Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Taking a step back to take two steps forward.

Light? No. Shadow? No. Responsibility.
VVVDHjr.png
No Regrets
Yavin VIII
Students of the Light Temple Ruins





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Buster, don’t stray too far. Pointless commands falling on deaf ears. It made him laugh, but Connel had to say it. Buster was a good dog, so there was no question he would not go far, it was just fun to watch him run around and play in the snow.

That was not why he was here though, Connel was here at the start of it all for his father. Caltin started on the very steps he was standing on. He sat there for two days, almost ready to leave before finally being accepted in. It was a different time back then, from the stories Father had told him. There was something bringing him here. It was not just the Force, at least not that he knew, but something pulling him here.

So this is where it all started, huh, Father?

Connel was not wearing his gear, but in a cold weather robe over his silver and brown tunic. One thing he was carrying was a passenger that had resided here as well. Connel was on a personal mission of “willing out” personal items from Caltin, knowing the Boulder would have wanted it that way. He would have wanted things being used and not just looked at, it’s just who he was. That passenger? "CONSERVATOR" the Long Handle Lightsaber carried by his father for so long. This is one thing he could not pass on. The one thing he needed to keep himself, and like his father, Connel sheathed it over his back.

The Temple had shown its age several times over. The weight of time was heavy on these walls as overgrowth and degradation had ruled the dayThe Temple's once-grand halls now lay in ruin, its walls cracked and crumbling under the weight of neglect. Despite the decay, Connel felt a deep connection to this place, as if the echoes of the past still lingered in the air. The decay was a stark reminder of the passage of time, yet Connel couldn't help but feel a sense of reverence for the history that surrounded him. Each crack and crumbling stone seemed to whisper stories of the battles and triumphs that had once defined this sacred space.

Okay, why did you bring me here?

He spoke to no one in particular, not knowing who else was approaching.

 
ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ "ᴍɪꜱꜱ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ" ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ

Ala-project-2.png


The wind whistled softly through the ancient spires of the temple, carrying with it a delicate shimmer of snow that clung to the broken stones. Somewhere within those half-lit halls, Ala Quin had found her way to stillness again, or something near enough to it. She’d been here for several days now, but in the kind of quiet that came after too many voices had lived in one’s head for too long.

The presence of the goddess Shiraya had left her, but the echo remained, a trace of divinity that shimmered like frost across her consciousness. She had not come here to escape Naboo, nor the warmth of Lorn and Isla’s company. It was only to remember who she was when all other presences fell away. The snow muffled the galaxy’s noise. That was enough.

She heard him before she saw him. Not through the Force, not through any supernatural attunement, but through the muffled crunch of boots on packed ice and the laughter that followed a simple command given to a dog. A smile tugged at her lips before she even turned.

“Buster,” she murmured softly to herself.

When Connel’s figure came into view at the far end of the courtyard, Ala was sitting cross-legged on a low stone step, gloved hands wrapped around a steaming cup. The steam curled like phantom breath between them. Her curls, typically wild and unconquerable, were mostly subdued beneath the hood of a rather ostentatious snow suit—cream and bronze with an unnecessary fur lining that glittered faintly with melted snow.

“You know,” she called out in that half-playful, half-teaching tone that only masters could manage, “I’m fairly certain these ruins weren’t designed for canine excursions.” Her eyes danced with humor, but beneath it was that subtle mischief she never quite managed to hide. “Though, I suppose the galaxy’s not designed for many of the things we find worth doing.”

She rose, brushing snow from her gloves, her breath forming soft clouds in the air. “You’ve come a long way to find what’s already inside you, Connel. Or maybe just to remember it.” A gentle grin followed, disarming the weight of her words. “Either way, I hope you don’t mind sharing the quiet.”

