Public See The Light | Jedi

[Auteme]

Jedi | Prosperity​

Teach a class, they said. It'll be easy, they said.

Nobody said that. That was what Auteme had told herself when she'd signed up to teach a class. Why did she tell herself that? She'd known she'd regret it later.

Odd as it was to admit, Auteme had never taught a class before. She didn't consider herself at the teaching age. She had so much more to learn, anyways, so how could she teach someone else? As much as it was her duty to share knowledge, she didn't have all the knowledge she'd liked to have shared. She'd really only begun using the Force in the last few years. It took a very long time to become an expert in a thing. Maybe she could teach a biology class. But Force Light?

But Force Light.

Force Light was essential to being a Jedi in her view. To push back the darkness, it was necessary to know where to find the lightswitch. There was no shortage of darkness in the galaxy, no shortage of conflict, no shortage of alchemized objects that may need to be purified. Today Auteme would share her way of doing things.

Not without a little rambling, first, of course.

"Good afternoon, and thank you for coming," she said, addressing the small class as the last of her students -- oh, wow, she had students -- trickled into the room. The Prosperity's training facilities were far better equipped than she thought. Probably should've scouted things out before starting. But there she was. Couldn't well pause to adjust the desks, or ask everyone's names -- well, she knew some people, so it'd be alright. Mostly padawans. A few knights. Some masters, just there to watch. Maybe. She didn't know. Maybe they didn't know. Didn't matter how old or experienced you were, there was always more to learn. Might as well learn to teach.

"I'm Auteme. Denko-Durren. I'm teaching this class." Obviously. She was already kicking herself. "Um, anyways..."

She cleared her throat. If she could speak in front of the Senate, she could speak to her students. As usual she was channeling Adhira Chandra 's spirit. Maybe she should've been channeling Master Morga? He was always so wise... or perhaps Master Rigel.

Focus. Find the flow. Be honest.

"Today I'll be talking about Force Light, though in truth... if I were to give you instructions on how to use it, it'd likely defeat the purpose. Honestly, I barely know how I use most powers," she said, immediately realizing how unqualified that made her sound.

"But... it's a feeling, something that comes to you, that you have yourself. Not a power or ability. A gift, but also something you build over time, like clearing debris from a river so it can flow freely." She smiled. "The Light is an inherent part of the Force. Everyone -- each of you -- has a little light inside you. It's just a matter of finding how you can draw it out, shape it with your will.

"You'll all have a chance to try it out, and I'll walk around and help you all out, but before we begin-

"Does anyone have any questions?"

 

[Kaleleon]

A lesson of the Light. Not theory, not an idea of what is considered a Jedi. A lesson of how to harness ones inner light, and to use it for the idea of your code of the Jedi. No matter what kind of Jedi you were. The name sounded familiar. Maybe seeing her around somewhere? Or at least hearing the name before she came into the room.

Today, while I wore my armor like always, the helmet was on the table before me. A glorified bench that went across a majority of the room. Seeing this lady come in, I just had a feeling. A flow of the force from her. Shaking, rippling. Almost nervous as though a fish was floundering within the waters. Trying to get purchase. As she continued to speak, her voice cleared up. Slowly becoming stronger and filled with conviction. More confident.

Even speaking of the force as a form of water. A river that you clear the debris from in order to strengthen the flow of the stream. A very apt description of the force and how I have interacted with it over my time as a Jedi, as well as the apprentice of Romi Jade

Having given us the chance to provide questions to her, I decided to speak up.

"What applications have you personally used Force Light?"

Auteme

 

[Aveline Cuiléin]

Aveline was one of the last to shuffle into the room before the class began. She tried to be pretty anonymous about it, likely being a stranger to everyone here. The class was offered up by Jedi of the New Jedi Order, but seeing as the invitation had been extended to the Silvers, Aveline had jumped on the chance. It was nice how they could all get along and cooperate without any complications...

