The Lion King
Hey, guys. For the record, I'm unsure where a topic like this would go but I figured the LOA section made the most sense.
Earlier today, shortly after noon CEST, my father passed away. I only learned about it after work when my mom called and asked me to come visit, around 5pm. I don't know what it was, but I had this eerie feeling all day today that something was wrong.
My dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer back in 2014. At first only he and mom knew about it, and they only told me and my two siblings six months later after the Holidays, in January 2015. Dad told us he did not want us telling anyone outside of the family; not our friends, not post something on social media, or whatever. So we kept it under wraps for several years, all up until today. I felt honorbound to uphold his wishes, so I've literally told no-one since that day.
My father was a real man's man, who started working at age 14 and became self-sufficient at age 16. He dropped out of the Swedish equivalent of high school because he was already able to make a living for himself. He's always been a big, physically strong man since his late teens, and he knew how to do or fix anything; from fixing cars to refurbishing rooms to building our porch and later our swimming pool. But above all he was very kind and gentle towards us and people in general.
I've idolised him all my life. Other than him having been a smoker since he was 12, I loved everything about the man. He joined the army back in -76, and so did I in 2011; while I did so on my own terms, there was always a part of me that felt I did it to make him proud. To follow in his footsteps. He was always supportive of anything I did, especially my music.
For the first two years since we learned he had cancer, everything was fine. He kept working like nothing happened and didn't feel anything. Then last year he started having trouble swallowing his food and would get these weird hiccups. So he went to the hospital to get it checked out, only to find that the tumor in his stomach had grown to the point where it would stop him eating. So he had his first surgery shortly after, and they removed all the tumors they could find. After a month or so of rest, he was back to normal.
Then earlier this year he started to get really bad, rather suddenly. Another check-up at the hospital told us the cancer had returned, this time settling in his spine. He would feel sudden spikes of pain in his back and legs, and he could no longer resume his duties at work. So he was bedridden for several months, only getting up to have breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I moved out of my parents' house in late April and moved in with my best friend since childhood; we've known each other for 18 years, and I'm only 26. I'd gotten steady work and a month later I bought my first car. I became self-sufficient for the first time in my life, a decade later in life than my dad. One day when I visited my parents for family dinner my father was missing. Mom told me he'd gotten so bad she had to send him to a home for the elderly because she could not care for him the way he needed to be taken care of. This was about a month ago.
I visited my dad after work several times, but each time proved more difficult. There was barely anything left of him, he'd just wasted away and he could not even get out of bed if he tried. The last time I saw him was last Friday, 3 August 2018, and he could hardly speak. I knew then he did not have much longer, so I just sat by his bedside and held his hand for hours.
When mom summoned me home today she told me that dad had passed away. She got a call from the nurses telling her it was his time so she went into town to keep him company during his final hours, holding his hand as he slowly fell asleep. I'm told it was painless and peaceful. He deserved it after a lifetime of hard work so the rest of us would not want for anything.
I'm sorry if this dragged on a bit, I just needed to write it all down mostly to make sense of it myself. As you might imagine, the whole family is pretty devastated by his passing.
I've been a member of this site for just about 5 years now, and it takes something really special to keep my interest for so long. This site, however silly it may seem, has become a home away from home, and you guys have become my second family. And because you're family, I felt I should tell you guys what's going on. Informing you all just now has also allowed me to work out a bit of grief, so thank you to those who stayed and read the whole thing.
I don't believe this will impact my activity on the site, however. I don't have any threads going at the moment anyway, and any set to go up I will still participate in.
Also, if you have a father figure in your life, please go tell him in person or call him and tell him that you love him. Cherish every day you have together, as I did with my father.
Earlier today, shortly after noon CEST, my father passed away. I only learned about it after work when my mom called and asked me to come visit, around 5pm. I don't know what it was, but I had this eerie feeling all day today that something was wrong.
My dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer back in 2014. At first only he and mom knew about it, and they only told me and my two siblings six months later after the Holidays, in January 2015. Dad told us he did not want us telling anyone outside of the family; not our friends, not post something on social media, or whatever. So we kept it under wraps for several years, all up until today. I felt honorbound to uphold his wishes, so I've literally told no-one since that day.
My father was a real man's man, who started working at age 14 and became self-sufficient at age 16. He dropped out of the Swedish equivalent of high school because he was already able to make a living for himself. He's always been a big, physically strong man since his late teens, and he knew how to do or fix anything; from fixing cars to refurbishing rooms to building our porch and later our swimming pool. But above all he was very kind and gentle towards us and people in general.
I've idolised him all my life. Other than him having been a smoker since he was 12, I loved everything about the man. He joined the army back in -76, and so did I in 2011; while I did so on my own terms, there was always a part of me that felt I did it to make him proud. To follow in his footsteps. He was always supportive of anything I did, especially my music.
For the first two years since we learned he had cancer, everything was fine. He kept working like nothing happened and didn't feel anything. Then last year he started having trouble swallowing his food and would get these weird hiccups. So he went to the hospital to get it checked out, only to find that the tumor in his stomach had grown to the point where it would stop him eating. So he had his first surgery shortly after, and they removed all the tumors they could find. After a month or so of rest, he was back to normal.
Then earlier this year he started to get really bad, rather suddenly. Another check-up at the hospital told us the cancer had returned, this time settling in his spine. He would feel sudden spikes of pain in his back and legs, and he could no longer resume his duties at work. So he was bedridden for several months, only getting up to have breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I moved out of my parents' house in late April and moved in with my best friend since childhood; we've known each other for 18 years, and I'm only 26. I'd gotten steady work and a month later I bought my first car. I became self-sufficient for the first time in my life, a decade later in life than my dad. One day when I visited my parents for family dinner my father was missing. Mom told me he'd gotten so bad she had to send him to a home for the elderly because she could not care for him the way he needed to be taken care of. This was about a month ago.
I visited my dad after work several times, but each time proved more difficult. There was barely anything left of him, he'd just wasted away and he could not even get out of bed if he tried. The last time I saw him was last Friday, 3 August 2018, and he could hardly speak. I knew then he did not have much longer, so I just sat by his bedside and held his hand for hours.
When mom summoned me home today she told me that dad had passed away. She got a call from the nurses telling her it was his time so she went into town to keep him company during his final hours, holding his hand as he slowly fell asleep. I'm told it was painless and peaceful. He deserved it after a lifetime of hard work so the rest of us would not want for anything.
I'm sorry if this dragged on a bit, I just needed to write it all down mostly to make sense of it myself. As you might imagine, the whole family is pretty devastated by his passing.
I've been a member of this site for just about 5 years now, and it takes something really special to keep my interest for so long. This site, however silly it may seem, has become a home away from home, and you guys have become my second family. And because you're family, I felt I should tell you guys what's going on. Informing you all just now has also allowed me to work out a bit of grief, so thank you to those who stayed and read the whole thing.
I don't believe this will impact my activity on the site, however. I don't have any threads going at the moment anyway, and any set to go up I will still participate in.
Also, if you have a father figure in your life, please go tell him in person or call him and tell him that you love him. Cherish every day you have together, as I did with my father.
Vila i frid, pappa!
1956-2018†
