Faction Which is the mask? (Lily Decoria - THR Open)

[Connel Vanagor]

Words don’t hurt, but heal?
Shiraya Sanctuary
Landing Pad

Omega Squad Every Day Gear Locations

• Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
  [Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]
• 
  Rides
  
  • "Enterprise" Station Ship
  • "Jedi Defender" Corvette
  • X-wing
  • Speeder
  • Speederbike
  • Iron Psalm
  Gear
  
  
  • Nano-Tech Armor (For Emergencies)
  • Headset Microphone Comm-Link
  • Mobile "Bodycam" Datapad
  • Lightsaber
  SURGICAL - CRYBERNETIC IMPLANTS
  
  • Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
  • Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
  • Muscle enhancements.
  • Hemo enhancements for blood flow
  • Hawkeye implants for eyes
  • Advanced Medical Implant
  • Scentzy
  • Injected Nanotech upgrades
  
  
  
• Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise

He landed.

The ship was still settling on the landing pad as he sat on a bench at the end of the access path to the berth. He gazed at the distant skyline, its lights shimmering against the dark expanse. The faint hum of the ship's engines faded into silence, replaced by the ambient sounds of the bustling port. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the mission ahead.

Heh “mission”. Everything to him is a “mission”.

Buster was there, sitting in front of him, being a best friend. Of course, Connel was giving him “rubbies” and “pets” as well as treats, but just that was making Connel smile. It was weird for Vanagor as he was used to a solitary existence, save Buster, and a few others. So why was he here? He questioned his presence in this bustling port, a place so unlike the solitude he knew. Yet, the companionship of Buster and the faint sense of purpose tugged at him. Perhaps this “mission”, however unusual, offered something more than just another task—a chance for connection or growth.

When he was on Dxun, Brooke Waters said something to him about his father that Connel had not really thought about. It hit him hard, in the best possible way. Truth be told he doesn’t know how to handle it, but he’s working on it. Maybe that was what brought him back to Naboo, to this Temple. The last time he was here, he walked out of a gathering of Jedi because he saw it as nothing more than failed Commiseration.

While the “not real Shadow” as he admitted with a chuckle that day on Dxun left rather abruptly, and did not really know if he could count himself among the Jedi anymore, because of his tactics. It was his choices that brought him here then, and now. Maybe that was enough.

Then why was he still sitting on this bench?

Simple. He was working up the nerve to go in and walk around, introduce himself to those he might not have met, try and be friendly if not make friends. This is a rare time he does not wear his gear, and his mindset was not in that “ariel” mode… might as well take advantage of it.

Right?

Lily Decoria • Open
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Naboo, Shiraya Temple
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Arwr Da, Hydrangea Moonblade (concealed)
Tag: Connel Vanagor

Lily had been training hard, working on the agility and pushing her cardio to their limits. Now that she had been given the role of Battlemaster, Lily was more determined than ever to demonstrate why this was deserved. Why she was a worthy successor to Lossa and would ensure that she upheld a high standard of physical strength as well as combat prowess. It was probably something that others would say was unnecessary or was not something that Lily needed to be too concerned about but she was still a fairly new Jedi Knight and the last thing that Lily wanted to do was fail as being Battlemaster.

After a shower and changing into something comfortable and relaxed, Lily began to wander the halls of the temple. Keeping an eye out on anyone who needed her help or attention. The Force guided her more towards the landing pads near the temple and there she saw a lone figure sitting on a bench. It was strange to see someone sitting alone in this area. Usually they are always keen to get inside the temple or busy unloading their ships. He seemed to either building the courage to move first or he was observing his surroundings.

Lily continued her approach, her trainers were noiseless as she moved delicately forward with her hands placed behind her. As she moved closer, the face was not one that Lily recognised personally but the aura was one that she was familiar with. Having spent time within the Hidden Path, being present at the conclave and having been an active member of the New Jedi Order. She knew what Connel's Force presence was like and as she sat down next to him, Lily took the time to gently place her hands on her lap and lean back on the bench, admiring the view from where they were. Not saying anything immediately, especially because there wasn't much to say initially.

