What's New
Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved Species Yularen

Status
Not open for further replies.
Major Faction

Vulpesen

The Arch Wilder
Vulpesen
Character Bio
john-tedrick-db1.jpg
[SIZE=9pt]OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Intent[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: To Add to the roster of Veradune’s deadly fauna[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]​Image Credit[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: [/SIZE]https://www.artstation.com/tedrick94(Artist page)
  • [SIZE=9pt]Canon[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: N/A[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Links[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: N/A[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]GENERAL INFORMATION[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Name[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Yularen[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Designation[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Non-sentient[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Homeworld[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Veradune[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Language[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Purrs, yowls, and other large cat noises[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Average Lifespan[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: 200 years[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Estimated Population[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Planetary[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Description[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Prowling silently across all levels of the forest, the Yularen is known as one of Veradune’s most terrifying hunters, using its dark fur and poisoned tentacles to pounce upon and incapacitate before the unfortunate creature even knows it's in danger.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]PHYSICAL INFORMATION[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Breathes[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Type 1[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Average height of adults[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: 1.2 meters at the shoulder[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Average length of adults[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: 3 meters from nose to tip of tail[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Skin color[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Grey[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Hair color[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Black[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Distinctions[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: [/SIZE]Possessing six legs with fur padded feet, the Yularen is capable of stalking silently across most terrains using its hexapedal nature. On its back, the Yularen has two tentacles, the underside of which is covered in two inch barbs which attack and rip at flesh, allowing a powerful neurotoxin, [SIZE=9pt]meant to [/SIZE]paralyze its prey for at least three hours, to enter the bloodstream via the wounds. This toxin is secreted from glands within the pads at the base of the barbs. Easily making up two thirds[SIZE=9pt] of the beast’s length, the Ylaren’s whip like tail is used to attack threats that might come at it [/SIZE]from[SIZE=9pt] the rear, either lacerating their flesh with quick strikes, or wrapping around limbs and throats to pull them into the creature’s more deadly natural weaponry. All of these, in addition to lethal claws are hidden in the creatures pitch black fur which allows it to hide like a shadow within the depths of Veradune’s forests. When born, the young Yularen don’t possess their venomous tentacles, only two spiked pads on their back which harden and become lethal about a week after birth. These pads will grow into tentacles over the course of several months. Besides genitalia, there is virtually no difference between males and females.[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Races[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: None[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Strengths[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=9pt]Paws made for silent walks through the forest[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Claws made for climbing trees and rending through the flesh of prey[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Pitch black fur aids in hiding from prey[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Venomous Tentacles cause paralysis lasting at least three hours[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Whip like tail[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Sensitive hearing can be used to find prey[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Nocturnal nature allows them to see well in the dark[/SIZE]

[*][SIZE=9pt]Weaknesses[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: [/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Fur is easily pierced by most weaponry[/SIZE]
  • Very sensitive to light
  • [SIZE=9pt]Sensitive hearing can be overwhelmed[/SIZE]
  • Its body is comparatively weak to other predators on Veradune(a large humanoid such as a Gamorrean can probably withstand a full pounce without falling over if they see it coming)
  • Will usually give up a hunt after its first ambush has failed
  • Usually avoids bodies of water as it can temporarily wash the poison from its pads(10 minutes or so)

