Private Heroes Fall

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confrontation //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

One person knew everything. There was one Spy that was better than THE Allyson Locke, and that woman was the cause of one of the greatest governmental downfalls the Light had ever encountered. Allyson never thought she would see Taeli Raaf again. Yet, in such little time, the woman had seen her twice now. Upon returning to the Core, the Spy faced the woman in combat, then as a cover. The words that Taeli spoke to her that day haunted her for the rest of her time afterward. ​

...when you can't decide between your path and the realities are fighting within you... your desires, your true desires, will show you the proper path...​

Time and again, Allyson wondered if the words were purposely put into her mind. It caused so much unsettling in the Corellian's efforts to remain on track with her mission. It didn't help; she was already struggling; her heart and sense of duty were waging war inside of her during that time. Selfish desires had their flames stoked with the words, and in the end, the subconscious of her persona Rae Cooke had won out. Her mind played the moment repeatedly, wondering if she would have been able to allow Ryv to bring harm to the Echani woman. ​

Allyson watched the scene play out in her memory each time, and each time when she tried to change her actions - she couldn't. The blade from the Jedi Knight, always met hers - stopping him and protecting her lover. It was that moment she made her choice, the choice that left her here. Quietly she wondered if the cost was worth the reward. Her heart warmed, feeling the budding bond she felt healing her heart from her broken bindings of the Borleian girl.​

Her footsteps echoed in the hallways leading to the Lady of Secrets' office. Allyson wondered if the woman was expecting her; it seemed far too easy for the former Shadow. Faces looked at her as if they all knew who she was and what crimes she had committed. Was it her guilt at work? A knock and she was allowed in, she stared down her Corellian sister and cleared her throat. ​

"How long did you know?"​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

A light orchestral piece was playing in the background as she worked, something from Naboo or Grizmalt maybe. It was really just something to keep her mind at ease, to keep her in a state of focus and calm. On the desk in front of her was a unique holocron, recently acquired, that she was studying, transcribing the information from the Echani gatekeeper. Parchment lay next to an inkpot filled with dark side energy infused ink, an old fashioned pen that she saved for rune inscribing carefully gliding across...

A knock came at the door and shut off the holocron, sliding it into her desk drawer. She could feel the presence on the other side, and a smile grew on her lips. "Come in," she called out, setting her pen back into the inkpot. Allyson Locke entered the, admittedly, rather sparsely decorated office she kept within the palace on Bastion. With the approaching New-Imperials, the office at Stormvale was being moved to Genesia and the manor itself was being sold, so for now, there were boxes of books and scrolls tucked away on one wall from the move.

"Your identity? The moment I saw your face," came her reply, gesturing for Allyson to take the seat across from her. "That you loved Adriana Fortemps ? When you defended her so vehemently from Djorn."

A tea set levitated over from another table, pouring out a cup each of Bastion Black Tea.

"This has been a long time coming, Miss Locke," she continued saying. "This talk between you and I."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confrontation //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

It was as Allyson had suspected, Taeli, who had access to some of the most private files in the SIS, knew who she was the moment she walked in the door. It was her own fault, she shouldn't have gone in without a disguise and a dossier of a cover that kept her out of the Lady of Secrets' way. Still, the chicken feed that was given to her by base intel agents led her to believe that Jorryn had been a prime target to manipulate as an asset. The tables had been easily turned, and Allyson fell headfirst into the honey pot presented. ​

​

Taking the seat that was offered, Allyson made a note of the room being boxed up. The New Imperial Order was on Bastion's footsteps, and Allyson felt guilt sit in the pit of her stomach. It surprised her just as much as the next thing that came from Taeli's lips. An eyebrow raised as the Corellian took the tea that was offered as well. "You knowing who I was, makes sense." Looking at the tea, she contemplated foul play from the other woman but figured there was no sense of ill intent, sipping the tea she nodded. It was good, but the woman was biased toward the tea made by the Lord Inquisitor. "For my feelings towards Jorryn that day, I was doing my job." ​

​

Allyson paused and used the tea to mask the reason why she hesitated. Her mind needed to organize her thoughts; at that time, Allyson knew she felt something towards the silver-haired woman, yet love hadn't entered her mind. Denial was a strong emotion, and Allyson felt her brow furrow as the faintest hint of a blush crossed her soft, freckled cheeks. Setting the cup down, the Corellian cleared her throat and continued to deny her affections publicly about the haughty Lord Inquisitor.​

​

"Jorryn was my asset, I needed to retain the trust she had in me, and as her assistant, I chose to obtain that trust by defending her against someone attacking her." Ever so chivalrous, the Corellian was. She didn't look at Taeli for a moment letting the answer hang for the time being. Finally, viridescent met amber as the Corellian lifted her gaze back towards her company. "It has, hasn't it. We have so much history together, yet I don't think I've ever sat across from you in any setting." There was a still residual hatred for the woman that sat across from her. Allyson felt it burning deep within her chest, yet it was quieted knowing that Taeli could have outed her. ​

​

If the woman had done that, Allyson wouldn't have seen the light of day. Closing her eyes, she exhaled, trying to calm the storm within her heart and nodded. "I want to know why you didn't arrest me that day. I knew you recognized me, I could feel it and see that little glimmer in your eye. Having me attached to the Lord Inquisitor was dangerous for the Empire." Allyson was confused by the woman's actions, but she continued, "Letting me into your systems was not a good plan, Taeli. You know how I am with Mechu Deru…" Taeli knew; the entirety of the SIS knew, the Jedi looked down on it, yet they all needed her because of it.​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Allyson Locke

"It's odd how quickly someone you view as an asset or someone you are interacting with as a job can become someone infinitely more important," Taeli replied, giving Allyson a look that said she wasn't buying the denials. Taeli glanced over to a picture that was sitting behind her desk, one showing Fiolette and their girls on Genesia. She had met her wife on a simple business meeting, just a discussion between two CEOs about their companies working together and well... things had escalated quickly.

"And what, exactly, did you truly gain from the terminals you accessed that was critical to the functioning of this empire, Allyson?" she asked, tilting her head. Her tea cup came up to her lips, but she didn't take the sip yet. "Names and faces of important figures within the Empire? Revealing to the SIA who the new leader of our foreign intelligence unit is?"

