Private Those Who Walk The Path [Jend-Ro Quill]

[Caedyn Arenais]

Location: Jakku, Undisclosed Co-ordinates
Visiting: Jend-Ro Quill

Caedyn's first meeting with Jend-Ro Quill had left an impression, despite being of different minds when he had first encountered the Jedi Master, that impression had lingered on the Jedi Knight's mind. The Jedi Master was very forthright in his opinions, not rude but giving Caedyn the impression that the Master was beyond the formalities and 'image' of what being a Jedi was for most people, instead of focusing on the grit of the Galaxy that needed to be washed away.

A first impression indeed, and perhaps one that led to a few assumptions yet ultimately Caedyn had sought him out through the application of the Solitude Stones, and after some initial difficulty, he managed to find the old hermit. Jakku was not a world Caedyn knew well. This was his first time visiting and despite the recent presence of other Jedi, the Jedi Knight hadn't the affiliations to catch wind of it all.

The Repertoire descended slowly, seeking the hardened stone surface surrounded by nothing else but the sand that would've put the landing struts to the test, and the engines eventually powered down some small distance from where he sensed the Jedi Master to be. Disembarking from the Corvette, he told his droids to remain behind, Lexas who was his co-pilot and Chip who was an excitable companion that had formally been his fathers.

Reaching out into the Force, Caedyn allowed his presence to fluctuate in strength, bound to catch the notice of any Jedi Master seeking the peace of solitude in such a place. Before him were some interesting structures, made of the same stone that his vessel had landed upon. Who they once belonged to, he could only wonder, but today he supposed that the elder Master was all who remained of life in these parts.

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

Caedyn Arenais' ship dwarfed Quill's new home, an old sandstone Anchorite hermitage. Evening was falling, so Quill was barely awake. He shrugged into the remains of his outer robe - clumsily, thanks to the triangle sling that cradled his left arm. As the dust of the landing settled, Quill came out to greet his newest guest.

"Your Highness?" he said without mockery. "Jedi Arenais? Caedyn? Whatever you're most comfortable with."

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Caedyn, please" he replied, trying not to let his discomfort show at the title's mention. He hadn't been referred to by any royal title since his Family still resided over Commenor, as Mnemosyne's constitutional monarchy wasn't quite public knowledge yet. Although the more he did for them, the more he risked these kinds of greetings.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Master Quill" he said appreciatively, "I wasn't sure if my reaching out might give the wrong impression somehow, so soon after our last meeting, but you certainly left an impression I'll be honest" he chuckled quietly, sparing a glance to their surroundings. Jend-Ro Quill really had seemed to forgo any extravagance with regards to his home and possessions from what the Jedi Knight could see thus far.

"Plainly speaking, I wondered if you might share your views with me on the Jedi. I suppose Rorak-4 made me question some things, and if I am to better myself in fulfilling this role then I figure it's those alike yourself who could guide me...-If you were willing".

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

Quill shrugged awkwardly with the shoulder that wasn't supporting a sling. "I can be a sounding board. Devil's advocate. I can point out what's broken and tell you what I think might help. If that's good enough for you, come on in."

Inside, the old Anchorite hermitage offered decent shelter from nightfall. The stone walls soaked in heat during the day and let it out after sunset. Quill sat by his hearth and began building a fire.

"Rorak Four turned out alright. You meant well and you listened, and even if that's not enough to meet their needs, they got that sense of you. Refugee leaders see plenty of folks who pop in and try to solve everything, then leave. You want to make a difference, go back there sometime on your own initiative, show them they were more than a pit stop on the road to righteousness."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn nodded, "I'll take whatever you're willing to offer" he replied, following Jend-Ro Quill on into the hermitage, his hands drawing his cloak in around him so not to disturb any of the Jedi Master's belongings. While the Jedi Master sat and began to tend to the fireplace, Caedyn too found a place upon the floor to sit, crossing his legs and lacing his fingers above his lap, elbows rested upon either knee.

