Dominion TRAA: Ballad of the Bardotta | GA Dominion of Bardotta

[Spirit of Faith]

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On this episode of the Totally Real Adventures of Auteme…​

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Once again, the Galactic Alliance calls upon Auteme and her friends for assistance. For weeks they’ve been attempting to bring Bardotta into the fold, but negotiations thus far have been unsuccessful. Word has reached the chancellor that leadership of the planet is not what it seems. Life for citizens has gone on as normal, largely unconcerned with the politics of the galaxy. Auteme and her companions must venture to the mystical planet and attempt to secure it for the Alliance. Their reputation may very well depend on it. ​

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Objective I - Sacred Power

After thorough investigation led by Ryv Karis, His Holiness Korrbus Hazzriel is found to be the one spreading lies and controlling the monarch. Further probing has revealed him to be a Sith puppet, powerful and dangerous. His efforts to thwart the Alliance’s goals have been largely successful thus far, but justice must be served. Will the heroes be able to defeat the evil archbishop? ​

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Objective II - Going on a Trip​

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While some attend to the Papal ordeal, another group has split off to attempt to win over the people of Bardotta. After days of backpacking across the surface visiting towns, they have been invited to a monastery to participate in a sacred Bardottan ritual. You must drink the elixir of enlightenment and participate in a guided group meditation. Many are said to have visions given by the gods and emerge with a better understanding of the universe and themselves. Beware: the brew has some nasty side effects. ​

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Objective III- BYOE: Bring Your Own Episode​

Auteme has many friends who have their own wacky tales. Tell us yours!​

Spoiler: OOC Note

This dom is intended to be an episode of TRAA. Please write your characters in an exaggerated and ridiculous manner- and have fun with it!

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[Kat Decoria]

Location: Outside the Temple
Tag: Open to Interaction
Objective: 2​

The grease monkey that was Kat Decoria tried to adjust her stained white shirt, it was covered in spots of grease, oil and a little dirty. Her hair was a mess though an attempt to tie it in a ponytail had been made, her cargo pants were baggy and loose with her belt of mechanic tools and a gun attached to it. She was holding her saber pike in one hand as she looked around the place, apparently she was meant to be going on some spiritual journey to gain a higher understanding of the universe? Honestly, Kat was just hoping the whole event would find her a love partner, someone to commit with because sleeping around was not doing her back any good. It seemed no one in the galaxy knew how to get a decent bed, or not have a sofa bed because they were a student. Being part of the Galactic Alliance, she figured it was time that she helped out and getting high on the spiritual journey seemed like a good as place as anywhere to start with.

Looking down at her shirt, Kat tilted her head, "damn, dunno if that is engine grease, pizza grease or something else. Should really replace this t-shirt." She sighed, it was a little tight of a fit since she had the same t-shirt for years now but it still fitted and she wasn't going to throw something away if it still fitted her. Stretching her arms, Kat stifled a yawn as she entered the temple, a late night partying meant she had little to no sleep. Walking into the room she looked around to see if anyone else had arrived, so far it just seemed to be her and she smiled over at the natives who were setting up for the meditation. "So, like what are the side effects of this? Are there side effects? Is it going to get me addicted to spice, cause I rather not, tend to like a clear head most of the day and just some booze and ladies at night. Amiright?" Kat winked then...

Then she fingergunned the natives.

 

[Seto du Couteau]

Seto Du Coutaeu, Master of Fashion
Location: Bardotta
Objective One: Sacred Power
Action: Espionage, Disguising as Servants and Nobles, undercovering family secrets
|| Butler Attire || Maid Attire || Noble Attire ||

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Clothes, fabulous clothes, form-fitting clothes, such clothing brought forth the epitome of high fashion. Even among maids, butlers and servants, their clothing reflected the fashion taste of their employers. For Seto to find himself under disguise, it gave him a real chance to enjoy the many clothes he wouldn’t wear otherwise in his day to day business.​

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Pressing his hands down his blouse to smooth away the imaginary creases, he knew how to be presentable and with certain Nobles, it was a delicate balance to walk and make sure no discerning eyes landed upon him. Though the Force aided heavily in keeping his disguise up, slightly coaxing the more easily distracted minds. Seto had been moving through several mansions and castles in some cases, to find how corrupted some of these Nobles had become, how deep the roots the Archbishop had planted.​

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Thus this was how Seto found himself from being courted among the lower Nobles from party to part, before vanishing and reappearing differently as a servant for another greater Noble. It was rather fun for Seto, swapping between the multiple clothes and digging through countless data-slates left on top of office desks. The Office Doors often left suspiciously unlocked, but many if not all the Nobles figured it was their own forgetfulness. Seto of course knew he couldn’t keep this up indefinitely, and wondered how soon the rest of the Alliance would remove the scourge of the Sith off the planet.​

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Seto was enjoying himself, changing between countless of outfits and dresses, though he found himself distracted with the more mundane of tasks of Nobility. Pouring Tea, serving biscuits, and every being the diligent butler to many of the royalty. This came to a head when Seto was reminded of his mission by witnessing the Archbishop’s manipulation. It was a cold slap to the face. A sobering realization that came when he was pouring tea to a hapless Noble unaware of the corruption growing within the Monarch.​

