Private More Than A Weapon

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Ah, yes, the serenading sounds of sirens blaring in the morning.

Wait.

Gwyneira Craft's eyes flashed open. The Force screamed to her that something was terribly wrong. When she laid eyes the person still sleeping next to her, memory returned to her mind.

Eliz had... gotten into some kind of fight last night. She shot up, looking down at the boy still grimy, crusted over with blood and grey matter. Gwyn had honestly seen worse, but remembering his zombie like, blank weakness last night, she was very worried. She shot over to the window to see the police already entering the hotel. She looked over to the door and darted out, walking out to see a rather brutal sight.

She saw the mutilated corpse of the spice dealer from yesterday, his head just... decimated. She heard stirring and looked back to see Eliz waking up. Gwyn's mind hastily put the pieces together.

How in the galaxy could she get them out of this one? The Empire was brutal against any kind of crime. What-No. Wait. That was it! Gwyneira turned and darted into the bathroom. As she pulled her Aegis of the Watch over her shorts and shirt, she called to Eliz.

"Stay in here. Stay out of trouble. Karabast, take a hot shower, you'll feel leagues better. I'll have this all cleared up and settled. Be right back."

The only rest she seemed capable of getting lately was the in and outs of deep sleep she and Eliz found last night. Huddled close to each other, not even bothering changing into anything comfortable, they had sunk into the bed and into each other's arms. It brought way more joy to her than their far more intimate moments on her ship. Now that she was awake again, she was cast right back into the fray of her mission and the consequences of the previous day. But she knew what to do. As she pulled her helmet over her head, she calmly stepped out of the room and walked over to the corpses.

It was simple, really. This was a spice dealer. She should have taken care of him from the very beginning, instead of trying to negotiate a deal to catch another criminal. So, she took on the roll of a Warden of the Shroud, a loyal Warden of the Shroud, and paraded the event. She made a public display, telling the officers of his many crimes and letting all civilians know that this was what happened to those who disobeyed the laws of their Eternal Empire.

So they best behave like good little citizens and stay away from spice.

With everything out of the way, she returned to the hotel room. With a sigh, she pulled her helmet off as the door closed behind her, "That was surprisingly easy. How are you doing? You showed yet?"

Despite her tone, she was genuinely concerned. She could not get the image of him, vacant and drained, out of her mind. She just wanted to make him better, give him some light in his gorgeous red eyes again. He must have spent all his strength yesterday keeping her safe and somewhat sane.

It was time for her to return the favor.

Eliz Krayt

 

[Eliz Krayt]

Tags: Gwyneira Vizsla

Eliz was in a state between awake and asleep when Gwyn roused him. Even the sirens didn't seem to catch his attention. It was obvious that what he'd done triggered something in him. Horrible memories. It was easier not to feel, not with the things he'd seen done to people. The things he'd done. He simply gave a nod as she told him to shower. He wandered into the bathroom, staring at the man covered in blood.

Oh. Him. His reflection. He stared for a couple minutes before pulling off his clothing to get into the shower. By the time Gwyn would get back he'd still be in there. Eyes closed, letting the water wash over him as if it could cleanse his sins. He didn't respond. He was just.. Elsewhere.

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Gwyn frowned at the lack of response, but she heard the shower running. With deep worry gripping her heart, she recalled so many times in her life when she just shut off and isolated to deal with things.

Gwyneira had spent most of her life alone, yet still needed solitude to process her emotions and deal with any struggles. It was ironic, she was a lightning fast thinker in survival and as an engineer, yet she still required time to deal with her heart.

Was Eliz the same way?

With a sigh, she walked to the kitchen and wiped her face off. She felt filthy, having not showered herself in several days. She washed her face with a towel at least - very needed, as she had some blood on her face herself. She then slapped the rag on the counter and got changed. She slipped into a casual light blue tank top that exposed her stomach and some small, black shorts. To go to a place like Tatooine, she would need to be lightly dressed.

