Dark Matter

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

That isn't a bad feeling, Kaile thought to herself. It is certainty.

That Asmus attempted to make light of the situation didn't slip past Kaile. However, even a passing glance at the pilot could reveal more than what Asmus meant to say. Perhaps, what he rather not even acknowledge. It was a contrast of situations, a complexity of the reality that they were facing with the attempt of empty lightheartedness.

Asmus could very well say there was too much pollution, too much pomp, and imperials. Yet this was his home. He grew up here. There, upon the crimson blush of the setting sun, splashed against the growing indigo of the night were the stars that Asmus had pointed out to her naught a night before.

[SIZE=10pt]"Do you remember…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]...when you asked about my [/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]favourite constellation?”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Asmus brought up his arm and had pressed himself close, cheek to cheek. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]“There it is,” he'd signed, tracing it through his gaze out on the sky. “The Watchkeeper and his Treasure. Coruscant sits in the middle of the horde he guards there. His legs and then his great bow.”[/SIZE]

Seeing his profile now, the necktie undone, hair a tousled mess and his attention intensely focused on piloting, Kaile couldn't help but feel the sting in her eyes grow. That burn was a familiar ache, once that she did her best to blink aside by looking away and focusing on the nav computer.

"I'm sorry," it was a quiet apology, but it would weight heavily upon them both. Perhaps Asmus thought that it was an apology of the current situation. Or maybe due to the end result of potentially being unable to return home. It was all of the above and everything else that the pilot would never know, never truly understand. This was a life he shouldn't have tangled himself in.

"We've three incoming," she told him, focusing on the sensor computer. "Can we outrun them?"

 

[Asmus Janes]

"They'll get one shot at us," Asmus confirmed. "Then we're gone. Jay, angle the deflector grid forwards. Full power."

"Understood."

"And Jay?"

"Yes?"

"Good work back there. Probably would have caught us at the door." Asmus didn't know if that was true or not. However, the droid seemed to have spent his existence not being given any purpose. He deserved to know he had done them a great deal.

Asmus looked towards Kaile and gave her a nod. He arced them around to take the three head on. Asmus half wished he had a fighter to do some damage on the way out. He knew that right now those pilots would be checking their instruments. Seeing the change in heading and speed and wondering if they were tracking a heavy missile.

They got one shot. Asmus barely maneuvered. Enough lateral thrust to make them a target but their velocity was so large the brief flash of green across their shields barely strained them.

His hand rested lightly on the Hyper drive lever. It was one thing to be able to choose your stars. Another to have to flee from the ones you knew best.

"So much for our one rat." Their mission seemed so pointless in the gave of the almost quiet regime change going on.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Jay. That was another thing. What will they do with Jay? Kaile’s fingers gave an inward curl over the armrest as Asmus rolled the Solaris slightly port to avoid the shot. Just a few more seconds and he would be able to punch it.

Stars began to elongate across their viewport and the slight lurch as they jumped into hyperspace was barely noticable. That’s what was to be expected from such an expensive Naboo liner. With their faces glowing from the stream of stars and hyperspace, Kaile gave a heavy sigh, her shoulders practically sinking. The mission, the futility of their situation, and just what the ramifications for a complete wipe of Class Three and below. For an order to go underground and black out…

That knot grew in Kaile’s throat. It was hard to breathe. The next second, she got to her feet, moving to exit the cockpit.

“Thank you, Jay,” reaffirming the gratitude from before, all the while thinking to herself what were the following steps they would need to take.

“Don’t tarry long between destinations. Omwat, to Athos IV, and then to Surabi Seven.” her voice was low, but firm, expression unreadable.

“I’ll touch base with a few contacts I have there.”

 

[Asmus Janes]

“For that order to go out,” he said quietly, “the SIS has been completely, irrevocably compromised.” Asmus didn't even look at Kaile. He looked through the view screen at the cerulean swirls of hyperspace. He looked drained.

A fraction of a second later and he bounced up from the chair and headed to the navigation terminal. “Shame, I liked this ship,” the contemplative tone was gone in an instant. “But she's tagged, we can't keep it long.”

He offered Kaile a smile as she left and dropped his weight into the next chair and started tapping away. “Might be able to drop out at a distance and use one of the buoys to make people think we stopped at Omwat to land…” he muttered to himself.