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Once again Seto found himself alone in another Noble’s office, he dug through and gathered more information that the Alliance could use to better prosecute several of the Conspirators of the Archbishop. This of course would make certain acquisitions easier for me as well. The young Du Couteau heir continued to download the valuable information into his data-slate when a noise caught his attention. The office to whom it belonged to was supposedly out for a long lunch somewhere in the courtyards. He was out there to meet with another mistress and such. . . Seto's mind whirled into action to figure out a plan.​

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Looking across the room, Seto realized the doorknob was turning, Uh oh. With a quick fluid movement, he grabbed his data-slate and looked for another exit. He needed to get out and fast, though right before he managed to open another door, a Noble’s voice boomed inside the office.​

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“Hold on there!”​

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Seto never turned around and instead bolted through the hallway.​

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|| Spirit of Faith ||

 

[Auteme]

S A C R E D _ P O W E R
Aerarii Tithe Ryv | Open​

Auteme stood on the bridge of the ASV (Auteme Service Vessel) BDE, her personal Chad-class Super Star Destroyer. Even with such an enormous and chad ship, she still had a frown on her face. She was looking at Bardotta's surface and obviously didn't like what she was seeing.

"RYV! Get me some Ewok nuggets," she ordered, turning to the camera to show her "Vegan for the Galaxy" shirt. "I'm gonna go kill a Sith."

Auteme marched out of the bridge. On her way down to the hangar, she hid in a corner for a moment and pulled out a small holodevice. A projection of Aerarii Tithe, stunning and beautiful as ever, popped up. She smiled and caressed the floating visage. "Soon, my beloved."

She stowed the device. Cut to the hangar -- all of a sudden alarms were blaring (for no reason) and people were rushing all around. Auteme ran to the end of the hangar and leapt out, activating her CHOSEN OF THE LIGHT SIDE power-up (the kanji appeared on screen) and became a blazing ball of light, shooting towards Bardotta's surface.

The sun itself seemed inconsequential next to her brightness. She landed in front of the Grand Temple. The guards outside charged bravely, but they couldn't see -- with a wave of her hand she cut them in half. More and more minions and cultists ran to meet the Galactic Hero, but she dealt with the swarms of them with beams of light so powerful they incinerated the guards or her insane speed and skill in hand-to-hand combat.

She broke down the doors to the Archbishop's great hall, the bodies of those she had defeated (or what was left of them) strewn behind her. "Archbishop? More like Arch-butthole," she said, putting on a pair of sunglasses. She pointed at the Archbishop. "Enough talk. Let's fight! SHABABOOEEE!"

She punched the air, sending a shockwave at the Archbishop.

 

[Spirit of Hope]

A R C H B I S H O P
Come All Ye Faithful
The Grand Cathedral
Tags: Auteme | Open to All - Come Get Some

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Within the Grand Cathedral of Bardotta, the Archbishop Korrbus Hazzriel stood atop a golden dais. Intricate carvings along its sides depicted them guiding a flock of followers away from a many-headed serpent. At another point, Hazzriel appeared locked in battle with the same beast. It gnawed at the small being's form, teeth buried in their pearlescent flesh, thrashing about wildly. Crimson stained the Archbishop's opulent garb. In one hand, Hazzriel raised a gleaming bow. In the other, they lifted a scepter topped with a translucent gem. The very same scepter was grasped in the same hand, held aloft atop the stage. It housed a vibrant, golden flame. Those closest to the Archbishop felt its power. Pain washed away, feelings of despair replaced with joy and excitement.

Many gathered before Hazzriel. They dropped to their knees in supplications. Tears streamed down their cheeks, cries for the Archbishop's blessing echoed throughout the chamber. Hazzriel raised their scepter and motioned over the crowd. The blind fell flat, prostrating themselves before the Archbishop as their vision returned. The deaf took up a song in reverence, their hearing restored.

Auteme's boisterous arrival brought an end to the celebration. Many turned to face the Galactic Hero wide-eyed. Others looked to the Archbishop for guidance. When the blast of ethereal energy rocketed towards them, Hazzriel flicked out with the scepter. A golden wall materialized between them and the supplicants, shattering like glass when Auteme's destructive attack made contact with it.

"Oh, dear Auteme, I never would've expected the Chosen One to stand behind the corruption of the Jedi," Hazzriel began, slowly rising above the dais. Snow-white robes fell around them, clutching tight to their thin frame. "Though it shouldn't be a surprise. Even the greatest of heroes can fall in the face of true evil. Do not worry, my dear. In my light, you will be cleansed. I shall guide you from the clutches of the Jedi. You will find salvation within my arms, that I promise you. But for now, I must ensure you cannot hurt my flock. Do forgive me, child."

Hazzriel motioned to the courageous interloper with their free hand. "Stop this heathen. Do not allow her to sully our home with her deceit further, my children. We must cleanse the galaxy of the Jedi Cult. We shall begin with their prophesized Chosen One."

