Private Sssssmmmoookkkinnn!!!!!!

[Velran Kilran]

Velran continued to hold on to Sicarius's arm while he waltzed towards the Imperial Shuttle humming in the process. "I don't want to wait for our lives to be over," Velran sang under his breath. "I want to know right now what will it be I don't want to wait for our lives to be over. Will it be yes or will it be sorry?"

"Oh! It's a few kilometers away from the old Kira Fortress!" Velran said gleefully. "There are reports of Dark Side cultists trying to revive Sith Lords inside of the Fortress. Foolish, gullible idiots! If they spent most of their time actually doing something rather than hoping some thousand-year Sith Lord can guide them, they'll control half the Galaxy now!"

Velran plopped himself onto the chair pushing Sicarius on the ground. "A lesser person would be sitting on their rumps hoping for something to happen." he said looking down at Sicarius. "But a doer like me..... I'll be conquering the entire Galaxy by New Years Eve!"

With a couple of button presses on the control panel, Velran began to make buzzing noises as the Imperial Shuttle flew from the Eggman and headed immediately towards the surface of Onderon.

An hour later, the shuttle landed on the pink shrubbery of Onderon and Velran pushed Sicarius down the ramp while Velran stood over her. "IT'S TIME TO EVOVLE SICARIUS!" Velran shouted. "FROM THIS DAY FORTH! I HAVE BEEN...... REHATCHED!!!!!!!"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius scowled as she was dragged along behind by the mad man. Was he singing? Honestly this man was the strangest man she'd ever met and that included slimeball Hutts. Atleast she understood their greed as their driving motivation. This man while seeming to crave power was also quite erratic in his mannerisms. Seeming to have a normal conversation one moment and then singing to himself in public the next.

She couldn't help but grunt in amusement and agreement at his analysis of Sith Cultists. While studying various sith artifacts and tombs she had noticed the proclivity of some Force Users to guard and hoard the artifacts at sacred sites to a fanatical devotion rather than let them be used for practical purposes.

Sicarius amusement of his correct analyses quickly evaporated with yet another mad statement from the mercurial mad man.

"A doer like you?" Sicarius spluttered "You sound like a holo infomercial for health improvement of tyrants."

"How to conquer the Galaxy by New Years? A guide by Moff Velran. What's next? How to establish your own Secret Police?"

"By New Years. That's ambitious." Sicarius had decided insulting him had grown tedious, and just let her voice drip with natural scorn.

Sicarius shook her head in confusion while they took the ride to the surface.

"Rehatched?" Sicarius asked her face twisted into a grimace of disbelief "Do you know how evolution works? What are you the offspring of one of the Beasts on this planet?"

Sicarius tried to get the frazzled man focused on the mission at hand.

"Speaking of beasts on this planet. Did you do an aerial survey of our landing site and the location of the artifact? Or at the very least the fortress? What sort of resources do the Sith Cultists have? What sort of threats should we expect to find?"
Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

"I hate infomercials....." Velran muttered. "If I had unlimited power in which I will attain, I'd purge every informercial from Galaxy! The difference between me and an infomercial Sicarino, is that when I make a declaration, I'm not full of chit!"

He already had his secret police established already through the Butterfly Unit composed of clones of Akiya Orime . Who knew that her DNA sample could yielded powerful clones? Velran barely had to modify her genetic structure. "Have you ever heard of the Pheonix Sicarino?" Velran said. "I am that Phoenix egg who rises out from its shell. A lesser baby Phoenix would be reduced to someone's breakfast, usually cooked over easy to be complemented with Waffles filled with syrup. But pure genius like me fight and claw their way to be reborn bigger and stronger."

Velran smirked. "While you poor Sith grows weaker every day." He laughed. "You're more of a cockroach than a Phoenix my friend!"