"I was glad to be in a position to help them, even if the help they needed wasn't what I had been informed," he said, a faint smile as he thought back to the somewhat awkward meeting; "I certainly didn't expect to be negotiating with yourself, among the three" he added with a smirk, a huff of breath in a slight laugh, amused though not wanting to appear rude.

"I have my own thoughts with regards to what does and doesn't work with regards to the Jedi and the Galaxy" Caedyn continued, his voice quietening somewhat, "I realize the Silver Jedi Order has its drawbacks, there've been mistakes made but also some great achievements in its time..." he pointed out, having gained the impression that Jend-Ro wasn't a fan of them in any sense.

"What it means to be a Jedi seems to vary from person to person, usually leading to some form of judgement or resentment among our own, it frustrates me" he admitted; "I know I don't share your experience, but I was curious to hear your thoughts and to know that I'm on the right path as a Jedi Knight, in an individual sense".

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

"Caedyn..."

Quill sighed and added fuel to the tiny fire. Jakku offered gnarled brush and dry dung if you knew where to look.

"You're asking me questions that you're more likely to answer by walking away, spending time with yourself and the Force. I think you're here because you have a hunger for authenticity. You're a philanthropist with staggering resources. You can do more good with a holocomm call than I have in a lifetime, and that's not false modesty, it's perspective. But it isn't enough to satisfy your soul, is it.

"Look at Matsu Ike . She's probably even richer than you, but she spends much of her life wandering to learn. I've visited quite a few obscure Force traditions in my time - but for Master Ike, it's her life's work. That's how she holds onto authenticity. Whether it works - you'd have to ask her.

"Or think about Romi Jade . If it's evil, she's fought it. She could be a queen just on general principle. But she's right over that horizon living under an abandoned irrigation facility, because that's how she centers herself in the authentic.

"Then there's Coren Starchaser . He outgrew his crusader youth, and then the Grandmaster rank. Now he leads humanitarian work, teaches, shows up when the great wars need him. The Force called him. He found his authenticity.

"Or think about Thurion Heavenshield and how much he's sacrificed for his people off at the edge of the galaxy. Or Tiland Kortun , brewing tea and healing souls at the other edge of the galaxy. Or Auteme , the lone voice of peace and scholarship in an order obsessed with thoughtless aggression."

The fire was a good size now. He set a makeshift kettle beside it and moved over to rest his back against the warm stone wall.

"To square yourself, to embrace yourself, you need to follow the Force and find your authenticity. It may mean walking away from what you thought you were. Say you could find people to take on the authority, the responsibilities, the wealth. Where would you walk? What would that path make you?"


Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Before I came to the Silver Jedi, I was first trained by Lief of the Je'daii Order" Caedyn replied, the Je'daii being the first thing he could think of when looking regarding the concept of being authentic to himself; "I found the Silver Jedi through a friend, during a time of personal hardship. I guess my Master was very much the same as what you're suggesting, although she'd hate to be considered a Jedi" he chuckled a little at the thought, shaking his head to himself and bringing his mind back in on the now.

"When my Order disbanded, I looked to the Jedi, knowing my father's history as a Jedi Master. It seemed like the best thing to do with my time, dedicating myself to helping people" he explained, "Although I only know two of the names you mentioned" he smiled, thinking of Coren and Thurion, both of whom had been role models in their own regard. Not just to Caedyn but to many of the newer generation of Jedi Knights and Students.

"You're right though, none of what I've done or try to do seems to fill the void...-The feeling that I need to be doing more, even when at times I don't know how I could do so. I've poured millions of credits through my families trust in the hope of creating better lives for those victimized by war, or by the Sith. You'd think that would satisfy me" he frowned, "It's ridiculous really, most people would be proud if these things. Not feel empty or as though they're not fulfilling their mark", he had always felt a little guilty about being born into a life of such financial wealth.

The Jedi were meant to be humble, to not cling to such things, and so he had tried to prove himself through utilizing all that he had for the sake of others where he could provide it...

