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Approved Planet Crion - Dead Planet Contest

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Intent:
  • Dead Planet Contest - June 2017
Image Credit:

Canon: N/a
Permissions: N/a
Links:


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Planet Name: Crion
Demonym: Crionti
Region:
Wild Space
System Name: Crionus

System Features:

  • Sun(s):
    • Crionus; Class K: Orange and Cool

  • Moon(s):
    • Iostars - Advanced Listening Post: (Abandoned)

  • Planet(s):
    • Pretonia - First Orbit; Molten Rock
    • Askiylia - Second Orbit; Molten Rock
    • Moemia - Third Orbit; Type III Breath Mask Required
    • Shecorus - Fourth Orbit; Type II Breath Mask Suggested
    • Zylia - Fifth Orbit; Gas Giant with six moons
    • Crion - Sixth Orbit


Coordinates:
  • tgGRrN9.jpg


Major Imports:
  • Chemicals
  • Scientific Tools / Equipment
  • Foodstuffs

Major Exports:
  • Medicines
  • Scientific Breakthroughs

Unexploited Resources:
  • Fresh Water
  • Ice
  • Trace Minerals / Metals

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Osyh Glacier Fields

Gravity: Standard
Climate: Frozen
Atmosphere: Type I Breathable
Primary Terrain:

  • Ice Fields
  • Mountains
  • Glaciers
  • Oceans / Seas
  • Outposts
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Capital: Aura Colony
Planetary Features: Described Below

  • The Totush Ice Plains
  • Aura Colony
  • Frostgarde Terminal
  • The Awiss Ice Plains
Major Locations: Described Below under Location Information header
  • Osyh Glacier Fields
  • The Thundering Bay
  • The Tlalask Mountain Range

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  • The Totuhsh Ice Plains - An expanse just south of the Aura Colony, the Ice Plains are covered with shifting glaciers, ice formations, and small lakes and streams. A few rocky gravel river banks peek through the ice or are exposed from the shifting glaciers. Every now and again sheets of ice sheer off from the higher formations, making travel through this region dangerous and requiring those who do to keep an eye above them.

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  • Aura Colony - Situated on the edge of a massive waterfall, the Aura Colony was constructed as a minor citadel, with minimal defenses. The colony itself produces chemical compounds and houses the scientists that work in the various outposts and communication relays on the world. Additional functions of the Colony are focused on further medical and scientific pursuits. Its isolated location has caused it to be lost to the galaxy, though if it were found, there is no telling what kind of information would remain. The Facility has been otherwise shut off...

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  • Frostgarde Terminal - Other than Aura Colony, the Frostgarde Terminal is one of only two structures on the planet. The facility was focused on the study of various ecosystems and habitats from the surrounding systems. A handful of habitat domes were constructed to provide the scientist with the needed ecosystems, which in turn were filled with native flora and fauna. Without the upkeep though, surely all but the hardiest flora and fauna have perished since its abandonment. The facility has been otherwise shut off...

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  • The Awiss Ice Plains - An expanse sitting between the Aura Colony and Frostgarde Terminal, the Awiss Ice Plains sit above a sea, causing the massive ice plains to shift from time to time. These usual movements cause massive ice spires to jut up from time to time or open up chasms into the sea just below the surface. Another oddity of the region is the water spouts, often caused by ice below the plains slamming together, forcing water up through cracks.


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  • Osyh Glacier Fields - Layers upon Layers of glaciers that have built up over time shift back and forth with the ebb and flow of time. Massive chasms and ice spires tear through the ice from time to time. The deeper one explores into the chasms and glaciers, the stranger and more dangerous the region becomes as the temperature variations cause shifts in the wind, with temperatures dropping below zero.

  • The Thundering Bay - Thunderous clashes ring out through this bay as the icebergs slam into one another as well as the sides of the bay. The force of the waves causes the ice to slam hard enough to cause a thunderous roar to fill the air. From time to time the edges of the bay sheer away, filling it with more ice and a louder thunderous roar. In a way, it is both eerie and a thing of beauty to watch the shifting ice.

  • The Tlalask Mountain Range - While not the only mountain range on Crion, it is the largest of the mountain ranges, crossing much of the northern hemisphere. The region is rather dangerous, with constant avalanches and shifting glaciers constantly changing the lay of the land. A thick cloud layer settles over the mountain range, causing anything within the foothills and lower altitudes of the range to be covered in a fine mist and fog. The further one travels up into the mountains the clearer it becomes until they find themselves above the cloud layer, though by that point an individual would require a breath mask.