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| Outfit: Winter exploration suit (cream and bronze, fur-lined) | Tag: Connel Vanagor Connel Vanagor |​

 
Light? No. Shadow? No. Responsibility.
VVVDHjr.png
No Regrets
Yavin VIII
Students of the Light Temple Ruins





pHjD5Dp.png


Connel didn’t see her at first. It was Buster who did. The pup was prancing around proudly with a stick he had found, about to run up to the Shadow and show off his prize when he saw her. That is when the stick was nothing more than a piece of wood that he dropped and sprinted up to her. Buster wanted to jump on the pixie and lick the pigment off of her face, but he was too good, even knowing she would welcome it, he still sat (tail going a sector a parsec) and waited for permission.

That is when he saw her.

Master Quin.

Yes, she was still his “aunt”, still the dreamer who taught him how to get under Caltin's skin without getting in trouble and how to get out of doing chores, but they had not seen each other in a long time, perhaps she had changed, he sure did. Perhaps others were around, and did not know their connection? He wanted her to have the respect her station deserved. He would greet her formally, with respect due to her position, and keep his personal feelings aside at least until he knew “the coast is clear”, so to speak. It was a small gesture, but one that carried weight, especially in the presence of others who might not understand their history.

I don’t think the galaxy was designed for Buster. He smiled at his best friend. Instinctively, his right hand floated over a pocket, something was in it, and he would get to that, but right now he walked a little closer.

Connel was here to find what was already inside of him? What? He wanted to understand what was driving him, what had been buried so deep that even he couldn’t fully grasp it. Was it guilt, longing, or something else entirely? The answers, he hoped, would reveal themselves if he could just stay focused and keep moving forward. I’m willing… I don’t know if Buster is… but I am…

This was actually turning out to be a nice surprise.




 
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ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ "ᴍɪꜱꜱ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ" ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ

Ala-project-2.png


Ala’s laughter drifted through the cold like sunlight through frost. “You know,” she said, as Connel drew closer, “I think Buster will be OK with it. Besides, he is distracted.” She gestured toward Buster, who was now proudly gnawing on the “distraction” in question — a fragment of ancient temple molding, no less.

The curls that had escaped her hood bounced as she tilted her head, eyes glinting with familiar mischief. “And now you show up calling me Master Quin.She placed a hand over her heart in exaggerated offense. “Connel, please. That title adds at least twenty years and a limp. It’s just Ala. Always has been.”

For a moment she studied him in silence, the mirth in her expression softening to something more reflective. There was strength in him now, and quiet — something his father would have recognized. “You’ve grown,” she said simply, as though that explained everything. “And don’t worry, I’m not about to start quoting temple doctrine or asking if you’ve been meditating before breakfast.”

Her smile deepened. “Though, if you do start getting too serious, I might just have to assign you something ridiculous to keep you grounded.” A playful wink. “For old time’s sake.”

She turned then, looking out toward the snow-dusted steps where history and memory met. “It’s good to see you, Connel. I didn’t think I’d find anyone here — least of all someone someone that reminds me even more of...what we lost....”

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| Outfit: Winter exploration suit (cream & bronze, fur-lined) | Tag: Connel Vanagor Connel Vanagor |​

 
Light? No. Shadow? No. Responsibility.
VVVDHjr.png
No Regrets
Yavin VIII
Students of the Light Temple Ruins





pHjD5Dp.png


Wha? Buster?

Oh come on!

He just smiled and shook his head as Buster stopped for a moment and smiled at him and then went back to his impromptu pastime. There was nothing there that would hurt him, so Connel just let it go and let the pup enjoy himself.

Then she jokingly complained about his address to her station. Did she just say that Father was old and limped? She would recognize the eyebrow that shot up from that. He was not bothered by what she said, but trying to be silly, but still, it was there. Alright, Master Ala. A wink later.

Did he grow? Not really? Not since the last time they had seen each other that day in the bowels/tunnels of Corellia’s capital. That was an interesting day, he was in the middle of an operation, raiding an ill-begotten vault of ancient stolen Force related items that a criminal organization had come across and she seemed to be there trying to decide if he was alright or not.