Would she stand out? She didn't know the NJO dress code, but Aveline had showed up in a fairly traditional getup with dark brown hooded robes ontop of light brown and beige tunics and undertunics. She wasn't packing a lightsaber because, well, she didn't own one.

Her teacher was young, pretty too. Probably roughly the same age as Aveline, or maybe she was blessed with that kind of young face that never really aged. It did make Aveline question for a moment what the hell she had been doing with her life, but tried to move past it and accept there were prodigies all around the Galaxy and if she compared herself to everyone she met she'd only succumb to defeatism. Eyes forward, young Cuiléin.

Not wishing to stand out, she was content to listen to Auteme and try to take what she said to heart. There were many things she did not understand, but she hoped others would ask all the top quality questions and allow her to slide on without making a scene...

Kaleleon​

 

[Kenth Ordo]

Despite being initially hesitant about this whole Jedi business, Kenth had decided that there was no use in judging it before he actually learned something. As he spent more and more time on the Prosperity, he felt more in tune with this 'Force' than he had ever before, no longer believing his initial sensitivity to be some sort of prank by another.

No - every night as he rested, he could feel himself reaching out and sensing the inhabitants of the vessel, even going so far as to feel slivers of their emotions. He suspected that once he was further trained in whatever he was doing, he'd be able to find out who exactly ate his leftover half of a ham and nerf cheese sandwich, even though he put a note on it.

Repressing such a barbaric incident into the recesses of his mind, Kenth realized that the teacher was speaking and scrambled to write down what she said on his datapad for future reference. Something about a light? Did the Alliance forget to charge the maintenance droids?

Once the teacher asked if they had any questions, he glanced around and blinked when he saw a heavily-armoured man speak his mind, Kenth looking down at his modest shirt and trousers and feeling a little underdressed as he noticed that most of the people in the room were wearing robes.

Sighing quietly to himself, he relaxed in his seat and waited to see if anybody else would ask anything.

Auteme | Aveline Cuiléin | Kaleleon ​

 

[Auteme]

Kaleleon Aveline Cuiléin Kenth Ordo ​

Auteme considered the question for a long few moments. The more she thought about it, the more she realized how many times she'd drawn upon that Light. Against Abaddon on Brentaal IV, Prazutis on Onderon -- it was something she found comfort in, something she knew she could find in her heart whenever she needed it. So much of her time had once been consumed by a desire for permanence. The light was the only constant.

She smiled and straightened, bringing her hands forward and cupping them in front of her. The strands of light formed and spun with her will into a gleaming lotus contained in her palms. She stared at it for a few seconds before placing it on the table behind her.

"The light is unlimited. In truth, I use it every day. I could talk about how it's effective against the Sith, how imbuing it into your barriers can strengthen them, how its rays can push back any darkness. And it can certainly do those things," she said. "But that's only part of it. The light can heal, act as a beacon to your allies, calm the hearts of those in danger.

"There's a little light in the heart of every being. You can bring yours out to protect others just as you can use it to remind them of the good in the galaxy."

She took a step forward. Might as well get into the practical part of the lesson. "That's what I want you to do -- think about something good, use it to focus your will into the light," she said. "Think of the moment when you decided you wanted to be a Jedi; the moment you started believing that this was the path that would help you make the galaxy better."

That wasn't what she used as a source; not always, at least. But it was a good place to start for those learning. She could see that so many among them had light strong enough to manifest. Those who were most aware might feel a shift in that very light; a kind nudge, a little encouragement from their teacher that might help them coax it out. "When you have that image in your mind, bring that light forward and give it form -- creating a light from your hand is a good place to start."

With the instructions given, she set out into the class to give further aid where she could.

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

Many factors inspired Quill to slip into the back of the shipboard training room. Supporting Auteme , teacher to teacher, was one; learning from the engagement and personal connectedness of her teaching style was another. And worry played a role - concern that she'd set unfair expectations for herself. Some considered Force Light the greatest Jedi power, originated by legendary Masters. Auteme's ability to use it effectively came from deep study and commitment. Quill found himself deeply worried that she would take it hard if she couldn't get the first glows and flashes out of her students. Force alone knew how many times Quill had felt bad about similar things.

