Feedback First (real) attempt at a Jedi

[Elle Mors]

This isn't the first time I wrote this character, and it isn't the first time I've written a Jedi, but it is the first time I actually put any significant effort into both taking ownership of the character's future and making a serious attempt to write a Jedi that I at least intend to stay a Jedi. (My other one was way back when I first joined the site and was more Mandalorian than Jedi).

Given how shortly after I started the character I intended to dip from the site I didn't really get much of a chance to do almost 6 months of RP with her, so I kind of had to reboot her to some extent on her return in the Annihilation of Csilla thread (links to the list of posts she made in the thread). I think the best representation of "early" Elle is her first thread with Sylvia Virtos , which happens to be like one of my only threads with the two now that I'm actually looking back at things.

Anyways, brief intro aside, how am I doing with her? She's a bit different, I'm aware - sort of influenced by her writer, I'd guess - which is sort of why I posted this at all.

Any other current threads the character is in, post-return to the board, are listed in her bio.

 

[Darth Carnifex]

She needs to stop shining that flashlight directly into my eyes.

More seriously, I've enjoyed the character a lot from what I've read. As with all of your characters, you write her extremely well and elucidate her characterization clearly. She's not your conventional Jedi, having once been a Sith before rejecting that destiny, and I think that backstory lends more weight to her desire to do good and to stand up against tyranny and injustice even if the odds aren't stacked in her favor.

Really enjoy, can't wait to see more of Elle <3

Elle Mors

 

[Jsc]

I'm a ruthless fan of complicated people trying to find their way in an unfair galaxy. Especially in good conscience. Yum.

Now. I've only read a bit of her stuff, plus the bio, but I can honestly say you've got a firm grim for the writing of it. In fact, I think you have some of the best pacing I've ever read on the site thus far. It's slow enough that the really good bits can sink in and so that I don't miss anything important and get lost later on. It's really quite flattering since I'm so used to most people just painting with quick narrow bits of illustration. Jumping from sentence to sentence as if writing was the bane of their very existance and proof reading a jagged entrance into the seventh layer of Star Wars hell. So yeah. Bravo for nailing a really great pace for reading. Love it.

I don't think you'll ever struggle to keep up with a group at your level. Very fun presentation.

Elle Mors

 

[Darth Solipsis]

I haven’t interacted with her directly but I was rather impressed with how you portrayed Elle during her duel with Darth Carnifex and the build up to it. I’d say from the limited readings I had from the Annihilation and small increments outside of it that you’ve nailed it.