His exuberance and ability to bounce back was going to be sorely put to the test, but it hadn't been broken just yet.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Pale blue tinted eyes went swiveling over to Asmus. Her lips drew a thin line. What should she say? Do? Should she tell him the full extent of just what this meant for that order to have gone out? Or did he already realize it? Reading his expression, the Lorridan could tell he was trying to busy himself, to fill in his mind with objectives and goals and what steps to take to perhaps keep panic at bay. He was a sight for sore eyes. Didn’t help that he still was ridiculously good looking in his rumpled shirt, vest, cravat, and pants. Any moment and he would start running those slender fingers through his hair, pushing the dark forelocks back as reality of their situation sunk in.

“There is always a due process. You’ll receive a new identity on Suravi Seven. I’ll figure out what to do with the Solaris by then.” her attention swung over to Jay. Kaile knew what she had to do. It was there in her expression should Asmus catch it flicker over her pale face. In spite of everything Asmus had done up to this point to give the droid a fighting chance, Jay was now a serious liability. Especially once they arrived on Suravi and…

Well, what always came next. Disappear.

 

[Asmus Janes]

His lips pursed as he followed her gaze. Having Jay depended on the infrastructure made available by the SIS. Keeping his memory stores clean and secure, leaving him on the frigates when he couldn't come with them.

As long as we find him a job he'll enjoy, he thought to himself. After everything they had been through they couldn't wipe him and leave him in a worse position than he had been in. There was a cost associated with every action, but that idea didn't sit well with Asmus. The Solaris itself could be parked in deep space and left if they decided they might need it again. There were thousands of parsecs of empty space between systems and it would stay in the same spot they left it for a few thousand years. Or they could hide it clamped to an asteroid in a quiet system. But they couldn't just leave Jay in hibernation; they might never come back.

“Do I have to change my hair?” he asked sharply as that very shocking thought suddenly crossed his mind.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Kaile found herself blinking a few times, swinging her attention from Jay over to the pilot. Scant seconds would tick on by as Kaile struggled to comprehend if the first thing that Asmus would exclaim about was if he would need to change his hair. Was he being serious? Her face would scrunch up in bemusement, as if she couldn’t quite believe what he just said.

Oh there was no doubt that Asmus could channel his vanity, at times it was adorable as it was just an example of who he was. He enjoyed taking care of himself, of buying fashionable clothes, of making a good show of himself and he worked hard to have the freedom and the funds to do so. But this wasn’t a detour because they had to avoid some Imperial Fleet; this meant that he would have to change everything he identified with in order to survive.

“Does that concern you? A dye job or a hair cut is the least of your concerns with a burn job of Class three or below,” there was a change in her demeanor, a thrum growing frustration thrust into a cocktail of guilt, regret, and shaken by experience.

“Do you realize what that means? What that order signifies?” Jay’s ocular servers gave a lift and a drop and he took a step back.

[ I should recharge my powercore. ] he had enough of a personality matrix to recognize that this was not the scenario he should linger in. It was trouble. He now knew how to spot it.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus didn't even reply at first. He waited a moment until the towering droid had ducked through the door and headed further back into the ship. His hands stopped tapping and balled into fists just above the keyboard.

He didn't look at her. Didn't think he could and keep an entirely straight face. Asmus didn't like to look backwards. He didn't like to consider what could have been. But he was very much tempted to imagine a world where this happened. Where they were still back at the ball and gliding across the dance floor.

“There's a sealed folder in the locked compartment downstairs that says exactly what it means. But I read it once.” Asmus had a brilliant memory, he didn't need to revise the procedures.

“Stormtroopers crawling over home kind of hammer it home.” His hands returned to the keyboard and he started finishing his plots. On the screen in front of him lies started to intersect in an abstract representation of hyperspace.

“The difference is that you know how to make a plan to meet it and I just know how to do some navigation.” This time he finally turned to look at her, seeing the severity of her questioning expression.

His lips formed a half smile that didn't extend to his eyes. So I'd rather worry about whether I'd look good as a blonde right now and get the ship on course, he thought.

“I follow your lead now. I trust you.”