Sicarius still thinks she's better than she actually is. Foolish, gullible girl, to grossly overestimate her intelligence is a tragedy but also a comedy. "Oh these Sith cultists are non Force-Users who are beast riders led by a Beast Lord named: Turon the Executer. Don't worry Sicarino! I'll just ask them about where the mask is! I know exactly how to speak their language!"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius concealed a grunt and smirk of amusement at having irritated Velran with the jab about infomercials. She'd have to remember that one next time she wanted to get him riled up. She wasn't sure many people even registered infomercials as anything but a minor annoyance, apparently it was enough of one that Velran wanted to 'purge the galaxy' of them. Perhaps that what passed for a minor annoyance in an egomaniacal tyrants mind. Which was an interesting insight into his psychology wasn't it? Even a minor annoyance could be cause for distraction on a galactical level.

Sicarius briefly thought Velran was gonna make a philosophical quote when the topic of Phoenix came on but it turned into yet another obscure rambling this time about easy eggs and waffles.

"So instead of over easy eggs and waffles you're what? Bacon and eggs?" Sicarius asked bemused and baffled by the rambling mind she was following into a potentially dangerous mission with. Without her lightsabers. Or her powers. Who was the greater fool the fool who believed himself all powerful or the fool who followed him?

Sicarius had been hoping for a mission briefing on the enemies they would face but all she got was a dismissive statement and a moniker of their leader.

Ask them?? Mad bastard!

Sicarius sighed as she resigned herself that she had little choice in the matter. Oh well if the fool died then she'd be free. Or would be once she figured out how to get this damned collar off.

"Very well. I look forward to a lesson in 'their language.'"
Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

"Bacon and Eggs are part of a nutritious breakfast!" Velran said walking alongside Sicarius. "Along with a cup of expresso filled with two creams and two sugars!"

He then turned his gaze towards Sicarius when she implied that Velran didn't care for Waffles. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Velran yelled. "WAFFLES IS THE LIFEBLOOD OF A GOOD BREAKFAST! IN FACT WAFFLES ARE THE FIRST TYPE OF FOOD THAT I TAUGHT MY DAUGHTER HOW TO MAKE!"

Under the careful tutelage of Velran Kanni Ugaiya Kilran was a master of making all forms of Waffles especially the Soapy Waffles a special kind of Waffles made by Velran himself. It earned that name because it made the taster burp out bubbles made out of soap. While delicious more research to the ingredients were needed to explain the odd phenomena.

Approaching the Kira Fortress Velran spotted a massive metal gate to the building. Oddly enough, there weren't any signs of sentries posted around the area despite Orendan's reputation of a planet stained by the Force. "Where is everyone?" Velran said aloud his fingers stroking his long moustache. "I guess we can knock on the door then!"

Velran turned to Sicarius. "Go ahead Sickreenus!" He said. "Let's be respectful guests! Normally I would just go in and kill everyone but I'm in a jolly mood today!"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius face twisted into a perplexed grimace as Velran tried to convince her what type of breakfast was most important. He was screaming at her about waffles of all things. Sicarius was used to a certain amount of banter in her interactions even with her enemies but this was just absurd. She was so perplexed and befuddled that she didn't have an answer. He did understand she was making a throwaway comment about the bacon and eggs right? not an invitation on an argument about deeply held beliefs.

Apparently it was a significant enough topic that he had taken the time to instruct his daughter on how to make them properly. Personally Sicarius felt sorry for any daughter who had to put up with such an upbringing. Which was saying something given that Sicarius upbringing had been at the hands of Nightsisters and Sith who believed pain was not only an important tool of instruction and discipline but also a crucial nourishment for any growing Sith. Much like… well much like a healthy breakfast actually.

Still their had been purpose and direction to her upbringing this obscure frazzled mind leaping from one thing to the next would have been difficult to track. Sicarius frowned and shook her head she had better get used to his tangents if she was going to survive being in his imprisonment. Sicarus approached the fortress with caution, that was thrown to the wind when Velran suggested they knock on the door of all things.

"Uuuuh… ok?" Sicarius went to the fortress gates, and knocked tentatively "Hello? Anybody home?"

Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

Once Sicarius reluctantly knocked on the door there was a pregnant pause the wooing sound of wind rushing through the cracks of the ancient fortress filled the silence. "You should've knocked harder Sickierenus!" Velran growled placing his hands on his hips. "I don't pay you for doing weak knocks ya know!"

