Private Confessions of An Alcoholic

[Inanna Harth]

Nathema Orbital Complex

If Vanessa Vantai had offered to transport Inanna to the shipyards in her own vessel, the Shi’ido would have refused. Inanna instead arrived in her courier, having flown straight to Nathema from Dromund Kaas. She meant no offense, of course—she simply understood all too keenly the need to have her own means of transport without relying on others.

Accompanying her was Ayreon, an advanced HRD. During the auditions he had minded Inanna’s ship, restlessly waiting for her return, and now he followed her to the Orbital Complex. His companionship had been the only constant in Inanna’s life ever since she purchased him from a nightclub on Zeltros, where he had served as a long-suffering bouncer and she an assistant manager. He kept her grounded—she was quite sure that she would’ve long since launched headfirst over the deep end if it hadn’t been for him and his mechanical persistence.

The shipyards loomed large before them, visible through the courier’s viewports. “So Ms. Vantai builds star destroyers,” Inanna commented, watching the massive and fearsome ships being constructed. Smaller vessels were also being manufactured, but the star destroyers stood out due to their sheer size and reputation. She turned to Ayreon, whom she had asked to do some quick research on Vanessa during the trip. “You didn't mention that she was a death dealer.”

Ayreon, who was piloting the courier, kept his eyes on the controls as he answered. “Vanessa Vantai has had a long and storied history with the Sith Empire. She was there before the current Emperor Carnifex assumed power, and she played a role in many major conflicts. The manufacture of fleets for the Sith-Imperial war machine is one of her duties as Triumvir.”

Inanna sighed. Ayreon had already rattled off a lengthy list of Vanessa's known previous apprentices, making it clear that Inanna was neither the woman's first project nor would she be her last. “She must have plenty of experience. I suppose I should take comfort in that.”

Despite her somber attitude, Inanna had become a little excited as the voyage wore on and they drew nearer to Nathema and the beginning of her training. Her head was full of ideas that she wanted to pitch to Vanessa at some point, ranging from asking about lightwhips (Inanna had a strange fascination with the unorthodox weapons) to discussing Inanna's brief and unfruitful past training experience with the Jedi. But she could never allow herself to forget that Vanessa, regardless of how friendly and unassuming she seemed, had allied herself with the Sith. Inanna couldn't help but be suspicious of Vanessa's sincerity, and if not that, she definitely didn't consider her trustworthy. Not that she was planning on blabbing about her secret mission, but still. According to AMCO and others she had encountered, Inanna's mind was an open book that any Force User with a basic understanding of telepathy could easily read without so much as squinting. Actually making sense of the Shi'ido's tangled thoughts and memories was another matter altogether, but she considered her uncontrolled mental projection the most glaring of all her issues, a debilitating, cumbersome problem even worse than her newfound addiction to booze.

Once the courier docked in the complex’s hangar, Inanna downed the rest of the glass in her hand, the ice clinking together as the liquid drained away, then stood up with a newfound sense of courage. She glanced over at Ayreon. “Care to join me?”

Ayreon tilted his head. “I’m not sure it’s appropriate.”

“Sure it is. If, for whatever reason, she tries to take control of you with the Force or disassemble you into scrap, I’ll just kill her,” Inanna reassured him cheerfully.

Ayreon managed to look doubtful, but he did stand up and follow Inanna out of the ship.

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

Vanessa had eagerly awaited the arrival of her newest apprentice to th complex in orbit ever since the tryouts had ended. Inanna Harth was a rarity, someone she had not expected to cross paths with, but who had the potential to become as great as the Emperor himself if given the right training and opportunities. Vanessa’s own tangled web of information and resources had likewise revealed to her more information about her student, information she would have to put to use in helping to break down the woman’s weaknesses and begin to accentuate her strengths.

“Inanna! A pleasure to finally have you here.” She smiled, moving forward and giving her apprentice a hug. She looked at the human replica droid and gave a confused look. “I didn’t think you were bringing company, but there is always a room available for him as well.” She motioned for them to join her as they would proceed deeper into the complex. This time, Vanessa would not go to the office immediately. Instead she would head to the fitness center within the complex, where the Darktroopers maintained their own fitness. “I have been... studying your history, Inanna, but I’d like to hear it from you personally. Tell me about yourself. What brought you to this point?”