The Battlemaster wanted to take the time to form her words correctly.

"So, you decided to return, Connel." Lily stated, informing Connel that she knew who he was without the armour and mask. "I am glad to see that you have returned. I know the conclave didn't necessarily go to plan. Conversations like those rarely do but I still hope the Jedi can all work together in some regard in handling the Sith. Even if we fight in different ways." Lily mentioned, introducing some small talk. Not wanting to jump to anything major in case it was too much, too quickly for Connel.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Words don’t hurt, but heal?
Shiraya Sanctuary
Landing Pad

Omega Squad Every Day Gear Locations

• Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
  [Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]
• 
  Rides
  
  • "Enterprise" Station Ship
  • "Jedi Defender" Corvette
  • X-wing
  • Speeder
  • Speederbike
  • Iron Psalm
  Gear
  
  
  • Nano-Tech Armor (For Emergencies)
  • Headset Microphone Comm-Link
  • Mobile "Bodycam" Datapad
  • Lightsaber
  SURGICAL - CRYBERNETIC IMPLANTS
  
  • Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
  • Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
  • Muscle enhancements.
  • Hemo enhancements for blood flow
  • Hawkeye implants for eyes
  • Advanced Medical Implant
  • Scentzy
  • Injected Nanotech upgrades
  
  
  
• Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise

That’s the thing about one’s aura.

Masks mean nothing. Unless you are suppressing your aura, others who know you will recognize you.

Not that he was hiding.

This is Buster. He didn’t remember if he had introduced the pup before, who was in “wigglebutt” mode right now, whining happily, looking back and forth between Connel and Lily. You can say “hi”, but you have to ask her.

He then looked at the Battlemaster and mouthed the words “no pressure.”

Conclaves are a waste of time… No disrespect intended because those in charge here had the best of intentions, no doubt. With that though, the moment he saw and experienced the comments, and the attitudes around and above him, that was not going to be productive. ... no matter how much those involved try.

A shrug later and it was out of mind.

I may not be the Jedi that you, or others are, but like I said at the Enclave… no matter where a Jedi is… they’re all a part of one Order… even if part of a different sect… one family.

He shrugged again. Families fight sometimes. You fight, you get it out… you move on.

Lily Decoria • Open
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Naboo, Shiraya Temple
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Arwr Da, Hydrangea Moonblade (concealed)
Tag: Connel Vanagor

Taking note of the animal before her, Lily nodded her head to him. She was not someone who had demonstrated much affinity with animals. They were cute, pleasant but Lily also lived a very strict, heavily structured day. Pets in her mind, introduced chaos that she was not prepared to handle. However, she did reach out and give Buster a few pets. Making a mental note to wash her hands afterwards. There was also a slight clean, or germaphobe to Lily as well that probably did not suit the lifestyle of a pet owner.

"They are only a waste of time if the voices heard are ignored and nothing is changed from the outcomes. I learned a lot during my attendance and there were several Jedi that I wished to reach out to and coordinate with that I might not have done if I did not hear what was said during the conclave." There was always a sense of optimism and seeking out the positives of any situation with Lily. Even when faced with bitter defeat and a humiliating loss. Lily would find a positive.

Even with grief and the loss of loved ones. A positive would be found.

"Don't need to be the Jedi I am. In fact, no one can be the Jedi I am. Only I can. No one can be the Jedi that Ala Quin is, only she can be. Same goes for you." Lily mentioned, she knew many saw Jedi as being a group or religion that had only one way to be. But Lily found that there was a large variety of ways to be a Jedi and none of them were wrong. As long as you did your best to help others.