The crowd turned from Hazzriel, slowly standing. They pushed towards Auteme in droves. When the furthest from the stage left the presence of the Archbishop's gleaming shadow, reality momentarily flickered. The healthy appeared sickly. Full forms replaced by gaunt, starved bodies. Splotches of sickness stained healthy skin. Some limped on misshapen legs, others clawed out with broken fingers. And just as quickly as the glimpse beyond came, it went. A crowd of zealots threw themselves at Auteme in an attempt to overwhelm her and drag her to the floor.

 

[Theo Vereen]

Location: Bardotta Capital City
Objective: Locate two items, tapestry and bolt of bardottan silk for Cousin Claire

Trade Commission Office - Information Desk

"No sir, its all I need, can you direct me to where I can find it?"

The beak like snout of the blue bardottan standing before him was close enough to tap Theo on the nose. There was a hint of an accent as he spoke to him, "Yeoung Man there are several teext tile avenues for you to explore." The Bardottan's three fingers tapped on the counter top, "It is all about quality"

"Ok...then...tell me where I can get the best..."

A chuckle erupted from the Bardottan.

Theo felt himself sigh, this was going to take a while.

 

[Takui]

Picture a world where Takui Mihzu isn't afraid of his own shadow. Close your eyes, imagine it. Now, let your imagination run rampant. You're on Bardotta. No more running away. There is nothing to fear: there is only OOZING MASCULINITY.

YOU WANT THE TAKU? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TAKU.

But lucky you, he's here anyway, and it's time to...

Shababooee.

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"You've fondled your last-" Taku huffed breathlessly, unable to complete the sentence before the sound of shattering glass stifled his speech. The Padawan blinked rapidly as he took a step back and surveyed the situation incredulously. "Uh, hey, Auteme... are you... are you good?"

He leaned forward and crouched low, putting a hand near his mouth so he could whisper. "Hey, so uh, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life fam, but if you're going to be using live glass as a prop you should make sure you have a safe fall zone. This is going to kill us in Bacta patches if someone steps in i- oh stang, we're rolling."

Takui stood upright and cleared his throat. "WORRY NOT, AUTEME," he belted out loudly. "EVERYTHING IS FINE. WHY?" the youth flashed a brilliant smile. "BECAUSE I AM HERE. AND THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM."

WAIT. CRAP. THAT WASN'T THE LINE. DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. OKAY, PLAY IT COOL. IMPROVISE.

SNAP-HISS!!!

A gilded blade stole the show. Taku glared at the Archbishop over the others, still apparently struggling for dominance. Auteme was the hero- but Vegeta Takui got to be important this time too!

 

[Ryv]

H O P E ~ Y O U ~ C A N ~ F E E L ~ T H A T ~ V I B E
Going on a Trip
Monastery of Enlightenment
Vibin'
Ripley Kühn

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Another day, another blunt.

Ryv flicked his lighter open and lit the blunt planted firmly between his lips. With a deep breath, he drew a thick cloud of vapor into his lungs. A well-practiced stoner, the kiffar wasn't phased by the burning smoke sucked down his throat. He held the hit for a powerful minute before exhaling the smoke out into the open-air before him. Whatever strand he snagged on the way to Bardotta proved an amazing pickup. His body felt lighter; his perspective was drawn back and practically lifted above the jacket-clad Jedi. He hit the doobie once more before holding it out to Ripley beside him. The Zeltron looked marvelous, as per usual. The skintight bodysuit hugged her curves in all the right ways.

"Lookin' good tonight, babe," Ryv said to her. "You do something different with your hair? Totally diggin' the new look. Got me feelin' all kinds of ways, if you know what I'm sayin'."

Monks garbed in flowing robes of blue stole the kiffar's attention as they approached the monastery. Though they said nothing, the momentary bow and knowing smile was enough to tip the Jedi Knight off to something wholly mystical. He looked beyond the entryway. Hundreds of incense sticks burned within. A plethora of scents drifted outward, from citrus to cinnamon; he found himself overwhelmed by the wide range of smells. Colored smoke clouded the interior, making it feel like a trip through the skies amidst the setting sun.

"This place is freakin' groovy," he announced.

They approached a monk resting within the center of the monastery floor. Mats surrounded him in a broad circle. A small bowl filled to the brim with an iridescent liquid rested at the foot of each mat. Ryv considered wandering over to down the drink in a mighty draught, but he opted to wait. Instead, he took a seat at a mat located in the back, close to a trove of plush, rainbow-colored pillows.

"So, whatcha think about this crazy elixir they mentioned? Think it'll give us superpowers or something hype like that?"

 

[Ripley Kühn]

~ F E E D Y O U R H E A D ~
Going on a Trip
Monastery of Enlightenment
Down the Rabbit Hole
Ryv ​

A grin flashed across the zeltron's face as she reached for the blizzy. Nestling the stick between two fingers, her hand rose to her mouth. What started as a small exhale grew larger, smoke filling her lungs. She held it as long as she could before it came back out with a cough, followed by a giggle. All her worries faded in that moment, replaced by a sense of bliss. Her eyes flickered the Kiffar, throwing him a wink at the compliment.