All the while, she was reading Inanna’s mind, doing her best to snoop and learn all she could about her new student.

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna was somewhat taken aback by Vanessa immediately rushing forward to hug her, but recovered from her surprise quickly enough to return the embrace, awkwardly patting the woman on the back. “Uh, sorry it took so long—we had to make a rest stop along the way for fuel and supplies.”

Vanessa’s look of confusion at Ayreon prompted Inanna to quickly introduce him. “This is Ayreon,” she said. “He’s my… friend.”

As she spoke, Inanna’s mind lit up like a switchboard. Given Vanessa’s skills with the Force, she could glimpse the scattered images and associations which Inanna so readily projected. Her first sight of Ayreon, as a damaged and abused machine with no past and no future; the droid rushing to her defense when Inanna was attacked by a mysterious assassin in the alleyway behind the nightclub where the two had worked; seeing him awaken on a table after his damages were repaired, meeting her eyes, the realization that she was his new owner. The steadiness of his unflappable personality, the comforting familiarity of his presence—all of it was laid startlingly bare, simply because Inanna had no mental defenses to speak of.

She was relieved when Vanessa chose to ignore his presence. Ayreon glanced at Inanna, perhaps awaiting orders to go make himself useful elsewhere, but she merely gestured for him to follow as she fell into step behind her new master.

Vanessa’s question prompted Inanna to attempt to hide her mental processes somewhat, but it was flimsy protection, little better than a sheer veil. “Well, I started out in propaganda,” she began. “I worked for the Office of Imperial Truth. Moff Aerarii Tithe was my boss for a while…” A bored Inanna sitting in on a business meeting, seething under the burning gaze of a lecherous supervisor. “...and I did one little mission for Adrian Vandiir.”

She swallowed. It was probably obvious to Vanessa that the “one little mission” was of special significance—merely alluding to it caused Inanna’s mind to swarm with images of her homeworld, tainted by a peculiar sort of sadness and grief. “Then I got a job in one of his nightclubs on Zeltros—I was the assistant manager. At least, until something tracked me there and tried to kill me…” The flash of a vibroblade arcing toward her in a dark alleyway. “...That was when I realized I needed training. I tried to become a Jedi many years ago, but I was a lousy student, so I quit.”

Overall, her answers were designed to reveal as little as possible. She had given Vanessa a brief summary of her history since joining the Sith Empire, a history that only stretched back a little over a year. But she hadn’t bothered to explain her beliefs or why she had joined them in the first place.

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

As the two continued down the hallways to the elevator, Vanessa peered in, curious for obvious reasons about what she was able to see. "That's intriguing and all, but what about prior to that? You said something about having attempted to be a Jedi?" She said, as they would travel downwards into the elevator. They would continue to go down as she would listen carefully, doing her best to learn everything she possibly could about her new apprentice. Her weaknesses could be appropriately dealt with. She would think of a way to try and get the human replica droid to assist her in her quest to liberate Inanna from alcoholism.

"We should be there in a minute or two.:

Inanna Harth

 

[Inanna Harth]

As the elevator doors opened and both Vanessa and Inanna entered, Ayreon hesitated to join them, calculating whether his weight would be a problem. He took a cautious first step, then finally entered the lift just as the doors slid shut behind him and they began to descend.

Presented with Vanessa’s question about her past before the Sith Empire, Inanna hesitated, scratching her hairline. The motion caused her to duck her head, her face obscured by her raised arm, hiding the physical signs of her nervousness and trepidation. A useless gesture, given that Vanessa had the Force and could sense everything she felt.

“Prior to that, I was an escort,” she replied at last. “A call girl, or more bluntly, a prostitute. It’s a matter of public record, but not necessarily something I enjoy discussing, nor is it particularly relevant—I was a whore for forty years, but I never became an alcoholic or addict during that time.