"To throw that all away, leave it in the hands of someone else and try to start anew without all that?" he asked curiously, his gaze shifting in thought. He hadn't exactly considered it. What focus he had outside of the Order of the Silver Jedi was on Mnemosyne, trying to create homes for refugee's and assisting his humanitarian organization Lifeline Connect LTD. But this was about letting go of these connections and giving himself to the Force, and nothing else.

"I'm honestly not sure..." he admitted.

Jend-Ro Quill

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

"The things you've built are good. They'll go on just fine without you at their helm, whether that's temporary or permanent."

Quill took the kettle - the empty headshell of an ancient Imperial tactical droid - off the fire and poured it into similarly scavenged bowls. Brown-and-green polystarch powder puffed up at the water's touch and resolved into dense loaves, a full half-portion each. Quill offered Caedyn one bowl and dug into the other.

"Obviously I'm biased toward the simple life," he said as he chewed. "I spent too long at war. And I have the same syndrome as an ancient Sith Lord named Odion - others' presence can be overwhelming, painful. That's grown with my connection to the Force. I can't visit places like Coruscant anymore, can't spend long at Jedi temples or conclaves. Truth be told, even Romi's enclave was getting a little crowded.

"But fundamentally, I chose this life, I didn't have it thrust on me. I love it. It gives me time and room to...well, look. When was the last time you put aside all distractions and just sat and thought for half an hour? Not scheduled meditation, just being alone with yourself and the Force? Do you even have that option in the life you live?

"Take some vacation time. Stay here for a week." He gestured around at the empty hermitage and the desert beyond. "Got nothing but space."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn smiled at the mention of Romi Jade , "I don't know her personally but she was once a Padawan of my Fathers, and she's the Sister of my Padawan Kyra Perl ...Or adopted Sister...-Something like that" he said with an ounce of pride in his voice.

His own Padawan had been on her own wayward journey of self-discovery, and there were times Caedyn felt uncertain of whether or not he was the right person to advise her. At the moment, her being with family seemed to be the best option for the younger Perl, not to mention her father's influence.

"I don't blame you for your bias at all, and sometimes Establishments can have their downside. The more numbers they have, the more difficult they can be to maintain good in all directions. People are going to make mistakes, and those mistakes can often shape outsiders views of their Order or Enclave...-It seems to happen too easily these days" he expressed, although quickly adding "Your reasons are certainly fair, mind you. I'm a little relieved to be honest. I got the impression from our last meeting you might not have liked the Silvers so much".

"To be honest, a vacation does sound rather nice. My sisters' been fighting a rebellion against the Eternal Empire, she could use my help there I'm sure. My partner's also serving in the Confederacy, one of the few Jedi among them" he added, thinking of Asaraa Vaashe and her service not so far from the Silver border.

Of course, none of these was actual vacations away from anything but the Silver Jedi Order. Caedyn instinctively thinking of where he could offer his aide, as opposed to what might benefit he himself. Furthermore, he knew this deep down, despite being in denial about it. He never had been so great at dealing with his own feelings. Leaving the Je'daii in the first place had been replaced by the Silver Jedi, a distraction to fill that void. Although no one could replace Asha Hex, she forever his Master and greatest role model in his most impressionable years.

The offer to stay there on Jakku with Jend-Ro Quill came as a surprise, however, and a truly welcome and pleasant one; "That's very kind of you Master Quill, but I wouldn't want to be a bother" he said gratefully, leaning forward to take the bowl in both hands. It looked like bread of some kind, simple but also quite appetizing as Caedyn had been on a long flight to get there.

"What is it about Jakku that led you here, if I can ask?" he questioned, soon followed by another; "And what do you think I would find here?". There was something about conversing with the old Jedi Master that Caedyn found both intriguing and purposeful. He had come on a whim after Jend-Ro had made an interesting first impression, yet the more they spoke, the more Caedyn found himself curious about the older Man, and appreciative of the time that he was giving.