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Native Species:

  • No Native Species

Immigrated Species:
  • Sanguinius Vampirika

Historical Population:
  • Sparse
    • 1500 - 2500 Individuals

Current Population:
  • Insignificant
    • Thought to be Uninhabited

Demographics:
  • Sanguinius Vampirika - 100%

Primary Languages:
  • Galactic Basic Standard
  • High Galactic

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In terms of daily life on the world, the culture was one of hard work and focus. Those that ended up on Crion viewed it more as a point of pride and thus is reflected in their work. Scientists predominately made up the population on Crion, and for this reason, most things such as arts, sports, and religion were either shunned or didn't seem to exist outside of an individual's own beliefs or hobbies. Rather the culture that developed centered around the scientist's work, and hard work and long hours were venerated just as much as any deity on some other world.

Crion itself was a world where work dominated, and it dominated the daily life of the scientists. While the small handful of military personnel was there for their safety, the focus was on the scientists themselves. Crion served as a larger role within the Akeldama Slave Empire and its actions directly aided that world.

All in all, Crion and its people were focused on their work. Much of this work was centered around medical advances and scientific works, predominately in the medical and droid fields. Of course towards the end of Akeldama and its grand conflict, the mentality and work shifted to producing weapons technologies, though all of that came too late. Perhaps if they had more time the scientists would have created something groundbreaking.

Coming from a culture that prided itself on its work, surely they wouldn't have destroyed it; rather the scientists hid their work, hoping to return to it later. For now, it remains a quiet world, its outposts and labs shut down, though what information lay within those dormant servers?

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Historical Government: Planetary Barony
Affiliation: Independent

Wealth:

  • None
    • Crion was not a world of wealth, having no mineral wealth or ores of any real note. Its true wealth lay in what the handful of science outposts were developing for Akeldama; advanced medicines, chemical agents, and other scientific breakthroughs that would be of use. When it came to the closing days and Akeldama was besieged, Crion was rapidly attempting to make weapon breakthroughs without success.

Stability:
  • High
    • While setting up as a Planetary Barony very much like Ionus, Crion's Barony was more focused on ensuring that the scientists in the outposts had everything they needed. While those Vampirika sent to Ionus viewed it as punishment, those that were sent to Crion saw it as great pride. Stability was not a worry, though from time to time there were disagreements or arguments, there was no real bloodshed that required action.

Freedom & Oppression:
  • Crion was known for being the most open and free world in the Akeldama Slave Empire for the sheer fact that the Scientists on the world and any who were posted to the planet were provided freedoms beyond what many others had. This was due in part to the need to keep the scientists happy and ensure that they continued their work. The only oppression was from fatigue and the long working days that the scientists put in, with the administers of the world largely keeping their hands off of anything beyond ensuring that supplies and protection were afforded to the world.

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Current Military: None

  • In its own time, Crion was once defended by a few vessels, mainly small interceptor corvettes and starfighters as well as a small ground side security force. It was discretion that was needed rather than a fortified world to ensure the safety of the scientists on the world. Beyond that there was no large military force established on or near Crion to keep it a secret as to ensure it would remain undiscovered.

Historical Technology:
  • Galactic - Hyperdrive Capable ( circa 3,952 BBY )

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The Thundering Bay

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For much of its history, it has sat untouched in the expanse of Wild Space. While many have come across the world, its difficult to say exactly when the world was discovered or to whom the honor goes for discovering it in the first place. By the time explorers and raiders from Akeldama came across Crion, it had been host to a handful of colony attempts, many of which were abandoned. Those from Akeldama merely slipped in and claimed the colonies for themselves as well as erected additional facilities for medical research and other scientific works.

The study of Crion has shown that at the time it was discovered, it had been undergoing a millennia-long ice age brought about by it being knocked out of its standard orbit by a meteor strike. The evidence of this strike can be found deep below the Thundering Bay, where fragments of the original meteor still reside. Due to its change in orbit around its sun, it quickly became a frozen world, requiring the appropriate protection for its frigid environment.

For this reason, Akeldama eventually chose to use it as a base for scientific and medical experiments, as its lack of native flora or fauna meant that if there was biological contamination, the world would still be largely left untouched. The cool environment also ensured that many of the facilities were adequately shielded from scans in orbit, hiding and toning down their heat signatures to fool sensors and their operators with what could be assumed to be a false positive.

Throughout its reign, Akeldama looked to Crion as a center of technological advancement, and those sent to the world viewed it as a prize more than a punishment (compared to those sent to Ionus). When the conflict broke out on Akeldama, Crion was tasked to shift its research to military pursuits, attempting to produce new weapons and defense for Akeldama. When the world fell, Crion was left alone, though the scientists feared they were next. They cut all communications and to further shield and hide Crion, they shut down the facilities and evacuated the world.