“As for my Jedi training, you don’t have to worry about that. It was almost a half-century ago. I was only with them for a year, and I never progressed to the level of Padawan, let alone was assigned a master or built my own lightsaber.” She shrugged. “I honestly don’t remember much of what they taught me. I understand the basics—I know what the Force is and what can be done with it. But I’m not all that interested in doctrine or teachings. I just… want to be able to protect myself.”

And others, though protecting herself from harm had become the most pressing matter at this point. After what happened on Zeltros, she didn’t want to go through that again. The feelings of terror and helplessness… it was the second time she'd had to flee a planet as of late, but this time she was the target of their pursuers.

The minute passed, the elevator came to a stop, and with a soft chime, the doors slid open. Expelling a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding, Inanna stepped outside, followed by Ayreon.

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

Vanessa shrugged. “That’s unfortunate, albeit a bit similar to how my path to the Dark Side began. I was a slave from a young age. Has been decades and several bodies ago - I hardly remember how long, but I do remember eventually killing my owner in a burst of anger and escaping that hellhole. That really was where my trip down the Dark Side started.”

The doors opened to reveal a large athletic facility. There were exercise machines of various types everywhere in concert With climbing walls, an indoor multipurpose sports arena, and what appeared to be an obstacle course of some sort. Vanessa led the two to the latter as she continued to listen to Inanna’s story about her life before becoming a Darksider. She smiled at how Inanna had failed at her Jedi training. “Better a Sith than a Jedi. Jedi are quite stuffy.”

As they entered into the room in question, Vanessa smiled. “This room is capable of malleably adapting itself to a wide variety of different training conditions. It’s not the only way I train apprentices, no, but it is quite an ergonomic one, especially with some enhancements.“ She looked at Inanna. “Are there any... special things you desire in a lightsaber?” She was curious as to whether or not Inanna preferred standard weapons, or more esoteric types.

Inanna Harth

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna couldn’t imagine what it must’ve been like to grow up a slave, but something else Vanessa had said caught her attention: decades and several bodies ago. It could’ve been a simple turn of phrase, but Inanna wasn’t sure what to make of it. She didn’t ask questions, however. It wasn’t really her place or her concern.

“Stuffy, yeah,” she murmured. In actuality, she recalled the Jedi who had been her teachers and peers at the Academy were very nice and accommodating people, but she wasn’t going to argue with her master, either. Inanna was approaching the matter of her training from a "get in, get out" perspective. She was here to learn and practice, and no more than that. Once she had the skills that she needed, she intended to leave. But where exactly she would go once her task was done, she no longer knew...

At the question of lightsabers, Inanna perked up slightly. “Oh, um… yeah, I’ve always wondered about the lightwhip. Dunno if I could actually learn how to wield one myself, but it seems… I don’t know. More interesting to me.”

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

Inanna Harth

"The Jedi have this nasty predilection that that Dark Side is all "ooooooooh, eeeeeeviiiiiiiil." It's ridiculous." She moved her hands to overexaggerate the Jedi claims. "It's really not. It's what you make of it. Sure I've tortured and enslaved people, bombarded worlds, given in to my passions on numerous occasions. I've been a Sith in some form or fashion for decades, so that's typical. But one day, it came to me that I could be as feared as possible, yet when the time came and I lost my leverage, my allies would turn on me in an instant. That's the reason why I've done my best to support those who work with me and serve me. There's a reason a good number of the men and women aboard this ship have remained loyal to me for decades, and I in turn have provided them with the means to continue living a successful life."

Vanessa cracked her knuckles as they would head into the training room. A hatch on the ceiling would open up to reveal what appeared to be a lightsaber hilt. When activated, it would prove to be a lightship, albeit one set to 'training' settings. The entire room around them would seem to disappear, warping into a void with a two dimensional plane upon which solely Inanna and Vanessa stood upon. A weapon was seemingly manifested, a sword of midnight black coloration. Black lightning seemed to manifest upon its blade, sparking and arcing as Vanessa's witchery was further infused into the weapon.

"It's time for your first lesson." She said. The good news about what Vanessa was doing was that it was an illusion, projected within the mind of Inanna, so there were no lasting consequences to her from any critical or fatal wounds. Vanessa took her blade and maneuvered herself into an aggressive stance. "You have the reach. Make use of it." She waited for Inanna to try and make the first blow.