"What brought you back here today, Connel?" Lily looked over to him as she continued to pet Buster a little more.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Words don’t hurt, but heal?
Shiraya Sanctuary
Landing Pad

Omega Squad Every Day Gear Locations

• Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
  [Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]
• 
  Rides
  
  • "Enterprise" Station Ship
  • "Jedi Defender" Corvette
  • X-wing
  • Speeder
  • Speederbike
  • Iron Psalm
  Gear
  
  
  • Nano-Tech Armor (For Emergencies)
  • Headset Microphone Comm-Link
  • Mobile "Bodycam" Datapad
  • Lightsaber
  SURGICAL - CRYBERNETIC IMPLANTS
  
  • Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
  • Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
  • Muscle enhancements.
  • Hemo enhancements for blood flow
  • Hawkeye implants for eyes
  • Advanced Medical Implant
  • Scentzy
  • Injected Nanotech upgrades
  
  
  
• Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise

Her reticence to and finally give Buster pensive pets did not surprise Connel at all. Noble had often brought up her prim and proper regiment of training, which made sense. That is why when he had a free hand, he slipped into one of his pockets, pulled out a package of sanitary wipes and offered them. Buster would not be insulted, he’s just a social goober so all was good.

While her positive words were admirable, and brought out a nod or two from him, Lily was not saying anything that Connel did not already know. However he was more than certain that little to nothing came out of it, at least not productively. No slight on anyone attending at all, but for him, it was a waste of time. He would just make things worse if he did anything more than he had.

Fair enough. She misinterpreted what he had said completely, maybe intentionally, didn’t matter. He did not take issue with any of it, there was something his father used to say “Light could shine even in darkness.” True enough, I suppose.

He was not down in the dumps or anything, just realistic. “Aunt” Ala. Father, Noble, even her sitting next to him. They were Jedi. Was he? He questioned his place among them, unsure if he truly embodied the Jedi way. His doubts did not define, but lingered, not out of self-pity but from a sense of uncertainty about his role and purpose. Could he live up to their legacy, or was he merely an outsider trying to fit in? It all boils back to the mask.

When she asked him why he was here, he shrugged. I’m wondering that myself to tell the full truth. Just waiting for the Force to tell me. Again, no doubt, or issue. Just a genuine answer.

Lily Decoria • Open
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Naboo, Shiraya Temple
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Arwr Da, Hydrangea Moonblade (concealed)
Tag: Connel Vanagor

The wipes were accepted but the slightly obsessive controlling thoughts were reminding Lily they were not going to be enough and she needed to be cautious. However, she gave a smile to Connel, "thank you, that is a kind gesture." Lily wanted to make sure that she was appreciative of others thoughtfulness. It was a secret how slightly obsessive she was with the hand cleaning exercises.

There was clearly a lot going on in Connel's thoughts. Things that he was not sharing. Things that he was thinking to himself but Lily was not going to pressure him into sharing such thoughts. If her words or presence could not provide the satisfactory answers, Lily could only hope that someone else could figure out a way to find the answers needed. For now, Lily focused on what he was saying. "Sometimes we have to do more than sit and wait to find out what the Force is wanting from us."

Looking around the docking bay, "it is curious. I don't think I have seen you without the helmet before Connel. But that might be more on me. I do not think we have really interacted too much beside seeing one another at the big events at the Galactic Alliance, the Hidden Path, and the High Republic." Lily confessed, she looked over to him, "it is nice to see the humanity behind the helmet. Defeats the rumours that you were a shard." Lily smirked, teasing Connel a little, hopefully in good humour.

"Must be tough working as a Jedi Shadow. Using undercover identities, operating in shadows, pursuing missions in the heart of enemy territories. I think I did an undercover mission once, a short lesson to see how other Jedi paths were like. Wasn't easy, I was constantly anxious that I would be caught."

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Words don’t hurt, but heal?
Shiraya Sanctuary
Landing Pad

Omega Squad Every Day Gear Locations

• Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
  [Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]
• 
  Rides
  
  • "Enterprise" Station Ship
  • "Jedi Defender" Corvette
  • X-wing
  • Speeder
  • Speederbike
  • Iron Psalm
  Gear
  
  
  • Nano-Tech Armor (For Emergencies)
  • Headset Microphone Comm-Link
  • Mobile "Bodycam" Datapad
  • Lightsaber
  SURGICAL - CRYBERNETIC IMPLANTS
  
  • Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
  • Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
  • Muscle enhancements.
  • Hemo enhancements for blood flow
  • Hawkeye implants for eyes
  • Advanced Medical Implant
  • Scentzy
  • Injected Nanotech upgrades
  
  
  
• Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise

Even fluffy little lovebug goobers like this guy aren’t for everyone. No worries. Connel then pulled out a treat from his pocket and offered it, which brought Buster over into his hands.