He didn't have a thing left in the galaxy to trust. She hadn't asked for him to trust her, she had just told him what to do. They needed to act quickly now. Asmus couldn't help but think back to the shuttle journey and asking her to trust his judgement in avoiding that missile. She had put her life into his hands now, but this situation wasn't going to be resolved in a few minutes. It might be that he never got to be himself in this half of the Galaxy ever again. It wasn't lost on him.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

[SIZE=9pt]It was what he told her without words that hit the truth of his mental calamity home. Asmus was dealing with it the only way he knew how. He wasn’t a tenured undercover agent who was capable of dropping identities and picking new ones a a drop of a credit. The SIS had brought in the decorated Galactic Alliance pilot to fly. Not to run undercover missions. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“I”m [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]sorreh[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt],” the apology flowed with a hint of her drawl and hinted at exhaustion. For what exactly, was hard to point out with the galaxy flipping itself over. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Both hands came up, rubbing at her face, pushing back at her blonde hair. That heavy weight of responsibility sank on her shoulders again. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“You should have never been assigned to this.” she said quietly. I should have asked for someone else. Another experienced field agent. Not Asmus. Now he’ll have to pay the price for it. She had already felt uneasy when they were using Asmus’ real name and family connections to gather intel. Too much high risk and exposure. There should have been another way. Too little too late. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]I trust you. [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]He said. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]You shouldn’t[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt], Kaile thought to herself. Part of her wanted to offer him comfort. Another told her that she had no right nor understanding to do it. This was the world he grew up in. His family. His Identity. The chances of returning were grim if the Imperials managed to do any more along this sector of the galaxy. Now what would he do? [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“They always provide everythin’ you need to start fresh. Identicards, credits, forged documents and resumes. You’ll be able to land on your feet.” Kaile took a deep breath, feeling the bindings of the dress pinch at her ribs. Her hand came down from pinching the bridge of her nose only to brush against the ruffles and lace of the dress. The beautiful dress she had slipped on earlier this morning. She recalled how it felt soft and light against her skin. The stolen twirl she’d taken in front of the mirror, the skirts lifting up to tickle her calves. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Now the tight bindings that held it in place were a stark reminder that she was not of that world. But another. Fantasy shattered and reality took its place. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“I’ll make sure that.” Kaile said, turning away to leave the cockpit. She had to get out of this dress, to plan, to think, to mentally prepare herself for peeling away one of the most painful roles the agent ever had to take. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]And tell Asmus goodbye— again. [/SIZE]

 

[Asmus Janes]

“It's not your fault. I knew what I signed up for.”

He didn't want new identicards and credits. He didn't know what he wanted. Asmus wasn't even sure he wanted to fight any more. The entire experience had reminded him that the people of Eriadu, despite everything that had happened before, could favour an imperial regime if it lined their pockets.

“Screw them all,” he whispered to himself. Nobles and Merchants alike would turn a blind eye as long as industry kept marching on and their own interests were looked after. So many faces has passed through the Rogue Squadron during his leadership. Lots of them had come from backwater worlds and the places most at risk from the oppressors.

Another thought crossed his mind: by now the Subversion might have been lost. If the fleets were this deep his other choice might have ended up with him scattered to the hyperwinds right now.

He turned his attention to the computer and tapped away until he had done what he could. Thirty minutes until they dropped out and deposited an SIS Buoy with a false transponder and flew on.

Picking up his waist coat he turned out of the cockpit. The stairs twisted down towards the spacious master room. At least he had some simple spacer clothes so he didn't spend his time behind the stick dressed for a ball.

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

[SIZE=9pt]Asmus would find her struggling with the ties at her back of the dress. She was in the middle of the room, both arms stretching went behind her and up to try and loosen the bindings. By her feat was that small bag of hers, where the most basic of necessities and clothing changes were contained. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Although she wasn’t facing him, Kaile heard him approach. He was normally light on his feet but understandably, they carried a heavier weight this time around. Keeping her attention forward, Kaile’s fingers did her best to loosen the lacings. She’ll be able to slip off of this and into easily blendable spacer clothes. On the bed lay her datapad along with a few datacards, one red in particular. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]She was quiet. There didn’t seem anything else that she could say. [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]Should [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]say. A cloud of distance seemed to grow from her. All that work the past few days seemingly lost in the severity of their situation. [/SIZE]

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

“Here,” he said softly. Asmus said nothing else as he approached and started on the remaining binds. Deftly, he undid the knit loosened the laces for her. Asmus brushed the skin along the nape of her neck and suddenly paused.

As if worried that she would vanish into thin air he very carefully placed his hand against her shoulder. Asmus just laid his hand there and breathed. It was only then that he realised that it felt as if he hadn't properly breathed in hours.

It was all words and bluster and misunderstanding. Just a touch, skin to skin, that was more important than everything else.