It’s the shoes… kidding… it might be the new cybernetic enhancements. A sore subject, but a memory of that fateful day when he was all but bifurcated by Darth Kizash and owed his life to Thirdas Heavenshield Thirdas Heavenshield and his team that found the young Knight.. As for meditation, I’m about as efficient with that as Father was… A short chortle kept him from really taking a deep dive into that.

He didn’t really understand what she would assign him, or in reality, ask him to do, so he shrugged in a manner that was accepting of it all either way. Then she said it…

“...what we lost....”

No doubt at all that she did not mean it badly, but the words STUNG. Sure, he just referenced him, but when she said this… old feelings started to surface. They weren’t how he felt now, so he took another breath to let them go and ultimately he half-smiled. It’s been a nice surprise, indeed. I won’t bother you, something just pulled me here. I’m trying to figure out what it is, but surmising that you are here too… a picture is starting to come together.

Things were different now. He wasn't the guy he used to be, but still altruistic.



 
ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ "ᴍɪꜱꜱ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ" ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ

Ala-project-2.png


Ala blinked at him in exaggerated disbelief, her curls bouncing as she straightened. Master Ala. "Absolutely not," she said, a hand flying up in immediate veto. "I refuse to respond to anything that makes me sound like I should be sitting on a council seat lecturing initiates about posture." A tiny grin tugged at her mouth. "Try again."

His comment about growing earned only a soft huff of amusement. "You're taller here," she said, tapping a gloved finger lightly against his chest. "Not in height. In presence." A gentle shrug followed. "Shoes or cybernetics have nothing to do with that."

When he referenced his enhancements, her eyes softened—no pity, no alarm, just quiet recognition, the kind one only gave to someone they had once watched grow up. "I can't imagine what you have been through," she murmured. "And I'm glad you're still here to make terrible jokes about footwear."

It was when he reacted to her earlier words that she paused. Not stiffening—just recalibrating, reading what flickered across his expression. Her voice, when she spoke again, gentled noticeably.

"I didn't mean loss," she said softly. "Not like that. We don't lose the people who shaped us, Connel. We carry them forward. Even when the galaxy feels…thin around the edges."

Ala let the moment breathe, then nudged his arm lightly with her elbow—warmth, grounding, familiarity.

"And you're not bothering me. If anything, I'm relieved you're here. It means I'm not the only one pulled back to old stones by something I can't name yet." She gestured around the snow-dusted ruin. "Maybe whatever tugged us both here is the same thing. Maybe it isn't. But it doesn't feel like coincidence."

Her eyes met his, bright despite the cold. "So don't go wandering off just yet, hmm? I'd rather share the quiet. And I think Buster has already declared this a group activity."

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| Tag: Connel Vanagor Connel Vanagor |​

 
Light? No. Shadow? No. Responsibility.
VVVDHjr.png
No Regrets
Yavin VIII
Students of the Light Temple Ruins





pHjD5Dp.png


The faux disdain for what he had just said about her being a Master made him smile happily. Something he had not truly done in a long time. Sure, she had grown herself, but she was still “Aunt Ala” and she showed the same influence and outlook that Father did. In that moment, EVERY bit of tension, awkwardness, and concern in him vanished.

Alright, Aunt Ala, it is then. Another wink and a smirk later.

When she clarified what she meant about his growth, it was something that really made him think. It was a result of necessity, wasn’t it? He was not the wide-eyed little boy she once knew, he was not even the guy she was concerned about on Corellia. He was… something else… it used to scare him, now he was using it to terrify those who would scare others.

Nothing really to imagine. It’s been… a trial… to say the least… He genuinely appreciated her comment about being glad he made it through, and showed it, a rarity for him. However, has he really? I am concerned that I am losing sight of who I am, at least nowadays.

When she told him to “not run off” there was a wave of relief that washed over him. No ridiculous weight being lifted, but he seemed to need this more than he thought. Recognize this?

It was “Conservator”, his father’s lightsaber, that Connel pulled from over his back. I’ve been carrying it since everything happened. I saw everything.

