of the Force simply wasn't enough.

Placing the past into a proper timeframe had become nearly impossible- although some events had indeed transpired, some were revealed to be completely fabricated after research. After realizing the whole ordeal was getting close to affecting her mentally, it was quickly decided that this was something that one could not resolve themselves. Help was needed.

That was where another rearranged memory came into play. It was nothing more than a blurry flash now, but it was no longer a lie; Kaalia had found herself in the castle of Darth Vader on the planet on Mustafar, two people standing next to her and one blocking the path ahead of them. Those who stood beside her were impossible to make out, but the one who faced the trio down was a different story. It was none other than Taeli Raaf, who back then had infiltrated the ranks of the Galactic Alliance and now was known as the one who had taken down the greatest threat to the Sith Empire. It was no more but a fleeting moment, but perhaps the fellow Sith Lady was able to assist in uncovering her past. Leads were rare, so any that came her way were given her full attention. Taeli was contacted and a meeting was arranged.

Avacyn had been invited to Stormvale Manor on the capitol planet of Bastion, a world she had become quite familiar with. She was often seen in the Sith academy to teach acolytes and whenever the Lords and Ladies of the Empire assembled it to was on Bastion. This time however, her business here was of a much more personal nature.

After identifying herself with the guards who stood by the gates, the woman was given entry into the estate and guided towards the manor itself. It was safe to assume she was already being expected.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

"Miss Ahern, Lady Raaf's guest has arrived," Mr. Carrington, the estate overseer and butler, stated to Taeli's personal maid. The girl, about eighteen with wavy blonde hair and bright blue eyes, nodded. Her Ladyship was currently in the study, reading a communique from one of her Order of Shadows agents in Hutt space, and she had been... beginning the girl's tutelage in other matters. Ahern was excited to learn more, to embrace the gift she had, but her duties called first.

"Her Ladyship would like Lady Avacyn escorted to her study, Mr. Carrington," she stated. "Her Ladyship also has requested they have some privacy and wishes for drinks to be provided."

"Very well, inform her Ladyship I will see to it personally," Mr. Carrington stated before turning smartly on his heel and making his way through the manor, Ahern turning back to the double doors that led into the study. Reaching the main foyer, after passing instructions to the kitchens for refreshments to be provided, he was just in time to greet their guest.

"Welcone to Stormvale Manor, Lady Avacyn," he stated. "Her Ladyship will be meeting you in her study. If you will follow me?"

He would lead Kaalia through the richly decorated manor, the fine carpeted halls and staircases. It was evident of the wealth on display, the meshing of cultures between Fiolette's Galidraani tastes and Taeli's more subdued tastes of darker woods. Upon reaching the double doors, he would open the doors and usher Kaalia inside. She would step into a room one part office, with state of the art communications and computer technology, and one part library with shelves groaning under the weight of various tomes ranging from the sciences to Sith writings. Taeli was seated at her desk, a chair pulled out by her maid for Kaalia to take.

"Lady Avacyn, it has been far too long," she said in greeting.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

As though everything was meticulously timed to always be on cue, the moment the doors opened there was a man to greet Kaalia and welcome her into the manor proper. It, as the exterior had already alluded to, was a much more luxurious home than what she and her wife had built on their own estate on Dromund Kaas. It wasn't for a lack of funds, however; it came down to the simply fact that neither Ishana nor herself wanted or needed any more than what they had. Still, the woman could definitely respect not only the effort it required to design but also the time that had to be sunk into the upkeep of a building such as this, and it was far from the first time she visited a place of this caliber. Adjusting was far from difficult for her.

"The hospitality is much appreciated," Kaalia responded, her tone and choice of words properly adjusted to the setting. The question that was asked required no verbal answer and as such the woman simply nodded and stepped up behind Mr. Carrington as he began leading her through the manor. As much as she wasn't much into the idea in calling a place like this home, while being escorted to the study she found the interior design to be quite appealing to look at and took it in much like one took in an art piece.

