Jsc
~Still Surfin
So I'm in Walmart and I'm talking to this old friend of mine from Manchester. He's a Brit and his accent is thick and pronounced. We're talking about the World Cup when a Hispanic guy walks by and says: What? A red-coat? I F'ing hate red-coats.
We turn and stare at this little guy. He's 5 foot nothing, pudgy, and is wearing too much gold jewelry for us to take him seriously at all.
Then he pulls out a 22 pistol and points it at my friend.
I hold up my hands and frantically manage to say that nobody here is British. We're just Soccer fans and are faking the accent for sport. My friend switches to his best John Wayne and improvises a reply. The guy looks angry but slips away his tiny gun back into his vest. He says good and something unintelligent about how the English can't be trusted with the colonies. I smell the booze on him now and notice that his shopping cart is full of nothing but orange juice. I'm sweating and can't say or think anything right now either.
The short man leaves and we retreat to a safer vantage point from which to make our escape. Following a frantic WTF moment we grab some help. The short Hispanic male leaves the Walmart in a brown van and the Cops are given his plates. The Manager thanks us for not dying in his store as we commend the short fellow for his patriotism this July 2nd.
Also, my friend now thinks that America has a gun problem. I said yes, a 22 is rather small but easily concealable. ...But I don't think that's what he meant.
- Jay, <--- Who dispite Sarges claims has yet to actually get shot.
We turn and stare at this little guy. He's 5 foot nothing, pudgy, and is wearing too much gold jewelry for us to take him seriously at all.
Then he pulls out a 22 pistol and points it at my friend.
I hold up my hands and frantically manage to say that nobody here is British. We're just Soccer fans and are faking the accent for sport. My friend switches to his best John Wayne and improvises a reply. The guy looks angry but slips away his tiny gun back into his vest. He says good and something unintelligent about how the English can't be trusted with the colonies. I smell the booze on him now and notice that his shopping cart is full of nothing but orange juice. I'm sweating and can't say or think anything right now either.
The short man leaves and we retreat to a safer vantage point from which to make our escape. Following a frantic WTF moment we grab some help. The short Hispanic male leaves the Walmart in a brown van and the Cops are given his plates. The Manager thanks us for not dying in his store as we commend the short fellow for his patriotism this July 2nd.
Also, my friend now thinks that America has a gun problem. I said yes, a 22 is rather small but easily concealable. ...But I don't think that's what he meant.
- Jay, <--- Who dispite Sarges claims has yet to actually get shot.