He summarized how he was “different” when he put on his gear, and with everything the way it was, that was okay. He had his role, he had his place, and he was following his path. Now though? There was something pulling him back, and it felt like there were two sides of him. Two sides fighting an inner war for control of what she saw. He could handle it, he was handling it. However, there was a problem. With him gone, there still needed to be a “Vanagor” out there, not just in name. Connel was not trying to believe that he could take the “Grumpy” Boulder’s place, and he was never told or influenced to do… well… obviously SOMETHING was influencing him, but he could not understand what it was.

He needed to reconcile these conflicting parts of himself, to find a way to integrate them without losing sight of who he truly was. The struggle was exhausting, but he knew that ignoring it would only make things worse. I’m not a danger, but with him gone, the conflict has been taxing to say the least. I don’t know what to do, or how to handle it. Then when I went to sleep… I dreamt of a huge castle in the snow… a tavern with a huge “Tom’s” sign not far away… and there was something in there… and well I woke up and here I am.

Putting the weapon back as Buster came trotting up, proud of the new prize in his mouth, a stick, he smirked at the pup and reached down to scratch him behind the ear. It’s odd of me to say this, but if I didn’t have this little guy around, I would probably be a “danger” in some way shape or form. I mean… I want to take the fight to the Sith on their terms… and in a way that makes them go running. I don’t care about trying to redeem them… and it’s embarrassing.

He knew that this was out of the blue, and a lot for her to take in, but it was true, and he had no one else to tell. Enough about me. Sorry to dump that on you. Congratulations are in order Grand... oh wait… I can’t say the rest. He smirked again, trying to lighten the mood.

 
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ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ "ᴍɪꜱꜱ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ" ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ

Ala-project-2.png

"Problem is not losing sight of who you are," Ala said with a carefree shrug as she pet Buster, "problem is lying to yourself about what you see."

She bounced up again, and nabbed a wafting clump of snow from the air. It didn't even come close to melting in her hand, a quick reminder of just how cold it was.

"We are not one static thing that is unchanging. One thing that we must hold and cling to at all costs. Who we are evolves and changes over the years...we just have to learn the language of the new us," she said before her eyes growing wider at the sight of Caltin's lightsaber, "my word...you really have to have hands the size of boulders to wield that thing don't you?"

She started to walk, further into the temple. Connel could follow if he desired. She spoke as if he had, without checking to see if he did.

"We can't fight the Sith on their terms without eventually becoming them," Ala said, musing as if it were a set-in-stone reality, "but the greatest lesson we learn from history...is that paninis are better than pitas...or something...like that..."

She had gotten distracted by a door that led to her old dormitory floor. Her walk, became a run, and she was soon disappearing under the fallen stone slab onto the other side...where she stopped...frozen by memories of another life...

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| Tag: Connel Vanagor Connel Vanagor |​

 
Light? No. Shadow? No. Responsibility.
VVVDHjr.png
No Regrets
Yavin VIII
Students of the Light Temple Ruins





pHjD5Dp.png


When she gave her observation about not losing sight he chuckled slyly. This coming from the woman who refuses to be addressed as “Master”. Another wink and a smirk later. ... I hear you.

When she brought up the observation of how they are ever evolving and changing, it made sense, but he wondered if she was really speaking to him or in general. It didn’t matter which as he listened, and noted that they hadn’t seen each other in a long time, but there was something that was still puzzling him. When she commented on “Conservator. You know what they say about guys with big hands… they wear big gloves…

His father’s old joke she would no doubt have heard at one point.

He did follow her, but had a question immediately. So, you don’t believe that our choices matter? He wasn’t asking to judge, but a few days ago his father came to him in a meditation. He wasn’t sure if his father’s appearance was symbolic or something more. It felt like a reminder of the choices he had made and those he was yet to face. The conversation left him with a lingering sense of curiosity and unease.