She didn’t trust him. Not enough to believe that he was telling the truth, but that was her cross to bear, not his. So Connel did not really comment on the feeling he was getting from her. True, sometimes we have to do more, but is this one of those times?

Her observation of his history, and what it must like to operate as a Shadow. It was interesting. At first, it sounded like lip service, but it truly was not looking like that after awhile. It made him think more and more about what he had been through, all of it. Did he do important work? Sure. Absolutely. I don’t know that I’m a real “Shadow”, trained as a Guardian… worked with Special Forces… He shrugged.

Had a rough time… when I was Knighted. Didn’t really know how to connect to anyone… added with the admitted self adorned pressure of my surname. The mask came out of necessity. I think it represents how I had to embrace the loneliness I put on myself. I learned to work by myself. That’s not a slight, it just is what it is. Started working more and more with guys I trained with… now the mask represents who I need to be sometimes… I guess…

Then he smirked. I am a “shard.”

Weren’t you just Knighted not that long ago? How did you get so wise so quickly? He offered a smirk of his own. It was actually meant to be complimentary, someone who could come up with such a wise statement at such a relatively young age.

Lily Decoria • Open
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Naboo, Shiraya Temple
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Arwr Da, Hydrangea Moonblade (concealed)
Tag: Connel Vanagor

Lily nodded her head, "apologies then. I didn't mean to assign you a pathway that isn't necessarily reflective of who you are." Lily was earnest in the apology, it was understandable to travel a path less travelled and that blurred the lines of what a person was and where they should be assigned. "I understand some of the pressures of living up to a family name." While Lily had no experiences with the Vanagor name outside of Connel, she had heard things about Caltin and knew there was an impact he had left on several Jedi. "While my family doesn't have the reputation amongst the Jedi as yours does. They are a fairly well-respected family back on Eshan, similar to other planets' middling nobilities. I doubt we will ever be as renowned as House Talon and House Varanin, but there is pressure both conscious and subconsciously place on me to ensure I am doing the best to live up to the family name, and push us further."

"So, fighting became a very crucial thing that I mastered as a child and continue to master as an adult. The ability to fight at a level that others cannot make determines how strong your family is on Eshan." Wealth and charisma didn't hold as much weight as other cultures placed them, they helped but they were not the determinative factors. If one could not fight at the top levels, then they were not worthy of recognition. That was part of the reason why Lily pushed herself to stay constantly on top of her fighting abilities. "That is me in a very round about way of saying that sometimes we all have masks we force ourselves to wear. Adopt identities placed upon us and feel them turn from adopted to set identities." Connel was never the only one to feel this way and she didn't want him to think he was alone.

Lily shook her head and laughed, "well I owe someone a hundred credits if that were to be true. A darn shame."

"Honestly? Trauma." Lily stated bluntly as she looked over to him. "I have faced death a handful of times now, I will continue to face death dozens, if not hundreds of times moving forward. That fact makes you more reflective and that in turns make you come across wiser." There was a shrug of her shoulders, there was no sorrow or mourning of the fact that Lily was living such a dangerous life. It was the path she needed to travel. No one else could handle it like she could, same way that Lily could never handle any path but this one.

"Also why my strength, my ability to fight is significantly higher than the abilities in the Force. More training has been placed into one over the other."