Lips quirked up in slight amusement.

"No, Allyson, your access to our information network, such as it was, was not a concern for me. Your closeness to Jorryn was not a concern for me either, not after our little meeting on Metalorn. And I'll give you three reasons why I didn't have you seized." She took the sip of tea and set the cup back down, holding up three fingers. "Number one, the whole dynamic between you and Jorryn was fascinating to see and I knew that, with your feelings, there was only so much you would be willing to expose of her and the Saaraishash to the SIA, none of critical importance, because you wanted to protect her. Number two, by posing as a mere assistant and private in the Legion, you purposefully kept your profile low but that also meant your ability to gain information was limited as well."

Two fingers dropped, leaving one more.

"Number three... you are a savant when it comes to mechu deru, I know that. Your SIS file was quite clear on the value they placed on your ability to access computer networks of the First Order and Sith, and the New Jedi Order tolerated it because it was useful to their crusade. Did you know that Omai Rhen and Coren wanted to ban the practice outright, along with a few others, but a bookish Jedi Master in charge of the Jedi Inquisitors said all abilities should be explored, should be allowed to flourish as long as there were proper guides."

Her finger came down, running along the rim of her cup.

"No one has ever appreciated your gift. They've forced you to subdue it, to hide it. To only use it in certain situations. I find that intolerable. You have such a wonderful power, one that many could never comprehend, and you've been force to oppress its true potential. You have such potential and I will admit I was curious and intrigued."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confrontation //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

Taeli Raaf was a mastermind, and Allyson knew this. She kept a guard up around the woman as she sipped her tea casually, somewhat longing for the tea she had on Dantooine. From what she remembered, it was an Eshan blend, but that was most of what she remembered about the tea specifically. Eyes fluttered as she listened to Taeli explain why Allyson had been allowed to continue her work despite the Lady of the Sith, knowing her intentions and identity.​

​

As Taeli recounted, Allyson took another sip of her tea. A part of her felt played and predictable. The notion that she was this perfect soldier, the ideal spy, started to diminish in the Corellian ego. Allyson worked so hard to build up her reputation to the point where she was revered among her peers in the Alliance. Yet, here she was being read like an open book with her intentions of being just an assistant to the Lord Inquisitor.​

​

The cup found its place as Taeli finished. Allyson quite didn’t understand the fascination of her relationship with Jorryn to the Sith woman. Was it entertaining to watch because it was a coincidence? Or was the Inquisitor set before her because Taeli knew Allyson better than she knew herself? An uncomfortable feeling came over the younger woman as she averted her eyes from the other woman in the room. In the Corellian’s mind, wheels turned over her previous covers and how they had worked their way up in the ranks. At one point, her cover Adele had been near the head of the Internal Affairs office of the Zweihander Union. Complete access to a system even with her Mechu Deru was always the top priority, why had she settled for a lowly role as an assistant?​

​

Knowing that Taeli knew what had been going on, there as no reason to pretend anymore. “You’re right. After my first night meeting, Jorryn, I abandoned my usual methods.” Allyson returned her attention back to the other Corellian and nodded. There had been something almost familiar with Jorryn, something that had drawn Allyson like a moth to a flame. It was almost embarrassing how the Echani woman had wrapped the Jedi around her finger.​

​

Allyson nodded, agreeing with Taeli’s assessment of her skills. “Mechu Deru is pretty frowned upon among the Jedi. Its roots in the Dark Side of the Force scares some. But with my own research into the skill and actually using it - it depends on the intent. But try explaining that to zealous believers.” Allyson frowned, remembering her restrictions and the looks she would receive from other Jedi. Yet they were quick to use her in the field, despite their dislike for what she could do. Shaking her head, Allyson remembered how zealous Coren was, the same man who chopped off his arm because a Sith had touched him.​

​

Figuring the bookworm, Jedi was Taeli herself, Allyson smiled and nodded. “Thank you for keeping them from banning it. If they would have banned it, Force knows what would have happened to me.” Musing about it, Allyson figured she might have retired or would have become a freelancer of sorts. Either way, it was a path that was not traveled, no reason to dwell on it. There was one thing she did dwell on, though.​

Allyson did her best to hide the concern in the voice; the last thing she needed was Taeli to know that her heart indeed did lie with the Lord Inquisitor. “Jorryn.” She started and bit her lower lip out of habit when it came to nerves. Allyson Locke could pretend to be anyone, but her small ticks still existed. “It was quite fortunate for the Empire that she would be the one that I encountered - seeing that she fulfilled um.” The Corellian showing a moment of nerves as she chuckled lightly and bashfully stared at the tea.​

​

“She was essentially my type. You and I both know that attraction and emotions are a powerful tool - was Jorryn placed on Dantooine on purpose...was my meeting her orchestrated by you and the Saaraishash?” Allyson’s hand that rested in her lap gripped the fabric of her pants tightly till her knuckles turned white. She wanted the answer, but then also didn’t. Still, even if the Echani was a honey pot, Allyson could feel the truth in the feelings of their bond, which Rae had created on their first night together.​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Allyson Locke

Amethyst eyes twinkled in amusement as Allyson gave up all pretenses in denying her feelings for the Lord Inquisitor. It really didn't advance their conversation when they both knew exactly what those feelings were, although she was sure the younger woman had formed a litany of excuses beforehand that was now gone.

"I could tell you how I had your SIS file analyzed and dissected to determine the perfect trap for you," she said. "I could tell you that ancient techniques of the Force and dark side showed me the opportune individual that could ensnare your heart and soul. I could tell you that Jorryn agreed to seduce you, that Vaylin endorsed the mission even though it meant their relationship would be strained. I could tell you that myself and the Emperor schemed on how to draw out the Master Spy of the GA, used our extensive networks to plant seeds and breadcrumbs for you to follow...

"But it would all be a lie."

She gave her a genuine smile, taking a sip of her tea. "I had absolutely nothing to do with you and Jorryn meeting or anything that occurred or developed afterwards. All of that is between you and her. Did I see an opportunity after the fact? Certainly, but I never once mentioned your identity to her or to anyone else. You needed to see what you could have for yourself."

