What's New
Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Submission Modifications

Status
Not open for further replies.

Balaya Praelior Zambrano

Balaya Zambrano, Emperor's Bust
Balaya Praelior Zambrano
Character Bio
Submission Name: Elara Blake
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/33186-elara-blake/
Reason for Modification: Elara has been in several threads and learned from her master.
Modification:

Asajj_Ventress_Jedi_Trial_Japanese.jpg

Image Credit: http://img3.wikia.no...al_Japanese.jpg
Name: Elara Blake
Loyalties: One Sith
Role: Elara is a servant to Balaya and sith initiate learning from her master as she ages (and eventually possibly becomes an actual PC character)
Development Threads:

Thread Tracker:
Age: Eight
Species: Human
Force-Sensitive: Yes
Appearance: Often dressed in a black robe with hood, Elara's garments are simple befitting her age and rank. She is an initiate and traveling companion to Balaya learning from her and the One Sith.
Personality: As a child Elara doesn't have much going on for herself, she is curious and timid not wanting to disappoint the giant who had her kill her mother. She functions in a slight daze at times learning what she can but feeling the effects of her masters magics. Her abilities in the force being augmented and enhanced for periods of time. One of her mannerisms is to shift back and forth on her feet while nervous.
Weapon of Choice:
Wealth: 20 credits a week
Combat Function: She is more akin to a squire then fighter. There is a shoto saber for defense and a training saber but her primary combat experience is run back to her master or to Darth Vornskr to tell him what has happened.
Skills:
  • Trained with a tri stunner
  • Trained with sabers
  • Trained in push
  • Trained in pull
  • Trained in spark
  • Trained in fear
  • Trained in rage
Notable Possessions: None
Other Notes: Elara is an apprentice of Balaya and has a home in Kaine's castle as she does. This has afforded her a small amount of protection from the Blackblades. She has no command of them, she can't order themt o do stuff but they aren't going to let her die right away as long as she doesn't do something dumb. Her time with the sith master has let her learn from observation of her the basics of cruelty and force powers. Elara has slowly been growing colder and colder as she serves her master.
 

Alva Calvarona

Character
Alva Calvarona
Submission Name: Crina
Link to Submission: HERE
Reason for Modification: Location needed to be changed due to extenuating circumstances.
Modification: In location rather than between Belkadan and Bosph it needs to be above Kalee and Valc VII
 
Major Faction

Vulpesen

The Arch Wilder
Vulpesen
Character Bio
Link and name: Zorren
Reason: I'm forgetful and I really want Vulpesen to have a tail. (DON'T JUDGE M- oh wait...)
Modification: Ok, two categories, things I forgot and the thing I just kinda wanted changed for story and vanity's sake.
Forgot: Zorrens should have canine fangs(they are dog people after all) and the nails become hard enough to cut into most woods, as it helps them climb things in an arboreal environment.
Vanity's sake: Change the appearance of the high zorren tail to after the transformation... just because I really want that tail and I don't think a devthread of me ripping off someone else's should really be needed for something who's most practical use is keeping you warm with its bushy softness.

[SIZE=10pt]All Zorrens: At some time in their lives, Zorrens are sent through a conditioning period known as the trial. A month long journey through any harsh environment will eventually start to change their body as it naturally adapts. The stress brought on by such conditions releases hormones and chemicals which speeds certain bodily functions and changes others. These changes include their nails growing into hard talons that while extended beyond the human hand are not clumsily so, ears growing a small point, hardening of their new talons to be able to cut through materials such as hard woods, canine fangs, joints on their ears to move them independently, slight changes in bone structure to allow for running on all limbs in a comfortable manner (though they remain mostly bipedal), changes in vocal cords that cause their words to come out as more of a growl, making their natural language of Veradun easier to speak, and enhanced senses. After the Trial, a Zorren’s life span also changes, causing them to age at a fraction of the rate of a normal human being while their metabolism speeds up to sustain this. A full-fledged Zorren might eat twice the normal human does on an active day. One of the largest marks of a Zorren can also be found in their bright golden eyes.[/SIZE]

High Zorrens: Much like the normal Zorrens, their body structure is the same as a human up until their trial. However, the pureblood of a high Zorren causes a special difference in that they are born with Receive a tail once they complete their transformation a canine tail. While this can be a status symbol to different groups, it is often ignored and simply seen for what it is… a tail.

[member="Matsu Ike"]
 

Balaya Praelior Zambrano

Balaya Zambrano, Emperor's Bust
Balaya Praelior Zambrano
Character Bio
Submission Name: Elara Blake
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.ne...86-elara-blake/
Reason for Modification: Elara has been in several threads and learned from her master.
Modification:

Asajj_Ventress_Jedi_Trial_Japanese.jpg

Image Credit: http://img3.wikia.no...al_Japanese.jpg
Name: Elara Blake
Loyalties: One Sith
Role:
Elara is a servant to Balaya and sith initiate learning from her master as she ages (and eventually possibly becomes an actual PC character)

Reform the Padawan Pack and work with jedi in disguise to corrupt and infiltrate.