She then got to packing. She pulled all of her holodisks out of machinery, wiped hotel datapad histories, threw all her gear and equipment into bags, and tidied up. And cleaned the blood. She finished scrubbing and tossed all the rags into another bag to either wash or burn on her ship.

Eventually, she found herself in the kitchen tearing out packets of polystarch portion bread. As she watches the tiny packets swiftly rise, she sighed. Unlike Eliz, whose food was worthy of kings, she hardly ever touched cooking or baking. As a child she had been constantly on the move, speeding through schooling and tinkering with any technology she could get her hands on. She had always been happy just shoving heavily processed food into her mouth. For now neglectful as her mother was, she always had tons of sugary factory food in the fridge. So, Gwyn still followed a diet like that into adulthood. She needed to do something worthy of Eliz's taste buds, however, so she hoped that toasting the bread and slathering a basic spread over the top could do it.

This entire time, she had been worried more and more about Eliz. He was always so competent, headstrong and able. The image from last night haunted her, and he had not looked better this morning. Sure, yesterday had been rotten for both of them, but Gwyn could simply tell something far deeper was troubling him.

She wanted to help him. She wanted to scoop into his mind and pull all that junk out. She wanted to make him happy. After everything he had done for her, and after everything they shared, it was undeniable that whatever this emotion was, it was stronger than anything she had felt for anyone ever.

And she would do everything she could to help Eliz in this moment of weakness.


Eliz Krayt

 

[Eliz Krayt]

Tags: Gwyneira Vizsla

It'd be a little while longer before Eliz finally emerged from the bathroom. Very little of his clothing was actually clean after last nights ordeals, so he made use of the provided towels to at least cover himself as he emerged. There was something.. Better about him as he walked into the room, still drying off his hair. His red eyes were still empty, but at least he didn't seem as distant as he had last night.

Gwyn had been a break from his usual train of thought. Death followed him just about everywhere, and helping her to capture people was a welcome relief. Even assaulting the scientist that had insulted her was different from the norm. Fun. But last night just reminded him of who he was. A paid killer, fighting an endless war. It was hard to imagine himself bringing that smile she had back as he was now.

"Hey." It was a slight greeting as he wandered towards the smell of food. He wasn't actually a picky eater and pretty hastily devoured several pieces of the bread in an absentminded fashion. He plopped down on one of the chairs, turning his gaze towards the door. "So, what happens now?"

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Gwyn was tidying things up as Eliz ate. She had a tendency to be sloppy in her own living spaces, but refused to live in a trash heap like her mother had. She even was somewhat neat and orderly. As she turned around, she once again was tickled at him wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around her waistline. She was reminded of how much skin was showing on her herself and turned back to finish washing dishes, visibly blushing and trying to hide it.

Yet, she also felt the lingering worries about him running rampant in her mind. He still wasn't fully there. She struggled. Whenever she was upset she dived into some kind of activity. An engineering project, an art project, a Warden mission, training, heading to the local bar to find another boy... She sighed, right now she was feeling both the desire to help Eliz and the urge to return to that habit. She was an escapist, and she was a coward.

She finished drying the dishes, "We head to Tatooine. The gang is there, and regardless of whether it actually involves the Empire or not anymore, I've got a bad feeling about what they're planning with that thing. I think it would be good to leave as soon as we can. I'm sure we'll both be glad to ditch this putrid planet."

Meanwhile, on the neatly made bed, Aubin snoozed. Several bags and storage bins were all ready to be rolled out and returned to her ship. The relief of leaving this place was splendid to her, and she also realized something else.

"And honestly, it was nonstop yesterday. I'm still tired, and you look half dead. In hyperspace we'll be able to slow down. I usually don't do this, but you can sleep more in my private quarters if you want. Bed's quite comfy."

Then she remembered - saw - that Eliz was wearing so little. She paused, realizing the obvious reason they could not just leave this room yet. She could not help but let her eyes wander for a brief moment when she looked at him, but she rapidly blinked away to make it look like she was not gawking.

But man, she had given him the nickname Edgy McHandsome for a good reason. Except now, she felt something far less... shallow, watching him.

