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Codex Denied Xasos

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: This planet is made for roleplaying
  • Image Credit: none
  • Canon: None
  • Permissions: None
  • Links: None
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Planet Name: Xasos
  • Demonym: Xasoions
  • Region: Unkown Region
  • System Name: Xasosium
  • System Features: Star name: Hundalium | Other planets: Ojaro closest, Durcalla 2nd, Xasos 3rd, palatula last. | Xasos's moons: Xandari and Turiu.
  • Location: In between Volik, Shcesa, and altieria.
  • Major Imports: Raw materials, Durasteel, fuel, food of all kinds.
  • Major Exports: Weapons, blasters and Gundanbard vibroblades and ships, and rare natural materials.
  • Unexploited Resources: Aulasteel ore
GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION
  • Gravity: 93% Standard
  • Climate: Temperate.
  • Primary Terrain: Forested, oceanic, and some mountainous regions.
  • Atmosphere: Type-1
LOCATION INFORMATION
  • Capital City: Xasos Hybrim(east), Aljani(West)
  • Planetary Features: The planet is mainly rural but has pockets of urban areas.
  • Major Locations:
Xasos Hybrim- This is the east capital city of xasos. The city is well known for its ship building, and for holding the east xasos senate building. This city is located in the forested regions of Xasos. This city is a mid size city, has a population of around 28000 people and is densely populated.
Ajani- This is the west capital of Xasos. This city is known for its exports of weapons to other Gundanbard planets. This city is smaller than Xasos Hybrim, and is located in the mountainous regions of Xasos. This city has around 19000 people.
Ujaga- This is another major city in the East. This city is smaller than Xasos Hybrim, but is about the same size of Ajani. This city is known for shipbuilding and is located on the surface of the planets largest ocean. It has a population of around 18000, mainly workers and business people.

POPULATION
  • Native Species: Gundanbard, One of their home worlds.
  • Immigrated Species: Humans
  • Population: Moderately
  • Demographics: All kinds of races live on the planet, mainly humans and Gundanbard's.
38% Gundanbards
55% Humans
7% Other
  • Primary Languages: Galactic basic, Gardak (Gundanbard's language)
  • Culture: The planet was once ruled by the Gundanbard Empire, but then a war took place between the Gundanbard and the humans on the planet. At the end of the war the Gundanbard kept the west and the humans kept the east.
GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY
  • Government: West: Monarchy, East: Republic
  • Affiliation: none
  • Wealth: Medium, soon people who use the planets resources became rich, but the others are moderately wealthy
  • Stability: Medium, it is safe for the most part, but there is a certain tense feeling because of the planets war history.
  • Freedom & Oppression: The people of the east are free, slavery is non existent and oppression is unheard of. But in the west Gundanbard's are free and other species have no rights whatsoever. Some Gundanbard have war prisoners with no rights that are basically slaves.
MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY
  • Military: East: The people of the east fo have a military, mainly for defense from off world armies or the armies on their own planet. West: The Gundanbard are always ready fo a fight, they have large armies and a moderate navy.
  • Technology: Average to the rest of the galaxy.
HISTORICAL INFORMATION
In this planets history it has been apart of many wars, most including the Gundanbard. This planets surface shows scars of years of war.
  • Gundanbard Chaos 2000 bby-1500 Aby- The Gundanbard tribes were at constant war with echother.
  • Arrival of colonists 1650 bby- Humans seeking riches came to the planet. Small fights between the two races came often.
  • Valundor 1257 bby- The first Valundor, ruler of the Gundanbard tribes commanded all Gundanbard people. With this the planets lord Eindul, waged war against the colonists.
  • Colonists Resist 1255 bby- The colonists create small armies but are defeated by the sheer numbers and force of the Gundanbard armies.
  • Gundanbard civil war 987- 934 bby- The Valundor dies without an air leading to civil war over the throne. The humans us this to attack the Gundanbard on Xasos.
  • Unification 934 bby- The Gundanbard Warrior shaman of clan Ulsor wins the throne uniting the Gundanbard Empire. This leads to the 14 year war on Xasos
  • 14 year war 933-919 bby- The Gundanbard Empire attempts to over throw the humans rule of the planet, but the war rages on.
  • Peace 919-341 bby - At the end of the war both sides were exhausted, so they came to a truce splitting the planet between the two races. That was the end off the conflict, for now. This is also when other species arrived and the east republic was founded.
  • Pocket wars 341bby- 65 aby- Small wars broke out between Gundanbard and other species settlers.
  • Silence 65 aby- Most conflicts stopped and the Gundanbard Empire lost intrest in the planets entire conquest.
 
