Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Give Feedback on the Member Above You

We have seen feedback threads of signatures, avatars, even about a character's clichéness. But now it will be taken to the next level. A complete feedback game where you just give feedback, both complimentary and criticising, on the member above you, about their story, writing style, whatever you feel like talking about. :)

I'm sure you all know how it goes, but I'll just give a description of it to be sure.
Let's say I am member A. Then member B may come and give feedback on the member above him, so the member A. Then member C'll come and give feedback on member B because he is above her.

It will be less revolving around one member than creating a blog post or a thread or whatever for only yourself, as you'll be giving others feedback and then receive feedback on yourself.

Remember, bringing out both the goods and the bads of a member would be the best.
 

Alric Kuhn

Guest
A
I like your writing, but i don't often see you outside of Private or Faction threads and that makes me sad :(
[member="Thurion Heavenshield"]
 

Stephanie Swail

Look what they've done to my dream
[member="Jacen Cavill"] - I admire the respect you have with a moderate post count, and the effort put into the character from the outset. It makes me want to explore a story with you, and think there is a lot of adventure within you. Great stuff.
 
You took an avatar I once had for an Alt so I had to change it.

I am writing with you in several different threads with several different Alts. You have a solid base. I would like to see you expand your character. Motives, ambitions and fear can help make a character. As I should probably expand many of my own in the same way.
 
Your characters have always been interesting in one way or another. I was very disappointed when you disappeared from the site without any notice whatsoever - you were enjoyable to RP with.
 
I got tired of players hating on my character and got very busy IRL without any notice.

For you I would say, I enjoyed writing with you too. I haven’t written with your new character though. What ever happened to Circe and her massive fleet. You were very good IC at brokering deals, and a nice ally to have.
 
Colap Ticon said:
You took an avatar I once had for an Alt so I had to change it.

I am writing with you in several different threads with several different Alts. You have a solid base. I would like to see you expand your character. Motives, ambitions and fear can help make a character. As I should probably expand many of my own in the same way.
Sorry man, I didn't know. :) Yeah, I've been thinking about that. I'm getting back into the forum now and I'm going to try to do more of that, thanks for the advice!

ALSO: POST #300! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
 
I've roleplayed with you a few times (the character I am currently active with is @Dex Drekkal) you have a nice strong style of roleplaying (and you are a Knight so you must be doing something right) @Melakoth Tyrin

Also, awesome avatar :)
 
[member="Melakoth Tyrin "]The usual. Fringe stole it. And my planet. And my factories on said planet. And my dignity. I don't work for those fethers anymore. Don't even touch the alts of their members with a ten foot pole.

[member="Meep"] Number of alts 2 stronk. Plz nerf. On a serious note, I saw that you had [member="Dex Drakkel"] in the New Order. I'm greatly looking forward to us RPing. You look like fun, to say the least.
 
[member="Enigma"]

As you are somebody whose writing I have seen much, I can say some things. You are not afraid to do crazy stuff, you seem to want to try new things and love uniqueness. That's what I admire about you. However, as the constructive criticism, I would like to say that you should bring even more feelings, thoughts, background into your posts. Try to balance the action you bring into your posts with thoughts of your characters. It helps a lot.

At the moment, the feeling-to-action balance is not too constant and your posts sometimes lack background information like thoughts your characters have of some things, how do they feel, what did they do before something, and everything which takes place around the involved characters.

I like your willpower, your desire to have unique stuff, interesting characters, and your activity. Really, you post like... a billion times a day... And that's kind of cool. :)

I would give you advice to try to bring more description into your posts as they are currently quite action-centric.

---

People, remember this thread is only for giving feedback. No off-topic would be welcome. And of course, try to give feedback only to the player above you. Sometimes sniping happens and somebody posts before you, we understand. But if it's possible, then only on the member above you. :)
 
[member="Enigma"]

I like the fact that you continue to roleplay your character, despite the adversary you have faced. Circe is really interesting and you portray the right type of Sith who operates in a Rule of Two. You're a fantastic writer, with good ideas. My only criticism is that you don't put enough depth into the writing. For example, during our thread when we're traveling across the galaxy, I explained OOC that the Muun's do not allow people to land their ships on their planetary surface; and that was why the Skyhook was built, so that people could go down that way. But you tried to write us landing on Muunilinst, which comes across as a little lazy.
 
Might as well double up.

[member="Maria Natalja"]: I've enjoyed your writing for months now. the Vitor-Lilith story was one of my favorites, I must say, and I wished it had gone on longer. My criticism is, well... You sometimes have a habit of suddenly using muse. Think ahead with what you want to do for your character - but not too far ahead. Maybe a month or so. Don't get too far ahead of yourself, but don't be so dynamic that something happens to hack your desire to write a character off.

[member="Darth Ayra"]: you've been a lot of fun to write with as Circe's apprentice. Probably one of the few long-term ones I've had. IC, you're a superb writer. Your posts are easily a good 3-4 whole paragraphs at a time, full of meaningful content. However, OOC, sometimes you come off as a by abrasive to people. Not as abrasive as me, of course, but still rather rough sometimes. No real things to improve on IC, though. Keep up the good work!
 
I've always enjoyed your writing IC wise, your content is meaningful and makes alot of sense. Definitely one of the best. I wish there could've been a time where we could rp something, that could still happen of course. OOC wise I've seen others give you a lot of crap, sometimes its just poking fun but i love the fact that you've got that tough skin and are able to take criticism and a good joke.

Love ya dear, [member="Enigma"]
 
[member="Sochi Ru"]

No reason we can't start an RP up. I've always enjoyed your writing as well, but haven't gotten the chance to thread with you that much - maybe you should send one of those goody two-shoes Jedi to the Dark Side with Circe's help. :p
 
[member="Enigma"]

You must add more feelings and thoughts. When you played as Circe, you seemed to have deeper depths to the character.

Solutions: What is your charater thinking? How do you feel? Five Senses, tell me about them, what do you smell, feel, taste, hear, see. Body language, this is an obscure one. A lot can be conveyed in less words, when using your character body language. For instance if you cross your arms while talking to me, I can infer that you are angry or defensive, without you having to write it.
 

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