He took a seat in the back and smiled in what he hoped was a supportive way.

 

[Desbre Gensan]

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Location: Classroom, Prosperity.​

Equipment: Simple Jedi Robes in the color of snows, inherited lightsaber, light-filtering lenses​

Tag: Kaleleon | Kenth Ordo | Jend-Ro Quill ​

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Des had followed Aveline Cuiléin into the class. When it had come over the ComPort she'd been intrigued. Especially as she read a little on the primer. Useful for imbuing objects, and other things. It was regarded as a great ability. She didn't think highly of herself, but knowledge weighed nothing. It would not hurt to know, and if it helped her make new things, then all the better. But moreover, it would give her a deeper, broader understanding of the Force, and how to use it. How it could be used. At least that was the hope, and so she came.

Slipping into the back of the classroom. Not her usual position. She believed in being up in the front, where she was the closest to the action, the information, where she could soak up the most. Get any questions answered. Not that she was a teacher's pet. She only made the most earnest effort in learning she could. She gave each lesson her full attention, striving to commit every scrap to memory. But without stressing over it.

She took in Auteme 's words, and even the questions asked. While she wasn't used to classes quite in this format, sitting at a desk, she supposed there wasn't much need for more. Her datapad, a small one this time, was set to record for playback later.

Then came the instructional portion.

"The light is unlimited. In truth, I use it every day. I could talk about how it's effective against the Sith, how imbuing it into your barriers can strengthen them, how its rays can push back any darkness. And it can certainly do those things," she said. "But that's only part of it. The light can heal, act as a beacon to your allies, calm the hearts of those in danger.

That sounded wonderous. The pale Arkanian perked up, even her ears seemed to raise just a little. Healing was something she knew she would need to learn. Recent outings had proven that. Her ribs ached abominably for a moment, as did the rest of her. Phantom pains from the crash of her ship. Hunter droids for the slavers breaking her ribs with an inhumanly strong punch. Memories came in a flash.

"There's a little light in the heart of every being. You can bring yours out to protect others just as you can use it to remind them of the good in the galaxy."

She took a step forward. Might as well get into the practical part of the lesson. "That's what I want you to do -- think about something good, use it to focus your will into the light," she said. "Think of the moment when you decided you wanted to be a Jedi..."

Those words were like a spear into Desbre as she listened. Memories of a race, hair flying, the wind whipping back. Free. Happy. Disaster. She recognized now what she felt then. Feeling her grandmother's alarm. Her distress. And then her life beginning to fade. Feeling her grandmother die through the Force. It happened so fast. It left a hole in her heart.

Her eyes began to glisten, her vision turning watery. Suddenly she was grateful she was at the back of the class. This Autume wanted her to use that? The moment when a while later, she had sat at the kitchen table with her grandfather. Discussing that awful night. Pouring her heart out to him, about her mistakes, how she felt. What she felt. Seeing the look in his eyes and face change. Shutting her out completely, but offering her a new direction. The moment when he revealed their family had Jedi ancestry going back a long time. It was likely she was strong in the Force. It would explain much. She should go seek the Jedi.

Autume wanted her to use that. The day... her grandfather quietly suggested she leave. Likely never to return. It was a quiet exile. Self-imposed or not.

Tears began to flow once more. She swore she'd cried enough over what happened. But now she was asked to delve into those old pains, those old wounds. Draw them out, draw on that. They came hot and fresh, and she fought to stay quiet, to keep from breaking into fresh sobs as those memories came back crystal clear and obsidian sharp.

... the moment you started believing that this was the path that would help you make the galaxy better."