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna had a vague sense that none of what appeared in the training room was actually real, but it felt real enough. She caught the lightwhip that dropped from a hatch in the ceiling in her hands, then looked up to see Vanessa holding a rather menacing-looking sword.

Given that she had exactly zero experience with using even a regular whip, she’d probably maim herself at the first opportunity. Sighing, she gestured for Ayreon to back away, held the weapon’s hilt out as far from her body as possible, and pressed the button to activate it.

A coil of alarm-red energy pooled on the floor beneath her hand, failing to even singe the simulated deck. Inanna started to raise her arm, not really sure what she was doing, but she went ahead and gave it an experimental flick, making sure to put plenty of force into the gesture. The whip arced through the air over her head towards Vanessa, its aim quite a bit off. Inanna pulled the whip back again, wincing as it brushed her shoulder on the return—it stung a little on contact, but far less than it would if the weapon was real—and struck again, harder and more purposefully this time, aiming to disarm Vanessa.

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

Vanessa focused on the palm of her hand, utilizing her tutaminis techniques to grasp the lightwhip's blade without her hand being burned as it came towards her. The task was easier given the weapon was at training levels, but she still was forced to exert herself as she coiled the whip's tip around her hand twice before pulling hard, attempting to either get Inanna off balance or to remove the weapon from her hands.

"Not that easy, is it? A lightwhip is raw power, Inanna. Only with great skill can its liquid-like blade be encouraged to follow the path you wish to travel."

Inanna Harth

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna managed to hold on, but at the cost of losing her balance when Vanessa pulled on the cord. She fell flat on her face, her arms stretched out over her head as she clung to the lightwhip’s hilt, and was promptly dragged toward her master across the floor, reeled in like a caught fish.

All right, so she wasn’t much good at this. It was her first day, after all.

“I get it,” Inanna muttered, her voice muffled by the awkward position of her body. Twisting her form unnaturally, the Shi’ido rose to her feet, her expression sour. “I’m here to be taught and to practice my skills, aren’t I?”

She jerked the whip out of Vanessa’s grasp. “I’ll do it again,” she said, backing up into her original position. She had dealt with worse humiliations than this. Why, being rejected by AMCO was more excruciating… and that had hardly been exquisitely painful.

Again she flung the whip, ready to do it as many times as was necessary in a single-minded pursuit of getting it over with.

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

This second strike was nearly at the right distance, but a bit too high. Vanessa whacked it to the side with her sword. "You're getting distance right, but you need to be more precise with your strikes." She said. "Remember, a lightwhip is a fluid weapon with only enough rigidity in it to mimic an ordinary whip. Imagine you're drunk and trying to use this to whip the bird that just offloaded its waste on your speeder."

She waited. "Try again."

Inanna Harth

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna at least cracked a smile at Vanessa’s colorful metaphor. Birds defecating on her speeder, eh… She imagined her master’s sword as the bird, and aimed squarely for it. Another miss. Why couldn’t she seem to connect the Force to her reflexes?

Given her proven talent with telekinesis, it should have come naturally to her. Telekinesis required the ability to envision the world around her through the Force, everything bound and penetrated by the energy field. But on Zeltros, when the assassin had attacked her, no danger sense had warned her beforehand. The assassin was outside the energy field, disrupting it. She perceived the female biot as a void in the Force, something she couldn’t predict or persuade or trick. Inanna didn't know how to fight. She could only run and hide and run again whenever she was found out...

“If you want to escape, do it now Ms. Hoole!”

She remembered the red-haired woman in the black gown shouting at her from across the alleyway. Ingrid L’lerim. She was Adrian’s mistress, chief among his concubines. They had never met before that day, and yet this was the first impression Inanna had made upon the woman—that of a powerless, terrified civilian, a girlish waif fleeing from a machine that the sorceress was able to disarm within seconds. She imagined, for a burning, bitter moment, the lovely redhead returning to Adrian's apartment afterwards, telling him all about the crazy events of the night. All because of that incompetent Shi’ido woman he had hired as a manager of his club, the one who tried to seduce him and failed, yes, that one. She had the Force and all the untapped potential it promised, but a common vibroblade was enough to nearly end the poor wretch’s life! Can you imagine?...

