Private Sssssmmmoookkkinnn!!!!!!

[Velran Kilran]

"Wooooow!" Velran said shaking his head. "You are going to put PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA?!"

The Emperor's brows furrowed his eyes lit with rage. Pineapple was the very bane of his existence with only the Sith rivaling it. The fact that this barely dressed apprentice would even dare to place Pineapple on Pizza was crazy. "In my Pizza parlor," Velran growled. "Pineapple is forbidden and anyone who is caught eating the wretched fruit will have their tongues cut off and displayed on my new capital!"

He shuddered at the thought of anyone enjoying Pineapple, such filth deserves to be purged. "Forgive my partner," Velran said. "She has gone insane I mean look at the clothes she's wearing or rather lack of thereof."

"Silence!" The leader bellowed causing Velran to jump back in shock, the rest of the cultists raised their blaster rifles trained at Velran's and Sicarius' heads. "Do not take us as fools!"

"When you have a genius intellect like I do," Velran said raising his hands. "Everyone is foolish in comparison."

"Continue to talk," the leader said removing his hood to reveal a puffy face and brown, patchy skin. "And I will cut your tongue out and sacrifice it to Warb Null!"

"Warb Null?" Velran said snickering. "The Sith Warrior is long gone."

"He lives!" The leader said. "And I: Noma is his speaker!"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius sighed as Velran was distracted by her off hand comment about pineapple on pizza. Honestly who took that discussion seriously? It was suppose to be a joke or oke discussion about people's preferences. Only an erratic crazy person would go into a frenzy at the thought of pineapple. Which was exactly what Velran was of course. Erratic and crazy.

"Next time you sit on that oh so lauded throne of yours I'm going to intentially put a pineapple on it so it spikes your lauded rear end" Sicarius growled back furiously as she rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You know you spend a lot of time thinking of the clothes I wear or 'the lack there of'. If we get out of her I'll happy to trade the 'lack thereof' for my unlikely survival from the brink of death." Sicarius finding comfort in going back to her scolding tone.

"Focus!"

"You're genius intellect lead us straight in the laire of a sith cult outarmed out numbered and without my lightsabers!" Sicarius whispered furiously but managed to put on a manic smile trying to imitate Velrans craziness. Which Sicarius had to admit seemed to be working.

"Warb Null has been dead for centuries" Sicarius retorted bluntly. Barely containing 'you old fool" muttered under her breath.

Normally she would just kill the cultist and be done with it but without her lightsabers or full access to her abilities her options were limited but to follow Velrans lead of talking crazy in the hopes the cultists would be bewildered for long enough to let them go.

Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

"Don't pay attention to my companion," Velran said. "She's a bit slow on the uptake, I mean look at her she can barely dress herself much less remember not to put Pineapple on Pizza."

"Silence!" The leader snapped, for the first time in what felt like years, Velran felt a chill running down his spine. The man spoke with authority something that Velran admired to the point where he had to admit he..... feared him.

"But only a little bit," Velran thought.

"You would desecrate the holy mask that Warb Null has constructed with steel forged from the fiery pits of Mustafar and combined with the long forgotten Sith magic arts!"

"When you put it that way....." Velran said shrugging. "I would say less desecrating and more putting it to good use."

"What makes you worthy of the mask?" The leader growled as the cult began to raise their rifles at the two of them.

"I'm the Emperor," Velran said. "I have saved my Empire from the brink of extinction and is rapidly expanding it as we speak! I demand that you give that mask to me as it will even the playing field against my enemies!"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius rolled her eyes

"If you spent half as much time planning things through as you did on my apparel we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Besides I like pineapple on pizza it was my favourite as a kid."

Still whatever else the leader of these cultists seemed to have the ability to cause Velran to shut up for once.

"You got him to shut up? You'll have to teach me that trick. If I could he'd have a muzzle and ball gag"

Sicarius sighed and had to resist tapping her foot in irritation and impatience as Velran did what passed for negotiation with the cultist. To Sicarius this was all a waste of time. The cultists clearly weren't going to give up the mask willingly and the only thing to do now was sieze the moment. Either attack or escape.

If you were such a great Emperor you wouldn't need the mask to even the playing field

Sicarius thought contemptuously. Still Velrans madness of method seemed to be working if slightly askew so Sicarius reminded herself of the lessons her Master had given her about patience and meditation. Usually it was to control her rages but extreme annoyance seemed an appropriate application of it as well.

Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

Velran recoiled his face scrunched up with disgust when Sicarius said she liked Pineapple on her Pizza. He wasn't sure if she said that to spite him, but if she was truthful, then perhaps a lobotomy could be in order. "You wish to retrieve the mask?" The cult leader asked. "Are you sure you know the power behind it?"

"Oh, I know It'll make me a God," Velran said smiling. "Not that I'm already a God, I just need Godlike powers ya know?"

"Are you serious?" The cult leader growled. "With that blasphemy I should kill you two where you stand!"

Velran's eyes lit up in shock as he retreated behind Sicarius. "If you shoot me!" Velran shouted. "I am not afraid to use Sicky Nius as my shield! But for the sake peaceful negotiations let me be worthy of the Mask of Warb Null! Surely a forger such as Null would want his creations to remain unused!"

"You want to be proven worthy of the Mask?" The cult leader raised his hand ordering the cultists to stand down.

"Of course!" Velran said pushing Sicarius to the ground. "You want her as a human sacrifice?! I can do that!"

"No," the man retorted. "You two will be undergoing a task that will test your meddle." He waved his hand and a portal shimmered into existence. "Seek out what I require, and you will be receive the Mask."

"What do you require?" Velran asked.

"You will find out when you go through?" the cult leader said. "Now go Emperor and Witch seek what I desire."

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius snorted at the look on Velrans face at her liking pineapple on pizza. Personally she didn't give a flying mynock what went on her fictional and fantastical pizza as long as they got out of here alive. Despite her masters teachings that a Sith should seek to conquer death Sicarius had no problem with a death in battle she just preferred it be a battle worth mentioning or worth something not the foolish quest of a deranged and obviously mad fool of an emperor.

Sicarius shook her head killed by a bunch of mad cultists in service of an even madder madman. So much for the glorious rise to power of Sith Lord her and her Master had dreamed of.

Sicarius crouched into a ready stance ready to attack should the cultists did so as they threatened to kill them both. Whatever the circumstances the current situation was she and Velran needed each other to survive.

"I'm about to die surrounded by the biggest morons in the galaxy" Sicarius muttered just loud enough for Velran to hear. Wondering if Velran was self aware enough to realise he was definitely one of the morons.

Sicarius mouth flopped open in shock and she scowled as Velran offered her as a human sacrifice.

"He's the supposed royal one! Royal blood should be worth more of a sacrifice!" Sicarius spluttered indignantly and hotly. She got up tempted to punch Velrans lights out. It wasn't just the betrayal that was standard for a Sith. It was the indiginity of it!

"Finally!" Sicarius exclaimed she started to march towards the entrance of the mysterious task then stopped "No this time you go first!"


Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

"I'm sorry in ancient times, the Sith would always sacrifice the weak willed!" Velran grabbing Sicairus' bony arm his fingers wrapping around it with an iron vice grip. "I insist considering that YOU siad that you were the biggest moron in the galaxy as well as the cult!"

"Excuse me?!" The cult leader exclaimed their weapons trained at Sicarius who was being pulled towards the portal.

"I know!" Velran said. "Sicky Dinos is just the worst! At least she has the self awareness to see that she's a moron. I mean only a moron would walk around dressed is such rags!"

The Cult Leader glared daggers into Sicarius while Velran flashed a grin. "It shows that she's not worthy of the mantle despite being a filthy Sith!" Velran said. "But let me take care of her and retrieve the item! Not only I will show that I am better, stronger, more attractive than her! But I will carry on Warb Null's legacy as the wielder of the Mask!"

"Very well," The Cult Leader responded curtly before frowning at Sicarius. "Do not test me again you scantily clad miscreant!" He growled. "The way you bluster around, you are the worst Witch I have ever seen!"

"OOOOHHHH!!!!! YOU GOT BURNED GURLLLL!!!!!!" Velran laughed.

"No GO!" The Cult Leader exclaimed.

Velran pushed Sicarius into the portal first before happily jumping through. As he soon as he crossed, he was greeted by the fresh scent of pinecone and the soft brushing of leaves.

"Well, what do you know?" Velran said his eyes growing wide. "Judging by this place, this could be Warb Null's castle!"

The Emperor stroked his massive moustache in contemplation. "The atmosphere is much different though," he mused. "If we are truly on a different planet, the ability to travel to planets without the use of FTL is..... Impressive."

Sicarius Hekate