"Backatcha, babycakes."

As they entered the temple, her eyes widened in delight. From the whiffs of the musky incense to the golden sheens of the tapestries that adorned the walls, the entire place seemed otherwordly.

Plopping next to Ryv, Ripley eyed the crystalline basin from afar, as curious as her counterpart.

"I dunno, man. I've heard rumors about this stuff. They say you see things as you never have before. You're never the same after, be it for better or worse."

A gong echoed across the chamber, interrupting the conversation. The monk in the center of the room raised his head, smiling at them. When he spoke, his words were shrouded in a thick accent.

"Greetings, newfound friends. I welcome you to the Monastery with an open heart. I'm sure we will have a few stragglers, but I am eager to start. Today, you have the chance to take a spiritual journey. Most find this experience a pleasurable one, but the other monks will not be partaking in order to care for those who need it. I will guide you today- let my words and sounds bridge over your passing to another realm, and bring you back at the end. Whenever you are ready, please step forward, and take a sip of the elixir of enlightenment."

Ripley looked to the kiffar once more, nodding towards the center of the room, implying she wanted him to go first.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Objective 1
Items: Robe, Lightsaber
Tags: Auteme | Takui | Spirit of Hope

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To better imagine the scene, picture Okkeus having Rick's mentality in this scene.

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The A-Wing's landing gear softly touched down on the landing bay. Once the soft press settled from the ship's weight, he bang to shut the Starfighter down. After flicking a few switches the ship fully powered down. Taking off his helmet he set it to the side. As the hatch popped open he was created with a nice gust of wind. His hair lightly blew along with it, even more messed up now than from the helmet.

Swinging his legs out of the ship he hopped down onto the ground, landing with a small bounce. He listened as the hatch began to close behind him. Locking the ship up he began to walk towards the large temple ahead.

Wait.

Quickly turning around he stared at the A-Wing sitting there. It was a normal alliance starfighter with nothing out of the ordinary about it. Except the fact that it was supposed to be a blue and black T-70 X-Wing. His X-Wing. The presence of this area was off. Something felt different about it. Ejecting his lightsaber stored in his robotic left hand he grabbed it, holding it lovely. Slowly he creeped toward the ship, expecting someone to jump out. Rubbing his Durasteel finger over the ignition switch he turned the lightsaber on. A bright green light flew out of it.

His head shot downward towards the blade.

"What in the hell?!"

Turning the saber off and back on Aaron only resulted in the blade changing to red, then blue, then purple. It seemed to cycle through every color before returning back to green. First, he had never flown an A-Wing in his life, and he never intended to. They were awful ships. And now his lightsaber seemingly changing colors? No logical explanation was available.

Deciding it was best to leave the ship behind, he continued again toward the temple. Still with no luck he tried to fix his saber. It just kept switching colors like a damn rainbow. Confused, he just left it turned off.

"I've got to figure out what is wrong with my kriffing saber..."

Almost instantly after 'kriff...' exited his mouth, he heard a small beep behind him. Spinning around he flipped his lightsaber on, a purple blade shooting out of it. Not worrying about the blade, he went over to a nearby bush that was rustling. Using his free hand he pushed the bushes aside, revealing a frighten camera crew.

One by one they lept out of bush, their cameras still trained on me.

"Whoa, hey, what is this?"

A man who he guessed was in charge shushed him, then motioned for the Jedi to walk over. Looking back he watched as the camera followed...was that Ryv? And was he smoking? Who was that Zeltron? The camera group slowly advanced toward them as the man stayed behind.

"You are lucky that you didn't interrupt our filming young man. That was the money shot right there."

Money shot? Money shot for what?

"What are you guys filming exactly?"

The man looked at the Jedi as if he was a clueless Gungan. He placed an unsettling hand on his shoulder.

"Why, we are filming a new episode of the Totally Real Adventures of Auteme, of course. And you sir are about to experience a fourth wall break."

The Jedi stood there confused. Adventures of Auteme? Since when did she have a show? And what in the world was a fourth wall break? Still he didn't know about the lightsaber or the A-Wing. He was just straight confused.

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[Elias Vati]

BYOE - Infiltrate and Rob a Cathedral
Location - All Knowing Cathedral
Mentions - Open​

It was Elias' job to know everything that was happening in the galaxy. Well most stuff anyway. As a Sector Ranger he was given the responsibility of counteracting illegal activity wherever the Alliance needed him. At the time the theology of Bardotta was a viable contact. They had a very detailed information infrastructure regarding local pirate gangs in the system that they used to maintain their influence over the masses of the planet. Asking them to attack their cities, the Order save them, more believers, repeat. Once Bardotta was claimed, catching these gangs would be impossible without the information of the Order. This on top of other confidential information to assist the Alliance in cementing their control over the system.