Just then a small hatch sprung open revealing a mechanical arm and an electronic eyeball scanning Velran and Sicarius. "Kyoe ghey vali?! Hesbrini vae brofesi" (Who are you?! State your business) It spoke in a mechanical tone.

"Ahhh!" Velran clapped his hands with glee. "It's speaking in the proto-basic language, this dates back to the age of the Infinite Empire! Lucky for you Sicarino, I'm pretty fluent in this Cromag language. Who knew the elective class that I was forced to take at the academy could actually help us eh?

Velan took a bow pushing slapping Sicarius' exposed back encouraging her to bow. "Ni ghey drecroe kasiskoe, serki ha hakicvae harkefakoe!" (We are treasure hunters, seeking an ancient artifact!)

There was a pause before the person spoke. "Vali serki halikae ghey ni vae!" (You seek what is not yours!) he said. "Dreni ghki!" (Turn back!)

"Nun den sokn de maggi gnavoe!" (Now hold on there buddy boy!) Velran yelled getting close to the sphere furiously wagging his finger at it. " Min le mae nuda veski gunvoaedand kav boskven zal den voi dae ni dhogu sidi gioo harkefakoe gioo Minni serki! Si vali sl ni gunlaghoro, Minni vl sidi sikerlei ri bis preiroo!" (Me and my barely dressed companion has come all this way so we can get that artifact that I seek! If you do not cooperate, I will get really pissed off!)

"Vae minac sl ni dinl nin! Reiri hal gioo vali boskven dhun ni hakenda wokel palsae Imlunasiniroe! (Your threats don't scare us! Go back to which you came while we await the true Sith!) The sphere replied before retreating behind the wall laughing in the process.

"Whoops," Velran said to Sicarius. "Time for plan B, Sicky can you climb up the walls with me? Time to do some recon!"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius scowled and frowned with vague disapproval as Velran scolded her for being too gentle. It was the first time anyone had ever accused her of being that. Sicarius was many things, soft and gentle weren't among them. Not even close.

"You don't pay me anything!" Sicarius spurted "I'm your captive remember!

The perplexities didn't stop their as a droid device exited a small hatch and spoke an odd language. Sicarius was no linguist but it looked like the same devices some Hutt's used on their fortress entrance. She knew enough of the Hutt's language to know that that wasn't what the droid was speaking however.

"You speak the language? Of course you do." Sicarius asked incredulous. Velran may be a mad fool but he wasn't stupid… or atleast not exactly. He seemed to have an erratic level of knowledge everything from how to properly cook bacon eggs and waffles to obscure, ancient and archaic languages apparently. It was confusing to see him go from one mad moment to a rare moment of brilliance sometimes within the same breath.

The conversation went back and forth for a few moment. Sicarius was puzzled as to the specificis, but she was sure whatever the nature of the conversation, Velran was beign as bizarre as usual. Velran got rapidly furious as he was prone to do, before the mechanical arm and eye returned from the slot that it came from.

"Climb? Oh fine" Sicarus did a running start up the wall finding footholes in the ancient fortress. It was easy enough for someone of her physical capabilities but she wasn't sure how Velran would manage it. Perhaps it was within his eclectic set of skills that he seemed to have. "Wait what did the droid say? I don't speak much of whatever language that was but I know 'Sith'. When I hear it. Regardless of what language it is"

Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

"That is a LIE!" Velran said as he watched Sicarius climb up the wall. "I just so happen to pay you with experience! It's the best pay of them all!" Poor, gullible, Sicarius thinking that Velran isn't generous to his employees. Of course he was! It was the same reason why he hired her from Kegan, it just so happened that she tried to resist and Velran had to defend himself.

While Sicarius climbed, Velran pulled out his grapple gun and fired it. The claw landed on the ledge sending Velran upwards zipping past Sicarius, he landed on his feet looking around for any signs of sentries. It was odd that such a fortress supposedly containing the cultists would be so empty. What is going on here? "Oh, my goodness!" Velran yelled down at Sicarius. "If you stopped whining and focused more on getting to the top, I would've gotten my artifact by now!"

"Besides," Velran stroked his moustache. "It seems whoever these people, they are awaiting the return of the true Sith. I wonder who though....."