Asmus sighed, gave a squeeze and stepped away and started to undo his cravat. How did he go forwards from this and chart a path? One jump at a time. Look ahead, not back, find the best heading and follow. Kaile was all the guidance he had left to steer by. She was his starlight.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

[SIZE=9pt]Kaile’s lashes went fluttering shut at the caress, the tiny hairs along her skin rising in awareness of his presence and his touch. Her hitch of breath made her chest rise, breathing him in, catching just the remnants of his cologne. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]“Thank you,” she murmured, the skin of shoulder still lingering with his warmth from the squeeze of his hand. Part of her longing for it to stay, aware that it was a stupid desire. To be honest, when the pilot had paused at her back, his fingers brushing alongside her nape, Kaile had felt a coil of dread in her belly. No, not of dread. Anxiety. Of what he might say. What he might do. There was a sea deceit, unspoken words, and uncertainties between them. What’s more, with what was happening to the Galactic Alliance and the sudden compromised position of the SIS, it only complicated things more. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Why would the Force have them crashing together after so many years just to rip everything apart?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]A shuddered breath and Kaile did her best to focus on changing. In a few seconds the soft fabric went pooling at her feet. Another skin shed. Bending, Kaile went reaching into her bag to pull out a plain blue shirt. There were tan pants there, along with a tan vest. A black utility belt and a hair tie to pull her hair away from her face would complete the look. For now at least until she switched her appearance to suit the new alias she would take. [/SIZE]

 

[Asmus Janes]

Whilst they had been at work, Asmus had allowed himself to imagine a very different moment to this one. One - where having successfully started their work - they returned to his apartment. Maybe with a bottle in hand, a reflection of that first night where he helped her escape a quarantine zone. This time a more content Kaile getting to leave the stifling conversation with his family and business associates. They could have returned when the sun was down, continued their dance until she hitched up that stunning dress and straddled him on the sofa.

That selfish part of himself coiled up in rage that the world would change just to ruin his plans.

Asmus suddenly realised that this moment was no less important. After everything they had been through if they wavered now, or lashed out at each other they would truly fall apart. The Galaxy was falling apart and he had tried to lighten the mood and keep his own mind off it. Stupid, but the kind of stupid he would do.

“Kaile?” he called out softly. His cravat was discarded, top three buttons of his shirt undone. Instead of carrying on he tentatively reached for her hand. She could always read his eyes, no bravado could hide the streak of fear trying to hide there.

 

[Kaile Vera]

She’d just slipped the blue shirt on, about to wrap the fabric and tie it at the waist when she heard Asmus’ quiet inquiry. It was just her name, simple as that. Turning to face him, her gaze locked with his as he went reaching out to touch her hand. Not that she paid too much mind to it, for it was his expression that had her enraptured.

This time there was no light hearted atmosphere. No mischievous grin that would curve up the right corner of his lips. No sight of the faint dimples, or the crow’s feet. Instead he was bare, with uncertainty reflecting in those gold flecked jade green eyes. Of the situation. In himself. Lost.

Her breath picked up and nostrils gave a slight flare. It hurt her to see him like this. To see him without the usual cocky, devil may care arrogance that had served to help him continue on by the seat of his pants. Seeing the best in everything and everyone. Always looking forward. Never back.

“Asmus..” her voice broke, cracking. What else was she supposed to say? Do? It was just all bubbling up. He might not know what course this might take but the agent did. And it was a painful realization. It wasn’t fair.

It just wasn’t fair.

To him. To her. To everything in between. A growing sting began to burn in her eyes. It hurt to look at him. To see his beautiful face, the tousled dark hair, the scruff that darkened his jawline, and the fancy courtier clothing that set him apart.

A ragged breath came next, Kaile blinking rapidly. There she stood, an echo of the past brought forward. She was cast with in short honey blonde hair, a half done blue shirt, but it was the eyes and her expression that were the same. They might have been tinted blue due to the lenses, but the almost broken aura of the girl Asmus had met back at the Quarantine quarter was standing in front of him again. The poignant, dejected look, as if barely holding it together. This was worse. So much worse. Stars, I don’t want to leave him. Not again.

But I have to.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus couldn't just stand there and watch. Not with her looking at him like that. He very slowly lifted her hand and with a gentle tug drew them together. On the Quintessence he had not understood - still didn’t understand - what had been playing on Kaile’s mind. This time he did. There was no handball match, no silly fantasy to explore to take her mind away from her pains. This time he knew what had happened and it was just as painful for him.