That gave her pause. Even as she had been getting her old, used ship she'd bought just for the trip to find the Jedi ready... As much as it hurt, she'd already started to hope even then. Never knowing how much pain she would endure. And she'd come to be accepted by her tiny order, not connected to the Silvers or the GA Jedi. A little backwater planet, hidden. Training under her first master, mentor, whatever. It was then that she'd started to believe, perhaps. Taking those first baby steps.

Somewhere along the way it had become ingrained into her. She'd never given up on her training. She'd taken breaks. Even climbing so far into a bottle she expected to die. She'd been disillusioned with the Jedi. But her training. The Force. The good she might do with it never wavered. It had been what got her to crawl out of the bottle, and return to training. She didn't quite understand why. Other than the challenge. And trying to make up for debts she could never repay, live up to standards she would never reach. She would never be good enough. Three masters that had come and gone, disappearing on her, ghosting her... shown that she was never going to be good enough for them. But maybe one day, she would make Knight. Maybe then she would do some good. Even if she saved just one. It would be worth it. Even if it took her life.

Did she believe she could make the galaxy better? No. Not something as tiny and insignificant as her. But she could make a galaxy's difference for someone. Or a few people. Maybe. She desperately wanted to though. For her parents. For her Grams. Her family. For herself. It was a need, an ache that welled up inside her as she thought on the matter. Deep down in her soul, her heart where it rested.

That wasn't what she used as a source; not always, at least. But it was a good place to start for those learning. She could see that so many among them had light strong enough to manifest. Those who were most aware might feel a shift in that very light; a kind nudge, a little encouragement from their teacher that might help them coax it out. "When you have that image in your mind, bring that light forward and give it form -- creating a light from your hand is a good place to start."

With the instructions given, she set out into the class to give further aid where she could.

She opened herself to the Force. It always came when she reached for it now. It always would. It was always around her, within her. The pain eased. Not washed away easy, but she knew it would never forsake her for it was both a friend and part of her. She focused on those moments, those images. How much she wanted to make a difference. But as the Force guided her she relaxed more.

What does it mean to be a Jedi? Why do you do it? What feeling does it engender?

Again, that voice. It always came to her in moments like this, enhancing lessons. Or when she felt on the bring. Part of her began to wonder if it wasn't the Force itself speaking to her. The feeling was sound. Solid. Focus on what she felt when she thought about actually being a Jedi. The idea and the ideal. Not how much pain she'd experienced.

Tears streamed down her face, eyes closed as she focused on those concepts. Standing as a guardian, a protector. Flashes of herself coming to mind. Standing in front of a wall of encroaching with no hope. Endless death and destruction. It was from a past vision. Against the Bryn'adul. Perhaps the Sith too. The darkness was merely a metaphor, for she felt that imminent threat. But there in front was her, what she assumed to be her, a small bright spot, shining almost like a beacon in front of it. No rays of light, just one small bright spot against inexorable darkness.

Another image flashed to mind. She was older, but not old, just more mature. Her saber, a teal or arctic saber lit in her right hand. Her left hand extended out. Robes of white, a shell of a Barrier or Shield wrapped around her, a bright point of light glimmering along its edge, wrapping around her protectively as she stood, a bulwark against destruction, indistinct figures behind her, huddled and cowered. Blaster fire skipping off her shield, an explosion beginning nearby. More came in. Always the same. Standing in the gap. Defending others. Holding back destruction and death. Healing and helping. Spreading relief, comfort, and safety wherever she went.

That was what she believed in. What she wanted to believe in. And it seemed so impossible. but if she could make someone smile. A mother, grateful for the return of a child. A newborn's laugh.

Focus on what has made you happy in the past. What made you feel good and worth something.

Nothing came at first. But then... Grams. The way she smiled at Des, even as a kid. Her hugs. Baking cookies. Best cookies in the city. The day she'd won one of the tougher races through the tunnel. Her girlfriend she'd left behind when she'd told Des she loved her. Celebrating with friends after another race, even with drinking and getting high. Fixing one of her buddy's swoops when they'd been struggling for a while. The way they lit up and hugged her. The sketches and art pieces she'd made for others.