Development Threads:
Thread Tracker:

Age: 12
Species: Human
Force-Sensitive: Yes
Appearance: Often dressed in a black robe with hood, Elara's garments are simple befitting her age and rank. She is an initiate and traveling companion to Balaya learning from her and the One Sith.
Personality: Elara has been hardened by her time with the sith, she still maintains a personality of carefree happiness but she knows how to be serious and stand her ground. her master's influence upon her showing her the need to find a cause and dedicate to it fully. When angered or nervous Elara now works to strike back and stop the problem, when speaking she maintains an even tone revealing very little.
Weapon of Choice:
Wealth: 60 credits a week
Combat Function: Elara through the years has grown, the time under her master has taught her several spells and force powers. Skill with a lightsaber and tri-stunner. She has begun to take a stronger role in combat able to fight with her master and coordinate with other with and blackblades. Her command of Blackblade soldiers has also improved earnign her a little respect as a student of the Sith Warlord.
Skills:
  • Trained with a tri stunner
  • Trained with sabers
  • Trained in push
  • Trained in pull
  • Trained in spark
  • Trained in fear
  • Trained in rage
  • Trained in Ears of the Chiroptix:
  • Trained in Revitalization of the Whuffa:
  • Trained in Scream of the Ssurian:
  • Trained in Sense of the Veshet:
  • Trained in Speed of the Toocha:
  • Trained in Surge of the Brier:
  • Trained in Touch of the Kiin'Dray:
Notable Possessions: None
Other Notes: Elara is an apprentice of Balaya and has a home in Kaine's castle as she does. This has afforded her a small amount of protection from the Blackblades. She has no command of them, she can't order themt o do stuff but they aren't going to let her die right away as long as she doesn't do something dumb. Her time with the sith master has let her learn from observation of her the basics of cruelty and force powers. Elara has slowly been growing colder and colder as she serves her master. Slowly over time as she has grown in her masters service she has become a competent magic user of Dathomiri spells and working to become a sith magic user hopefully. The minor combat sklills she has held have been improving and thanks to her battle against Sophia Walsh with her master in the Second battle of Alderaan, her battle against the Havoc Squad in the first battle of Alderaan and fighting the Mandalorians on coruscant. She has become a dangerous child soldier within the One Sith.

Accolades:
  • Fought in First Battle of Alderaan
  • Fought in Second Battle of Alderaan
  • Fought in First Battle of Empress Teta
  • Fought in Second Battle of Coruscant
  • Member of the Padawan Pack

PadawanPack_zps361192e4.png
b0Sad3.jpg
 
Major Faction

Matsu Ike

Emberlene's Daughter, The Jedi Generalist
Matsu Ike
Character Bio
Submission Name: Shri-Tal
Link to Submission: Shri-Tal
Reason for Modification: New, locations, new species, small updates, tags for future works. Several threads have been done exploring the world and searching its ruins, temples, caves, locations
Modification:

System Features:
  • Sekirei (WIP): A prison colony world, the people of Shri-tal have created in the dangerous world a habitation zone that prisoners are kept in. Fossilized remains of cities and people buried deep underground.
  • Kazahana Asteroid Field (WIP): On the edge of the system and filled with debris from Imperial trash dumps. The asteroids provide a small obstacle to navigate.
  • Uzeme Nebula (WIP): Region of Ionized space surrounding the Asobi system that have helped protect it by inhibiting hyperspace travel except through marked passages.