The sight and sound of two doors opening was the signal that Kaalia's attention was to shift from the features of the manor to one of its owners, the one who had invited her here today. Stepping inside, she gave Taeli a modest bow like she did to all who stood at the upper echelons of the Sith Empire like they both did. "I thank you for your invitation, lady Raaf," the woman said while she approached the chair that had been placed there for her. "It has indeed been quite some time." Although it did not show on the outside, a close eye was kept on the other people, waiting until they were truly speaking in private. That very moment was when she continued. "If my memories of it are not of the fabricated kind, at least. Quite frankly, not a single moment before my introduction to the Brotherhood that would become the Empire is exempt from being called into question. I think it is safe to say we have never had a proper introduction, however." After all, the encounter on Mustafar had merely been a brief one if her recollection was correct. "I am very grateful for your willingness to help. Know that I would gladly return the favor in the future."

Kaalia took the seat that was offered to her before continuing. "Seeing you were so courteous to invite me to your very home, it is no more than fair for me to introduce myself as Kaalia Pavanos. I trust you understand when I say that I make a concious effort to ensure that those who know me as Darth Avacyn know not of the other name." Perhaps it was a risk she took by revealing it, but it brought them on equal footing and with Taeli's willingness to lend a hand, it felt off to ask to be addressed as Avacyn. "Our correspondence beforehand did not use that name for the same reason." A simple precaution.

"Speaking of names, would Raaf or Arcanix be the preferred name?" Over the years, Kaalia had found out that it was better to ask beforehand.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

"Taeli, please," she said, steepling her fingers on her desk. It had been a very long time since they had first met, during the First Order invasion of Mustafar. Taeli had been leading a New Jedi Order team that was exploring Vader's Castle. Even as a secret Sith, she had wanted it destroyed as soon as possible to deny the First Order any chance of gaining anything from it. However, Omai Rhen had overruled her objections and the following battle had shown she should have been listened to. She had confronted Ara Zambrano, Connor Harrison, and Kaalia in the depths of the castle, challenging Connor as the other two moved on as part of a ruse for a plan for Connor that never panned out.

"You were rather vague in your message, Kaalia, but from what I understood, you're worried that your memories have been modified yes?"

It was an intriguing puzzle, and she was rather curious who might have found a way into her fellow Sith Lord's head. Had something occurred when she left the First Order? Perhaps during her tutelage when she began as a Sith? She was unsure who her Sith mentor had been.

"What prompted this realization?" she asked.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

"Taeli it is, then." Kaalia responded to confirm, dropping one of the layers of formality in her tone. A conversation on a first name basis was always much more friendly and did not require the use of formal language on nearly the same scale, so for her this was as far removed as one could get from an issue. Of course, that did not mean her fellow Sith Lady would be shown any less respect. She always ensured that those who deserved it knew they were given what they were due.

At the first question, the woman nodded as she weaved her fingers together and placed her hands on the desk, the rather serious look on her face revealing that it weighed quite heavily on her. "As far as I can tell, it is the only realistic explanation. If the reformed memories and the claims of people from my past are correct, my time within the First Order was drastically different from what had originally thought. Still, I have no idea what is truly going on." Her hands separated and while her right hand balled into a fist, her left palm covered it. "I was told by two different people, at two different times, that them and I both served in a group named the Knights of Ren in the past. However, I have no recollection of the existence of such an order whatsoever."

When the next question followed, Kaalia's mind went back to the day she last met Mishel. "This realization dawned on me when I met one of the two people I talked about. At first I did not recognize her, but somehow some of my memories that had never included her before suddenly did. Ever since then small flashes have been changing at seemingly complete random, as if some kind of power that has been placed there to create it has partially lost its grip." The thing she was most afraid of was her memories of Ishana. So far they had all remained untouched, preserving the chance they were true, but she wouldn't know what she would've done if she found out there was anything between them that wasn't genuine. Even if had had been only that Kaalia wouldn't let it rest until she knew the truth, but it was far from the only question she simply needed answered. "As I said, I am at a complete loss. Which is what brought me to you."

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

Taeli didn't move as Kaalia answered her questions, pondering what exactly might be causing the issues with her memory. Perhaps a block or spell had been created, some member of the Knights of Ren wanting to make sure that Kaalia, when she left, could not reveal certain things. It was possible it was also her own brain trying to repress the memories, some trauma her subconscious did not want to remember, but was slowly being forced to due to outside stimulation. Or it could be more farfetched reasons such as the Kaalia before her was a clone that had been implanted with memories, but no... that didn't feel right.