"If you can finish tidying this place up, I'll go buy you an outfit suitable for being outside."



Eliz Krayt

 

[Eliz Krayt]

Tags: Gwyneira Vizsla

Eliz wasn't thinking anything about the amount of skin both were showing. Perhaps in another time this would of brought on it's own blush. Even yesterday there's no way he would just wander out in only a towel. There was something.. Comforting about it. The familiarity. Safety. To him, this was just a sign of how close they were. It was.. Worrying. The doubt was back. Was he really someone that could make her happy?

These thoughts were.. Uncomfortable. Especially mixed with the emptiness.

"Huh?"

The half breed blinked in surprise as Gwyn mentioned her bed. Her.. Bed? They'd never actually gone there. All the time they'd been together, he was never allowed in that room. That.. Made him actually feel pretty excited. This might be a good distraction from his thoughts. He finished off his bread before standing up, nodding quickly. He was ready to go himself. Though, right.

He blushed, looking down at the towel that barely clung to his hips to keep him covered. Quickly Eliz took hold of it to keep it up, nodding. "R.. Right. I'll uh, hang out here."

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Gwyneira could not hide the smirk and narrowed eyes as he looked down to his loose towel and fixed it. She turned to go put her shoes on, also wrapping a shawl around her person, "Really, all that needs done left are your own dishes, wiping down the table and counter, and getting all my stuff to the door. Be sure to pack anything of yours, I didn't want to pack your armor in a way that could ruin it."

As she turned towards the door, she felt like she should say something more. A goodbye, but one that carried these feelings she felt with it. But what? That she would be back and that she... cared about him? Liked him? No. No, those words did not pack the punch. What was this word, and this goodbye, that she was missing? She sighed, "I... Well, I..."

She wanted to slap herself for being so awkward with her words, for once in her life.

"I'll be back, probably in half an hour. Take care of yourself until then. I..."

She shook her head in confusion, then left.

~ ~ ~​

It was easy to find a clothing shop, run down as it was. Under a flickering neon light, she finished buying an outfit and left. As she walked through the street towards the hotel, she blinked in confusion. She should be planning and plotting the next pieces of her mission out right now. She had everything she needed from questioning Cane Caller to do it. But she didn't want to. She just kept thinking about Eliz. Why was she suddenly at a loss of words with him? She craved his closeness, but was unable to find out what word could drive it in. She was unsure of what this feeling even was as a whole. What the netherworld was going on! As she entered the hotel, she trudged towards her, their, room. She paused at the door. Why was she so nervous? She felt like she needed to impress, maybe go flirty and ditzy again? No. No, that wasn't it. This nervousness. She shook her head in confusion and stepped back into the room, holding a bag and two sticks of some kind of edible up.

"I'm back. I also brought you these spicy blue milk cheese sticks, since you like spicy food."


Eliz Krayt

 

[Eliz Krayt]

Tags: Gwyneira Vizsla

Eliz raised a hand slowly in his own farewell to Gwyn. Which, almost had him drop his towel again. His cheeks turned a deep red as he reached down to take hold and keep it from slipping off completely. "R.. Right." Even with how empty he felt, he couldn't help but smile. No, he wasn't empty. Just.. Broken. .. The desire to leave was gone now. He just sat down on the bed beside Aubin, gently patting his friends head.

By the time Gwen got back, Eliz had finished packing up his armor. And just ditched the towel. He wasn't nude, of course. Just, only in his boxers. He tilted his head as she walked in, setting down the snow colored helmet into the box. "Spicy? Awesome." An actual smile formed as he walked over to her, reaching into the bag to take out the cheese sticks so he could start eating. Yeah, he was hungry. Always hungry, really.

"So what kind of clothing did you get for me, anyway?" No, he didn't need to keep being down like he was. He was happy to be around Gwyn. How she acted.. Did she feel the same? They needed to talk about it at some point, but for now.. He stood before her, just grinning down. She'd done so much already, now that he thought about it. Jail was what he should of ended up in. And.. She could of left him here alone.

He didn't want to be the mopey one anymore.