She set her tea back down, refill her cup from the pot.

"Your infiltration meant I could do multiple lessons at once, for you and for my new Lord Inquisitor, and never once utter a word until after. She gains a valuable lesson in learning to be on guard. You learn to start following your heart, and it had been my hope, that you realized you could have so much more than the life the Jedi and Alliance had, for lack of a better term, used you for."

From the boxes behind her, a book started floating over to sit on the desk in front of Allyson. The title would say it all: Treatise on the Advancement of Mechu-Deru. A translated copy from the original High Sith scrolls, but it would be a start for her... if she merely reached out for it.

"A gift for you."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confrontation //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

At the beginning of Taeli's answer, Allyson felt her heart sink to her stomach, and as she continued, her heart sunk even farther. Allyson's biggest fears realized as she had assumed she fell victim to a honey pot method. To think Jorryn had manipulated her into falling and betraying her friends, it began to drive the Corellian insane. Though, when Allyson glanced back up, she saw the smile. Instinct told her it was genuine as the truth was revealed. ​

​

Allyson felt the relief wash over her, destroying any ounce of her composure that she was holding with the facade. Emotions were too much for the Corellian. She always maintained that doubt despite the feeling that she gleaned from the bond she and the Echani shared. Insecurities clung deep, sinking their claws into her heart, wondering if this happiness was real. To hear that it was and not something manipulated by the Sith, nearly brought the Corellian to tears. She didn't cry, though, just hid behind the teacup that was brought to her face to take a sip. ​

​

It had given her enough time to calm her heart's rapid beating, regaining her lost composure. Attention focused elsewhere in the conversation as Taeli brought up the point of these lessons. Lessons? What sort of lessons was these? Arching an eyebrow, Allyson tilted her head slightly and pressed her lips together in thought. The question didn't need to be asked, as the woman decided to dive into them. Each woman had been an example to the other, Jorryn represented happiness that Allyson could obtain without being ashamed of her work. At the same time, Allyson was a warning to the Lord Inquisitor. ​

​

Her brow furrowed at the lesson that Jorryn had to learn, "You won't have to worry about Jorryn." The teacup found its way onto the table, "I won't let anything happen to her or jeopardize her position and the Saaraishash." There was weight to her words, Allyson was fiercely loyal to the Echani, more so than she had come to comprehend. The thought of anything or anyone getting in the way flared the fire behind her gaze. ​

​

The thoughts of how she was going to accomplish her promise were dissipated by the floating book, Allyson looked at it and once more tilted her head. Never genuinely having anyone teach her the skills of Mechu Deru, the Corellian had to feel her way and develop her own style with the Force power. Trial and error were her methods, but to have some sort of guidance felt foreign to her. Allyson was a bit concerned about the Lady of Secrets's slight obsession with fostering the former Shadow's affinity to Mechu Deru. Allyson reached out and grabbed the book as it hovered in front of her. Looking at it, she quickly questioned. ​

​

"A book? On Mechu Deru? Thank you." Another eyebrow raise as she looked at the woman, suspiciously, "Why?"​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Allyson Locke

"Do you want to know why I made such a public display of her promotion?" Taeli asked, addressing Allyson's first statement. She would get to the book in a moment. "Of why I made sure everyone knew the previous Lord Inquisitor was... eliminated? It was because he had grown complacent, lazy, whatever adjective you want to describe someone that had allowed his comforts to overtake his duty. Jorryn is none of those things. She had been maneuvering herself towards his job for awhile, something I took notice of. She had ambition, drive, and could inspire loyalty among the Saaraishash agents and show them that hard work can be noticed."

She took another sip of her tea.

"I saw her potential and I have every hope that she will excel in her position, and with your help, I'm certain she will," she continued. "As for the book, I remember your SIS file not mentioning any formal instruction on the skill. Not that anyone in the New Jedi Order would be teaching mechu-deru to begin with, but the fact you are so developed as you by teaching yourself is remarkable. Self-development is good, necessary even, but having something to guide your continued training and development with the skill... that can be absolutely invaluable."

She gestured back at the books in their boxes and shelves.

"I would offer you access to my library on any other topics that interest you, but I don't think you're quite there yet," she said, purple eyes twinkling. "Most of these I've read and memorized, many of them were actually copies I obtained when I became a Sith Knight in the One Sith. I don't know about you but I love to learn, not just about the dark side and the mysteries of the Sith, but any Force traditions that strike my fancy. It's why I chose the Lady of Secrets as my title, my domain within the Sith Empire. I might be a master of Sith magic and alchemy, understand many traditions and techniques, but there is always something more to learn, to experiment with, to push the limits of."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confrontation //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

Allyson flipped through the book glancing at the pages briefly and nodded along as Taeli spoke. A part of her was ecstatic to start diving into the teachings, but the other part was worried. The cover depicted the dark side, the Sith. She had always known that her abilities were well-rooted in the dark side, and her own species was susceptible to the call of the Sith. Knowing just those two factors about her, elements that she had no control over, scared her. Was she always destined to be sitting in this seat across the woman? Allyson wasn't one that ever believed in fate, but the more her life progressed, the more she started to wonder. ​

​

A smile spread across her face as the topic shifted back to Jorryn. The woman was a topic she enjoyed, and to hear some praise about her, the Corellian's smile widened. "I do have to say, during my time undercover with Jorryn - she was a difficult to crack - its why I was curious if she was purposely placed in front of me as temptation. In honesty, I found myself finding her interesting and talented in her work." Allyson tried to sound professional as she explained the moments she shared with Jorryn, as Rae. Of course, Allyson had been the one to shift the gears and have the Inquisitor fall for her, but when the Corellian really put her mind to it - she had found her attractive enough to shift gears in her mission. Also providing praise would hopefully raise her lover's image in the eyes of her boss. ​

​

Allyson softly chuckled as embarrassment spread across her cheeks, she was the Master Spy of the Alliance and to have fallen for her Asset was a bit embarrassing. The more she thought about it, the more the wheels in her mind wondered if there was a way to fix this and still have Jorryn at her side. Either way, it was going to prove a difficult task, and right now, she wanted to enjoy her newfound happiness and try not to think of her past. ​