Taeli's maid returned as Kaalia finished speaking, placing a tray with a pot of Bastion Black tea and two cups before retreating back through the door.

"That is something I have always found odd about the Knights of Ren," she said, pouring herself a cup of tea. "They try and cling so much to secrecy when the cat came out of the bag, so to speak, when the war with Galactic Alliance began. It is possible that one of the other Masters in their order," she had to take a sip of her drink to hide her distaste, "or even the Supreme Leader placed a block on your memories when you left. We encountered each other, briefly, during your time with the First Order as well."

She set her drink down on the tray, getting out of her chair to walk over to one of the various artifacts dotting the study.

"Fortunately, I have some experience with this," she continued, plucking a geode from its place and bringing it back to her desk. "I spent some time learning with the Theran Listeners, a Force sect on Nam Chorios. One of their specialties is dealing with memory, in all its shapes and purposes. They could just as easily make you forget something as they can make you remember. It was an interesting several months, but I learned their techniques, which we might use today to help you solve this mystery."

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Kaalia's attention turned to the maid who had entered the room, greeting her with a nod like how she had done to all other personnel she had met so far. Her silence was kept to emulate Taeli's reaction, something she had learned to do in these kind of situations over the years. Be it an estate, palace, or another place where there were servants, they could all have different expectations in how one was expected to react to them. Some were never expected to be talked to for more than absolutely necessary, where in other cases it was important to be more jovial towards them. For that reason it was often best to do as the host did, the woman had found.

After the maid had left, Kaalia's ear focussed on what Taeli had to say while her eyes tracked how the tea was poured. After she had done so, she herself would follow her example. To make sure it wouldn't be spilled she did not see Taeli's effort to hide her distaste of the Knights of Ren with a sip of her own cup. "So I was on Mustafar in their name, as I presumed." It wasn't very surprising, but the confirmation of any memory being true or certain facts being revealed by others was always reassuring, even if it was just a little. Those moments were rare and this time it meant that perhaps more could be uncovered. Every piece of the puzzle was gladly accepted, because as large as the mystery was, missing even a miniscule bit meant her history would never be fully complete. "As we had discussed in passing, a fragment of that encounter had returned to me recently. That is what prompted me to contact you." She took her first sip of the tea, letting it quickly go down her throat as to not scald her tongue. Still, the flavor that swiftly passed by was quite good. "I must say, this tea has a rich flavor. I will have to get some for at home."

Her conversation partner then stood up and began to move over to one of the many artifacts the room featured. Kaalia looked over to where the geode was being retrieved, but what she said while she walked back to her seat had her intrigued the most. With an "oh?" her interest in what it meant exactly was aired and fortunately the explanation followed immediately after. As she listened it took a lot out of her to keep down a smile- much like how Taeli had hid her distate before she took a sip of her tea to disguise it- but the thought of how this potentially could have been exactly what she needed was too strong to be tempered. "That sounds like music to my ears," Kaalia had to admit, "a chance to regain what I lost. If you are willing to use the techniques you have learned to lift this blockade, I would be eternally grateful."

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

"The tea is produced locally. It has been my favorite blend for years now," Taeli said, sitting back down across from Kaalia and placing the geode between them. It had been an amusing clue that no Jedi had ever picked up on. Bastion Black tea, only grown on Bastion, and the planet had been a hub of dark side activity for years. Primeval and then the Sith. Ah well, it didn't matter now. Once again, she took a sip from her own cup and savored it for a moment as Kaalia spoke.

"It is a good thing my payment for rendering such a service is... a favor in the future," she said, a hint of a smile on her lips. Eternal gratitude was nice and all, but a favor that could be cashed in later, well that was infinitely better. And as Kaalia would know, between Sith, nothing was ever for free. Everything had its price, some just demanded more than they should. "It should be relatively simple to lift the block on your memories, but I cannot guarantee it won't be painful or cause some sort of mental or emotional backlash. Memories are tricky things after all."

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

When it came to Sith, even among themselves, everything had a price and if it did not that was a telltale sign there was something sinister beneath the surface. If things weren't crystal-clear, walking away was the best thing one could do. If anything however, Kaalia preferred things to be that way. If there was a price, it was honest. A simple trade of goods or services. The moment one was aware of how things worked it was easy to separate those who you can trust and those you were better off keeping at a distance. Another sip of the liquid was taken while watching the woman in front of her smile just faintly, before nodding thoughtfully as she gently set the cup back down.

