On The Topic of RP Commitment

[Tanith Alde]

This isn't meant to sound judgmental but, It's probably going to come across as such. I apologize in advance.


Who has had this scenario before: You make plans with someone, and start to do a thread or some such thing with them, only to have them either drop out on you, or completely change plans on you. Or even worse, to commit to an ideal or relationship in an rp, and then turn arround and make the exact same promise to someone else?

At what point does this stop being a 'complex person' and start simply being someone that writes characters on a whim and uses and discards other writers at the wayside?



Edit: Yeah it's based on a personal expirience of mine. The person involved is no longer a member of this site.

 

[Ax'no]

I don't feel like it's judgmental, but you have to remember that story-lines are very fluid. Something could happen to your character in one thread that affects other threads, and at times, it no longer makes sense to continue that RP.

Even though Chaos is very addictive, this is a hobby at the end of the day with limited time for it. There are some amazing writers on this board that I'm dying to RP with, but I may never get around to it because we can only commit to so many threads.

At the end of the day this has happened to all of us. I try to be forgiving when someone drops out on me or takes an LOA vs. considering them flaky or unreliable.

 

[Jsc]

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"]

Frustration.

Yeah. We know how you feel. But what you're discribing happens all the time. Sometimes its us doing the talking. Other times it's others doing the leaving. RP is a game. Silly, whimsy, and tropical. Or it can be real. Deep and heavy, with strong cords being pulled all around. And if that seems strange, just think about it. Writing is just writing. It can be whatever we want it to be. And I don't mean just words on paper either. Writing can be an attitude. A perspective. A way of thinking. Things like that.

Look. I could talk about how diverse this community is forever. I could talk about how or ages are different, our styles, our colors, and our melodious opinions too. Everybody wants something. Something different. Something new. Something that drives them or makes them forget. Drama that consumes their boredom. A fight to make them feel alive. A new connection that makes their life more social. All of these things are people. Just people.

Just a game.

Nah. I wouldn't worry about other people [member="Elizabeth Verdan"] . You can't control other people. Can't shame them or change them. Can't wish them into acting differently or into being more genuine. You can't make a person like you. Can't make them keep their promises or revile against them when they don't. RP isn't that kind of game. We don't have to be that kinda people.

Worry about what you can change. Think about IRL. Think about why you came here and what you want from RP. Think about things that inspire you. Make you grow. Make you better. ...Don't worry about other people. Just worry about you.

Or don't. It's what-evz.

Here's wishing you the world and a toast to new beginnings. Cheers! Go knock em' dead gal. Because at the end of the day. It's you. You're in control. So do what moves you.

 

[Ax'no]

So well put [member="Jay Scott Clark"]

And sometimes it does get emotional (if you are that kind of writer). I've had story-lines which I absolutely adored that died on the vine. But you mourn it, be grateful you got the chance to write with a talented writer who, with mere words alone, was able to affect you so profoundly and and then continue on with more RP.

 

[Tanith Alde]

[member="Jay Scott Clark"] [member="Briga Tiin"]


While I can understand that, my biggest issue is this.

How can you trust someone that agrees to something ahead of time, say a relationship, and then not only abandons you as a writer, but then goes on to start something with a completely different person with no prior warning or even communication between you and them? And then when you broach the topic said person portrays you as the one at fault?

 

[Ax'no]

In this certain circumstance it sounds like there was a lack of communication which does seem unfair. In my experience with Chaos, this doesn't happen much. Most writers will be more communicative and open to dialogue about their storylines.

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"]

 

[Gavin XIII]

It's annoying when it happens. More so if you tend to communicate with the person a lot OOCly. Planning itself doesn't make the story happen, but once the thread is there... Basically, I expect the other person to tell me if I fucked something up before whatever I planned with them sinks into oblivion. A lot of times, they don't.

Sorry it happened to you. v_v

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"]

 

[Tanith Alde]

[member="Gavin XIII"] [member="Briga Tiin"]


http://starwarsrp.net/topic/75102-tracking-wedding-rings/

 

[Jsc]

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"]

Trust them? Oh, come on Lizzy. You sound like a ten year old who just lost their favorite Popsicle stick. *shakes head*

Besides, [member="Briga Tiin"] right. This sounds like a very specific situation. Maybe even a witch hunt. And probably on this board too. Heck, I'm not even sure we should be discussing it publicly. Sorta like waiting around the hangman's noose for the guilty to arrive. Pfft. Kinda wondering when they are bound to just show up and beg for forgiveness or decry a slander.

Look. Trust them, don't trust them. Care, don't care. Whatever man. It's all a game and you're trying to take it personal. Goofy that. As such, I highly recommend you get over it and stop posting threads like this in public. It's uncomfortable for everybody involved and doesn't change anything.

So yeah. Better luck next time.

 

[Judah Lesan]

Yeah it sucks, and happens to all of us. There are many reasons this happens. Some writers promise things and don't follow through because they just don't want to sometimes. It's rare that writers lead other writers on, but that happens too. Whatever happened just remember that if you got slighted then that writer isn't worth your time.