The Galactic Alliance was here to shut everything down which meant the Sector Rangers had to act fast before the Alliance spooked the Order into deleting their records. Elias posed as a theologian, to study the history of the Bardotta religious order and their doctrine for academic purposes. Because of this he spent a few weeks on the planet getting to know a few of the theological hierarchy including the archbishop and Bishop Ordo Arbitrage, head of the All Knowing Cathedral. Elias spent a lot of time learning the basics of theology to get by, in fact as he had an aunt who was a member of the Order of Dai Bendu on Coruscant who was also a theology professor and with his time with her, he learned a thing or two. His cover was all but too perfect.

A shuttle was taking him to the Cathedral's landing pad where the Bishop was waiting for him. As the Bishop was prepared to greet him, Elias got off the shuttle lumbering towards him with bags under his eyes. "You look awful." Said the Bishop nonchalantly. "I was at a party with the royal court and they wanted to meet someone who tried Kalidan Fried Ewok." Elias said lazily. "What the feth is Kalidan Fried Ewok?"

"It's an Unknown Space thing, Good morning Bishop." Elias said as he lumbered into the Cathedral. The Bishop shaking his head followed the Space Cop into the lift where they would be taken to the Grand Library of the Cathedral.

The two stood side by side as the elevator made its way down. Their eyes wandering around avoiding to make any sort of eye contact with each other. Elias played twiddled his fingers in his pockets while the bishop sucked his teeth. What a time to be then in an awkward elevator ride. Suddenly the Bishop Arbitrage's commlink was ringing. He checked who it was and looked to Elias, "I need to take this." He said to which Elias gestured he would let him take his call. "Hey honey... sigh yes I know I haven't been home in a while but the Archbishop needs me- ..... Yes I know I promised I'd go to Winston's Gravball tournament but how am I suppossed to pay the mortgage? - Ok.... Ok.... Yes dear... Don't worry I still remembered our anniversary I made reservations just the two of us ok? Ok, I love you too." The Bishop sighed as he hung up. "You married Elias?"

"Nope."

"It's a beautiful thing but it can be rough. But its the good things that make it worthwhile."

Elias nodded in approval and then Arbitrage's commlink rang again. But Arbitrage looked a little distraught. Elias took note of this, "Is everything ok-"

"H-Hey hey baby... What's up.... No she doesn't know yet... Yes it is our anniversary but..... Why tonight can't we try it at a better time."

Elias's face switched to amusement as the Bishop talked to his mistress. "sigh... Look I promise I'll make it up to you later o- .... ooh you're a bad girl." Elias then became disgusted and the Bishop coughed when he realized who was in the elevator with him. He cleared his throat before speaking, "So tomorrow at 8? ... Alright I- .... I love you too Lumi-pie." Finally the elevator arrived at the library and the Bishop dashed to his quarters. Elias sighed and shook his head and proceeded to his objective.

 

[Theo Vereen]

Location Bardotta Capital City, in the streets

Ever have one of those days where everything no matter how hard you tried made you feel like you were moving through black molasses. Today was that day for Theo. He stood there trying to be considerate, and really listen but every time this Bardottan spoke to him he felt this urge to shake him.

His head was hurting too, "Yes sir." Then it hit him, "Which one do you recommend, where would you go if you were getting a present for your mother?"

The Bardottan stopped and thought for a few moments, his fingers stopped drumming. As if no one had ever quite put it that way to him. "For my mother, if I understand you mean she who bore you...yes?"

"yes" Languages didn't often translate well and he had to remember to be specific.

"ahh..." The Bardottan leaned forward, "Go to the textile that carries the sign of infinity. This means long lasting goes forever. Best silk on Bardotta." A short nod and a small gesture that meant go.

"Thank you. I appreciate your help" Theo left out and began the next part of the task. Find the sign of Infinity. Hopefully it was the same throughout the galaxy.

"Gosh it's cold. How could a cold place make such great silk?" A question for no one particular just something Theo felt he needed to say.

 

[Ryv]

H O P E ~ Y O U ~ C A N ~ F E E L ~ T H A T ~ V I B E
Going on a Trip
Monastery of Enlightenment
Vibin'
Ripley Kühn

"See things you've never seen before? That's tight," Ryv said. He looked from Ripley to the bowl of mystery madness with an upturned brow. Before he could take up the elixir and partake of its illustrious contents, one of the monks spoke up. Ryv didn't pay him much mind. I mean, who cares about authority, am I right? Instead, he took a seat on his map and snagged the bowl. He looked it over once more, lifted it to his lips, and downed the drink in one fell swoop. It went down easier than he expected. A faint tingling set in, his throat numbing shortly thereafter, but he couldn't feel much of a difference other than that.

He set it down and looked up at Ripley. "Wasn't too crazy, taste-wise anyway. Shouldn't be much of an is-"

The sudden appearance of Okkeus in apparition form, alongside a camera crew, stopped the kiffar midsentence. Ryv blinked, only for the other Jedi Knight to disappear. He looked to the twi'lek holding the camera.

"Can I help you, man?" Ryv inquired.