Species:
Native Species:
Immigrated Species:
  • Twi-lek
  • Vanr
  • Sith purebloods
  • Whiphids
  • Jawa
  • Other
Immigrated Animals/plants:
  • Nexu
  • Taozin
  • Ice puppies
  • Terentatek
  • Nerf
  • Jekobeast
  • Chrysalide Veergundarks
  • Leviathan
  • Sea Leviathan
  • Rancor
  • Tyrant Rancor
  • Bull Rancor
  • Chrysalide
  • Hssiss
  • Dart Flower
  • Pelko Bug
  • Vine coffee
  • Vine silk
  • Bloodvine
  • Other
Major Locations:
  • The Dragon King's Palace: The sight of an ancient and wise seer from the stars. The Duinuogwuin has been on the planet for years and offering advice to the Emperor's or Empresses even providing his blessing at their naming ceremony. The palace is tended to by members of a holy order dedicated to knowledge and wisdom but outside the jedi to prevent retaliation. Origins originate back further into the planets history but like old god they find new things.
  • The Cloud Pavilion: A large import and export hub on the world, with traders coming from around the galaxy to exchange certain goods. Small domes are built to grow exotic plants from around and help with exotic creatures from nearby planets. The habitation domes for growing can mimic several climates including volcanic, desert, jungle, forest and snow covered.
  • The Emperors Palace: A lavish and old style castle built with the city around it. The design is much like a wheel with the spokes roads leading to the central outer wall where the bulk of an army is housed to defend their emperor or empress. The inner wall houses homes of the highest officials and then the large castle at the center. The outer walls of the city are divided into two sections the rich farmland and upper business district area.
  • The Pillow Book: An old tavern created in the prime of Shri-tal's modernization by Xim and the longest running establishment on the planet. The sections underneath house a guild works and base for trained assassin's and bounty hunters of the GenoHaradan. The top most sections are legit business supplying credits to the rulers of the planets. The guild and secrative nature of it allows for nearly any job to be handled or taken care of.
  • Hammer Fall Site: An ancient temple created by the Warriors of Shadows, the Taung sisterhood that was exiled from Coruscant and fought in the Unknown regions until the incident that shattered the codex. The temple they constructed holds eight warriors and their cursed weapons. The Wicked hammers that have created a nexus within the force.
  • Ancient Ruin: Carbon dated to pre republic times and containing murals of beings coming from the sky to wipe out technological advancement to a level they deem acceptable. The remains of a broken hypergate are at the center but not as old as the ruins themselves. The only sign of connections is the Ophidian Grotesques an ancient statue found on Coruscant. The statues point to things older and pre-date most Republic records but are not from Kwa, Gree, Rakatan origins.
  • Shri-Tal Companions Temple: Built in an ancient Atrisian style temple for the Companions guild. It is within the mountains and protected by the Ranger's who protect the world. Danger has bought the land and provides credits for the Silver jedi and planets coffers for their privacy.
  • Aoi Estate: The Silver jedis base of operations on the planet, a two story building created on the lake with a shrine and plenty of space for them. The exterior is elaborate looking like the other rich estates in the area but the interior is sparse with a home for their head researcher below and lower then that a vault.
 

Lok Jorunn

Buck
Lok Jorunn
Character Bio
Submission Name: Gladius-model Battle Dress Uniform
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/31803-gladius-model-battle-dress-uniform/
Reason for Modification: Found an image that would seem really useful when referring to the Gladius' VIS/HUD feature of the armor and thus allows for an easier construction of roleplaying posts.
Modification: The addition of this picture below the actual submission photo with the caption of: The VIS/HUD system as seen from the user.
 

Valiens Nantaris

Head Admin
Valiens Nantaris
Admin
Character Bio
[member="Lok Jorunn"]
This is done, but I'm going to need an image source for the new picture.

[member="Matsu Ike"]
Done

[member="Darth Praelior"]
Done

[member="Warren Century"]
So what exactly do you want me to do?

[member="Darth Tsolan"]
Apologies for the delay, this has been done.
 

Ashin Varanin

Professional Enabler
Ashin Varanin
Submission Name: Styx
Link to Submission: Here
Reason for Modification: Stole a space station
Modification: Include this line:

Long after the fall of the Sith Empire, a raiding force led by Ashin Varanin, Spencer Jacobs and Jared Ovmar reclaimed and removed the station and heavily damaged the moons' defenses. Thanatos Station is no longer located in the Styx system.


Submission Name: Echidna
Link to Submission: Here
Reason for Modification: Stole a space station
Modification: Include (removed) after the moon/station Khar'lan, and this line in the description/history:

In the modern era, Echidna reaped the harvest of Danger Arceneau's bounty against assets of Subach-Innes Corporation. In hopes of changing the Yuuzhan Vong world's climate and making the Subach factories untenable, a team of Mandalorians led by Ember Rekali, Jasper Ordo and Skye Mertaal removed the station with a quintet of synchronized bulk freighter hyperdrives. Khar'lan Station is no longer located in the Echidna system. It is not yet known what long-term effects the station's absence will have on Echidna, but seasons and weather patterns are out of kilter.
 

Fabula Caromed

Belle of the Brawl
Fabula Caromed
Character Bio
Submission Name: Clamor
Link to Submission: Because y'all lazy.
Reason for Modification: Sentence fragment. I had a couple of typos when I submitted this that I hadn't proofread out when it was locked.
Modification: The Heart of Clamor description should be finished out something like this: "This roiling boil on the face of the world defies most expectations of geothermal science, and the only explanation is that the warped nature of the planet sustains such an impossible peak."

I've learned my lesson. Next time I'll actually give it a once-over before submitting it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 3 (members: 0, guests: 3)
Top Bottom