"Something cute?"

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

He was smiling again! He was alright! A smile of joy crossed her face as she answered his questions, "I got this. I think you'll like it."

Once again, her eyes could not avoid his frame as she handed an outfit over. It was a black and white striped shirt, a leather black jacket with a cloth hood, and black pants. She handed the bag over to him once again struggling with her intense yearning. She turned to start throwing bags over her shoulders and back. Once again, she continued to struggle in his presence.

Chaos, this was so much emotion all at once. This craving was killing her!

She nodded to Eliz, "Get dressed and grab some luggage. This'll take multiple trips."




Eliz Krayt

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

[double post please disregard]

 

[Eliz Krayt]

Tags: Gwyneira Vizsla

Eliz was blissfully unaware.

No, that was a lie. He was completely aware. Every turn of her eyes as she pulled out his outfit was causing his heart to beat faster and faster. Should he have.. Found something to wear? Was he distracting her? .. They needed to talk first. That's the only reason why he just started to put on his clothing and ignore the sensation and thoughts that this all brought up. It.. Didn't feel right to think anything without actually talking to her first.

Once he was dressed he started to move the boxes as asked. Why'd she have so much stuff in a hotel room, anyway? Then again, he never had much of his own stuff now that he thought about it. Just his armor, some extra clothing. Nothing more. Eventually he'd start humming a small tune, one his father used to hum. Something slow, yet happy in tune. This was nice. Gone were the thoughts of what he'd done last night, at least for now.

Now, he was just helping a friend. That's all that mattered.

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Gwyneira was happy to silently work with him. As they started moving out, she was already feeling the relief of leaving this trash heep. She was quiet, listening to Eliz hum a tune. It was... nice. No, captivating. He had such a good voice, absentmindedly humming like that. As an artist, she hoped she showed an attraction to the fine things in life. And Eliz certainly checked all the boxes. She tried to be as quiet as she could carrying her stuff, just to listen to his voice.

Eventually, they were at the hanger where her ship was. As disappointed as she was to be unable to listen to Eliz anymore, this place was like home. The clanging of machines, blaring of ship engines, shouting of crew members. She was at ease in places like this. As they loaded their stuff on Gwyn's ship, Mini slipped off the loading deck to greet them. Aubin slipped into the ship, the two hastily packed everything in the cargo hold. Across the cargo hold, some spray painted pictures of this or that were on the walls. She smiled proudly as she set some boxes next to her picture of an Arkanian geneticist's lab. She then turned to Mini, "You know the drill, Mini."

She gave her droid a light pat before the astremech turned and rolled to the cockpit to start things up. Gwyn turned the Eliz and for a moment, felt... bizarrely shy. Like, she had no idea what to say or how. She never felt like this with anyone before, especially boys. She could play boys right into her hand, wrap them around her finger. Acting like a dumb blonde, she could read them and use her intelligence to control everything without them realizing. She had done it to Eliz when they first met.

But Eliz, he was different. She had no desire now to manipulate or use for meager attention. She didn't want to hurt him. And she cared for how he felt, and she wanted him to be happy. It shocked her, as she realized just how shallow and twisted she had been before.

What did it say about what kind of person she was?

She didn't want to think about it.

She offered Eliz a smile and a nod, trying to keep herself going, "The entire ship is yours to roam. Including the private quarters if you want to get more shuteye. I'll get this baby going and we'll finally be off this karabasting planet."

She turned then to follow Mini to the cockpit.

Eliz Krayt

 

[Eliz Krayt]

Tags: Gwyneira Vizsla

They were done before he knew it. He looked around the ship again, for the first time just.. Looking around it. Usually he was just quickly leaving or.. Distracted by Gwyn when they arrived. Now though? He paused by the various bits of art, curious on just what Gwyn enjoyed to paint. He turned his gaze to her as she spoke again. She was smiling, but it wasn't like the smile just last night. Still, he gave a small wave and returned the smile anyway.

"Alright."

