Private Crisis of Faith

[Jonyna Si]

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As she left the trial, Jonyna seemed to be slumped, walking a bit slower and tediously, her tail dragging behind her. What had been a trial for a man returning to the order, to her, had been a test of her devotion to the order. A moment where she asked a question, and by her own perspective was ignored and told to stay in her lane. That her 'own interpretation' of a code she thought was crystal clear was wrong, and now she questioned everything. The Jedi were meant to be heroes in her eyes, and now she was told they weren't. After 900 years, she had hoped that all the tales that her former mate had told her were just exaggerations of a poor memory. But now she knew the truth. The jedi were just as much prone to the politics that she believed held down the generation prior to her own.

And yet, she never really got an answer to her question. What was the code to mean if not what the words on the page directly said?

To fight ignorance through knowledge
To act as the guardians of life
To bring light to the darkness
To serve others, rather than rule
To always seek betterment
To be the light in the dark

Those words echoed in her mind. Words that she had sworn to take as seriously as her own code.

Do Good, even when it is inconvenient.
Protect the Innocent, for you are their shield.
Fight Evil where it stands, with both kindness and fury.
Above all else, survive. You are one of few. Do not let the Light die out.

It was a code she had drilled so far down into her mind, that it had allowed her to defend against the mental attacks of Darth Wallgof on Caldera. It had prevented the dark side from infecting her mind time and time again. When she felt anger, she was reminded of it. When the slavers had come to Daxam II, she watched them burn an Azuli village to the ground. And yet, her code pulled her back from going too far. Now this new code, one that she was more than happy to take up, made little sense anymore. She needed answers. She needed help.


Her mind wandered as others passed her, but it took pause as Kahlil Noble and Valery Noble exited the chamber.

They could answer her.

"M-master Nobles!" She as unsure if addressing them as such would be uncouth, especially given what had happened in the room they had just left. She was still in hot water. Hopefully she could get her answer...

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Operative Suit | Factory Link | Wedding Ring
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Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber | Double-Bladed Lightsaber
Tag: Kahlil Noble Jonyna Si

The meeting about Kaleleon's future within the Order had been a little draining on Valery, but overall, she was satisfied with the outcome. He had a clear path ahead of him, and while it likely wouldn't be easy to prove himself, she felt he confident that he would. The Jedi were still more than willing to assist, and with new challenges emerging in the Galaxy for the Jedi to address, there was an abundance of work that needed to be done.

Plenty of opportunities to show his nature as a Jedi.

"I wonder what kind of trials await him. I remember mine as a Padawan, but what would they be like as someone who was already knighted once? Maybe more similar to yours before you became a Jedi Master?" Valery asked her husband with a gentle smile as they left the meeting room.

But as they did, a voice called out to them, and Valery turned to the source.

"Knight Si? How can we help?"

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Likely, yes. We'll have to make sure we're around for them, though. The Council. I feel it's important we show that we're not just dumping him off after such a decree." He paused though, glancing down towards where he felt another approach. Kept his usual kind smile on his face all the while, though.

"Jonyna."

Jonyna Si | Valery Noble

 

[Jonyna Si]

​

"Masters." Jonyna said, sounding a bit sheepish. "Can we....talk? About...what happened in there...and me..." She really didn't wanna get demoted. If that was the plan, she wasn't sure how she'd take it. She'd spent so long working towards Knight with her mother. Endured a lot of hardship, both on and off Cathar. Returning home was one thing. Finding out her mother was a Shadow was another...

Tag: Valery Noble Kahlil Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Ship: Link
Tag: Kahlil Noble Jonyna Si

"I'm planning to reach out privately, and perhaps assist him. Or bring him on a mission with me, so I can see what he's like out in the field. Because I agree — if we make these types of decisions, we must show that we're standing with him, not against him." The decision, after all, had been made for him to prove himself, but also to help him truly discover his path within the New Jedi Order. It wasn't just punishment.

And Jedi would always help each other.

"Of course we can," Valery then said, as Jonyna approached them. She briefly glanced at Kahlil, who definitely knew what'd be going on inside Jonyna's mind as well.