 

[Tanith Alde]

[member="Jay Scott Clark"]

Personally, I believe that's the kind of attitude that adds to the problem


"It's just a game, get over it"


Then why do we come here? We come here to have fun, to enjoy positive emotions and sensations. Getting over it, implies that there should be no positive or negative connotations added to participating in it. This isn't a game that can be reset, it's a story. It's more than a game. We come together here to write stories, make friendships and enjoy eachother's presence.

By what you've just written, it's heavily implied we should act numb and ignore every sensation one has.


You can't be happy about a thread here according to that, but you can't be sad about it either. That defeats the entire purpose...

 

[Jsc]

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"]

Stop. You're taking a tiny thing and expanding it to the largest proportions that you believe match your emotional distress right now. It's called, over-doing it.

Look. I'm sorry. You're emotional. You're feeling betrayed and vulnerable. Your story, nah, your passion, lies in tatters about your imagination and you want somebody to tell you it will all be okay. ...But I'm not that guy. And I don't know the facts either. I don't know what happened. I'm just reading and reacting to you. See. I came in here to give you the reassurance that these things too shall pass. Because they will.

Anyway.

I'm out. You're a good person Verdan. You'll be alright IRL. Cheers. We'll talk later.

 

[Loray Tares]

Not really in a position to say what's being over done or not, considering we don't know the full story.

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"]

It sucks. It happens. Vent, get upset about it, step away from writing for a while and take in the stuff you enjoy outside this fictional world. Only way you can move on is by realizing that it's not important enough for you to linger on it. If you can't trust the person to stand by things or fit the level of commitment you are looking for, than move on and avoid writing with them.

Some of us look for a certain level of commitment and honesty in our writing partners. It's not whether this is a tiny thing or not, it's simply what you perceive as important. One persons trash is another's treasure, I suppose.

So basically, what [member="Quint Salis"] said.

 

[Tanith Alde]

[member="Loray Tares"]

Well this all happened about five months back. The person since left the site and I've wanted to talk about it now

 

[Rianna Organa]

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"] - I've had it happen more times than I can possibly remember, and yeah it is disheartening.

I usually change characters focus on them and when I can go back to the other.

Something like this happened to a friend of mine in the last few months, and in response I wrote this maybe something in there will help. Be well.

 

[Kenrath]

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"]


Happens to me about twice a week. In the beginning it sucked and i am not at all embarrassed to say i took it personally.



A year later I shrugged it off no harm no foul. It is just the price of doing RP.

 

[Rusty]

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"]

It's one of those things where you have to learn to let go, or it's gonna eat at you.

People stop writing for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they get bored, or angry, or distracted, or busy, or a hundred different other things, sometimes all at once. And if there's one thing I've learned in my time on Chaos, whatever the reason may be, you'll be the last to know. With a precious few exceptions, we're all just words on a screen to one another. Maybe you talked on Skype a bit, maybe you've got a face to match to the person, but the Internet creates a barrier between people as much as it helps bring them together.

For some people, that barrier is a curse. They want to get closer to the friends they make online. For others, it's armor. They can safely insulate themselves with it, and if things start going in a direction they don't like, they can just...vanish. They needn't tell you a reason why, and they needn't respond if you ask about it. If it's a big deal to them, they might discuss it with their other friends, but they've no need to address the problem personally.

In an RP environment, it's almost impossible not to get invested emotionally in your characters, your stories, and the friends you make. When someone moves on with nary a word as to why, it can hurt. That's just the price of doing business here. You can't stop it, and once it's done, there's not much that you can do to fix it all on your lonesome. All you can do is decide whether or not you'll accept it as a learning experience, or let it eat at you until you become that sort of person yourself.

The latter isn't necessarily a bad thing, by the way. As much as you might like the people you write with, you own enjoyment and emotional wellbeing have to come first. Otherwise, the game stops being a game. It stops being fun. Being a little selfish isn't always bad, so long as you don't take it to extremes.

 

[Tanith Alde]

To Everyone in this thread.


I want to thank you all for your kind words and recommendations.


I totally agree with you, I'm overreacting to this. I want to apologize to all of you for wasting your time, but just know I do appreciate it.

 

[James Justice]

[member="Elizabeth Verdan"]

I know how it feels, I really do and it burns pretty bad. James Justice has had a string of Player Character girlfriends, and honestly its not because I didn't enjoy writing with any of them, or that he was intentionally going to dump them, it was that they left. One went on LOAs that was "going to just be a week" and ended up lasting months. Another work got in the way an they had to pull out. One simply forgot their login info and created a new account--only to dissapear again. Those are just a few of the many many times that this character fell in love with a Player Character and for one reason or another it didn't work out. And there are also those dozens (literally) of small factions I agreed to help that only had failure to launch.

I know how it feels, I really do; you get so excited over these prospects, you start amping everything up, you work hard and get those juices flowing and then----

kaputz.

dead.

nothing at all.

It is challenging and I do sympathize. What I had to do is learn to reserve my muse, if that makes sense. I am sorry that happens and I know how it feels. Here is to looking at better days and posts in the future.

 

[Dune Rhur]

Oh, I know the feeling quite well. They just stop posting for no apparent reason then ignore your attempts at OOC communication.