I've always considered my personal reputation on SWRP: Chaos to be an important role in my place within this Community, as funny a notion as that might seem to others on an internet forum. I've been accused of taking it a little too seriously at times (This is true!), yet I feel it's important that others see me as someone who's approachable and that I'll treat those who do come to me with mutual respect and integrity.

Five years back when I first joined, I was told that people shouldn't come to Chaos to make friends, but to write. At the time I knew they were emphasizing the fact that this is the Internet, gossip is wide-spread and few around here know other members outside of Chaos itself, in the real world. While the sentiment was understood, being a like-able member and getting along with everyone I possibly could in this Community was always, and continues to be of crucial importance to me.

I believe that anyone who does their utmost to carry themselves with integrity, should also take accountability for their faults or mistakes. It's not always an easy thing to do, but in doing this I've always felt that those who were wronged are given a chance at feeling relieved/exonerated/respected. Accountability is the motivation for this article, as despite my intentions, I'll be the first person to admit that I'm flawed and capable of screwing up.

I recently took a bit of a hiatus from Discord due to stress and depression getting the better of me. After losing my patience several times, I stepped away to try to take a break and only returned in order to communicate with my peers in the Silver Jedi Order and the Bryn'adûl across the current Invasion of Yurb. I haven't yet resumed my responsibilities as a Faction Admin, but I will continue to do so when my I feel confident in my ability once more.

However, there is another Faction on my mind today that I feel deserves to be acknowledged, and I do so knowing just how heavily the gossip and drama of third parties can influence our opinions and views of Factions and Groups we are not part of. I am guilty of holding the Confederacy of Independent Systems in a negative light due to what I have heard from others, and up until recently, I chose to avoid participation within their narrative unless it directly affected the Factions that I was a part of. I was under the influence of believing that they were a source of the drama others were telling me, and that it would be easier to steer clear of them. I was wrong.

Returning from my short break from Discord I've been making an effort to change where I felt my faults were strongest. Recently I created a Mandalorian Character Kauri Kryze, having no previous experience in said factions beyond going to war against the United Clans of Mandalor. A time most of us will at-least be aware of. Over the last few days, I have created another character Danielle Mueller who I have since placed within the Confederacy, and been both humbled and astonished by the warm welcome that I've been given. While my time with them has been thus far short, it has opened my eyes to this flaw in my recent behavior and view of others.

There were times I questioned the alliance with the Order of the Silver Jedi, and later supported it once having been talked around in the issue. I have been involved in their Invasions and have enjoyed their writing over the years, but never been directly involved or overly shared any interaction with them until lately. What I find myself feeling is remorse for having allowed myself to be led astray when I know how important it is to judge not by gossip but by personal experience and coming to know a person or group for yourself. The fact that I allowed myself to be caught up in this form of toxicity isn't something I enjoy knowing and as such, I'm writing a verbal apology to the Confederacy of Independent Systems here and now.

Out of Character context can so badly damage In-Character content and our general enjoyment of the Community, and while I'd like to say I was above that, I'm not. I've seen and spoken to others in the past who have experienced instances of this sort of negative influence, and I've also been on the receiving end of being judged by someone who I've had no direct interaction with, nor understood or was even made aware of their reasons why.

I suppose that, while I'm acknowledging my guilt in this and apologizing for it, I'm also mindful of others that may be drawn into making a similar mistake. Factions on Chaos are wonderful things, yet no one is perfect and we are all capable of making mistakes. While we cannot be sure to get along with everyone we come across, I hope that if you take anything from this, it's to base your opinions upon your own experiences, and be open-minded when engaging with those that your friends or fellow faction members may have had their own personal issues with.