Then he left to her bedroom. He stood outside it, just staring at the door. A sudden wave of anxiety washed over him as he let his hand hover over the button that opened it. What.. Was gonna be in there? It was her space. That she protected. There's no way it'd just be a basic room, right? Something important had to be in there. With a held breath he hit the button and stepped in.

To his surprise, it wasn't that abnormal. Or, perhaps, he just expected this. She was a tinkerer, so the holograms, the half finished projects, they all fit. The color scheme really made sense, given the clothing she'd gotten him. Red and black, huh? He stifled a laugh as he plopped down on the bed, leaning back to relax on it. And yet.. There was something off. He noticed it at first, the various bits of art she seemed to have drawn.

One of them stood out above the rest. It was her, but.. It wasn't. Eliz stood up from the bed, stepping over to lift up the picture and study it. .. Gwyn. But.. More Arkanian? His lips thinned into a frown as he stood there, staring at the picture. Was this what she wanted to be?

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Gwyn spent a while in the cockpit, getting the ship set off. She sighed as she took off for the skies. She... was too conflicted. A new kind of guilt was eating her up, alongside her feelings for Eliz. She needed to talk, that much was clear. But he was so tired, and she doubted his head was clear from the disaster he woke up as.

Yet... This was too intense to just ignore.

She already felt a weight slip off her as she left the atmosphere, leaving the planet behind. She leaned against the back of the chair, breathing easier, as she told Mini, "Hit it."

The ship flew off into hyperspace.

With a sigh of relief, she laid her head back and closed her eyes. But there was still more that needed to be done. She... She had a project in the data room that needed done. Yeah. She stood up, patting her loyal astremech as she left. Still, she paused at the bedroom. Actually, her shroudsabers needed more attention. Without thinking much on it, she casually turned and walked to the room. It was really weird when the door opened up to reveal Eliz standing next to her bed.

"Oh." She paused, glancing away. Reaching up and pulling some hair behind her ear, she spoke in a nervous tone, "You're in here after all."

Of course, she had no problem with him being in here. But she had been hoping to distract herself from the agony inside by focusing on a project. Alas, she sighed. No, no that would not do. Here they were, finally alone and with time on their hands. It would be hours before they came out of hyperspace, and the thought of playing hide and seek the entire trip sounded awful.

She reached and rubbed one of her arms, head slightly lowered. Was she bashful? Ashamed? Longing?

"We need to talk."



Eliz Krayt

 

[Eliz Krayt]

Tags: Gwyneira Vizsla

"Yeah, we do." Her timing was fortunate, though, maybe not for the exact conversation she had in mind. Eliz lifted up the picture, a frown plastered on his face. He actually look annoyed as he held it out. "What's this?" There was an anger in his voice, but not the cold kind like when he was usually angry. He was just.. Angry at so many things. Not Gwyn herself, but the world she grew up in that she had to idolize herself as some sort of pure blood.

That anger cracked the frame. He hadn't meant to do that, but he wasn't properly judging his strength either. He set down the picture once he noticed the crack, instead turning to walk towards the Halfbreed and get closer to her.

"Is that really what you wish you were? Some snobby piece of shit pureblood? Why? So you'd be accepted? Wanted? I want you as you are. The annoying girl who cried for my help then immediately gave me sass. The warrior who fights with her mind. The chick who didn't care that I was covered in gore and hugged me anyway. So burn that damn picture before I do." He wasn't yelling, but it was obvious how annoyed he was with this. With a huff he crossed his arms over his chest, his red eyes watching her closely.

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Gwyneira was certainly shocked. She had... forgotten she had left that one out. She was overcome with anxiety as he treated her with anger. She winced, lowering a bit and cowering. Yet, the words tore right through to her, burned her, cut her up, and... refined her.

He wanted her. The way she was. And he was furious that she envisioned herself as something else.

Tears slipped down her cheeks, her lip trembled. She didn't like him being angry, she didn't like the picture, and...

She used the Force and formed a small flame in her hand. Pyrokenesis. She threw the flame at the picture and looked to Eliz.

"Done."

