"When humans design machines with quasi-personalities, they never realize how very much that implies."
-Obi Wan Kenobi
"Ever wonder about that astromech as it beeps and whistles while dulling out repairs to your fighter? Have you ever considered the fluttering shutters of your tutor droid's photo receptors while it instructs a classroom full of excited Chiss? The answer is no, you never do - but you should. The mysterious language of the droids is veiled secret that they don't want you to know about. They are smarter than we give them credit for - they have their own thoughts, their own datapools evolve over time, and with enough proximity to behavioral modifications, and our own personalities - you may just have a mouse droid that is one cycle away from rinsing your mouth out with motor oil the next time you fall asleep. Yes, you can breathe again - and feel relieved, because I'm back for the next installment of project whatsitcalled? For now we're going with UNTITLED."
The holo-cam bobbed up and down lightly, using gyro-stabilizers to keep the camera mostly in one spot, focusing on the slicer. Currently the goggle-wearing holo-net expert with a mouth was hanging upside down at an undisclosed location, but apparently pretty high up in the atmosphere. Resting precariously upon several intermingled wires and working on a circuit panel on some un-named and hard to place metallic structure. A miniature plasma torch hung from his belt while his Goggles provided safety from the spars that flew off as he worked with the wiring inside. Wind brushed through the spiked hair as his form rocked slightly back and forth.
"Droids are great, no denying that. Handy little buggers - and they deserve respect. Yeah, I know, there I go preaching about droidcare. It's number five on my seventeen segment wheel of soapbox topics. I think I need to add more though, get a nice even number like forty-two, sixty-four, or even seventy-three. Anyways, back on topic...you got me rabbit trailing. Droids are great, but there have always been ghosts in the machines. Random segments of code that are grouped together to form unexpected protocols. Unanticipated, these free-radicals engender questions of free-will; creativity. And even the nature of what we might call, the soul....wow. Okay now I'm just channeling the great droid makers of the past. These questions and more point us in the direction I'm heading. What if it wasn't random, or a chance encounter with a personality drive playing at over-achievement? What if we made this on purpose?"
The lens focus went from blurry to clear as the holo-cam shifted to the other side of Dash and zoomed in again. The wiring was a mess, but he was making progress. Several of those smaller wires were piped into the tech gauntlets that lit up cerulean on his arms. Data streamed down seamlessly into their storage devices while he worked on compiling out what he needed, and what wasn't going to work. He hated junk data, just a clusterfeth of information that he wanted to get rid of well before it was time to compile all of this. He was obviously on the job, or he was taking something else he needed for the project; it was hard to say.
"If a personality, a real honest to Force self-aware system is the goal, how do you manufacture that? Personality isn't made, it's shaped - and just like yours truly, there are a set of circumstances that formed even this amalgam of memes and viral-vids that put together this puzzle package you see before you. That's right ladies, there is more to this slicer than meets the eye..and since the view is good enough to drop jaws, just imagine what the sweet candy center is like. All this and more can be yours for the low low price of...nevermind. I will however seal the deal for a pantry of puffcakes and real red hair. None of that fake stuff."
The smirk on his face told the tale as he sealed up the metal plating with the plasma torch. Hot slags peppered his goggles casting reflections in every direction as he completed his job and was prepping to get outta there and back to terra-firma. A whistling tune could be heard on the feed while he worked. Whistling was important, one of the three main tenements of work - but more importantly were the five ways to get out of doing it. Dash was a certified zen master in the ways of avoiding things that were unpleasant. Most of those ways involved some form of bribery, delegation, or procrastination.
"So take your droids seriously, and understand what makes them tick aside from a good spark here and there. Have your droid refreshed and tuned every two thousand cycles and they will be less likely to stab you in the back later on. You know I was gonna hit that commercial break at some point. While Droids do it on seeming accident, an intelligence system that actually thinks - well that's a droid of a different color. It's not a droid at all, or should I say she? Yeah like I said, data is female and it's only fitting that a moody personality with all the right nav-points be just as hot to trot. That's the next step though, once that data spine is properly aligned, next comes the molten center of a complex emotional core matrix."
Dash checked his chronograph on his vambrace and then looked at the camera, pulling up the goggles for a moment as he offered a wink to the camera. He'd stowed away long enough on this vessel above him, and he was ready to end this new session speech. There was still a lot of work to be done, but he'd been putting off this holocast for a bit too long. Genius took a little more time than he was generally giving things, and thus the slicer had to pace himself.
"Join us next time for navigating the maze and web of the female collective, and getting an inside look at how the chemistry of the brain, and the desires of the heart translate into an iron lady with a heart of gold...connecting spark points. Looking forward to our next rendezvous. Same Dash station, same Dash channel."
A two finger salute was taken as Dash dropped out of frame and into the air below. A few moments later the holocam spun around to see a smaller transport with a crouching slicer ontop jet off into the distance as the video feed also blinked out.