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Words don’t hurt, but heal?
Shiraya Sanctuary
Landing Pad

Omega Squad Every Day Gear Locations

• Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
  [Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]
• 
  Rides
  
  • "Enterprise" Station Ship
  • "Jedi Defender" Corvette
  • X-wing
  • Speeder
  • Speederbike
  • Iron Psalm
  Gear
  
  
  • Nano-Tech Armor (For Emergencies)
  • Headset Microphone Comm-Link
  • Mobile "Bodycam" Datapad
  • Lightsaber
  SURGICAL - CRYBERNETIC IMPLANTS
  
  • Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
  • Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
  • Muscle enhancements.
  • Hemo enhancements for blood flow
  • Hawkeye implants for eyes
  • Advanced Medical Implant
  • Scentzy
  • Injected Nanotech upgrades
  
  
  
• Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise

No need to apologize. We should always try to grow and evolve, especially those in the same world as you and I… this is something we cannot afford to stay stagnant on unfortunately. At least until the galaxy gets to a point where we can. Chuckling to himself as he was jokingly cursing his father for putting words in his mouth, Connel started to “play” with Buster, his best friend who was always there to bring a smile to the Jedi’s face.

It’s funny. If my father were here right now. He would simply shrug you off at mention of the name, and simply say “I’m just another Jedi.” I was raised to, and do feel the same way, but I feel it when someone here’s “Vanagor” and looks at me the same way others have looked at him. It’s “expectations”... probably why I went down the path I did. I owe him so much… which is why I feel like I can’t tarnish his… my name…

He smirked. I know, I know… “my path”... He shrugged.

She was Echani, so it was natural that her background and nature was in fighting, so everything that she had said made a lot of sense. When she was referencing his comment about the mask, he clarified a bit. I was becoming a danger to others, and knew it. After what happened on Vendaxa… he didn’t explain it, but sort of showed the results in pointing out some of his cybernetics… See… told you I was a “shard”... my exo-suit… anyway… when I got out of a six month stay in a bacta tank, every fear of failing him, no matter how small, every bit of self imposed pressure I put on myself manifested into a dual personality. That part of me thought this was a Dark Side presence trying to take over and kill me. I was literally fighting myself. I was not sleeping, one side showing up when the other closed my eyes.

Master Noble saw this and promised not to tell him. Worked things out and the rest is history, instead of fighting it, used it to my advantage until the tolerance rose.

He sighed. It is weird, but cathartic to recall.

I learned how to compartmentalize my skills. Most come to me and sense a certain limit… no one has really seen how far I can go if I needed to.

Lily Decoria • Open
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Naboo, Shiraya Temple
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Arwr Da, Hydrangea Moonblade (concealed)
Tag: Connel Vanagor

Lily did aim to correct Connel when he stated this it was his path, hinting that he knew he should not allow the expectations and beliefs of others set the way he should be going. Instead, Lily focused on another element. "Parents can often try saying the correct things. Make the correct actions. Not setting high expectations, trying to help you forge your own path, telling you that you should not mimic them." Lily spoke as she reflected on the fact that her mother and grandmother were not like that at all. They were the ones demanding the highest out of Lily. "However, that can only amplify the issue not diminish it. It is important to understand that while he might have said he was just another Jedi and nothing special. There was a legacy left in his absence. There is a standard he made that others desire to see in you."

"That isn't his fault, nor should you feel pressured to live up to those standards. But it is healthy to acknowledge the limitations of our parents. They were not perfect beings and we can only hope to live the best lives we can with the tools they gift us." Lily mentioned, she was not expecting anyone to tarnish the reputation or name of Caltin. Just tempering the expectations that Connel was clearly placing on himself. "Your father wasn't just another Jedi, he did a lot of good for a long time. But that doesn't mean you have to follow that path or listen to those who wish you were him. The work you are doing is just as important and could potentially one day do more good than your father did. It could also not, but nothing is wrong with that. Because you are still doing good work either way."

Lily listened to the rest that Connel had to say and nodded her head. Thinking back to her recovery time on Eshan, Lily let out a slow sigh. "So, my time as a Padawan was tough. Plenty of good memories, some of the people closest to me now are because of the connections forged during that Padawan era." Looking up and around the temple, "but it was tough. I pride myself on the ability to fight. Partly because I am Echani and such skills are crucial to my culture, partly because it is the defining way that I work as a Jedi. No one else can do the things that I can do."

