Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Critique The Greek

"There's no better way to improve your writing than having others rain shit upon it." - Socrates

All feedback welcome!

I have been lately really trying to improve two aspects of my writing that I believe are at a subpar level:

a ) Show, don't tell - I suck at doing this and I overuse active verbs.
b ) Story/Plot creation - no comment.

But I am also 100% sure there's many other aspects I need to work on so I leave that to the audience to bring up!

Shoot.
 
Jude Falkrowe said:
a ) Show, don't tell - I suck at doing this and I overuse active verbs.
A good article to read if you want to improve on this. It gives an example of turning a tell-y passage into a show-y one.

As the article states, this will increase the amount of words you use to describe an action. The best way to keep your posts from becoming lengthy would be to then OMIT ALL THE (unnecessary) WORDS. Common Star Wars factoids are one. Repeating descriptions you've already given in previous posts (everyone loves reminding everyone their character's eye color every post) or descriptions already shown in your avatar. Reducing adverb usage in favor of more accurate/nuanced verbs.

Basically anything you can snip out of the post but still make it enjoyable for the people you're roleplaying with.
 

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