Inanna’s lashes with the lightwhip increased in speed, precision, and force, fueled by her anger and frustration and shame. She was not seeing an annoying bird perched on a speeder hood anymore. Instead her target had become a vision of her past self in that moment in the alley, cowering, useless, relying on the assistance of others at a critical moment. Inanna struck at the image as if she could reach through time and whip herself into shape. Fight back! Defend yourself! Do something!

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

Vanessa would continue her process of deflecting the strikes from the lightwhip as Inanna grew more and more precise in her targeting with the weapon. Eventually, she dropped the weapon and merely began to manifest targets that shattered upon Inanna successfully striking them with the whip. The hatred, the anger that she felt seeping from within Inanna over whatever past wrongs she had experienced was helping her to focus her abilities with the weapon. Eventually Vanessa would back away from her, getting out of range of the whip as everything appeared to return to the interior of the training room, including the personnel around her. What she had experienced was nothing more than a grandiose illusion that had successfully pervaded her senses. Even the lightwhip in her own hands would vanish.

"Now, are you ready to have a real fight?" Vanessa inquired, curious as to whether Inanna thought herself ready for the next step.

Inanna Harth

 

[Inanna Harth]

“Now, are you ready to have a real fight?”

Panting, Inanna stared at Vanessa. Their surroundings had changed yet again, fading away. Her hands were empty, and so was she.

“Yes,” she answered, even though fear knotted in her gut at the idea. “I’m ready.”

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

Vanessa smiled, reaching into the confines of her robes. She tossed Inanna a weapon, what appeared to be a lightsaber with a number of thin barbed tassels on it. She would point at Inanna's droid companion. "I suggest you leave the room and wait for us. We will both come out alive, that I assure you, but I would not want to risk you being unnecessarily harmed in what is to come." After he left. the room once more became dark, though it was obviously the training room as the darkness seemed too artificial and the glow of Vanessa's sword was still gleaming. The screens within the room seemed to shimmer, producing an effect as though they were within a digitized world.

It was then that Vanessa moved to charge at Inanna with her weapon. "Focus! Use your emotions!"

Inanna Harth

 

[Inanna Harth]

Ayreon glanced at Inanna for confirmation. She nodded. “Wait for me outside.”

Once the HRD was gone and she heard the door behind her slide shut, Inanna examined the Darkwhip in her hands. There was no activation button to turn it on. Puzzled, she looked it over, thinking perhaps it was hidden elsewhere on the hilt, but she still couldn’t find it.

Vanessa’s sword hummed with malicious energies, and her voice rang out in the shifting training room. Inanna tried not to panic as she said, “I’m sorry, I can’t seem to find the button—”

Danger sense flaring, she glanced up in time to see Vanessa charging at her. She raised the Darkwhip instinctively, but even when she struck at her master, the whip would not turn on. Vanessa batted it away easily with her sword. Inanna supposed she was lucky it hadn’t cut clean through the tassels.

Vanessa was still coming at her. Inanna kept striking, although panic and alarm weakened her technique. She winced as the tassels licked at her skin following a poor shot, though since the weapon was not ignited it was merely a lash, not a burn.

This was all her fault, of course. She was too dumb and dull-headed to find the activation switch. Now her stupidity was going to get her killed—and in her very first training session! Damn it all!

Inanna’s rage and self-hatred flared once more, belying her terror and uncertainty. So did the Darkwhip. A black mist foamed out of the weapon, and a dark tendril of energy flicked out from the hilt. When next she struck, it was with serpentine precision as the coil fed on her negative emotions.

It occurred to her that Vanessa must have engineered this moment, manipulating Inanna into giving into her anger, fear, and loathing. But rather than clearing her mind and cooling her temper, that realization only enraged Inanna further. She struck hard and she struck true.