​

"The SIS and the Alliance frowned heavily on Mechu Deru but were usually the first to send me into the field. I remember over Bespin it was my task to take out the space station there. The Jedi banned me from teaching Mechu Deru, I couldn't even teach one of the Padawans how to defend against it when half of her body was cybernetic." Allyson remembered the Echani girl, hoping that the small lesson she did sneak her helped at all. At least in this universe, mechu deru was rare. "The New Jedi Order looked at me as an asset, and I was given respect - but I could see it in their eyes, just like the others. I was weird and tainted." Allyson shook her head and shrugged. At least some didn't look at her like that, but she was advised against teaching once more. It didn't help her first student also met tragedy. ​

​

"I am curious about the power, it's something that just comes naturally to me. Mechu Deru is like breathing; without it, I don't know what I would do. The hum of the force is white noise, one that I find comfort with. When I was - uh a prisoner of war during the First Alliance war, I lost the power, and I never want to feel that again." There was no reason to hide much from Taeli, the woman read her like an open book. During her captivity on Bastion, Taeli would have been with the Alliance. She has access to the reports of what happened under her imprisonment with the Dark Lord. It would also have been noted that she didn't break - she didn't tell the Alliance's secrets. In her mind, she would have rather died. ​

​

"I'll look into this, thank you Taeli. I am curious since you were ranked high in the Alliance - why was I considered a deniable asset? I've always wondered this - I had skills that were valuable why throw me away? " ​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Allyson Locke

"Jorryn has certainly been results driven, which is something I like about her myself," Taeli agreed. "She will do well as she grows more into the role of leading the Saaraishash." It was one reason why she had promoted the woman in the first place, as she had previously stated. Still, it was good to know that Allyson hadn't cracked the Lord Inquisitor, although she was sure her terminal had been accessed by the Corellian in front of her.

While Allyson continued talking, a soft ping sounded from her datapad. Reaching for it from within her desk, she still kept her attention on what Allyson was saying as she pulled up the message from one of her assets. The policy of the New Jedi Order and the SIS didn't surprise her at all, but the Silver Jedi banning her from teaching the subject? At all? Including lessons on defending against the technique? Short sighted indeed. It was such a limitation, sticking to such strict dogma, when knowledge could have saved so many lives and problems the Jedi had faced in recent years.

"Once one gains power, we ultimately fear losing it," Taeli said. "That holds true from governments to individuals, light and dark and gray. It's why I had my companies develop genetic treatments and stims to deal with ixetal cilona."

She glanced at her datapad again as Allyson asked her question about why she was considered a deniable asset from the SIS, and it felt ironic in the timing... or perhaps... it was destiny placing a card in the hand of the Lady of Secrets.

"While I was a high-ranking Jedi Master, and eventually Grand Marshal, SIS was outside of my purview to issue orders to or determine how they viewed assets," she replied easily, tapping her fingers on the datapad in her lap. "My infiltration only stretched so far into the organization, one of the few institutions of the old Alliance that resisted me until the end. Between Sovv and Teth, they had more direct oversight of SIS and they saw no reason to intervene with how the Director viewed assets. If I had my way... a rescue team would have been on standby at anytime."

She brought the datapad up onto the desk, sliding it over to the woman.

"It would appear SIA and the new Alliance and their allies viewed you the same," she said. "I'm sorry." On the screen were two notifications from her agents in the Core Worlds. One was the bounty now placed on Allyson's head by the New-Imperials and the second would be the intercepted burn notice from Coruscant.

And now... the time for the gentle game for information could begin.

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confrontation //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

Allyson frowned at the answer, it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She hoped she would have heard something from Taeli being as she was the only one that she had been able to contact with any information. It seemed Allyson would have to live with that answer. As much as she believed the Alliance now thought differently, there was a bit of her that knew that all Agents were essentially disposable. Nothing made her special. ​

​

The tablet was handed to her as Taeli’s words muffled in the Corellian’s ears. She could read the notice on the tablet and seeing that everything she had done and sacrifice tossed aside - her world crumbled. There was an expectation she knew after Borosk and then Dubrillion that she would find herself alone. The mission on Borosk went belly up once she had put herself in between Jorryn and the two Jedi. Her lightsaber meant to be a warning - to make the scene look real to the Inquisitor. Yet, the tables turned faster than Allyson could control. ​

​

She read the notice over and over and then the bounty that was placed on her head. Bounty hunters had been after her for some time with the Empire already having one on her head, but to have two of the most prominent nations write her off. It was a blow that cut deeply. Allyson always wondered if this was going to happen, she wanted to believe that her friends knew there was still some part of her that wanted to be with them. Her heart was already claimed by the Echani, and she couldn’t continue to fight that. ​

​

For once, she wanted to pick her heart over her duty. With that choice, she lost almost everything. Placing the tablet down, Allyson took in several deep breaths. Panic washed over her as she felt the pain of betrayal all over again. Her fears realized as she knew that she was now the enemy, an enemy that they were prepared to silence. A hand covered her face as she continued to breathe, composure all lost. Doubt filled her mind as she wondered if her choice was right if choosing her lover selfishly over her ex and best friend. ​

​

She had to remind herself that she had been in a relationship with the Sword of the Jedi, Jorryn had taken over her mind and heart, and it was difficult to remember who she was back in the Alliance. ​

​

“Why am I always the one to be sacrificed?” The hand covering her face slammed down onto the desk, warm angry tears cracked through the Corellian’s usually calm facade. Allyson couldn’t hold it in anymore, her mind a storm of self-doubt and anger.​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Allyson Locke

To watch the younger woman's expression as the bounty and burn notice processed through her mind, she could see the heart break set in. Taeli had read the reports from Borosk. She knew what the girl had done, in her mind, to try and maintain her cover. To her friends in the Alliance... it was obvious they viewed that as a betrayal of everything. Taeli stayed where she was, watching the despair set in, the ache of knowing people you cared for showing they didn't care for you in the same way. She knew that pain, she had experienced that pain, been reminded of that pain on Borosk herself.

And she knew where that despair would lead.