There was one issue that he had to disagree with though. Wraps…

Then she took off under a fallen slab. Buster went back to playing in the snow as Connel moved the slab itself (no way a 6 '5 dude was fitting under that), careful so as not to disturb anything that it might be holding up. When he found her, he didn’t say anything, just observed for a moment.

Figuring in her sudden stop and stare, now was as good a time as any, he pulled out the box. I’m actually glad we ran into each other for another reason. He had this for a long time, never told me what was in it, but that it was yours. Said it needed to go to you had the most use for it. He clearly honored the old man’s wishes and didn’t know what was in the box as he offered it.

When she would open it, she would see the old, broken pendant she once wore, with a note. “You were always more than you thought you were. <3 -C”

Connel didn’t look, he was busy trying to figure out the significance. How this corridor and floor meant anything, true it was not his place to assume, or really ask. He could only believe that it was connected to her time at this old Temple. Perhaps a friend’s floor? An old boyfriend? She looked like she dated a “Slater”... no… no… a “Zakk”... definitely a “Zakk”.


 
ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ "ᴍɪꜱꜱ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ" ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ

Ala-project-2.png

Ala tried not to roll her eyes when Connel dropped Caltin's line. She failed. Miserably.

She did not comment though. She didn't need too. Her half-serious judgmental expression did all the work.

When Connel brought up another reason for wanting to see her, she could only offer a "Hmmm?" because it was quickly stifled by a gasp.

"Connel...oh my word...where...where did...he kept it? All these years..."

Her fingers traced the outline of the pendant that she once thought of as a simple keepsake. But it had been so, so much more than that.

"This...this is for me?" She said, not sure how to proceed.

7fGgQKR.png


| Tag: Connel Vanagor Connel Vanagor |​

 
Light? No. Shadow? No. Responsibility.
VVVDHjr.png
No Regrets
Yavin VIII
Students of the Light Temple Ruins





pHjD5Dp.png


Okay, clearly whatever was in the box was important to her, VERY important. He didn’t want to press, or even really look at it, this was her moment. Though she asked him if it was for her. Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?

He didn’t ask to be “smart” or “snarky”, Connel truly did not know how important it was to her. He had it on the mantle at the house for years. Always said it was yours and that it would go to you when the time was right, when it wouldn’t hurt you. I don’t know, I guess it was supposed to be a surprise. For a long time he didn’t talk about it.

Then a rough moment flashed across his face. Then, when we got word that the Empire was attacking Coruscant, he pulled me aside… told me something about the last time you two saw each other. You told him about a Padawan who was like a daughter to you?

He had heard the rumors, but this was Ala, it was her privacy and she deserved that, to be able to tell on her terms, not when someone confronts her, even if congratulatory. He respected her more than enough to let her decide when and how to share her story. Ala was never truly private, but he knew that even well-meaning questions could feel like an intrusion. He hoped she would open up when she was ready, that was up to her though. No pressure from him.

Anyway, he reminded me about it, the little box I had always asked about, thinking it was a secret “Life Day” gift if I was good enough. He told me if something happened, to make sure you got it… then everything happened…

Now it was his turn not to know how to proceed. I’ve just been trying to figure out how to slip it in, not just come out and says “Here”.

This was clearly affecting her, so it made him back off a bit. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to cause an issue. It was just really important to him that you had that at the right time. He always said that.


 
ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ "ᴍɪꜱꜱ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ" ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ

Ala-project-2.png

Tears. The welled, and then the fell.

She did not reach for the gift, but she instead reached for Connel. She could not hug Caltin, so Connel would have to do. She squeezed until it sounded as if she might burst. All the while, sobbing.

"This pendant is where I came from," she sobbed, snotting nose rubbing into his sleeve.

It was truly ugly crying.

She pulled back, pulled the gift into her hand, and played with the note between her fingers. "Gaven gave me this pendant. When...I...this...me...that you know...was written over the consciousness of a very sad, and hurt young girl."

She shrugged. "Long story. Weird story. But surprise...I am a squatter in this ole noggin'."