"Maybe somewhere more private?" She then asked her husband.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"We certainly have something to talk about, yes." Kahlil nodded, motioning for them both to start heading towards his own office. It wasn't too far from the council chambers, and it'd at least give them the privacy to speak about this all. As soon as they were there, though, he glanced back to Jonyna, motioned for her to take a seat.

"Take a seat, if you would. If you're worried about demotion, though, don't be. We do need to have a talk about your recent behavior, but you're in no trouble."

Jonyna Si | Valery Noble

 

[Jonyna Si]

​

Jonyna followed, sitting down. "I just...I'm confused." She took a moment to collect herself, breathing in deep. "Where, or rather...when I was from, doing what I did, it would be celebrated. Fighting Inquisitors, people who have no interest in sympathy or honor, the only option was to kill them on the spot, because they would offer no kindness in return. I mentioned our Code, and yet Kassogtha Cthylla says my 'interpretation' is wrong to fall back on, and yet...isn't exactly what you were doing? Interpreting the code for Kaleleon 's judgement? I just...I don't get it. The code I had follow before I went in the ice, it was straightforward. There was no room for interpretation. The jedi code...it's vague..." She frowned, pulling out her saber and laying it on her lap. "I...you said you were too lax in letting me in the order as a knight. It was my mother who trained me, a Shadow. I don't understand why that training is failing me here..."

Tag: Valery Noble Kahlil Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Ship: Link
Tag: Kahlil Noble Jonyna Si

Valery dipped her head and followed Kahlil towards his office within the Temple. Once they were inside, she turned to the small display at the side of the door and locked it for now. Jonyna wasn't forced to be here right now, so shortly after the meeting that had sparked all of this, but if she wanted to already get it over with, Valery wouldn't let anybody interrupt that.

"The way a Shadow interprets the Code or serves the Order... is not quite what most would consider to be very Jedi-like. For most of the Jedi's history, the Shadows were a completely secretive group because of it, that only the Council knew about. They would bend the rules and go to great lengths to accomplish their missions, and those often involved hunting down Sith purely with the intent to kill them, or destroying their creations." Valery was clearly speaking from experience, having been a Shadow herself once and even being in charge of them for years.

"You're from a different time too, when one wrong step as a Jedi or Force-sensitive could mean death at the hands of brutes. I can't say I blame you and those around you for developing the views you have, but things have changed." She turned to Kahlil for his input now.

He had his own experiences with the Jedi Knight.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Everything changes. That is just the way of the Galaxy, of people. It's important to never just think you're always right, or that your way is the only right way. Your training hasn't failed you, but the time you've come from hasn't helped you. The Galaxy isn't like it was, and the importance of being able to adapt and learn has never been more important." Kahlil glanced to Valery for a moment, smiling just a little.

"If anything, we failed to help you learn that. Though, what is the Code that you learned?"

Valery Noble | Jonyna Si

 

[Jonyna Si]

​

"Do Good, even when it is inconvenient. Protect the Innocent, for you are their shield. Fight Evil where it stands, with both kindness and fury. Above all else, survive. You are one of few. Do not let the Light die out." Jonyna explained, staring at her saber on her lap. "Mother told me that it was the way she was trained. To hunt the darkness and snuff it out. That it was the way of the jedi, or at least...it was, until the Clone Wars." She paused, thinking about it for a moment. "You saw her ghost when we were training together, yeah? I can....try and bring her back out if you wish to speak with her personally. She'd be able to explain my training much better than I could."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
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Tag: Kahlil Noble Jonyna Si

"It was the way of the Jedi Shadows," Valery corrected politely. "It was like that for me when I was a Shadow too — find the darkness wherever it roams and purge it. The Jedi as a whole fight against and resist the Dark Side as well, but they do not go to the same lengths that a Shadow would."

At the request to bring forth her mother, Valery blinked and looked at Kahlil.

"Perhaps it's not a bad idea? She could explain their perspective, but maybe also help convey that those views were a product of their time, rather than the philosophy of the Jedi."

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"That is.. A very different code from the code the Jedi as a whole follow."

Kahlil reached up to rub his chin, glancing between the two. Then nodded. Perhaps talking with her mother might clear some things up, but there was one point he did want to make clear on. "We are not going to demote you, Jonyna, but it is important you learn some things you seemed to have not been taught. It is the way of the Jedi to always be open to learn new things, especially when they're filled with frustration. Sometimes all it takes is learning a different point of view for that frustration to melt away into understanding."