As soon as Sicairus was up top Velran shook his head. "Wow It's been 84 years!" Velran laughed. "Now my half naked companion, let us infiltrate the Fortress! FORWARD!"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius grimaced and rolled her eyes as Velran declared that he did in fact pay her. In experience. The worst thing was that Sicarius believed Velran was sincere. Crazy but sincere. He genuinely believed that he was somehow helping her.

"In that case a I want a reduction in pay!" Sicarius retorted huffily "The last thing I need is more 'experience' in being a prisoner! I have had enough payment in that regards! I might as well have opened a bank account with the amount of pay I've received in that regard!"

Sicarius frowned as Velran demonstrated how exactly he intended to scale the fortress walls.

"You just happened to have a grappling gun on you?"

Sicarius wished at that particular moment that she had one herself as it was she had to climb the hard way scaling the fortress wall with careful hand hold after hand hold.

"If you want your artifact so bad why don't you use those magnificent Empire resources! We have a star destroyer in space for karabas sake!" Sicarius reached the top and took a moment to catch her breath.

"If they were looking for Sith I could have gotten past them." Sicarius scowled and grumbled "Assuming I didn't have this stupid Force collar on."

"What's been 84 years?" Sicarius asked bewildered. She never knew whether Velran was imparting important information that could be critical to the mission or if it was as random as what to have for breakfast.

"Please. Be my guest go ahead and infiltrate."
Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

Oh, what's this? An employee who wants a REDUCTION in pay?! Now that's something you don't hear everyday. "If you want a pay reduction who am I as your employer to deny you that request?!" Velran laughed searching his pockets. "Here you go!" Velran said tossing a napkin at Sicarius' feet. "It's a used napkin! That's as low as I can go! Well part from either killing you and finding a new person to conduct my experiments or getting you actual clothes to wear."

Velran twisted his thick moustache. "But I assume you'll despise that." He said. "See?! Look at me caring for your well being! Am I a nice guy? Of course I am! Hell, I'll even let you write to your boyfriend assuming you even have one. Though judging by your..... catty personality it might be difficult for you to attract a mate to procreate."


Now to business, Velran ran towards a metal door and pressed the button that was integrated on the wall. The door swung open causing Velran to jump back in a fighting stance. "Nothing....." Velran whispered staring at the dimly lit hallway. "Orrr is that what they want us to think eh? Let's say you and I do some ROCKonaisance shall we?!"

Velran slapped Sicarius on her back. "ROCKonaisance!" Velran shouted while marching towards the hallway. "COME ON SICKYRINO! That's hilarious!"

He snuck through the hallway as quiet as a Rat, Velran's sunken eyes darted all over the place in search for any signs of life. Curiously, there wasn't anyone. "There's a reason why I decided to come here on foot rather than just use my Star Destroyer," Velran whispered. "Some things require subterfuge something that's definitely not in your vocabulary my friend. I want that mask, I crave its power because what it will bring to me will be tremendous."

Velran smiled in the process, pure unadulterated power at his fingertips. He could be more than an Emperor he could be a God. "Now....." Velran frowned. "Where could they have gone? Think Sicky Ds! Why are these people so private? They say that they are waiting for the true Sith but who?!"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius rolled her eyes at Velrans antics, they were becoming familiar and familiarity only bred contempt. She was getting a little tired of the comments about her clothing, not that she was modest by any stretch of the imagination, but a part of her was beginning to thin an occasional change in attire might be beneficial. If only to forestall the inevitable running commentary.

"In that case how about a suit of armor. Mandalorian beskar with a vibroweave and enhanced with Sith Alchemy. I can provide the alchemy the rest you can fit the bill for!"

She did however blush furiously as Velran commented an whether or not she could attract a mate of all things. That had never been a problem for Sicarius. She enjoyed the chase almost as much as the completion. To this day she wasn't sure if she had lead on her Master Angonous with constant teasing and suggestion or if he had delivered a slow campaign to seduce her. Either the result had been quite satisfactory.

"Rockonnosiance???" Sicarius asked in consternation "It sounds like a bad name for a trippy holo-festival. Oh is that what happened? You went to one too many festivals as a privileged youth took too much psychedelic enhancements and wound up permanently fried as a result?"