"Well, not really, no. That is unless you think you can pay off the massive amount of debt I have under Agrippa the Hutt. Once I'm free, I can go back home to my family and stop animating this horrible show," the yellow-skinned alien admitted.

"Uh..." Ryv blinked. "I dunno what you're talking about. Go somewhere else."

"Right," the alien nodded. He turned off and motioned for his crew to follow. The moment they stepped away from the pair, they slowly faded from sight. Others in the room didn't notice their disappearance, let alone their sudden and strange arrival.

Ryv turned back to where Okkeus stood seconds before. He was gone too.

"Freakin' weirdo," Ryv offered a hand to Ripley. "C'mere, sit with me. I think I'm starting to feel the effects of this enlightening elixir stuff. My face feels sorta tingly, and I'm pretty sure I can taste color."

 

[Emersyn Orsa]

CORUSCANT | AFTER WORK | BIG CHILLIN' |
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Titles flickered across the screen as Emersyn scrolled casually through the selections. Every few moments, she would pause on one to read the synopsis before moving on again. Kree's chest heaved beneath her as he became frustrated with her nightly indecision.

"Would you just pick something?" He snapped.

A sigh escaped her, signaling her own irritation, but she selected the next option that came up. A girl flashed across the screen. The words "Totally Real Adventures of Auteme" appeared beneath her. Emersyn raised an eyebrow as the intro began. A holoseries about the New Jedi Order? This was news to her.

Auteme stood on the bridge of the ASV (Auteme Service Vessel) BDE, her personal Chad-class Super Star Destroyer. Even with such an enormous and chad ship, she still had a frown on her face. She was looking at Bardotta's surface and obviously didn't like what she was seeing.

"RYV! Get me some Ewok nuggets," she ordered, turning to the camera to show her "Vegan for the Galaxy" shirt. "I'm gonna go kill a Sith."

Auteme marched out of the bridge. On her way down to the hangar, she hid in a corner for a moment and pulled out a small holodevice. A projection of Aerarii Tithe, stunning and beautiful as ever, popped up. She smiled and caressed the floating visage. "Soon, my beloved."

She stowed the device. Cut to the hangar -- all of a sudden alarms were blaring (for no reason) and people were rushing all around. Auteme ran to the end of the hangar and leapt out, activating her CHOSEN OF THE LIGHT SIDE power-up (the kanji appeared on screen) and became a blazing ball of light, shooting towards Bardotta's surface.

The sun itself seemed inconsequential next to her brightness. She landed in front of the Grand Temple. The guards outside charged bravely, but they couldn't see -- with a wave of her hand she cut them in half. More and more minions and cultists ran to meet the Galactic Hero, but she dealt with the swarms of them with beams of light so powerful they incinerated the guards or her insane speed and skill in hand-to-hand combat.

She broke down the doors to the Archbishop's great hall, the bodies of those she had defeated (or what was left of them) strewn behind her. "Archbishop? More like Arch-butthole," she said, putting on a pair of sunglasses. She pointed at the Archbishop. "Enough talk. Let's fight! SHABABOOEEE!"

She punched the air, sending a shockwave at the Archbishop.

A couple of giggles gave way to Emersyn dissolving into laughter. She raised her head from Kree's chest to find him arching an eyebrow.

"It's just so... ridiculous... SHABABOOEE!" She stated in between chuckles, her last word almost a squeak.

He smirked, eyes returning to the screen once more.

"As ridiculous as she is portrayed, the character is somehow more realistic than the real Auteme."

The quip only led to more laughter, leaving her gasping for air. Finally, she curled up next to him once more and continued watching.

 

[Ripley Kühn]

~ F E E D Y O U R H E A D ~
Going on a Trip
Monastery of Enlightenment
Down the Rabbit Hole
Ryv
​

A high pitched giggle escaped the pink woman as she watched the kiffar down the drink. The effects were apparent, his demeanor shifting greatly. A monk scurried over to hand her another bowl and she followed suit. The liquid somehow tasted of nostalgia when it touched her tongue. The sensation of pins and needles in her mouth sent a shiver down her spine.

Her gaze returned to Ryv once more and she took his hand. The touch was electrifying, the hair on her arms standing up. She giggled once more at his quip.

"This is weird man, I can feel my teeth."

She reached for a few of the pillows on the pile, arranging them behind her before lounging back. Her eyes followed the smoke from the incense, shapes forming in the haze. Her arm extended to point at them, following one in particular.

"Look, a bunny. Oh, and a bantha. That one kind of looks like a speeder."

She didn't know how much time had passed before she sat up again. It felt as though she could have laid there for eons, yet nothing had changed. Glancing at her fellow, her eyes widened. A rainbow of colors surrounded him. Red and green were dominant, blues and purple specs mixed throughout. Her palm extended to meet his face, probing his features.

"Have your ears always been that big?" She asked nonchalantly.

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

Objective III: Bring Your Own Episode
Location: The Archbishop's inner sanctum (?)