[SIZE=9pt]CULTURE[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Diet[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Carnivorous[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Communication[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Large Cat noises[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Technology[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] level: No Technology[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]Religion/Beliefs[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: N/A[/SIZE]
  • [SIZE=9pt]General behavior[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: Yularen prowl across all levels of the forest once the sun goes down, using their long sharp claws to climb up to the canopies, and their agile forms to descend to the forest floor when it suits them. Stalking through the forest, the Yularen looks to ambush prey before leaping at them from a higher point. Upon landing upon its prey, the Yularen will sink its claws and fangs into its prey before striking it with its venom pads until it ceases moving. Smaller prey will then be carried up into the canopy while large prey is usually eaten on location. When threatened, the Yularen will display its pads in a threatening display before running off from an obviously advantaged opponent.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]HISTORICAL INFORMATION[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Living within the Veran Forests, the Yularen have always posed a threat to zorrens who entered the forest, being seen as one of the deadlier ambush predators on the planet. However, upon learning to used ranged weaponry, the Zorren people did learn to harvest the Yularen’s toxins for their own use, though such hunts were rare due to the risks that they involved and how deep the Yularen usually resided within the forests. This rarity makes Yularen pelts prized trophies among Zorren hunters and their poison is often sold for large [/SIZE]amounts[SIZE=9pt] due to its effectiveness. While not the most lethal of predators on Veradune, the Yularen is rarely bothered by other creatures, its main dangers being creatures such as the Gairthix and Zipher who are capable of killing them before they can get close enough to use their poison pads. Instead, the Yularen prefers to hunt purely physical creatures such as the arlusk who's strength matters little once its been paralyzed by the paralyzing strike of their tails.[/SIZE]
 
Major Faction

Ras'kala'han

ʜᴄ sᴠɴᴛ ᴅʀᴀᴄᴏɴᴇs
Ras'kala'han
Character Bio
[member="Vulpesen"]

As it stands, we just need to change these things, then I'll be happy to give this submission my stamp.

Religion: Unless the Yularen actually practice a religion, please put "N/A' in this field.

Strengths/Weaknesses: First, within the "Strengths" section, note the paralytic effects of the venom, and please note its onset period in addition to its duration. Second, as it stands, this species' weaknesses do not balance its strengths. Let's go through them point-by-point.
  • No natural defense: The lack of a specific type of special ability is not a weakness - it simply means that the species does not possess that particular strength. A weakness needs to be an active vulnerability or detriment faced by the species.
  • Sensitive hearing and smell can be overwhelmed: While this is workable, it also contains the implication of an unspoken strength: namely, that the Yularen has very strong senses of hearing and smell - if they do, please note that in "Strengths."
  • Claws and tentacle pads cannot pierce metal-equivalent armor: This is not a weakness but the lack of a special ability, as noted in the first item.
  • Sometimes hunted for their toxins: Without further explanation, I do not see how a species being hunted affects its ability to perform in any given situation. Likewise, you mention in the species' history that such hunts are "rare," which likewise weighs against how impactful this weakness is.
Given that the creature is stealthy, climbing, and multi-limbed with a very powerful paralytic venom (several hours' duration), please add more weaknesses or modify your current weaknesses to balance them with the strengths of your submission.

History: As it stands, this species' history is could stand some more detail. It would be very much included if you beefed it up with information on a few topics like, for example, the species' evolution or the place it occupies in the Veran Forests' food chain, or more story about the hunting industry and their relationship to the Zorren people. Just increase the length and content slightly and that will be a-plus.

I'm looking forwards to approving this once the changes are made!
 
Major Faction

Vulpesen

The Arch Wilder
Vulpesen
Character Bio
[member="Darth Vesper"]

Fixed the religion section and did a slight overhaul of the strengths and weaknesses. Sections were added to distinctions and behaviours to tweak said strengths and weaknesses.
I removed their sense of smell as a large factor and specified on their hearing.
I also made them nocturnal creatures with a sensitivity to light which will make any bright source of light quite a bit of trouble for them.
Mentioned that on a pLanet with giant sand crocodiles, and moose sized rams, they're actually fairly weak physically.
Made them purely ambush creatures
I overhauled their venom to make it a poison that is introduced to open wounds caused by their barbs. This allows the poison to be washed away if water is applied directly to the pad, thus making them incredibly reluctant to swim through bodies of water.

And of course, I added a bit more to their history.

If you want any more weaknesses, I might need a lil help. Panthers seem to lose a few weaknesses when you turn them into space poison panthers, but I did what I could.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 6 (members: 0, guests: 6)
Top Bottom