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

"I actually quite like the Silver Jedi," Quill said with his mouth full. "On paper I'm even a member. They came a long way under Elise and Coren. They're a powerful institution, the galaxy's largest formal Jedi order, and that means disappointment sometimes. Here's the thing, and it's a brutal lesson to learn. Doing the right thing has very little to do with loyalty. I believe in the Jedi mission, deeply. But I can't count the number of times I've needed to sit on the other side of the negotiating table alongside indigenous species and communities.

"As for Jakku - it's not Hoth, but Master Jade let me take a teaching position at her enclave, simple as that."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"They've taken the brunt of the war against the Bryn'adul and suffered a lot because of it...-Working alongside the Concord, I fear a lot of people have lost trust in the Silver Order's motives, and I don't exactly blame them, mistakes have been made but it's been difficult to watch as they're still home to me. An Order that accepted me when I needed them most" Caedyn replied, speaking openly.

The Concord's push to agree to the Triumvirate Alliance had angered a lot of people and rightfully so, yet as much as he hated the idea, Caedyn also understood it was something they were considering out of fear for the Bryn'adul's further attacks. Seven worlds were lost to that war only some months ago. The Silver Assembly had strongly argued against it, however, and the Concord had reluctantly conceded, yet the damage had been done and the public response had done an equal amount of harm to their reputation.

"I really can't fault the idea of getting away from it all" he admitted, "taking some time out for myself sounds like a true blessing, but what about those who depend on people like us? What if something happens while I'm too busy focusing on myself, that could otherwise have been avoided?". Was it selfish to turn away from everything in order to think of himself, or was it a matter of survival...-In a sense.

Jend-Ro Quill

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

Quill patted his full stomach happily and relaxed against the wall.

"And every Jedi says the same thing, so they're all always on, burning out, on edge. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying stop doing good. I'm saying embrace a broader view of what it means to contribute. Right now..." He indicated his arm in a sling. "...I'm healing, studying, getting my head on straight and preventing confrontation while some folks figure out if they're going to grow up. I'm also playing host to quite a few visitors on and off, people like you who need a sounding board." He barked a laugh. "Never been so popular.

"And once I've healed up and the dust settles, I'll get back to all kinds of other ways to pitch in and solve problems and listen to the Force. I'm not saying focus on yourself, I'm saying learn where the Force is leading you. Can't do that unless you make time to listen."


Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"I can't argue with that..." Caedyn resigned with a quiet chuckle, knowing full well there was truth to Jend-Ro Quill 's words; "Maybe I will take you up on that offer to stick around for a few days. Providing you can stomach the extra company" he mused at the expense of his own. He didn't want to overstep the Jedi Master's hospitality, as generous as the offer was, he would not overstay his welcome.

"I'm not sure I'll accompany you to this Enclave you mentioned" he added, his voice laced with a hint of apprehension and uncertainty. Caedyn couldn't help but feel his uninvited arrival might not be so well received given his presence at the meeting between the Sith, the Confederacy and the Silver Concord. He was only there to accompany and protect a senator at the time, and the Assembly did all the talking but it still felt like guilt by association, so to speak.

It was almost as though he felt he had lost the respect of his fellow Jedi. Or was it more that he had lost his own. It seemed too easy to dwell on his feelings and let his mind run wild, overthinking and going astray. The silence of the anchorite sanctuary that Jend-Ro had found for himself seemed like just the thing to pull him away from the troubles of the Galaxy. To get his head straight, as the Jedi Master had put it.

"Is there anything you suggest I should do while I'm here though?" he asked after a moment of quiet.

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

Caedyn Arenais

"The Enclave - it's just over the horizon to the south - it's a good place. Non-affiliated. I'm not visiting there just now for reasons too long to get into, but I'll go back soon enough. If you want to stay here for a few days, the offer's genuine. As for what to do while you're here...you'd automatically triple the number of available hands at my little hermitage. I heard Cotan Sar'andor say something once - not sure I fully understood it, but I think it applies here. 'Before enlightenment: fetch wood, carry water. After enlightenment: fetch wood, carry water.'"

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Whatever I can do to lighten the load around here, Master" Caedyn replied.