"However, that also means I have to be on the frontlines, that I need to find where the battle is the thickest and ensure that I am there doing the best I can to push the enemy back." Lily viewed that the most important elements of her work. "So that means that I have fought some of the worst Sith out there. Even from an early stage in my training. Meant that I have lost more fights against the Sith than I have won. Something that is supposed to be rare for someone like me." Lily was not used to losing a lot of fights, she trained hard, spent long hours ensuring her skills were the best that they could be. For decades now, that had been her way.

"I felt cursed, darkened by the fact that I was not good enough. That I could not ever become strong enough to face the dangers that laid out there. I felt so cursed that I could not sleep, I barely ate and I was wasting away driving myself crazy in the pursuit of becoming the best Jedi I could be. But it was unobtainable because I was never going to be as perfect as my head kept telling me to be." Pulling out her Lightsaber and removing some of the casing to reveal the crystals within. "I went to Eshan, a break from Jedi life for a time. Spent it trying to attune to these crystals. But that meant I had to face the doubts, the fears, the suffering that I was allowing myself to spiral under. Face it all and eventually deal with why I felt the way that I did."

Lily looked over to Connel, "what I am trying to say is that I understand some of what you are feeling. But compartmentalizing your abilities, your mind, that isn't solving the issue. Just delaying it for another day." There was no judgement or concern over Connel for the fracturing mind, that was something Lily completely understood and appreciated could happen with big traumatic events. But burying it, that was not the healthy path to take, something that Lily was far too experienced in doing. "You should bury who you are Connel, you just need to find the balance and acceptance within yourself. Once that happens, then I think you'll find that everyone around you will have a similar acceptance for you as well."

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Words don’t hurt, but heal?
Shiraya Sanctuary
Landing Pad

Omega Squad Every Day Gear Locations

• Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
  [Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]
• 
  Rides
  
  • "Enterprise" Station Ship
  • "Jedi Defender" Corvette
  • X-wing
  • Speeder
  • Speederbike
  • Iron Psalm
  Gear
  
  
  • Nano-Tech Armor (For Emergencies)
  • Headset Microphone Comm-Link
  • Mobile "Bodycam" Datapad
  • Lightsaber
  SURGICAL - CRYBERNETIC IMPLANTS
  
  • Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
  • Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
  • Muscle enhancements.
  • Hemo enhancements for blood flow
  • Hawkeye implants for eyes
  • Advanced Medical Implant
  • Scentzy
  • Injected Nanotech upgrades
  
  
  
• Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise

Perhaps he was not making himself clear.

Perhaps she was just misinterpreting him.

It did not matter, she was trying to help, he could appreciate the gesture.

Oh I get it, just offering more “historical perspective”, you know? Connel’s only true regret about anything that has happened to him or that he has gone through was hearing his father’s true encouragement through holocrons, and not face to face. No fault of Caltin’s he was just too shy to ask.

Heh, thank you for the kind words. He’d probably agree with you and try to kill me if he thought I was worried about tarnishing anything. I think if anything it’s more me wanting to do the name proud for other people than anything. Weird, and unnecessary, I know, but… it happens… I guess. As Buster began to lie down, happy as a clam, Connel smiled at him.

There’s no shame in wanting, or needing to be on the front lines. It’s a role, and it’s who we are. He shrugged. I’ve embraced that a long time ago… heh… obviously… but want to be able to give back in other ways too from time to time. I don’t see anything wrong with that.

Looking off on the horizon, he sighed. My father, my grandfather, my great grandfather… they all died “relatively” young… I’m not afraid of becoming one with the Force… but I want to break the cycle. He shrugged.

Childish, I’m sure.

He sighed. What I meant by “compartmentalizing” is actually an asset. There are a lot who look at me and just see weapons. They don’t even notice that half the time I mask, even cloak my aura and when it comes out… well… He smirked.

I shouldn’t smile at that, but it’s gotten to be fun to see the looks on their faces.