No image came to mind at first, as she unconsciously cupped her hands, not quite together, but about a dozen centimeters apart. She wrapped up all those feelings in the Force, pouring them into it... and imagined just a sphere there, of glowing energy, pouring the Force into it, as she opened her eyes, her face still damp. Nothing came.

She focused harder, pouring not just her intellect into it, but pouring her heart into it. What hope she had. Gone were thoughts of past pains, failures, and worries. Only this. Only the challenge. Finding the light, the reasons she pressed forward. It didn't matter if she wore the title Jedi or not. It didn't even matter if there was a Jedi Order of any flavor. She would press on. She would do what was right. She had the ability to respond, and therefore it was her responsibility to do something about all the things she saw. To be what she saw, what she hoped for. Hope. That was what it meant to be a Jedi. Continually rising. Never-ending. Rising and rising again, until nerfs became dragons. Hope wasn't wishful thinking. Hope was a kind of faith, that things would be better. But it did not exist without action.

This too she poured into the construct. Hope wasn't something she was used to feeling. But now she found what it meant to her, and ... so much more. She focused on that, clung to it, as though a life preserver in a storm-tossed sea.

Even the smallest candle is all that is needed to hold back the dark. The candle of hope.

Her concentration remained but she relaxed. Her thoughts slowed and eased. Focusing on the feeling, the image, and the Force, a pinprick of light formed between her hands. Then grew a millimeter. A small smile blossomed on her face slowly as the light began to play across it. Within a few moments, it had grown to a centimeter wide. Then two. Then four. Then six. It was warm and she could feel its radiance against her skin. It even had an infrared component. She could see the gentle warmth, feel its glow.

Success! Cradling it in her right palm, she reached up to wipe her face on the snowy uniform sleeve, never breaking sight on the orb. It was still ghostly and translucent, but for now, she would take it.

​

 

[Kenth Ordo]

Kenth considered what Auteme had to say for the lesson, closing his eyes and balling his hands into fists on top of the classroom desk he was sat at, trying to call upon the same Force that he subconsciously felt every night as he fell asleep. The light is unlimited. He pictured a blinding supernova of light, like gazing into the centre of a star. There's a little light in the heart of every being. Kenth breathed deeply, trying to imagine a stream of light radiating from the star into his chest.

Think about something good, think of the moment when you decided you wanted to be Jedi. This threw a wrench into his concentrations, the seed of doubt that had been planted in his mind beginning to sprout, Kenth uncertain of whether he had ever wanted to become a Jedi. But he steeled himself, desperately focusing on the light inside of him.

His eyes opened and he finally looked down into his palm, noticing the glint of something hovering in his hand, like the reflection off a shard of broken glass. It was small, but it was something, prompting the padawan's eyes to widen in amazement.

He had done it.

The Force was with him.

Desbre Gensan | Jend-Ro Quill | Aveline Cuiléin | Kaleleon ​

 

[Aveline Cuiléin]

The light is unlimited. Imbue. Heal. Beacon. Calm.

So much potential. So much... Time spent. Not a flicker of light came out of Aveline's palm. How long had she stood like this, staring intently at her own skin, expecting it to behave any differently than it had the past near two decades.

There was no shortage of fond memories. Motivation for becoming a Jedi. Moments when she had touched the life of someone condemned to darkness, and raised them out of it... Yet, behind ever memory lingered a hidden demon of the dark. In every memory of her mentor, who had been present in some way or other in each of her successes, there was the shadow of his death. He had met an untimely end. Her heart blamed her for it, even if her mind dared not. His voice haunted her. No, not only him... Even before him there had been something about her. Something wrong. Something inadequate.

Her fist clenched. Seeking a distraction, she looked sideways to Kenth Ordo . At least she wasn't the only one struggling to... Oh motherkarker. A light definitely manifested itself from within his palm. That little piece of... No, calm Aveline. She took a deep breath. And... Light. Light. Oh for feth's sake. She wanted to punch a wall so bad. Too bad she wasn't standing next to one. Then her eyes turned to right...