Thinking upon the nature of reverting to a simpler lifestyle, doing away with the unnecessary, Caedyn figured that the droids aboard his ship could be powered down and put on standby for a while. His Datapad and devices aboard the Repertoire could remain there and he would have to limit his connections with those outside of the hermitage for a few days. Small steps, and if he needed more time then he would go from there...

"Non-affiliated" he repeated to himself, leaving him to think back to the Svivren Jedi Enclave before the formation of the Jedi Coalition in the Outer-Rim Territories. He remembered what it was to be a mutual party among the larger Jedi Establishments. It was hard work, but then there was a certain sense of peace in being able to help whoever needed assistance, without fear of political resentments or obligations to any second or third parties.

"I'm not sure I'm ready..." he said, although his voice was withdrawn, and his gaze seemed a little lost with his thoughts. After a brief moment, glancing back to Jend-Ro as though he had just remembered where he was, he stumbled a little to save face for his vulnerability; "One step at a time I guess I mean...-A break like you suggested" he forced a smile, soon glancing down at his plate and finishing the last of his bread.

Jend-Ro Quill

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

Quill didn't say anything. The moment didn't require it. In fact it required the opposite - Caedyn Arenais needed time to think. Instead he took the makeshift bowls and scrubbed them out with sand. Full night was here, and a comfortable chill was setting in. The fire offered a pleasant contrast.

"I'm not poor by choice," he said apropos of nothing. "Well, by choice yes, by preference no. I just don't have any government patrons and I certainly don't believe in using the Force to make money. Everything you see here is bartered with my own salvage. I traded my ship for a holocron around the time I left Hoth and I've been bumming rides ever sense. All that to say, if you do want to help, your pocket change would go pretty far. Awkward request, I know, but a rounding error on your accounts would cover basic operating costs for the rest of my life."

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"I don't mean to sound spoiled or anything but I could probably afford to buy a year's worth of rations judging by the means that you live off of" Caedyn gestured to the bowls that had held their polystarch bread.

"Honestly, I feel guilty knowing how fortunate I was to be born into the family that I am and the luxuries that have come with it, but I do my best to put it to a good cause. I'm more than happy to help you however I can just for the time you've given me and your willingness to offer me your counsel, Master Quill" he said.

"Whatever you need, just name it" he said, offering a casual shrug as though thinking nothing of it. Truthfully, he was just glad to be able to offer Jend-Ro Quill something in exchange.

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

"Create a fund," Quill said immediately. "Just a generic diversified investment fund. Make the gains available as basic support stipends to Jedi who can't or won't draw on governments with all those strings attached. Enough to cover simple room and board, fuel for a ship if they have one, transport fare if they don't. Creating something like that would have all kinds of positive effects, and I don't just mean for my digestion. Right now, Jedi have five choices: sign on with the big empires-in-all-but-name, solicit donations like I'm doing to you, use their Jedi skills to make money, get a job and be Jedi part-time, or starve. So you wind up with big teams, Jedi billionaires, weekend warriors, and unwashed indigent hermits. Speaking of, if your ship has a 'fresher, I'd kill for a shower."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn blinked. Physically blinked at the suggestion.

"That's actually a brilliant idea...-I'd always thought about civilians in need, non-force users because I guess we're blessed by our sensitivity to the Force, but I've never considered that. Consider it done!" He replied confidently. It really would go a long way for Jedi of all types, no matter their associated Order or lifestyle.

"As for The Repertoire, you're free to use it however you like. You've offered me a place here, and I'm glad to repay the favour" he smiled; "Oh and if you see a datapad on there, you may be interested in checking out the Jedi Comport if you haven't already. It's a holonet app that my father created for all Jedi to use".

Jend-Ro Quill

 

[Jend-Ro Quill]

"This is...this'll change a lot of lives. It might even change the nature of modern Jedi service. Thank you." A tsunami of relief rushed through Quill as the stress of actually asking for something drained away. (That and the impending shower.) He got up excitedly and headed for the door, where he paused.

"Don't get me wrong, I more or less know my way around technology, and I know what the HoloNet is...but what exactly is an 'app'?"

Caedyn Arenais