"As much as I dislike being in somebody's debt, for this I shall make an exception. Before the deal is sealed, though," Kaalia said in a friendly yet assertive manner, "one thing I dislike more than debt is not knowing what this debt is in the fullest detail. This, however, is something I'm sure doesn't have to get in the way of anything." The promise of free services was how the foolish attempted to deceive another, but vague demands were what those who knew better used. "You understand I want to know what I am getting myself into, right?" After all, a deal made on an unequal playing field was never something Kaalia would let herself become the victim of easily.

The warning that followed after, however, raised little concern within the redhead. "The plagueing memories have been quite tiring as time has gone on, but I'd like to pride myself on my mental fortitude." It was something that had seeped into her very identity as a Sith down to the name and titles she wore, from the Kro Varian legend of Avacyn, the guardian angel who battled the demons who tormented her, slaying them and using their essence to gift the power of elemental shaping to the people she protected, to her mantle of Lady of Defiance. The trait had always been something that stood at the very core of her being, but as it had been tested many times over it had only strengthened. "I do appreciate the warning, though. I will know to be prepared once we have settled on the details of our agreement."

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

"I certainly respect that stance," Taeli said, raising her cup in a sort of salute. "You need not worry about the favor being anything... over the top. I have it on good authority you're rather accomplished at Kro Var shaping techniques. You could say I am... a collector of sorts when it comes to studying or learning more exotic Force techniques. Others would certainly call me a bookworm. So my price is rather simple. I help you with your memories, and you teach me some of the Kro Var techniques you know."

Regrettably, for her, she had never had the chance to travel to Kro Var to learn their elemental shaping techniques. It had been on her list, but wars and other duties had made it hard to travel and spend months at a time learning new techniques. Much like wanting to learn from the Aing-Tii, it was still on her list, but it was much harder nowadays. Her day was wasted if she didn't learn one new thing in it at least.

"If that is acceptable to you, we can begin as soon as you like."

One other thing Taeli had failed to mention was that, using this technique, Taeli would also be able to view all of the memories. Thus, she would also be increasing her knowledge of the First Order and the Knights of Ren, if only from Kaalia's perspective. Not that she had a reason to use such information, she just would have access to it if she ever needed it for some reason or other.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A modest smirk crept onto Kaalia's face while she nodded to confirm Taeli was not mistaken. "You would be right in that I practice elemental shaping. In fact, I consider it to be my expertise," she explained, not afraid to show through her posture and tone of voice she was quite confident about that fact that nobody within the Sith Empire could rival her skill in manipulating the elements, perhaps even the entire galaxy. It was doubtful anyone exceeded her with the sheer amount of dedication she had placed into honing her abilities over the years. "Ask another Kro Varian and they would name me a heretic for not learning it the traditional way, but ways of old are stagnant." The woman did not have to explain why a Sith opposed stagnation. "What matters is that one learns, not how one learns."

Kaalia's eyes trailed downwards towards the geode, but the decision on whether to accept the deal or not required no second thought. "I would be glad to indulge you in the art of shaping, so it is most definitely acceptable. Do keep in mind though it effectively consists of four different techniques." Teaching it had always been an interesting process. First, the element that resonated the most to the learner's 'spirit', as a Kro Varian would call it, had to be revealed. The shaping technique of that element was to be elevated to a certain level of mastery first before one could properly connect to the other three. For Kaalia, it had been fire. "Even though I am certain a being with a strong connection to the Force like yourself, not to mention your aptitude for learning, it will take time to fully grasp the full extent of all four elements. Over time, I can help you connect to them, but it will take decicated practice and, as I said, time."

With in her mind the deal being sealed, Kaalia then returned to the reason she had come her in the first place. "But in any case, I see no reason to needlessly delay anything. Ideally, we would begin this moment."

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

"As you wish," Taeli said, placing her excitement at learning a new technique aside for the moment. It would not do for the techniques she would have to be applying here today. She did feel a need to explain the process as they went through it though. It was her teacher side showing, she knew that, but it would likely put that patented paranoia all Sith had at ease. Well, a little anyway. Taeli began drawing on the Force and began to surround Kaalia with it. Nothing threatening, but a mentalism trick that would put her into a slightly mesmeric state, move her into a more calm state of mind that would make the memories easier to recall.