As Allyson slammed her hand down, angry tears flowing, Taeli had moved out from behind her desk and set herself on the edge of it, next to the seated girl. The panic, the anger, they were visceral emotions. The feeling of betrayal, that you just weren't good enough, written off as another enemy or monster or what have you... in some ways, it had been what birthed the Lady of Secrets. Before the incident with her adopted parents, Sith she may have been, but she was just one of many. Simply an apprentice to a Voice, one of many of those. It was that incident that set her on the path to meeting Corvus, discovering her real family name... and to her vowing to MAKE herself valuable, to SHOW her worth and establish a lasting legacy.

"Because they never appreciated you to begin with," Taeli quietly said. "They didn't care about the individual, the young woman they sent off on missions. They didn't care if you lived or died. The Jedi feared you would corrupt others with your teaching, and so they too did not care if you lived or died."

She looked up at the ceiling, contemplative.

"Do you know why I ultimately decided to enact Operation: Eclipse, brought about the end of the old Alliance? It sounds like something born out of pettiness, I know, but all the same... my sister was a Grandmaster of the Jedi. She had fought in dozens of battles for the Republic, for the Alliance. Taught... so many students. She was always so happy to help, to teach, to support the people she thought of as her family, her friends. She sacrificed so much for the Light and what did it amount to?"

Her hands clenched into fists as even just the thought of that Council meeting seared through her, bringing a fresh wave of anger and hate.

"A brief mention at a Council meeting of her disappearance and likely death, and then it was onto the next thing on the agenda in the war against the One Sith and First Order. No memorial. No funeral. Not even a karking plague or bust in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Not a mention of everything she had accomplished. Not a thought for just how an older sister would be feeling, knowing their entire family was gone."

She looked back down at the girl.

"A Jedi Grandmaster and they viewed her as expendable, just another casualty. Another tool in their campaign. No one they ever really cared about, that they loved and admired. Oh they professed to when she was alive, but when she was gone? Forgotten and cast aside, damaged goods even because she learned, near the end, to follow her heart and find happiness."

She placed a gentle hand on Allyson's shoulder, purple eyes full of sympathy and understanding.

"You aren't expendable, Allyson. You're incredible. Jorryn knows this. I know this. It is time for you to realize this too. You owe them nothing, but you owe yourself everything. Give yourself permission to feel, to follow your heart, and never let anyone take that away from you."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confrontation //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

Hearing the words from the former Grandmaster made Allyson uncomfortable. They had to have cared about her, she heard them say it. Fists rested against her thighs as she remembered how Ryv entered her hospital room after she had chosen to give her life to stop Tathra. She had managed to survive, and parts of her were disappointed in it. The words he weaved into her mind as he connected with her. To her, he felt like a place where she could feel whole and at home. To him and the New Jedi Order, she was someone important.​

​

But where did that all change? Was he there to drag her into the fold, knowing how quickly she was the type to run into the outer rim? Allyson had sworn she wasn’t going to be used by an agency ever again, but that’s what happened. The SIA and the SIS were no different from each other, she was a deniable asset, and she was ignored when she spoke up. Hands moved to her head, giving it a squeeze, she had said something she could have sworn she did. She told him she was having problems, she told Loske, it was evident that she shouldn’t have gone into the Empire as a cover agent.​

​

You weren’t. Allyson remembered that she had decided to follow Jorryn, what made the Corellian change the orders given to her? Were the bonds she forged with everyone a lie? Her eyes remained shut tightly as she shook her head, trying to defeat the small voice of self-doubt that shouted from her breaking heart.​

​

Taeli’s words broke through her self pity, she felt resentment towards the woman when she brought up the betrayal of the first iteration of the Galactic Alliance. There was fury behind the bitterness, but it was slowly dying out the more she listened to the woman. Allyson wasn’t the only one to be burned by the Alliance, she wasn’t the only one that was considered expendable. She choked on her words as she remembered the order from her handler to Kaili Talith, to never reveal the truth of their relationship to the amnesic spy. The fewer connections she had, the more efficient she would have been.​

​

A hand rested on Allyson’s shoulder, she grew tense, but the touch it was necessary and wanted. It was a rare occurrence that the Corellian had someone show any sign of comfort. After missions, she was usually left distributing the intel and then to her own devices. Never given a moment’s rest unless she went out of her way to do it. With war, there was no rest. When she had left the Zweihander Union, she was thrust right into the Sith Empire. War was more important, and the words that came from the other Corellian, the woman that somehow understood her, made her feel better.​

​

Looking up towards Taeli, she shook her head. She was tired of crying, but the tears stained her slender face. “I didn’t know. I’ve - I’ve hated you for so long, but you were betrayed first.” A part of the Corellian realized the necessity for what Taeli had done; she understood that it made sense in the woman’s heart. As much as she wanted to retaliate against the Alliance, she couldn’t find it in her heart. She held onto them too tightly during the warm emotions that she felt during the moments of momentary peace. Allyson knew what she needed to do with the rest of her connections.​

​

She had to destroy them, she had to get rid of them before they were used against her, and before the others were harmed because of her choice. Looking away from Taeli, she sighed softly and shook her head. “It was supposed to be different this time. They were supposed to be different, I was promised it was going to be different. I wasn’t supposed to be expendable, I was told I was important and necessary for the Jedi…”​

​

“Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong? I gave them everything…”​

​

Her mind drifted, to Kaili remembering the woman disappear into the sunset. Everything had been given up, at least she could hold onto Jorryn a bit longer than the others.​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Allyson Locke

Taeli looked back up at the ceiling of her office as Allyson responded to the story, to the reasons why Taeli had done what she had done. Even now, she would still do the same. The Jedi had never really appreciated her sister, only using her. Like all Jedi, they were merely cogs of the whole machine. Interchangeable. Forgotten when they broke. Faceless. They were supposed to be selfless, never think of themselves, never allow emotions to play a factor in what they did.

"It is never different," she said, still looking up at the ceiling, but the comforting hand remained on the girl's shoulder. "Republic. Alliance. Republic Jedi. New Jedi Order. Silver Jedi. SIA. SIS. They all inevitably move back to their old positions, their old viewpoints. Individualism needs to be sacrificed for the greater good, emotions suppressed to make sure logic is the only decision maker. They strip out what makes us living beings. You give them everything of yourself, and never realize what you gave up. Without a heart, without feeling and understanding what is going around them, you become nothing more than a droid. And then it becomes easy to just... throw you away."