"Now it makes sense!"

"Subtlety isn't exactly the word that comes to mind when one thinks of you oh glorious leader of the Empie" Sicarius whispered back furiously I you ignored the manic ramblings it was a lecture on subterfuge her own master had tried to instill in her along with the dreaded lecture on patience. If she had to hear one more time to her request to kill Gula the Hutt with patience she might have taken up the time honoured sith tradition of killing your master.

Hearing it repeated by the unhinged and balanced Velran did nothing to improve her demeaner towards the concept of subterfuge.

Sicairus sighed as Velran finally stumbled onto a point.

"It's hard to say there have been too many factions of Sith rising and falling through the ages to pin point which sith empire or cult they're referring to or waiting for."

"Perhaps the faction that the owner of the mask belonged to? Either that or an immediate successor would make the most sense, perhaps the Sith Lords very own apprentice."

Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

Velran didn't think that Sicarius would actually be insecure with her lack of clothing. In fact, she was making demands out of Velran after ALL of the hard work that he went through to provide for her? The nerve! "Oh, about that," Velran gave a nervous chortle while stroking his abnormally large moustache. "The budget won't be able to fit your needs for that armor, I had to spend the 99 percent of it on the lab and boy..... It's filled to the brim with state of the art technology! I mean come on! How many labs have port a potty in them! NOT MANY!"

His voice echoed in the otherwise presumably empty room. Velran was trying to hype himself up doing his best to fight off the growing anxiety inside of him. Where were the people? Who was that watcher who spoke in ancient basic and what did he mean by his warnings? So many questions. It seems that poor Sicarius has been broken due to the lack of answers as well. "It seems that you have gone insane," Velran whispered to her. "I know you feel inadequate wearing rags but chin up! This is why we go expeditions! To see new worlds so I can conquer and pilfer them further adding to my legacy!"

Velran his fists with glee. "And by the way Siccy!" he said. "I was born a perfect child the only flaw is that I'm too tolerant to the imperfections of organisms who do not match intellectual prowess."

Sicarius did have a good answer though, they were waiting for the arrival of their master. "Interesting theory," Velran mused walking down the hallway. "Doubtful is related to the mask because Shas Dovos remains are not on Onderon so therefore his spirit isn't rooted here."

He knew plenty of Sith lore having studied Sith culture during the Empire's many wars against the Sith. A powerful yet self-destructive faction, the Sith were always bought down by their own hubris. Crazy bastards, if they just had a once of self-control, the Sith would've ruled the Galaxy for thousands of years. "We'll find out soon enough," Velran said seeing flickering multi colored lights straight ahead.

"Let us gather our party and venture forth!" Verlan whispered hoarsely before running the source.

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius, frowned and rolled her eyes in consternation at Velrans response. Whether or not a lab had a porta potty in it had honestly never been a consideration that had occurred to her one way or the other. Facilities were kind of a based assumption for any location one would spend significant amount of time in. A port a potty however?

"I'm honestly not sure whether that's impressive or underwhelming. From the way your describing it this state of the art port a potty had better have air condition perfume running through it! Next you'll tell me you have a high tech toaster attached! Hell how about a sauna spa while we're at it!"

Sicarius scoffed when she was the on accused of going insane.

"Say's the man who raves in random rantings about the perfect breakfast and whether or not there was room for a porta potty in the budget" Sicarius whispered furiously back "Whatever your legacy may be you will be called mercurial at best and more likely mad man."

"Whatever your childhood was I'm sure perfection was far from the truth of it. Something happened to you to cause these strokes of so called genius. Hell I'm not sure I could create someone so erratic through methods of torture and experimentations. Although I have to admit, it takes a certain amount of being touched at birth to produce these results."

Sicarius shook her head in confusion as Velrans five track mind returned to the mission at hand. It was like shifting gears of a pod racer as you hit your mark or dodged obstacles. You thought you were on a steady track and then the sudden shift through you off balance for a precarious moment before returning to a steady path.

"There does still seem to be a direct link. I suppose that if they're waiting for Sith it indicates there is a link of some sort. At the very least it means that the artifact hadn't been stolen by Jedi Shadows."