...If anyone but Des had succeeded in her place, Aveline's anger would likely have found further fuel. But no, she was happy, how own failures diminished and forgotten in that moment. "You're doing amazing!" She encouraged, blushing immediately as she realized she hadn't whispered. Kark, the whole point was to not draw too much attention to herself.

However, looking upon Des' face... Had she cried? No longer concerned about disapproving glances from the class teacher or the other wise Jedi in the room, she moved closer to her friend. She placed a comforting arm upon her shoulder. "Hey, you good?" This time she took care to keep her tone hushed.

Auteme | Kaleleon | Kenth Ordo | Jend-Ro Quill | Desbre Gensan​

 

[Auteme]

Kenth Ordo Desbre Gensan Aveline Cuiléin Jend-Ro Quill Kaleleon ​

Auteme wandered through the class. For a time she kept to herself, giving her students the space they needed. They needed to learn for themselves, right? As much as she loved her days in the library she couldn't learn everything from books. Some things were beyond science, history, writing. Experience, emotion, memories -- qualia. She zoned out for about a minute as she went on a long mental tangent about the arguments around consciousness.

That train of thought was ended when the first lights came to the students. One, two... she waited, watching the other students in search of the same. But there wasn't. There was no flooding illumination she'd been expecting. Perhaps they needed a little more time, but she felt her heart drop a little.

She took a deep breath. Not everyone had the capacity -- as much as she believed it to be an ability anyone could learn, for some it came quicker than others. For her it'd been a product of natural affinity and hours upon hours of practice. It was probably the only thing she'd 'trained' in outside of channeling the Force to heal.

She could be happy with the few successes there were now. The first was Kenth Ordo; perhaps a bit unorthodox given his background, but it was clear to her that he'd dedicated himself to the Jedi way. What she'd said earlier was true -- there was a little light in everyone. His was strong and still growing. Here it'd already begun to take shape, literally. While a ball was a simple enough thing to shape she was impressed that he'd had the instinct to make it without guidance.

"Well done, Kenth. Keep practicing. Search for those emotions, memories, things that can let you bring it out whenever you need. It's always with you, but sometimes it can be difficult to find." She gave an encouraging smile, then started towards the next Jedi who'd managed to produce her light.

It was clear that the Arkanian woman was a different situation entirely. Sadness, pain, failure, worry -- the emotions rolled off her in waves. Even so, she'd brought out a light. There was a strength in that.

Auteme approached, stopping in front of the pale woman. She put her hands out just under the padawan's. There was so much there. Complicated, jumbled, messy, but light nonetheless.

"Just before I became a Jedi," she said, guessing at what had set off the chain of emotions the Arkanian had felt, "My mentor and guardian, a man who'd I'd been with for over twelve years -- he left. He didn't really tell me why. I don't know where he is. And I miss him dearly.

"When I bring out the light, often I think of him. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I went with him. If it was me, if I could've done something different. But then I think about every time he picked me up when I fell, told me a story, taught me something new. Light, and what it represents, can't exist without people. It can't exist without you, or everyone who's been kind and good to you. There's light everywhere. Being able to see it, well -- that's a kind of strength that's genuine, better than any other. And I think you've got that strength." She smiled again. "You're doing great."

Perhaps she wasn't the most experienced of teachers, but Auteme always strived to be kind and honest. It was something she'd learned from that man who had taught her to see the good in all things.

She glanced to the other padawan who'd come to comfort the Arkanian. "Don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it."

 

[Desbre Gensan]

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Location: Name​

Equipment: Simple Jedi Robes, inherited lightsaber, light-filtering lenses​

Tag: Auteme | Aveline Cuiléin | Kenth Ordo | Kaleleon​

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Des stared at the simple ball of light in her hands. She'd done it, though it wasn't as good as she wanted. But it was there. The pain eased a little as she focused on the memory of her grandmother. The way she smiled, that little nod of approval and knowing smile, the way her eyes danced when she was happy and proud.