She chuckled a little as a memory came to mind from when she was undercover with the Jedi of the Republic.

"When I was with the Republic, just fresh out of my mandatory... quarantine I guess you could call it to make sure I was not a secret Sith," and how wrong Ryan Korr and Kian Karr had been, "I met with Connor Harrison of the Silver Jedi. We had a rapport before then, a slight mutual respect even when I was One Sith, but I remember telling him that Jedi have the emotional range of a teaspoon. That they never teach Padawans how to handle emotions healthily. I tried so hard to change that when I was with the Alliance, before my sister vanished and I was just observing and gathering intelligence and not planning revenge. But it never took hold."

She sighed.

"It wasn't traditional I was told. Emotions would only lead to ruin. I disagreed. Emotions saved my life, my dignity." She glanced over her shoulder at an old beskad that still was on display in the office. "Before I joined the Sith, I fully expected my life to be one studying history. I had just graduated with my Masters, well one of them anyway, I was crazy and did multiple course works at the university on Lorrd. Most stressful time in my life, I think I spent... oh 18 hours in the library or a classroom for months."

She smiled in fondness at the thought.

"I had been accepted for doctoral studies in the Core, me, a girl from Lorrd living in the Outer Rim, was going to the Core Worlds to become a doctor in history. My parents... were so proud, and it took a lot to get my mother to be proud of me. On the day I was supposed to leave, I was getting a couple more datapads to take with me... and I was jumped in an alley by three former classmates of mine. They... intended to violate me, humiliate me, and probably worse. My emotions saved me that day. In my panic, in my anger, in my fear, I touched the Force for the first time. I killed those boys that wanted to do worse things to me, and I attracted the attention of a powerful Sith at the time called Praelior. A scared graduate student that didn't know what was going on with her, what she had done. But she learned."

She gestured around the office with her free hand.

"You did nothing wrong, Allyson. You protected someone you loved from someone who wanted to harm her. Choosing your own good over the greater, because sometimes you have to be selfish in a galaxy that likes nothing more than to take and take and take. Your friends and allies within the Alliance... they still see the greater good as more important. It's why," she gestured back at the tablet with the notices on it, "they did that so quickly. Even with everything you gave them, intel, your health, your life... everything has to be for the greater good. Never for the individual, always the whole."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confrontation //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

The hand on her shoulder reminded Allyson of her mother. At this moment, Allyson was a teenager again, dealing with whatever romantic problem she had gotten into. Seemed like every other day she had a new crush or a new significant other that broke her heart. Something that she seemed to fail to outgrow. The warmth of Taeli’s hand was like her mother’s warm and comforting. Allyson felt better, especially now that she thought of her mother. Such an odd memory to remember now, especially with a woman she had considered one of her greatest enemies. ​

Like her mother, Taeli told a story to help ease the young woman’s mind and find some lesson or comfort in the knowledge. Allyson didn’t look to Taeli, she wanted to remember, to pretend the woman was her lost mother. Listening, Allyson wouldn’t have expected the other Corellian to be something different than the Sith woman she was today. Taeli didn’t come from Sith stock, she wasn’t raised or kidnapped by the Sith and forced to turn to the dark side. There was a normalcy to her life, she had reasonable ambitions and dreams - that were taken from her from people, not Sith, just evil. ​

Allyson grew uncomfortable. The way Taeli described the boys made the younger woman angry; if they hadn’t had done with what they had done - things would have been different for the older woman. She would have gone on and studied history, without ever touching the dark side. Allyson gathered though what the woman was trying to teach her. Emotions were the root of the dark side, but they were not always bad. In this instance, they had saved her, they protected her in a time of need. Allyson shifted in her seat as she nodded, agreeing with what Taeli had said about her. ​

“I’m sorry that - that happened to you. Your life would have been so different.” Thinking, Allyson wondered if she had just stayed home instead of venturing onto Ember’s ship to become his first mate at fourteen, would her life had been any different? ​

“But I loved him. I cared about him. He was my boyfriend.” She spoke quietly, remember in her relationship with the Sword of the Jedi. Yet, as much as she remembered their relationship the moment she stepped into Jorryn Fordyce’s office, her heart belonged to the Echani. “I couldn’t.” She paused and bit the tip of her thumb as she quietly thought about her next statement. It was hard to admit the truth of the entire situation, she failed her job by falling for the woman, but she knew she couldn’t help what her heart truly desired. “I loved her more. So I chose her. I want to protect her.” Allyson’s voice quiet as she confessed her heart. It hurt knowing that at that moment, protecting Jorryn was her priority over everything, even her own life. ​

She threw her entire life away for her illicit affair. ​

Allyson finally looked towards Taeli and sighed, “Do you regret how your life turned out? Would you do anything differently?”​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Allyson Locke

Taeli quietly thought about the questions posed to her by Allyson. Did she regret how her life had turned out? Would she have done things differently if given the chance? She just allowed the quiet orchestral music, music that until this moment had faded out for the two women, to fill the air as she contemplated how best to respond to the girl.

"My life would have been very different if not for that day," Taeli agreed, a thoughtful look on her face. "If I had gone on to study for my doctorate, it is likely I would have been a respected professor somewhere, boring students to tears with facts and dates. Never really knowing why I was able to dodge around people with a stack of books or the random bursts of speed or reflex in the fencing ring. But you know..."

She trailed off her, her free hand coming to tap on her chin for a moment as she thought about how to phrase this.

"I wouldn't change anything. I don't regret my life. Do I have regrets? Yes, we all have them. It is part of what makes us living, breathing people. We enjoy successes as much as we wallow in failures. But here is the thing. If I had not been found by Praelior that day, I may never have discovered who my birth family was, never met my sisters. I wouldn't be a successful businesswoman, I wouldn't know the Force... and I would never have met my wife or had my two daughters. I keep that beskad over there to remind me of that day. It was what they held at my throat as they started to... you know."

She looked at the girl again.