"Do not worry," she said, as she continued to draw Kaalia into that state. "The technique requires the subject be put into a semi-mesmeric state. Much like a meditation trance, it enhances your connection to the Force and the memories temporarily. Place your hands on either side of the geode, and start to recall the memories as they appear in your mind now."

As Kaalia would do so, small pinpricks of light started to appear among the crystals of the geode, bouncing and reflecting off each other until the glow of the crystals almost became a reflective surface. In that energy, a steadily stable image of the memory Kaalia was recalling slowly faded into view for both of them. Unlike normal applications of the technique, where one was placing a block or barrier on a memory, Taeli could see the faint red edges around the image.

"Now, keep that memory in your mind. Normally, this would be where the Theran Listener would be placing a cover or block over the memory. In this case, I will be removing what someone already placed on it. To do it, I surround the block with my own presence in the Force, melding with it and then pulling it away."

As she spoke, she had already started melding with the block. The signature imprinted on it felt familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. Even so, she began pulling it away from Kaalia's memory, piece by piece, until the first memory was liberated from it and would be playing out as it had really occurred in the geode.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

The earlier Kaalia's memories were once again how they were supposed to be, the earlier she would be able to process it all and put it behind her. Although she had pushed through the strain up until that point, taking it away meant lifting the weight off her shoulders, allowing her to fully place her focus on other matters. As such, the prospect of the process beginning that very moment was nothing short of incredible to her. Questions that had been plagueing her could finally be put to rest and the lies implanted into her mind would be purged.

Although at first it was slightly concerning to her, Kaalia forced herself to let things happen and with reality becoming a bit more faded, her memories became all that much easier to summon. For a few seconds she closed her eyes as her hands remained placed around the geode. They shot back open when a memory she had not ordered to appear began to show, but after the initial surprise she let it play out. It brought her to a planet she had not been able to recall until that very moment, but now things were becoming clearer and clearer. She was young and had been placed within the Order of Ren only recently; memories of her struggles between Light and Dark all those years ago now were much more defined.

"That... that is Kaeshana. The events on that planet caused the war between the First Order and the Galactic Alliance."

A little girl lost in a warzone. Kaalia's promise to keep her safe. The inability to keep it when a First Order ally slit her throat while using her as a bargaining chip. Back then it had broken her and looking back on it now it was still a saddening scene, but it was unable to affect her in that way any longer. Such was the harsh truth about the galaxy, it was a broken place beyond repair. The girl's death was unfortunate, but she now knew there was no point in mourning. "How naive I was back then," her conclusion sounded. "But I suppose that is to be expected from someone who believed the Ren had the answers. What desperation can do to a person."

With the memory played out, Kaalia took a breath to take it all in. "If this is anything to go by, there was much more hidden from me than I thought." Time would tell if that assumption was indeed correct or not.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

"I remember the reports from Kaeshana," Taeli said, watching the scene play out. She had not been there herself, busy with other business, but she had seen the reports. That battle had been... a quagmire was the best way to describe it. "There was a level of brutality, on both sides, that was surprising I will admit. Seeing this yet again confirms that to me. But I wouldn't call you naive for promising to keep the young Eldorai girl safe. If you were as strong then as you are now, you could have kept your promise."

She did not refute Kaalia's thoughts on the Ren though. It was painfully clear it had been the Ren who manipulated her memories, and now Taeli was curious which one had done it... and what the consequences of that action would be. Always that insatiable curiosity with her.

"If there is nothing I haven't observed before, it was this. The Knights of Ren know how to recognize a desperate soul."

Ara Zambrano had revealed some of her background during their meeting on Lorrd, and Connor Harrison was a walking example of a drifter, desperately looking for a place to belong after leaving the Silvers. She suspected similar stories could be told for other members of the First Order's Force order.