Last edited:
Varloc Varloc

Hey there! You have the settings for a planet that can really kick butt, but we're going to have to work a little bit on improving the submission, ironing out some info that contradicts, and add polish all over. This might seem like a lot, but please bare with me, this will make it all worth it in the end :)
  • In General Information,
    • In Region, please link to the Unknown Regions.
    • In Location, your image isn't working.
    • In Major Imports and Major Exports, could you elaborate? What sort of tech? What sort of raw materials? What types of food? What are rare nature materials?
  • In Geographic Information, in Climate, I believe you mean it's earth like? In that case, the correct term to use would be "Temperate".
  • In Location Information, you're saying there are no Major Locations? This can't be - this is a planet that has a moderate population, that has a capital city, that has rural and urban areas. That it would have absolutely nothing for you to note in this section is quite impossible. Please add a few things to this list, as well as a description for each.
  • In Population, in Demographics, you mention that all kinds of races live on the planet, yet in Native Species and Immigrates Species you only make mention of Gundanbard and Humans. Whether or not they are limited in where they can go to isn't relevant here. What other species are there? Is the planet primarily filled with Gungdanbards? Mostly human? You can try to give percentages of the population as well (for example, 80% Gungdanbards, 15% Human, 5% Other).
  • In Government & Economy,
    • For Affiliation you can write "none".
    • For Freedom & Oppression you say that people are free, but in other parts of the submission you mention that (1) many species are limited in where they can go to and (2) there is a monarchy ruling over part of the planet. That doesn't match - either they are completely free, or they are not. If they are not, where in their lives are they not? How does this affect their lives? Can the monarchy mess with people's lives if they wanted to?
  • In Military & Technology,
    • For Military, you mention "otherworldly armies". Could you have meant off-world armies? Because "otherworldly" refers to whimsical and non-realistic stuff in most cases.
    • For Technology, what do you mean by 'advanced'? On par with most of the galaxy? More advanced than that? If they're advanced in weaponry and ships, what about other forms of tech, like medical tech? A planet can't really be advanced on weaponry and ships but be backwards in medical tech, as an example.
  • In Historical Information, bullet points can definitely work when you're describing a planet's history, but these seem to be slightly all over the place. How long ago was that? How long did those things reign for? When did other species join the planet? What happened to the planet during board wide events? These are all important details that need to be taken into account when making a planetary sub.
Again, I know this seems like a lot, but you have a lot of interesting stuff here you could splash in - like the civil war, or how the planet was split into two sections for two different people, and other species. If you need help with these edits, tag me. Also please tag me once you've done all the edits.
 
Varloc Varloc Thank you very much for those edits! We still have a lot we need to go over, but this is definitely heading the right way :)
  • In General Information,
    • You still haven't elaborated on the Major Imports and Major Exports.
  • In Location Information,
    • It's great that you've added Major Locations, but you really need to elaborate more on what they are and what they contain. The sizes of the cities might be important, but there's so much more information that should be there too. What are the cities like? What's their history? What are some notable locations within them and why are they important? What could draw the interest of people interested in checking the planet out? These are all things you need to consider, and write about.
  • In Population,
    • In Demographics, please remove the "But only Gundanbard and their visitors are allowed to go to the west hemisphere." portion, as this does not fit here.
    • In Culture, I really need you to elaborate. You don't really mention anything about the culture here, only a touch of history. This should include information about daily life, society, arts, sports, religion, and more if you can elaborate on it.
  • In Government & Economy,
    • In Freedom & Oppression, you write that in the west, other species have no rights. Does this mean they are slaves? That they are off the grid in terms of rights? What about jobs? What about the freedom to leave there? These are all important things that should be mentioned. As I've asked before, for both parts of the planets, please elaborate on what the not-free means. I'm certain that you have a lot of ideas and see the planet vividly in your head - we just need to make sure that those who read about it can see it as well.
  • In Historical Information,
    • You ended the planet's history in 919 BBY. The board is currently in approximately 860 ABY. This leaves us with over 1,500 years that are unaccounted for, and you haven't mentioned anything relevant to the board's history either. You really need to fill this gap in.
Please tag me back once these edits are done, or if you need help with anything :)
 
Varloc Varloc

You really need to flesh out these portions of the descriptions to give a view of what is going on with the planet. Going over what was requested previously from the previous codex judge, there's still a lot more you can flesh out. When going through each portion, ask yourself "why" and "how this is affecting the people"

Create a narrative for the planet.

Bumping this to pre-codex so you can work on it please tag an admin or myself to move it. Thank you.
 
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