"I'm sorry about the boy, the Jedi from Borosk yes?" it was a rhetorical question. They both knew that Taeli could guess that, even just from after action reports. "You cared for him. Loved him. But... I think we both know it was not going to be something you could sustain. An occupational hazard, for Jedi especially, is they learn to let go of what they fear to lose. Emotional attachments can never outweigh duty, and you see the results more times than anyone would like to see. Are there successful Jedi romances? Of course, the Heavenshields are proof of that, but when one takes on a mantle within the Jedi; the Sword, the Heart, the Soul, etc. they will never know a peaceful life. They will always choose the Order over anything else."

She squeezed her shoulder.

"I understand the pain you are going through, I really do Allyson. Connections severed, irrevocably, can be the most painful of things. But pain can be something else too. It can be a motivator. It can be a teacher. It can be a source of power in desperate times. Once you harness it, learn it, understand it, pain can be an old friend to remind you that you are not a god. You are a person. The pain you feel now though, the doubt about the path you walk, will pale in comparison to what you and Jorryn feel for each other. I know you want to protect her, that you will do almost anything to do so."

While she had been understanding, empathizing with the girl, it was time to nudge a little.

"You and her do not have to fear reprisals from me for anything that has occurred, that I can promise you... but what your former friends might do to her... I cannot guarantee they won't be after her. They will blame Jorryn for all of this, and if they have information to find her or hurt her, to capture or kill her, they will certainly use it. Let me help you protect her."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confrontation //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

Allyson found some comfort knowing that Taeli didn’t regret anything that led her life to this moment. It meant that there was some sort of hope for her. As long as she found happiness in the bed she made and was forced to lie in, things were okay. Her words felt truthful, and bits of it made the younger woman wonder if Taeli Raaf truly wanted to help her. The edge she held onto started to give away, and the Corellian relaxed. A bead of trust began to formulate in the rogue spy, and the more Taeli spoke to her, she began to believe her. ​

​

Being reminded of how the Jedi turn away from attachments, she nodded. She remembered how Arisa Yune reached for her, but couldn’t commit to her. In the end, the Kiribian woman lost her life, and Allyson had to deal with their broken bond. She mourned the woman, blamed herself for not being able to save her, to protect her despite her words that she wasn’t as fragile as the Corellian perceived. Looking down, Allyson stared at her hands, there was so much blood on them that she would never be able to wash away. Yet, Jorryn accepted her despite it. The Jedi never would, Ryv would have hated her if he knew she was part of the Silver Order at one point of her career. She wondered if he held it against her that she disappeared like all the other Jedi Masters, she abandoned the fight at one point. Leaving him and his friends to grow up fast and fight. ​

​

She remembered his distance from her during the first battle, on Munnilist, he spoke of short dreams - ones that could be obtained in a few months. They were simple, but she accepted them because they were his dream. “I told him I wanted a family.” She didn’t expect Taeli to follow, but she needed to say the words, reminding her that Taeli was right about the Jedi. “I told him I wanted to finish the War, and if I survived. I wanted to settle down and have children.” Hands clasped and nervously pulled at each other. She fought back the tears as she exhaled with a laugh, “He didn’t acknowledge it, but he spoke of so many wonderful dreams. Ones where I mattered.” Tilting her head, “Duty always came first. The War came first, the Galaxy came first.” Allyson nodded as she reminded herself, Taeli had told her as well. ​

​

Taeli Raaf spoke of Jorryn, the single path through the Corellian’s defenses. A hand rested against her midsection, remembering the fresh scar that crossed her lower stomach. If Loske had been faster and Allyson slower, the Corellian would have been disemboweled on the battlefield. Allyson hoped that the Kiffar padawan had hesitated, letting Allyson get a slight upper hand and a chance to escape. Yet, she had her doubts, especially after remembering the look on her face. ​

​

Loske would always choose Ryv and Maynard, Ryv would always select the Galaxy over her. The small ounce of jealousy she held for Loske and Maynard showed its ugly head as she remembered how they were able to be together, yet she had to hide her affair with the Sword of the Jedi. It was for safety, maybe. The Shadows were never popular with the Jedi as a whole, especially her with the talents in the Force she had. Shaking her head, she focused on Jorryn, letting the bond she shared with the woman comfort her. The pain slowly faded as she shook her head. “They don’t know about her. I made sure of it. To the Alliance, Jorryn Fordyce doesn’t exist.” All the information that Allyson had sent back to the Alliance had been scrubbed clean of the Echani. ​

​

“I won’t let them touch her. I can’t lose her.” Allyson felt the pain she felt from the loss of her friends shift quickly into a fire that burned, her loyalty to the Echani was fierce. She wasn’t going to lose Jorryn like she had lost Kaili; no one would hurt her or get in the way. Allyson was going to protect and save her paramour. Looking to Taeli, she frowned, that same defiance and determination that the Corellian people were infamous for shined through, “I’ll even protect her from you and the Emperor. Especially the Emperor.”​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Allyson Locke

And thus she was nearly certain that the boy she had been seen with on Borosk, the Jedi, was one of the aspects of the Jedi. She couldn't be entirely certain, but being on the front line with the New-Imperials, she could hypothesize he was the Sword. Allyson explaining he had dreams of them together, of her want for a family once the war was over, but he always placed the greater good first, the war effort against the dark first, yes... it sounded like a Sword that would never find happiness. The war would never end for him.

Although... what she had just said was interesting. Jorryn had been who Allyson was attached to in her mission, but the Alliance and her handlers didn't know that the Lord Inquisitor existed? Very interesting. The girl wanted to protect Jorryn, fiercely from the sound of it as that Corellian defiance showed itself as she proclaimed her desire to Jorryn from Taeli and Kaine, and she left out her name and data from whatever reports she had sent back to the Alliance she assumed. But...

"You have nothing to fear from me, Allyson," Taeli said, giving her a small smile at the defiance that was all too familiar to a fellow Corellian. "I want to help you protect Jorryn too. And the Emperor... well, a brutal man like him can be distracted with other things. However..."

She schooled her face into a contemplative expression, with a hint of worry.