"Ready to continue?" she asked.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

Taeli's response to what she saw was somewhat curious, but it did raise the philosophical question of whether or not she would have made the promise had it happened this very moment within Kaalia's mind. For a split second the answer veered towards not doing so and perhaps even leaving the girl behind altogether, but it was the ring around her finger that somehow demanded her to remember it was there that changed everything. Being with Ishana had taught her how important family truly was, something she never had before. With the power she now possessed, taking the girl out of the warzone would have been trivial and it kept a piece of a family intact. Although mourning was something the woman didn't do, the memory of that girl had in a way kept her from being consumed by the Dark side. A reminder of where the line between ends justifying means and senseless slaughter was.

"Naivity, incompetence, the result remains the same. Her story taught me a valuable lesson back then, though," Kaalia stated. "As unfortunate as her death was, I did grow from it. Kaeshana taught me a lot about the barbaric nature of the galaxy." Even though the events had been hidden from her memories, the lessons learned had remained with her throughout the years. It had shaped the way she viewed the galaxy as a whole and made her realize there would never be a thing such as true peace. It was a lie and to live one was to meet with death sooner rather than later. Accepting the truth and not shying away from the chaos and conflict granted her the strength to get where she was today.

The comment that followed solicited a chuckle from the redhead, nodding in agreement. "But you cannot hide reality forever. At one point or another they will see through your deception and refuse to be used as a mere tool any longer. Desperation fades eventually." Most would meet their end before reaching that point, but she herself did get there.

Kaalia then nodded, letting Taeli know she was ready to continue. One by one the memories were freed from their restraints, every single one revealing just that slight bit more of the woman's past. The friendship with Ara that had formed over time fell into place with various memories being properly restored, but with the knowledge she had today it was difficult to look back at it in a positive light. All throughout the restoration she was dismissive of any questions about those events, instead simply wishing to move on without paying it any mind.

Other moments like the training she had gotten from Jaron Lesan and the various conflicts on planets such as Skor II and Hoth came and went, every one of them pieces of the puzzle that made the picture that much clearer. Of Hoth certain memories turned out to have remained untouched, including, to her relief, the one that had worried her the most. The middle of a battlefield during a blizzard had hardly been the most conventional place and time, but it was there where Ishana had proposed to Kaalia out of the blue after saving her now-wife from certain death inside the downed fighter she had piloted. It showed her those memories were real, that everything between them was real. It was difficult to hide her happiness in that moment.

The continuous process of unlocking her memories had taken its toll on Kaalia, however. She was clearly fatigued, but now all that remained was the last piece. It would reveal who or what, and especially how, her past had been hidden away from her. Her questions were almost answered and after this, they could be put to rest.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

Taeli understood the lesson of how barbaric the galaxy was. She had experienced it herself, in a dark alley a few days before she was going to leave Lorrd and explore the galaxy over a decade ago now. Looking back... she was not sure if she would change what had happened. It had started her along the path she was on now. A powerful and respected Sith, a successful CEO, and all the things she had accomplished since being recruited by Darth Praelior so many years ago. She liked to think she had surpassed her old master.

But having fought in two wars now, plus everything else she had seen with her time as a Sith and embedded in the Jedi... the galaxy truly needed the order only the Sith could provide to stop total anarchy and barbarism.

"Indeed, the truth will out eventually," she said as they continued going through and releasing the true nature of Kaalia's memories. It was interesting to watch what was essentially the woman's life play across the geode, to see the events and people that had shaped her life, and shine a metaphorical light on the memories to be sure they were true. The process might be straining Kaalia, not surprising considering the wave of emotions the technique could cause, but Taeli could feel a slight strain starting for her as well.

But that last question had yet to be answered, and Taeli was very curious who did it.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

As the clouds that concealed the memory came into view in the geode, Kaalia recoiled for a moment. The cause was a headache that shot through like a lightning bolt, making it feel like her head was splitting open and in response she slammed her eyes shut while her breathing got heavier. After the sudden shock of the arrival of the agonizing sensation she recomposed herself and although the pain did not subside she muscled through it like she had done many times before. Her pupils began to show the corrupting red and sulphur colors of the Dark side, the outward sign she was enveloping herself in it. Taeli could also easily feel it through the Force. "Whoever did all this really didn't want me to know who they were, it seems. Unfortunately, I have other plans." Her breathing had normalized but her voice still betrayed the fact she wasn't very comfortable, to say the least. "Okay, time to see who's the culprit."