Since that time the world has remained largely untouched, and even those few that slip into the system push in towards the central worlds rather than bother with Crion. This isn't to say that no one was attempted to land on the world or rediscover anything about the planet, though those few that have attempted usually fail; either being forced back out of the heavy cloud cover or meeting an early demise as their vessels slam into the sides of mountains hidden in the clouds.

What mysteries await for those that finally manage to make it to the ground?


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The Tlalask Mountain Range
 
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Ashin Varanin

Professional Enabler
[member="Amelia Sorenn-Syrush"]

I dig it. A couple of things:
  • Please use Google Image Search or TinEye to find and list the names of the images and their creators, if available.
  • Please specify what the planet's actual current population is, roughly, even though it's believed to be uninhabited.
  • Please clarify that the research facility isn't currently operational, unless it is in some sense, in which case please clarify that.
 
  • Edited, though done so under protest as the links provided contained all required information and was deemed as acceptable on two previous occasions. I used Google and the information that I have added is the information that was provided to me by google.

  • The current population is none, it is an abandoned dead world, however as seen from a previous submission of a dead world titled Miasma in which I marked the population as none. - Link to Post in full [HERE]. Following this, I believe that my current population count of it being undetermined should be acceptable as I am following from the directions of a previous judge. Likewise this same marking as Unknown - Data Incomplete - Thought to be Uninhabited was accept on two previous occasions in the Akeldama and Ionus submissions.
Change population from 'None' to 'Undetermined'. A person could easily move to the planet and the population would automatically change. Thus, 'none' is not valid.


  • While it was noted in the history, it was still noted that the facilities were both shut off and not in operation as seen in the below quote. I've gone back to their descriptions in the Locations part of the submission and have added that both facilities are shut off.

When the world fell, Crion was left alone, though the scientists feared they were next. They cut all communications and to further shield and hide Crion, they shut down the facilities and evacuated the world.


[member="Carradine Dukal"]
 

Ashin Varanin

Professional Enabler
[member="Amelia Sorenn-Syrush"]

On point one, I'd refer you to the link found in the template regarding the proper sourcing of images. There are times when the matter is overlooked. However, simply hyperlinking to a Pinterest collection does not constitute due diligence in giving an acceptable citation of the artist's work. The citation edits you've made are acceptable.

On point two, you argue against the required and very minor edit because a former judge told you something three years ago, and because this wording was acceptable in two more recent submissions. Digging in your heels over a very​ old ruling isn't something I'll address. As for the Akeldama and Ionus subs, both planets appear to be very clearly and completely wrecked. In this specific submission, I'm asking for a slightly clearer statement.

On point three, thank you for the clarification.

In the future I would recommend not digging in your heels so hard about such minor points. There are ways to disagree with a judge by counterpoint, and ways to not do it.

If you still feel strongly about specifying your population more clearly, feel free to request a second chance.
 
Srina Talon Srina Talon

Ready to be moved to Planet Codex for Judging

Edits Made:
  • Broken Formatting Repaired
  • Section Headers Added
  • Grammar Errors Repaired
  • Unexploited Resources Added
  • Pictures Repaired - Photobucket Watermarks removed
  • Links Repaired
  • Minor Font and Text color Changes
 
I really like this ice world. It's cool (pun fully intended). However, some things need some work.

For the Out of Character section, you need Permissions, as shown in the template:
  • Intent: [ Describe the plan for your planet. NOTE: This section alone can have your planet dismissed. Planets created on a whim or for purposes to undermine the integrity of Star Wars will not be approved. ]
  • Image Credit: [ Provide credit to the original artist of the images in your submission. Link to the web page where it can be found and state the name of the original artist if possible. Each image used must be credited. Use TinyEye, Google Image Search, or the Image Credit FAQ to help.]
  • Canon: [ Is this a canon planet? If yes, link to the original planet wiki here, if no simply put N/A. All canon planet submissions must be tagged "Canon" in Topic Tags. ]
  • Permissions: [Please link any Marketplace purchase or similar approvals to use other Writers’ content as part of this submission.]
  • Links: [ Provide links to any relevant threads, characters, companies, locations, etc here. Canon or otherwise. Especially obscure references, or events important to the submission.]

Also, the sixth and seventh images aren't correctly linked, and only link to a Google search. Here as some source links though for image six and seven.

Location information should also follow this format:
  • Capital City: [ What is the name of the planet’s capital? ]
  • Planetary Features: [ What are interesting artificial features of the planet? Ruins, interconnected cities, floating urban platforms. This field is used to sketch out artificial features, adding RP opportunities, but without the need for specific details like in the major locations field. You can also include if the planet is primarily Wild, Rural, Suburban, Urban, or a Mix. ]
  • Major Locations: [ What are the major locations on your world? Include an explanation on each. ]

Also, if you could link the immigrant species, assuming there is one, that would be helpful.
 
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