Valery Noble | Jonyna Si

 

[Jonyna Si]

​

Jonyna took in that, considering it. Her code, she couldn't forsake it, and yet it was....outdated. It was too late for her now there though. She'd spent all of her life drilling it into her mind, keeping it on the forefront of her psyche.

But she could adapt it. No longer was the Light at risk of falling into the pit of black.

She looked to her saber, closing her eyes. Focusing through the Force on her saber. Come on Mom, I need you now. I know I'm not in danger, but...

Before the three, just next to the Cathar, a woman in old Sentinel robes appeared, now holding Jonyna's saber.

"I take it you wish to speak with me, Masters." The spirit spoke. "I don't think we had the chance for introductions last time. Forgive my daughter on that front. She's..." The ghost paused, looking to Jonyna. "Always still learning."

Valery Noble Kahlil Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
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Tag: Kahlil Noble Jonyna Si

Valery nodded her head in agreement with her husband. As a former Shadow from a rather extreme Enclave, Valery had grown up believing that redemption was either impossible or not worth the risk. That any fallen Jedi or Sith needed to be returned to the Force alongside their creations. Then she met Kahlil, and that entire view fell apart.

It was quite a change to go through, but with the right help and willingness, she had managed to do so. Jonyna could do the same.

Valery then watched as Jonyna's mother appeared and lightly dipped her head in greeting, "I'm Master Valery Noble," she said before allowing Kahlil to introduce himself and start this little conversation.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Master Kahlil Noble."

Kahlil dipped his head in greeting. Gave the same patient smile.

"It's good to meet you more properly. We have much to discuss, as I'm sure you already know."

Jonyna Si | Valery Noble

 

[Jonyna Si]

​

"Master Cici Si. I take it you have questions?" The ghost asked, juggling the saber in her hand. "I only have five minutes, unfortunately. My connection to my daughter is based on her own ability."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
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Tag: Kahlil Noble Jonyna Si

"We do have questions," Valery began after Jonyna's mother appeared. If they had more time, she'd have spent more of it to maybe get to know the woman or introduce herself, but they only had a few minutes, so she wanted to make the most out of it.

She was sure Kahlil would feel the same way.

"Maybe we should start with the views you taught to your daughter here?" She asked, before allowing Kahlil to clarify or add to it with his own questions.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Your views, and why you taught her a different code from what the Jedi usually teach."

Kahlil glanced briefly to Valery and Jonyna.

"If she's going to thrive in this new time, we'll need to know everything."

Valery Noble | Jonyna Si

 

[Jonyna Si]

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"Well, the code she knows was not something I taught her, more reinforced it." Cici noted. "She came up with it herself. As for why..." She paused, looking between the two masters. "Read a history book." She said rather bluntly. "The code you preach, the code we were all taught, look where it led the people of my age. Look where it ended us. Why would I teach my daughter a code that would make her a target for extermination by a force she, and all of our people of the Light, were ill equipped to combat? Valery, you were a shadow, yes? I've heard your name before, in the archives from my time. A grandmaster's name is not easily forgotten. Is it not in our training to prioritize survival above all else? A Shadow cannot complete their mission if they end up a ghost such as myself."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
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Tag: Kahlil Noble Jonyna Si

Valery tilted her head when the woman turned to her and tried to reason using her past as a Shadow, "You do realize that the Jedi of my time did follow the Code the way it was intended, right? We didn't fall to the Sith and their schemes because of it, but we defeated them many times. The problem of the Jedi of your daughter's past is not that they followed the code and failed because of it."

"It's because they didn't actually follow the code. Jedi became generals in the military, meddled in politics and highly mistreated a Jedi with immense potential because they had no ability to relate to his past." Valery glanced at Kahlil for a moment and let out a soft sigh.

"The Jedi of this time have defeated the Sith, and of the Jedi, I played one of the largest roles in that victory. But it's not because of my Jedi Shadow training. It's because I learned to adapt my views and become far more tolerant. Without my husband here, I would have never defeated the Maw, and if I had followed my old views..." Well, she'd have killed him when they just met on New Cov that one day.