"Party? There are only two of us." she sighed "But by all means lets continue down the eery path into what is sure to be more reckless danger on the off chance there might be a sith artifact in order to preserve your glory in history."

With resignation Sicarius followed the mad men on the mad mission. Atleast he was in front.

Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

Velran and Sicarius' footsteps echoed throughout the hallway while Sicarius continued to ramble about nonsense about a sauna spa? Well sauna spas were going to be part of Eggmanland but how dare she be ungrateful that Velran graciously provided her and Akiya Orime high tech toasters! "Listen Suckaris!" Velran said running shooting his arms back in an exaggerated motion. "You must know that those toasters create THE GREATEST WAFFLES IN THE GALAXY!"

A smile formed on his weathered face. "I should know! I created the toaster that I provided for you!" Velran smiled. "They make soapy waffles so if you're going to continue to gaslight me and say that I'm this madman when In actuality I'm a genius, I'll just shove some soapy waffles down your throat! That should quell the insanity that you are feeling!"

As they reached the end of the hallway, Velran skidded to a stop as his eyebrows knitted into a frown. They arrived inside of a massive chamber filled with people their faces shrouded in dark hoods as they gathered around what appeared to a firepit cackling in front of a man who was leading a chant in ancient basic. "Looks like we know where they all went," Velran said looking at the massive sphere in front of the group. The Sphere was a bright white with sparks dotting all over the place as if it was stars.

"That's....." Velran said. "Looks like a starmap specifically a planet. Whatever that is, these people are praying over it. And they're so focused THAT THEY DON'T KNOW WHO THAT WE HAVE ARRIVED!"

Velran shouts continued to echo but the cult continued to chant. "Dedicated people," Velran said smiling. "I guess we can start looking around for that artifact eh?"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius had already gotten familiar enough with Velran she barely even hesitated in surprise when she found out there actually was a toaster attached to her laboratory.

"There's actually a toaster?! Of course there is, those waffles better be so rich they melt in your mouth. After all they were created by the greatest genius the galaxy has ever known."

Sicarius said the last time as dryly and sarcastically as she knew how but somehow suspected that Velran either wouldn't here the condescension in her voice or just outright ignore it. Either way he believed it to be true. Narcissistic insanity knew no bounds.

"Torture by waffles? There's a new one. I should try that on one of my subjects. Then again I guess I've done relaxation by electrocution before. A little controlled shock now and then does wonders for the muscles. Helps unclench after a strong workout."

As they reached the end of the hallway and arrived at an enormous echo chamber they were confronted by the site of cultists chanting in unison. Sicarius's first instinct was to crouch low and hug the wall and hope they didn't notice her. Velran's it seemed was to announce them as loudly as he could. Her breath caught in her throat while she waited for them to notice the pair, and breathed a sigh of relief when they didn't.

"Are you trying to get us killed???!" Sicarius whispered furiously.

Still as clumsy as it was his methods had tested the cultists awareness quite effectively.

"Let's just look for something on a pedestal. These cultist types either hide away their sacred objects in a secret compartment or vault. Or they put them on display to be worshipped. We should eliminate the latter possibility first. If not we can capture and interrogate one for it's location. Sooner or later everybody talks."

Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

Velran had to fight every fiber in his being to not laugh. It was so hard that he thought his ribs were going to crack from under the pressure to not unleash a giggle. "Sicarino," Velran said. "Aren't you supposed to be a Sith Lord?!"

The Emperor jumped on the table right next to a hooded figure who was mediating. His brown, sunken eyes locked with Sicarius', Velran then began to thrust his hips and began to sing as loud as he could. The chamber began to echo to the sound of Velran's voice.


As soon as Velran stopped singing, the mysterious figures were still mediating as if they didn't notice the two at all. "You see that my barely dressed friend?!" he said. "It looks like this cult is in deep Force Mediation, they're experiencing some sort of out of body experience."

He looked at mediating group. "I do suspect that 1/5 of them are actually Force sensitive," Velran surmised. "So, It's safe to assume that this guy right next to me is leading the charge." Velran pointed at the man who was mediating near the fire pit.