She then blinked for a moment. His descriptions of her swirling around in her head. She took a step closer to him, despite his anger. She had to know. "You really think of me like that?"

The flame from the ashes of the picture dissipated. She breathed heavily, feeling terrified yet so wanting at the same time.

Eliz Krayt

 

[Eliz Krayt]

Tags: Gwyneira Vizsla

Ah, she was tearing up. Eliz's face twisted with regret. He could of said that much, much nicer. Literally any other way would of been better. He felt like he should look away, but he didn't. He watched her. He watched the fire form. He didn't need to look behind to tell she'd burned the thing. Right, she could set fires with her mind. Weird force sorcery crap, was how he pretty much saw it.

But, it was part of her. And that made it beautiful.

His anger was more frustration at this point. He stepped closer as she did, reaching out to take the hand that had been on fire. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you like that. It's.. Obnoxious, how much you're in my head. You're just.." He grumbled, obviously not sure on how to word it. She glanced between her blank eyes before just leaning in to press a quick kiss to her lips.

Well, it was supposed to be quick. The moment he felt that familiar softness he lost himself to it. His shoulders relaxed. His whole demeanor went from annoyed and frustrated to just.. Happy. A hand settled on Gwyn's cheek to keep her close, and after a moment he pulled from the kiss to set his forehead to hers. "I want you to be mine."

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Gwyneira had reacted to the kiss by completely curling into it, wrapping one arm around Eliz's waistline and placing another hand on his chest. The kiss, the gentle touch on her cheek. She had kissed him before, they had done way more than just that. Yet this satisfied her in a way nothing else ever had in her life. When it ended, he placed his forehead on her's and said something that made it all click.

She wanted to be his.

She...

Was this love?

The word was foreign and strange to her. Love. She had never believed she could be loved, and she never tried to earn it. Attention, yes. Achievements and glory, yes. But genuine affection? That had always been beyond her. Her tears doubled, it all clicked. She had so much to say, so much to think on. How would they make this work? She was a Warden of the Shroud, a servant of the Eternal Empire. He was a Chiss Mandalorian, fighting the Maw viciously for a living. How? But she was willing to work for it, sacrifice for it. She realized he meant more to her than anything else

But was she worthy of him? She was a selfish, vain, manipulator. She was hollow. Then again, with Eliz she felt that hollowness filled with something warm, passionate, and sweet.

They could figure everything out. Of course they could. Until then, she had only one response.

"I love you."

She leaned in for another kiss, gentle and delicate, yet full of all the affection and heart she had for him. She was home.

Eliz Krayt

 

[Eliz Krayt]

Tags: Gwyneira Vizsla

Love?

He blinked. Love wasn't something he really.. Knew. At least, not this way. He loved his father. He loved his twin sister. But this feeling.. "I love you too." Even as he tried to figure it out in his mind, his mouth knew the answer immediately. It was.. Horrifying to say. The vulnerability that came with it. The trust in someone else. Anyone else and he doubted he ever could. Yet as he leaned back into the kiss, there was no fear.

Without a second thought he lifted the girl up, shifting towards the bed. "Sleep with me?" He asked the question, but it wasn't anything sexual in nature. He was exhausted, but he didn't want her to leave.

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

The circles under her eyes were telling of how tired Gwyneira was. She slipped deeper into the embrace as Eliz lifted her and nodded wordlessly. For someone so focused on tasks and projects and missions, she was okay putting it all on hold for once. She wanted to stay here forever.

As Eliz lowered her into the bed, she continued to hold his hand as she lifted the blanket for him. The heavy comforter was a lucky buy at one of the first planets she visited after her homeworld fell. She pulled the cover over them both and turned on her side. She wrapped her arms around her lover. Curling up against him, she laid one leg over him and buried her face in neck. She closed her eyes, wanting nothing more than this. She could stay here forever.

"Thank you, Jac'Eli'Zirem."

The words bled with joy, vulnerability, and indeed love. She was going to do everything she could for this man, this amazing man. She would love him, hold him, protect him, and tend to his wounds as much as she possibly could. She hoped she could forever.




Eliz Krayt