"I am not sure Jorryn is safe from the Alliance, even if you omitted her from your reports," she said, letting just the right amount of concern leak into her voice. Gently does it. "The fight on Borosk, they will know that the Echani they fought and tried to kill was important to you, that you cared for her enough to take the Jedi's hand. A smart operative will be able to put two and two together, and we both know for all their faults, SIA and the Shadows can put puzzles together. If they know places where she might be, like Bastion or Saaraishash headquarters, they could launch a strike raid to target her."

She tapped her fingers on the desk.

"Yavin might not be safe, is it?" she asked. Gently does it.

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Confession //:
//: Bastion //:
//: Taeli Raaf //:

​

The smile from the Lady of Secrets caused the younger Corellian to calm her defiance. Allyson had already mentally made the connection between her own mother and the Sith Lord. A possible mistake, letting the woman have any amount of influence over her. Allyson enjoyed the reassurance from the woman, through her words and the comforting grip on her shoulder. Allyson relaxed slightly as she nodded, understanding the point that Taeli was making. They had nothing to fear from the other Corellian. ​

There was another agreement between the two, this time about the Emperor. Taeli knew how to deal with him; she would since she was so high in the Sith Empire's food chain. Allyson knew of their somewhat closeness, though she didn't realize how close they were, intel gave her a hint. Leaning back in her seat slightly, Allyson nodded, agreeing with the brutalness of the Dark Lord while her eyes fell aside and away from Taeli. ​

However​

A word that demanded the attention of the Corellian as she looked up towards the woman. Seeing the etching of concern on her face and the tone of her voice changing. In most cases, Allyson would have been suspicious and would have kept her guard up. Taeli had tamed the young master spy, leaving her hanging on every word. "However?" Allyson questioned, a concern already falling to her paramour. Her body tensed once more, but not at Taeli, but at her words. Taeli quickly explained the spy's actions on Borosk, the botched mission played in her head as if it had just happened. Without knowing, she held her stomach, remembering the heat coming from Loske's blade that threatened to disembowel her. ​

She attacked so viciously, Ryv had attacked wanting to kill and the look in both of their eyes when they saw her and Jorryn. The words that spilled from Ryv's lips to the Echani. She shut her eyes trying to remove the images from her mind, she didn't want to remember them, she didn't want to hear his words to Jorryn, it only made her angry with the Jedi. Fists formed against her thighs as she shook her head and cursed herself. Why did Jorryn go looking for her? If the woman had just stayed put - none of this would have happened. If Allyson had controlled herself, none of this would have happened. ​

Jorryn would have remained safe, and the Alliance, Ryv, Loske, and Maynard wouldn't have a target to hurt her because of the betrayal. Breathing became hard as Allyson choked on realizing that in her efforts, she might have accidentally delivered her lover to the blade. ​

The sound of Taeli's fingers against her desk, created an anchor for the Corellian to focus on. It created a constant rhythm, and she focused on it, to calm the anger down, and finally, she answered Taeli. "No. It's not safe." She looked away and sighed softly, "They know about Yavin IV. I planted a trojan on her computer. It would siphon information through me, and I would route it to the Alliance." She fessed up to what she had done, as she looked down at her feet. "I fed information about the battles of Borosk and Dubrillion to the New Imperial Order, along with Muunilist. Information on troop locations, weapon convoys - everything about the movement and layout of the battlefield." ​

The words continued to flow from the Corellian's mouth, she couldn't control it. She wanted to stop knowing that she was only digging herself a deep grave with the Sith. She had no idea if this was just a game to pull the information from her, and then she would be disposed of. The color in her face faded as she felt her stomach churn. It was either fess up now or let them find out later. She was a dead woman, but she hoped that she could trust Taeli.​

"Please don't kill me." It was a pathetic sounding request, but as much as she had wanted to die before this point, she always found a reason to want to live.​

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Allyson Locke

Behind the concern and worry she was displaying, Taeli was studying every movement of Allyson, every inflection in her voice, her presence in the Force. Jorryn had been the key and now she was getting at least what the spy had sent back to her allies. Yavin was compromised, but in that... there could be opportunities. The reveal that Allyson had sent along reports on the battles, from the Sith side, was to be expected. She suspected the meetings she had attended, both of the larger one on Metalorn and the private one between Djorn, Jorryn, and herself. Troop movements and convoys to the front, all predictable information a spy would send during war.

Her fingers continued to drum along on the desk, a repeated pattern, as Allyson made her quiet plea. Taeli knew the girl was a fortune of intelligence on the enemies the Sith faced. She could identify key individuals for their assassins to target, vital infrastructure that could be sabotaged, lead to other agents that could be suborned or captured for interrogation. But most importantly of all...

Taeli wanted the girl to be an ally for herself. Not even for the Sith Empire, although that would be true. She would be invaluable to the Order of Shadows, given time. She was skilled, she was powerful if she just broke down those walls that kept her true power contained, and she was intelligent. It took courage as well to go undercover as often as she did, as successfully as she was. The silence in the room, broken only by the music, kept stretching and stretching... her last spoken words lingering...

"Oh Allyson, dear dear Allyson," she said finally, removing the hand on the girl's shoulder. The heartbeat, a second almost as though she was a moment away from uttering some horrible spell... "Why would I want to kill you?"

Taeli's concerned expression gave way to a little amusement, and sympathy for her.

"You were doing your job, and I wouldn't hold that against you," she continued. "The information you gave your handlers, your former allies... it might be damaging, but nothing permanent. Your reveal of the Saaraishash headquarters might put your paramour into danger, but it is merely a building. The functions of such can be moved to another location."

It was left unsaid that it could be left as a trap...

"I don't wish you dead, the Emperor doesn't even wish you dead I believe. I disagree with what he did to you, those years ago. He was cruel, and you were a teenager. Your escape... was impressive, indicative of what you can do even at the lowest of points for you."

A gentle hand came up to cup Allyson's cheek, just as a mother would do to a scared little girl seeking reassurance that everything would be okay, that she wasn't mad... that someone cared about them.

"You never have to fear me, and I will make sure you are protected. That someone cares about your wellbeing and won't leave you twisting in the wind when things go wrong. That makes sure you and Jorryn can be happy together, and wants to see you excel, to grow. You are worth so much more than they ever told you or allowed you to be. You've proven that time and time again."