With his eyes glued to his datapad, Nimdok walked into frame on the set where Auteme was having her showdown with this week's villain. Stopping right in front of the camera as the Chosen One was swarmed by zombie zealots, he scratched his head. "This can't be right," he said, speaking in a spontaneous British accent. "All of my research led me here! But where is the artefact?"

Trailing after him was his daughter Miri, of ambiguous pre-pubescent age, dressed in the frilliest, pinkest, most ribbons-and-bows-y outfit imaginable. "Daddy, there's a monster!" she lisped through missing front teeth, pointing toward a shadow behind a pillar.

Utterly absorbed in his reading, Nimdok continued to pace with increasing agitation. "I couldn't possibly have been wrong... I'm the most intelligent and knowledgeable man in the universe... aren't I? Aren't I?"

The monster, which was completely independent of the zombie zealots or the nefarious Archbishop, began to creep toward them. Using a species sub created by Maxirizuul as loose inspiration (very very loose; it might as well not even be his creation anymore, it's been so distorted in translation from one writer to the next), the beast was composed of the parts of various animals and insects combined in a grotesque manner. Miri screamed as it chased her around the room.

Nimdok still failed to acknowledge his daughter in obvious danger. "But what if I am wrong? What if the artefact isn't here? Then I've brought my daughter into the middle of a warzone for no reason!"

The monster had caught Miri by the ankles and was dragging her. Her palms squeaked across the marble floor as she fumbled for purchase, shrieking, "Daaaaaadddyyyyyyy!" as loudly as her little lungs could manage. He still didn't notice.

"Wait!" he cried. A loose... floorboard? Didn't you already say the floor was marble?—had caught his eye. "There! I can sense it!" He pried the floorboard up with his fingers, revealing a glowing geometric shape. "The holocron of Ukunu-lak-plak Kal-droma-osum-bendik the Jolly!"

He raised the holocron victoriously. Behind him, the monster thrashed Miri, smashing her repeatedly against the floor in a manner which should have killed her, or at least caused the child serious injury. Instead, every impact was accompanied by the sound of a rubbery squeaky toy, and she showed no signs of harm. In fact, at this point the little girl merely looked thoroughly offended at being ignored.

"Daddy!" she yelled. "I hate you!"

Looking over his shoulder, Nimdok's eyes widened. He immediately dropped the "artefact", which shattered into a trillion pieces on the floor, morphed into a drexl many times his size, and killed the monster in a highly improbable and silly fight scene. When it was over, he de-morphed and slumped on the ground, apparently having sustained some sort of non-lethal but unconsciousness-inducing wound during the battle.

Miri tottered over to where he lay and threw her arms around his neck. "Daddy! I don't hate you! I love you!"

With Shi'ido blood oozing between his fingers (although it looked more gray than black; the prop guys hadn't quite gotten the recipe right yet) and tears streaming down his cheeks, Nimdok looked at her and smiled weakly. "I can't imagine why. I'm a terrible father, a chit archaeologist, and an obnoxious person all around. If any of this were real, I'd have long since gotten you killed. Hell, I'd probably be dead myself. I'm a menace to galactic society, more threatening and destructive than any faction... okay, maybe that's hyperbole. But you get the point." He sighed. "I'm done. Finished. Kaputt."

"But Daddy, if you die, who's going to take care of me?"

"Your mother will?" Nimdok replied, as though it were obvious. "I mean, she got brought back as a beautiful superhuman biot with regenerative abilities that basically make her unkillable. She's far more qualified to take care of you than I am. Or at least, she will be once Messala is finally killed off and she can drop that whole idiotic 'it's too dangerous for me to stay with you' subplot."

"That's not very likely, Daddy. Messala is an official PC now, he's probably going to be around for a while," Miri pointed out. "Also, I think Mommy cheated on you with a Jedi Padawan on Coruscant. They were kissing a lot in a nightclub."

Nimdok blinked, startled. "How did you know about that?"

"I have spies watching the people I care about," she replied with a shrug. "It's all the rage with the kids these days. Anyway, it's made me suspicious of Mommy and generated feelings of hurt and betrayal, as well as spawning a fear that my family won't ever be whole again." She sniffed and pouted.

"Awww, sweetheart. Here—let me spoil a future plot point for you. It'll make you feel better." Nimdok leaned forward in order to whisper in her ear. It was quite a lengthy spoiler, seeing as he was whispering for a solid ten seconds before he pulled away.

"Really?" Miri's face lit up. "What a twist!"

Spirit of Hope | Ryv | Ripley Kühn | Emersyn Orsa | Kat Decoria | Seto du Couteau | Theo Vereen | Takui | Okkeus Dainlei | Elias Vati

 

[Thalia Senn]

- Jakku Enclave -

"Today was so long," she said to no one in particular. Quill was off somewhere wandering the desert and she still hadn't seen or met Romi Jade, the master of the Enclave. She plopped down in one of the couches in the communal lounge and flipped on the holo and groaned as the title card flashed. The show had just finished its commercial break.

​

She hated this show.