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

If Inanna looked closely, she would see Vanessa smile as the dark arc of energy emerged from the hilt of the weapon, joining the barbed tassels as the Sith Lord was appropriately pleased. “Good...” Vanessa deflected multiple strikes of the whip and tassels, her hand grasping the latter between the barns as her sword deflected the truly lethal portion of the weapon. She held her non-sword hand out and attempted to use the Force to push her apprentice back. The whip lashed out aggressively towards her as she smiled happily - Inanna was reveling in hatred, and this was precisely what she wanted. She came in for another slash as Vanessa sought to further hammer home Inanna’s submission to darkness. She focused upon the Sithling’s mind, reading more about how and why the woman had found herself exiled from home.

“You fool.” She said, striking with a conservative slice from the left. “You never suggested to your father that he copy the data. He could have decrypted those secrets and you wouldn’t be an exile from your own people.” She smiled as her hateful words lashed not at the body but at the spirit of the Shi’ido. “I will have to make sure to tell your father and mother how unintuitive they are when I go to Lao-mon and kill them both.” If that didn’t rile Inanna up, nothing would.

She would have to find out.

Inanna Harth

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna had no defense against the telekinetic push Vanessa sent her way. She was knocked backwards, her feet scuffling across the floor as she struggled to stay upright. Her ribs ached from the blow, but far more stinging were the words coming from her master’s mouth.

“That… won’t be so easy,” she replied defiantly, meeting Vanessa’s leftward slice with the Darkwhip. “My father… is a great Jedi Master. He captured the demon that was sent to kill him, and made it serve him… I’m sure he could handle you just as well!”

She didn’t stop to think about what she was saying, what she was revealing. Her thoughts were never her own, true, but she should have been able to keep her mouth shut. Apparently not.

Lashing out in three rapid cracks of the Darkwhip, she snarled, “I couldn’t let him have the data! I made a deal with Adrian Vandiir—I had to follow through! I kept my word to him—and I kept my family safe!...”

They would have all been hunted down like animals and slaughtered by the Sith. They’d already come to the planet once before, attacking Inanna’s ex-lover and his daughter. And Adrian had sent that demon along without Inanna’s knowledge… yes, she had done the right thing. Even though it had cost her dearly, it had to be done.

But Inanna was surprised her father had let her destroy the data. He was so dead-set on releasing it to the public, and he could have easily stopped her. But he didn’t. Instead, he had disowned her.

Had he wanted to get rid of her all along?...

Despair gnawed at the edges of Inanna’s psyche. He must have been able to see into her mind, read her thoughts, just as Vanessa and Adrian and everyone else with a decent Force connection could. He must have seen what she had done while she was gone. She had strayed so far away from home, becoming a person he didn’t recognize. At times she didn’t even recognize herself anymore. Why would he want a daughter like that? A failure, a whore, a traitor...

Tears began pouring down Inanna’s face, mingling with black blood from scratches where she’d accidentally struck herself with the Darkwhip. She kept fighting, but her vision was growing blurry, and she was too worked up to wipe away her tears. All she had was her Force perception, her pain, fear and loathing.

Onrai

 

[Onrai]

“A great Jedi Master?” Vanessa smiled as she became more easily capable of deflecting the less focused and more haphazard strikes from the Darkwhip. She had touched a nerve, and Vanessa knew it. “I have killed so many Jedi in my lifetime. Masters, knights, Padawans... He will be no challenge to me. Nor will your mother be.” She was so satisfied to watch as whatever was left that was light within the heart of Inanna was slowly but surely eaten away by her passion. “Your family is not safe. The Sith will kill them. Their remains will be ground into nutrient paste and served to the hungry. Do you honestly believe Adrian will let your family live?”

Those three strikes were soon rebounded and met with a quick burst of Force Lightning towards Inanna. “I’m disappointed in you, Inanna. Why would you believe the Sith were going to let Jedi live? Once we’re done here, I will give the order: they are to be killed by my assassins. It’s what they deserve, and you should know it after all. They did abandon you and disown you.” She let further harsh words sink in as she attempted to once more electrocute the Shi’ido.

“Let your carnality and lust for drink run free. Let them consume you, so you may forget how little you mean to them, and how unwilling they were to accept your life choices.”

Inanna Harth