Lily Decoria • Open

[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Lily Decoria]

Location: Naboo, Shiraya Temple
Outfit: Casual
Equipment: Arwr Da, Hydrangea Moonblade (concealed)
Tag: Connel Vanagor

Nodding her head, Lily looked a little apologetic. "Sorry if anything I said or interpreted from you was incorrect." Lily mentioned politely. She was not always the best in understanding what people were trying to say. Leaning back, Lily was not the best in communicating through words like this. It was not the natural way that she communicated but it was the best way that she could approached it. At least for those who were not Echani.

"It can be daunting. There is a lot in life that I wish to experience that there is also fighting and wars on the horizon that make me nervous and guilty for attempting to even think about there being a future for me." Lily wanted to eventually have a family and feel settled in her life but Lily was not sure if she could ever achieve that. "But we do what we can to ensure that future generations never face the evils that we are dealing with. Being a Jedi sometimes means that a long, happy life isn't always on the table. Many Jedi have died young in trying to provide a better future for everyone." Lily wasn't trying to downplay the fears, just acknowledge that it was something that everyone in the Order held in the backs of their minds.

"Maybe someday we can both reflect on this while living in happier times." Lily smiled, showing some the optimism once again.

Lily realised the error in her concerns with the compartmentalizing, "ah. Yes, I can see that side of things. Well, any asset that you can use in combat is a good one, as long as it is controlled. And it seems you have it controlled. I hope someday to demonstrate a level of skill and power to make my enemies realise the errors in their decision to fight me, to fight the Order." Lily stated, it was a day that Lily hoped for soon enough, she pushed herself constantly to be the best fighter she could be. Throwing herself in the most dangerous of situations.

Failure to make the changes in life drained on soul a lot.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Words don’t hurt, but heal?
Shiraya Sanctuary
Landing Pad

Omega Squad Every Day Gear Locations

• Michael, Gabriel, Azrael, Sariel, Raphael, Jeremiel, Connel, Raguel
  [Any text in brackets signifies comm-link usage and not face to face conversation]
• 
  Rides
  "Enterprise" Station Ship
  "Jedi Defender" Corvette
  X-wing
  Speeder
  Speederbike
  Iron Psalm
  Gear
  Nano-Tech Armor (For Emergencies)
  Headset Microphone Comm-Link
  Mobile "Bodycam" Datapad
  Lightsaber
  SURGICAL - CRYBERNETIC IMPLANTS
  Repli Implants that would be for the limbs
  Bonemer enhancements to strengthen structure of the body
  Muscle enhancements.
  Hemo enhancements for blood flow
  Hawkeye implants for eyes
  Advanced Medical Implant
  Scentzy
  Injected Nanotech upgrades
  
  
  
• Shadow Sanctuary - Enterprise

He just scrunched his nose and shook his head at her apology. No apology necessary. He was not really concerned about it all anymore. Perhaps, this catharsis was just what was needed. Perhaps the exchange had cleared the air, allowing them to move forward without lingering tension. He felt a sense of relief, as if the weight of past misunderstandings had been lifted, not between him and Lily of course, they had none, but him and his “stupid overresponsibility” as he called it… heh as his father called it. Now, he could focus on the present moment with a clearer, more composed perspective.

I guess it’s just a “family curse”. He took his role too seriously, and so do I take him. No shame in either… just one of those things, I guess. Buster was looking around enjoying the view and the day at this point.

I guess that is the thing about sons and even daughters… though I’m not one… carrying on that family name… doing it proud. Not a necessity and not for everyone, I’m sure… but it is what it is. He shrugged. He knew that he was carrying on a legacy was not something he felt obligated to do, but he understood its significance for some. He appreciated the freedom to choose his own path while still respecting the past. So while he did not have to, he knew what the weight entailed.

Buster continued to enjoy the day, content with the balance he had found.

Have I congratulated you by the way? “Battlemaster”? He smiled. Titles and positions like this were not for him, it was his father’s influence again, but it was to others and it was still an important thing even if he did not want it. I don’t need to learn anything, but if you ever need me to help teach a class, I’ll be glad to scare… er impart knowledge. A smirk showed he actually had a sense of humor still.

Lily Decoria • Open
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​