But there wasn't much else on the holonet on a backwater like Jakku. She brought her knees into her chest and laid her cheeks on her knees. Welp. It was better than nothing.

 

[Ryv]

H O P E ~ Y O U ~ C A N ~ F E E L ~ T H A T ~ V I B E
Going on a Trip
Monastery of Enlightenment
Vibin'
Ripley Kühn

​

Ripley's giggling assailed the Jedi Knight in a melodic symphony of spontaneous noise. Each note played sounded like a finely tuned piano key. It reverberated around him, rolling through the smokey clouds in a distortive wave of color. The red-hued mist shifted to purple before his very eyes. It blended with another swirling whirlwind. The purple and green clouds danced together in a vibrant show to the tune of Ripley's laughter. He stepped through the mist, eyes closed, arms spread as he twirled about in a circle.

"I like this," Ryv admitted. "A whole lot."

At her touch, he opened his eyes and looked back into the cerulean skies stretched out before him. The room suddenly disappeared, replaced only by an infinite vision of beauty and grace. The azure sky shifted into a crystalline liquid. Even as his fingers laced together between hers and he fell beside her on a stretch of pillows, the Jedi Knight felt as if he were swimming within her gaze. The plush, multicolored surface fell over them both, casting a kaleidoscope of color over the bouncing sea. He pressed his face into the nape of her neck and breathed in the zeltron's scent. Fruits and flowers fell around him, only stopping when they descended to the ever-moving surface.

A pink hand appeared within the sky above the Jedi Knight. He floated through the rambunctious waves, the pleasure brought on by the ceaseless movement enough to keep a smile plastered on his face. Even as the hand descended to wrap around him, the euphoria of the moment did not wash away. Ripley's found him and pulled him back from his misplaced dream.

"My ears?" he asked, his hands finding the way to hers. "I dunno, are they? Yours are kinda cute. And soft. Oh, wait, no, this is just your earlobe," he nudged it with his thumb and chuckled. "Oops."

 

[Ishana Chandra]

POSITIONS

Objective: Going on a Trip
Allies: Open!

​

The door to the meditation room suddenly slammed open causing some puffs of dust to fall from the ceiling and a lithe limbed young woman pranced into the room. Her starry-eyed gaze scanned the faces of the monks and participants for a moment. She blinked. "Oh! Hiya! Sorry, am I late?" she said, a little louder than she meant to, tiptoeing around Ryv and Ripley Kühn to one of the free mats. Her bright eyes lingered on the pair as they muttered nonsense about teeth and ears...​

Ishana took another small step, putting an empty mat between them. "I'm uh- Ishana... Ishana Chandra," the monk who seemed to be leading the meditation stared at her for a moment and then pushed a vessel filled with the elixir and nodded expectantly. She collapsed into a cross-legged position and gave one more wary look to the two next to her. She knew them both, but they were being weird so she didn't acknowledge them. The mission she'd been given by her mother, to investigate the full effects of the mystical jungle juice that the monks were dishing out, was not one she'd particularly relished, but it did intrigue her.​

"Mmm, what is this? Do I detect a hint of honeyfruit?" she leaned forward, taking a sip from the bowl. The monk did not respond and she sank back onto her toosh. "Alright. Keep your secrets, monk man..... Hey am I supposed to be feeling something because I don't think this is working," she took another generous gulp and shrugged at the others in the room, most of whom were... less than coherent. Well, this is an absolute bust, she thought forlornly. But then-​

Ishana's pupils dilated and the colors in the room swelled with intensity. She could feel her heart beating in her chest like it was trying to escape her rib cage and every sound seemed to last for an eternity. I... can feel my teeth, she thought, looking at Ryv in horror. She could hear them too. Taunting her. Mocking her. "Shut up, teeth," she said to herself, thankful that they all seemed to agree to oblige. She turned her head again toward Ripley and Ryv. Except, now they seemed to be... "Oh gross," she lamented as they morphed into big slimy slugs that writhed on the ground.​

"This isn't good." She looked at the monk, hoping for some guidance, but he was a slug too. "I-I'd like off this ride please."​

 

[Auteme]

Spirit of Hope Takui Okkeus Dainlei Seto du Couteau Jacen Nimdok Emersyn Orsa ​

Auteme, seemingly immune to whatever nervous affliction had affected her teammates, focused on Hazzriel. "I won't fall to your evil, Archbishop! THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!"

She did not acknowledge the fact that she'd just said the same thing as Taku.

Left and right she slammed the enemy, sending waves of bad guy minions sprawling, but they kept getting back up and coming after her. Eventually she was overwhelmed. The followers piled on and on and on. Was this the end? Was Auteme about to die?

Of course not! In a blinding blast, the minions were sent flying. Auteme was left in the center of the blast, hands raised as she controlled some impenetrable barrier. "I see through your lies, Hazzriel! You've coerced all your followers! I'll heal them and let them see the truth!"

The barrier expanded, a shimmering green bubble moving out to eat up all those minions.

"Guys! Clear the path to the Archbishop!" She waved her hand at the mass of enemies gathering between them.