She could only hope that her grandmother was watching somewhere within the Force. And that she was proud, and approved. And that one day her grandfather might as well. The light dimmed a little as her determination wavered, but then Auteme was right there. Her attention shifted to the other woman slightly as a couple tears tried to fall free, but she quickly wiped them away.

The effort didn't make a lick of difference as Auteme told Des the story of her teacher and when he left. Her mind immediately went to her first teacher. He'd left in much the same way, only she didn't have that much time. When it happened it felt as though she had broken some unspoken rule. But as the story and how it tied in, how Auteme drew on everything she could to bring forth that Light. Des nodded, eyes closing.

Aveline's hand landed on her shoulder, asking if she was okay. That little bit of concern, that bit of caring right then was almost more than Des could handle. But it was cleansing in its own way. Slowly she shook her head. "No," she choked out, "... but I will be. One day." Reaching up she squeezed Aveline's hand with her free one. The light had dimmed more until it was trying to flicker out.

It was hard not to despair with the things that had befallen her already. But her mind went back to the day when she had decided to return to the Order after floating between star systems for months.. with nothing but a bottle to keep her company. She'd determined then to complete her training. She would not let all that had come before, especially the sacrifices made, be in vain. No matter how much it hurt.

Des closed her eyes, and for a moment leaned against her fellow padawan, only to draw upright. Taking a breath she renewed her concentration. Then called up Brandyn's face in her mind's eye. He was approximately the same age, but somber and serious. She remembered reporting to the shuttle they would take to Kinooine. Finding out he was to be her teacher. She'd been so bright-eyed then, and eager. Excitement. Adventure. Those first lessons and how they went. They were seared into her mind anyway, with as often as she reviewed them. But this time it was different. There'd been a connection there, and maybe that scared him off. Nevertheless, she focused on his small smile when she got something right. Or even picked up on his teaching quickly. When she first learned to move things with her mind. Rudimentary and instinctual at first. All of those little moments.

She thought of the other padawan on that trip and the friend she'd made. Sharing a meal. Even when the grav plating on the shuttle went out and ruined a meal she'd made and a bunch of art. It had taken hours to clean the galley area up. But in a way, it was a great memory. Her mind turned to her second teacher. It still made her smile the way she saw through the woman's overly-cheerful, chipper demeanor. Trying to "fake it" just to hopefully be more approachable. It caused a rocky start, but Des had set a no nerfcrap expectation. But when the woman realized Des was not being disrespectful, for a time things had been better. Miss K was an apt teacher and had taught Des much in a short time as well. Then there was finding the quiet retreat high up in the mountain. Lots of good moments there.

Flying, racing, making a friend smile with a silly drawing. The moment she'd first gotten the saber passed to her to ignite. Stealth training on at the Rest. As many memories and good things she could dredge up, she did. Focusing on the good parts, the positive parts, light contrasting dark. Touching on the Force once more, she began to pour that into the space between her hands, where the ball was. It flickered, then began to brighten and brighten. It began to turn from golden to paler, eventually turning white. Lines formed on the ball, graceful, symmetrical arcs that then began to peel away in petals until the ball bloomed into a crystalline form that appeared at once like a saucer-sized snowflake and at the same time like a crystalline lotus blossom. A smile spread across her face as she focused on the image in her hands. An iceblossom from home, one of the specialties of her grandmother. A moment later she let her imagination and memory meld, and tiny little motes of light joined the blossom, only for its petals to begin breaking off, lifting into the air, swirling in a slow spiral upward on an invisible wind, fading as they reached a meter or so in height until the Light was gone.

Folding her hands together, Des let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, then seemed to sag in her seat. She looked... almost exhausted, and emptied. Idly she wiped at her face again, her hand shaking visibly.

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