Kaalia braced herself for the pain to get worse with every pull at the block that was placed, and she wasn't wrong. Her hands tightly gripped the armrests of the chair but her determination to find the truth did not dimish even the slightest bit, and so she kept her eyes locked with the geode to see the process for herself. Within the memory itself the woman looked battered, a gruesome sight yet one likely neither were unfamiliar with. She was brought to an artifact and was forced to stand in front of it and place her hands on it. Then, in the memory, she looked to the side to reveal the one who had caused it all.

"Samka Derith. Otherwise known as Decitus Ren. I remember now. I remember everything."

The block lost its strength and quickly dissolved entirely and with that clarity was returned to Kaalia's mind. The pain disappeared with it, allowing her to recollect herself. "I was excommunicated from the Ren and they altered my memories to ensure the secrecy of their order." A small chuckle followed, amused by the thought that brought her to her next point. "The reason why that happed was because they discovered I had ties with the Sith. I suppose I should consider myself fortunate I wasn't killed instead."

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

How interesting she thought as it was finally revealed who had placed the block on her memories, and more importantly for Taeli, how she had done it. So the Knights of Ren had some sort of artifact that they could use to rewrite the memories of their operatives. Very interesting indeed. She had to wonder if perhaps they used it on a regular basis to control their members, making sure they developed exactly how the Masters of their order wished them to develop.

"Such extremes to go through," Taeli said, tapping her chin in thought. She had met Samka a few times, both when she was undercover among the Galactic Alliance, and now among the Sith. Now that was interesting to note for later as well. "Are they so... paranoid about their secrets slipping out?"

Or it could be along her earlier thoughts that the Masters of Ren were desperate to hold onto the power they held, and this was yet one more way that they sought to maintain and consolidate it.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

"Blind loyalty."

Kaalia could have left it with that. A nearly perfect two-word answer, but to get the full picture behind it more explanation was needed. "Desperate souls are brought in and although it fades eventually, it does leave its mark on those who stay. The ones who truly believe their supreme leader is some kind of god. They are told to remain in the shadows, and they will do everything necessary to do so. Yet, they still clearly fail." As things began to sink in, she became more and more relieved she was no longer among their numbers. Without being restrained by their doctrine and gaining the ability to truly stake her own claim in the galaxy, she had flourished. One merely had to look at one of the two sides of her life alone to be able to conclude that already, whether it was her status among the Sith or her life back home. "Anyone who does not blindly follow is cast out, although most are killed. It makes me wonder why I was kept alive, especially since one of their numbers would come after me in an attempt to 'finish the job', so to speak." With her memories returned to her, Kaalia now knew it was Brennan Cabrol, or Caehl Ren, someone who was particularly fanatical when it came to serving the Ren.

Looking into her cup, she saw there was still a sip of her tea left. It had gotten cold by now and she couldn't help but find it to be a shame. A mental reminder was made to buy some for herself before leaving for Dromund Kaas again. "I suppose only Decitus will be able to answer that question, however, and I somehow doubt she'll indulge me. If we even come face to face ever again, that is." For Kaalia, there was nothing left in First Order territory and her duties within the Sith Empire didn't get her involved in anything related to the nation either, so the chance of running into one of the figureheads of their secret sect was not even worth considering. "One thing I know for certain, however. I got lucky."

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Kaalia Pavanos"]

"Hmmm I see my initial opinions continue to be satisfied," she said as Kaalia explained the blind loyalty and fanaticism within the Knights of Ren. She found such... utterly boring, and worse, stifling of creativity. One could never appear to be stronger than their Supreme Leader or know something he did not. Oh no, that would not do at all she was sure. Now she was even more curious about interviewing Decitus or Samka, whichever she preferred, and dissecting the belief system of the Ren even more. Everything she had seen and heard just made her think them inferior to the Sith.

"Lucky indeed, my friend," she said, tipping her teacup at Kaalia. "It sounds like such a stagnate place, constantly having to tiptoe if one desires greater power or reach. I confess myself... disappointed. But then again, I suppose I should not be surprised considering my own encounters with the Ren while with the Alliance. I was... less than impressed."

But Taeli was working on that, slowly true, but working on convincing yet another member of their Order to defect to the Sith. Eventually anyway, the seeds had to germinate further.

"You may keep the geode, by the way," she said, gesturing at the tool on the desk. "It will retain a copy of your blocked memories within it, something you never know that might be useful."