7fGgQKR.png


| Tag: Connel Vanagor Connel Vanagor |​

 
Light? No. Shadow? No. Responsibility.
VVVDHjr.png
No Regrets
Yavin VIII
Students of the Light Temple Ruins





pHjD5Dp.png


Okay, wait, what? She was all in her feelings now. ”Came from”?

He was caught off guard by the ugly crying and the sharp hug, but she … sort of… explained… So he was controlling you? What?

It was more a question inward than outward, really. Did she have multiple personality disorder like he did at one point? Then she explained a little more. Well, I don’t care if you’re real, which you are, or a “squatter”. You’re my aunt. I’ve lost too much family over the last couple of years to be willing to think otherwise.

He looked at the pendant, and the note in her hands.

I mean, I know you have your own thing going and separate ways have been gone, but you knew him longer than I did. I mean, unless he told this “Gaven” guy to do it… he obviously thought you’re worth whatever he did... I mean... you still have apartments he built. He thought of her apartment on the old Shadow Temple, which he felt the need to rebuild, the one in the Temple of the Elements, and the house set aside for her on Sanctuary Island, or Temple, or whatever it is called on Alderaan. I mean, you're family... all that matters.

He shrugged. It was an interesting thought that this "Ala" was a conditioning, but it didn't matter. She wasn't a "squatter" anymore. What do I know, though. I still deal with my messed up personality every time I put that mask on. Referring to his gear he puts on when he goes to work.


 
ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ "ᴍɪꜱꜱ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ" ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ

Ala-project-2.png

While Ala appreciated the sentiments and the words that Connel shared, her nose did that whole scrunchy thing that it did when she was unhappy. "What the heck do you mean by that?" She said, hands falling to hips in defiance of anything that would hurt her family.

Trinket in hand, Ala was walking down the hallway, expectation that she would be followed.

"You got some possessed mask or something that turns you into a psycho or something?" She called back.

7fGgQKR.png


| Tag: Connel Vanagor Connel Vanagor |​

 
Light? No. Shadow? No. Responsibility.
VVVDHjr.png
No Regrets
Yavin VIII
Students of the Light Temple Ruins





pHjD5Dp.png


Scrunchy nose… hands on hips…

Wha? All he could wonder is what he said?

Then she started walking away and asking a question he could barely make out (she was facing away from him after all). Yeah, ever since I started doing the whole “Shadow” thing… you saw me on Corellia…

He also started to tell her about the whole ordeal, when he was torn apart in a fight with Dark Kizash on Vendaxa, the time in Bacta (almost a year) being rebuilt from the inside out, thus the cybernetics. Then there was the change in him, the fear that he was being hunted by the Dark Side. Then there was his going to Midvinter to talk to “The Lion King” who found his situation. Then the talk on the “Prosperity” with @Valery Noble who suggested he follow the path of the Shadow, it would help him. Then the father called in a favor and Liram arranged Special Force training as a sort of “crash course” in tactics and stealth. Finally crescendoing in the battle with the same Sith Lord, on Tython. I don’t know what it is, but it’s like… when I “go to work”... I put that gear on. I do it to let me walk around like this without being targeted maybe? I don’t know. It just seems to work for me, to help me cope. I mean, I work with a bunch of operators… great guys. They all wear the same thing. The thing is, it’s like a can be a different person when I put that stuff on… intense… but meaningful…

He kept walking, looking for Buster. I mean… I was all sorts of messed up before… I guess I never changed… He was almost disappointed.


 
Light? No. Shadow? No. Responsibility.
VVVDHjr.png
No Regrets
Yavin VIII
Students of the Light Temple Ruins





pHjD5Dp.png


He did not have much to say at this point. Connel had given her the pendant(not that he knew what it was initially), having said what he needed to say as well. Buster was enjoying his new prized possession, a stray frozen sock, but he looked like he was ready to leave.

So Connel was at this point. Unless there was anything else.


 

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