Velran chuckled. "As a Sith Lord I thought you knew about Force Mediation," he said. "Oh well, we can't interrogate buutttt."

He turned towards the Holomap ahead. "We can steal that thing and see where it leads us! You go first Sicky D! I'll give ya some cover."

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius scowled and shook her head at Velrans antics.

"Even if they are deep in Force Mediation, it's not death or even a coma. They could awaken at any time and your antics aren't helpful! What sort of song and dance do you call that anyhow 'Mad Man the Saga of an Epic Breakfast'!

"As a Sith Lord! If I had access to my powers I could have sensed their presence long before we even approached this little Enclave, but someone thought it was a good idea for me to be powerless and defenceless!"

"What exactly is your plan if an entire Sith Cult wakes up to find just the two of us here in their sacred temple? Regail them with tales of waffles bacon and eggs and the proper toaster?"

Sicairus rolled her eyes.

"Fine lets grab the Star Map and get out of here before your stellar performance wakes them all up."

Making her way through the enclave Sicarius reached the podium and turned off the Star Map taking the holosphere projector and as she did so caught sight of the object of their mission.

"Tell you what you can take the Star Map and see where it leads how about I take this ancient helmet that we came here to get in the first place!"

Sicarius held the helmet high in triumph at her discovery. Her grin abruptly dissapeared however as one of the cultists. The very one Velran had pointed to eyes suddenly opened. Soon after the rest of the cultists did. In the sudden silence that only happened just before violence erupted Sicarius had only one thought.

"Oh Karabas."

Velran Kilran

 

[Velran Kilran]

"Did you not listen to what I just said Suckarius?" Velran growled looking over at the mediating cult. "I just said they're having an out of body experience! Meaning that their spirits left their bodies doing who knows what! Honestly Sicky you wouldn't be able to sense them just like you didn't sense me when I-"

Velran turned his gaze seeing Sicarius about to touch what looked to be the artifact. His eyes lit up with shock as a scream escaped from his mouth. "NOOOO!" Velran shouted. "STOP!"

But like always, Sicarius refuses to listen which caused the cultists to immediately stand bolt straight with their blaster pistol at the ready. The presumed leader was already on his feet, a shotgun aimed at Sicarius. "Drop the holy artifact!" He shouted in a thick ancient basic accent. "Now!"

Velran attempted to sneak away but the hooded leader's whirled around now aiming his weapon at his face. "Woo there cowboy!" Velran chuckled. "Let's not blow this out of proportion!"

"Quiet!" The man shouted. "Why are you here?! Are you thieves after the artifacts"

"Well my good friend," Velran said moving beside Sicarius. "Actually we're the Pizza delivery guys! My scantily cladded partner and I just landed on Onderon for an order of 5 deep dish Pepperoni Pizzas!"

Velran stared at Sicarius, "Speaking of which, where are those Pizzas?" Velran said forcing a smile. "Our friends look very hungry!"

Sicarius Hekate

 

[Sicarius Hekate]

Sicarius was so focused on the artifact she had tuned out Velrans rambling. It was really the only response that she could do, any time she responded he just went even further rant, usually with some unusual twist. Although Breakfast and food in general seemed to be a theme. If anything it was the only constant thing about Velran.

Unfortunately through the constant rambling it was hard to know when to pay attention to something of importance. As such Sicarius was still tuning him out when he shouted his warning not to touch the artifact.

For a moment Sicarius thought her last words would be 'oh karabas'. The moment fortunately passed when the leader was distracted by Velran. For a baffled moment Sicarius had to admit that Velrans eccentricities did provide the perfect distraction. As he talked Sicarius edged closer to the artifact. She was counting on the cultists not willing to risk the artifact itself, but that would only work as an impromptu human shield for so long. Once Velrans ranting stopped baffling them they would either shoot or rush them.

Sicarius plan was forestalled when Velrans randomness turned attention back to her.

Pizza's? Seriously. Surrounded by murderous Cultists caught stealing their sacred artifact and his mind turns to pizza's?

Having no other plan Sicarius decided to go with it.

"Uh? I was waiting on peoples orders I didn't get every bodies. Does anyone want Pineapple on theirs?"

Velran Kilran