What was a gentle tug became a more desperate gesture as he wrapped his arms around her. His deep breath in was just as ragged as hers had been, now right next to her ear. Touching her shoulder had been calming, but breathing in the scent of her hair and having her pressed against him was far more.

That breath held and he closed his eyes tightly shut. As he slowly let it out he opened his eyes again. Realising that he had taken fistfulls of her shirt he relaxed his grip and let his arms drape around her waist.

“We’ll be alright. Okay.”

Okay. He didn’t even ask a question, but the statement did not sound all that assured.

 

[Kaile Vera]

By then Kaile had tucked her face along the crook of Asmus’ neck, breathing in the scent of his cologne, his shampoo, of his skin. It was as if she were imprinting the moment to memory. Scrunching her eyes as tightly as she could, trying to listen above the breaking pounding of her heart.

When Asmus spoke, Kaile’s fingers only seemed to tighten further on the fabric of his shirt. She was silent, but her entire body spoke another story. What she couldn’t say.

He didn’t understand. But how could he? It was kurt all over again. It was a half dozen things and then everything else in between. Things weren’t so simple.

They never were.

But she could at the very least try to make the best of what she could for Asmus. It was the least she could do. The same line she told herself again and again for years.

 

[Asmus Janes]

It was several seconds before he drew away. Just far enough that he could tilt his head down until they were forehead to forehead. He waited until she opened her eyes. If only he could just live here, within these walls and stare into her eyes and pretend there was no danger out there in the Galaxy for them.

Now they would have to become small. Insignificant and under the eye of the Sith and First Order. Just as he had once been. For how long could he live like that? The border checks and inspections had seemed less of an irritation when he had been younger. All except for the one where his mind had been assaulted by a Sith. Not even some Lord, just a bored underling on an imperial star destroyer on the hunt for smugglers.

Asmus pressed his lips to hers just briefly. The last few days had been such simple joy and exploration and they now knew every inch of one another. He would never regret that, likely never forget it. Now it just felt, in hindsight, like stolen time. They were never given enough time.

 

[Kaile Vera]

The kiss may have begun as a brief brush. An attempt at comfort. For him. For her. For them both. But it quickly would follow with another. Was it Kaile who returned it? Or did Asmus return for another? It didn’t matter. Each press of lips and sharing of breaths became a crackle of energy. Desperate energy. Intensity rising, Kaile struggled to breathe, to hear anything beyond the hammer of her heart. Beyond the heat of Asmus’ body under that rumpled silk shirt.

Kaile didn’t want to let him go. Not again. Stay. Lips locked and caught Asmus’ nudging, no, almost forceful, in the deepening of the kiss. There was an anxiety, a frenzied crescendo that was nothing like the last night they had at the Quin. It also wasn’t similar to what had occurred at that first meeting on the Subversion. The frantic clash of her body as she pushed herself against him was comparable, but it was cast in the urgent necessity to almost get under his skin. A mere touch wasn’t enough. It wasn’t lust. It wasn’t desire. It was the desperate cry for air, and Asmus was the only source to be found in the black space of the ‘verse.

Was it foolish? Certainly, for every growing kiss, every twisting grip of her fingers that wanted to draw him closer and closer still was a nail on a coffin she knew could be her doom. She let him go once. She might survive doing it again. But it was tearing her apart.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus didn't care that they didn't have time to waste. No one in the ‘verse would make time for them if they didn't for themselves. Fuck everyone else. The Eriadu governors, the faces he had known too well who had sold them out. Fuck the Sith and their endless wars just to horde more power. The people he cared about mattered. Kaile mattered. How many people took the time to look at Kaile, really look and see if she needed someone to care for her. They hadn't been given much time, but it was enough for him to know that it wasn't many.

He dared not let go. He was frightened, upset and angry. Emotions he didn't feel towards her, but the tide upon which his desperate desire rode high. His hands once again took fistfuls of her shirt.

His heart pounded, every feeling seemed to be trying to break out from the tension inside his head as the drumbeat of his pulse pushed back. Asmus kissed her fiercely, turning his head to the other side sharpy and stealing a breath before locking his lips to hers. With a subtle shift his weight leaned in to her, almost threatening to unbalance them.

Damn them all. They could make him run, but they would never stop him finding his own path.

“I love you Kaile,” he whispered. His voice was hoarse, breathy. Where their skin touched there was so much heat. He had his whiskey girl back. There were both alive, as was Jay. Somewhere out there the Quin was still flying. One step at a time.