Approved Planet Sori

[SonoftheStars]

[member="Taeli Raaf"]
As has been mentioned before, the Jedi are allowed access to the world. It is a great honor. I also made a note that the exports were only available during they were known to the wider galaxy, and their location was wiped from navicomputers when the transport ships left. They had to request special permission to return. I will make the other required edits.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="SonoftheStars"]

I'm still having trouble believing they would be able to keep themselves a secret. The Jedi used mainly ships loaned or given to them by the Republic, which would have access to navigation data from them, the data would be stored in the Jedi Archives. As being part of the Clone Wars, there would be no way to hide it from Palpatine and he would have seen to it they would have been enslaved or slaughtered as a threat to his power. Plus, you have it part of the Republic during the Great Galactic War (you mention Ruusan there but that was the end of the New Sith Wars with Darth Bane) as a refugee world. At that point in time, you would lose any chance of isolation from the galactic community as there would be no way to keep enforcing wipes and such from so many ships entering and exiting the system.

I understand you want this world to be a secret, but as soon as it joins a government or economy in some way in its history, there is hardly any way for it to remain hidden, especially if politicians and such are asking for technology from the world. If politicians know about the world, it would appear on record in most star charts and it would be utterly impossible to wipe them all. Dooku was able to wipe Kamino and other worlds from the Jedi archives because they were little traveled or known worlds, but he still was unable to wipe them from official charts.

 

[SonoftheStars]

[member="Taeli Raaf"]
Do you have a solution?

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="SonoftheStars"]

So after a few days of discussion and thinking, the prevailing idea is you can't have both isolation and dealings with all the major governments within the canon. That said, you can either isolate your planet completely from the galaxy and it is only now starting to reach out, with no prior dealings with the galactic community or any of the wars and such, or you have the option of being known to the whole galaxy and isolation is off the table.

Both would require edits to the submission that will be outlined once you choose which course you want.

 

[SonoftheStars]

[member="Taeli Raaf"]
I will go with full revelation following the Clone Wars, except they were able to defend themselves from the Empire to the degree that they were considered not worth messing with. The Sorian military is very powerful. If there is an issue with that please bring it up.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="SonoftheStars"]

Apologies for the delay, in my midterms week and preparing for a vacation next week.

That said, and with your decision the following will need to be done:

• Explain how they were able to resist the Empire specifically as I need to see justification for they could defeat the Imperial navy during the height of the Empire's power
• Show what effect the Gulag Virus had on the population when the virus hit the planet
• The rebuilding after the Gulag Virus subsided and whether they still retained their advanced technology and such

Also, if possible, break the history section into separate paragraphs as it is getting rather hard to read the section

 

[SonoftheStars]

[member="Taeli Raaf"]
made some changes

 

[Reverance]

[member="SonoftheStars"]

Greetings. I will be taking over for reviewing your submission. Please allow me time to review your submission, in conjunction with the requested edits, and we'll try and get this through.

 

[Reverance]

When the Empire arrived to crush the Sorians, they were faced with the full might of the Sorian fleet, supported by numerous defensive satellites. The initial Imperial forces were slaughtered, and several subsequent attacks were also devastated. Attempts at infiltration and sabotage were stopped in their tracks.

So I see that you were asked to provide a bit more narrative on how the Sorians defeated the Empire at effectively their height. I don't think this qualifies. I'd like to see a bit more fleshing out of strategy and how the Imperial fleets could be slaughtered by the forces of a single planet.

When the Gulag Virus struck, it hit Sori hard. Nearly a quarter of the population was killed, and the rest forced into special containment units that were sealed from the world outside to protect the survivors. Some time later, the Sorians were affected, as all others, by the Netherworld event, which stole many Sorians, a quarter of the surviving population.

So I want to provide you some links:

Galaxy at War

Netherworld Event

Take the time to look at the dates on that. Gulag plague began 425 and the netherworld didn't occur until 837. Now that's over 400 years of history that you spanned in, more or less, a sentence. As we approach present time, the information available to us in reference to historical accounts becomes and more abundant. So I would like this expanded a good deal beyond the 1/4 being killed. Containment is a tricky thing and I see no mention of time line, so the wording gives the impression that they stayed there for the duration of the plague. Which, as you will know, isn't feasible, particularly if you intend to maintain that their technology is above galactic standard.

Which moves to the next phase of the question: why? Why is their technology above standard if they were simply reverse engineering items for the purpose of overthrowing the rakatan (who's technology is banned on the site). If from that point, to the clone wars, was simply lived in near isolation, then how did they remain ahead of the galactic curve? There are answers to this questions, which all of them are really tied together for a solution, but I want you to take the time out to really think about these paradoxes. And with that, discuss what was done to rebuild after the gulag plague (not just following the netherworld event).

 

[SonoftheStars]

[member="Reverance"]
If you really must know why I have all these things, its that I really know nothing about these events because they are a part of this site only. I have added to and shaped this species and its history for several years, so I am doing my best to make you as judges happy while remaining true to what has been one of my most prized creations for several years. I while do my best to adjust the submission to your specifications and answer these questions, but please note that if I have to remove this submission and drop the whole thing because I cannot get it to both fit my views and values and yours, I will. This is not an attack nor a stab at you or the site, just know that I will not completely change my most prized creation just to get it to fit on this site.

With that said, here are my answers to your questions:

1. In reference to the defeat of the Empire, I would like to point out the fact that the Sorians were a single planet in a galaxy of millions that the Empire had to patrol and get under its control. The Sorians were at their height at this time as well, so their fleet would have constituted thousands of vessels, including many large ships capable of taking on Star Destroyers one-on-one. With the assistance of planetary defenses, the Empire's losses would have been tremendous. I will add this to the history.

2. As far as technology goes, the Sorians have a greatly advanced intellect, so it stands to reason that they would have been able to develop their own technology to be equal to if not superior to the galactic standard.

I will adjust the history to try and match what you ask.

 

[SonoftheStars]

[member="Reverance"]
I've made all the adjustments I can for now.

 

[Reverance]

[member="SonoftheStars"]

I appreciate that this is your work and you want it altered as little as possible. I'm sensitive to that. I don't feel these questions change the scope enough to be concerning, in that regard.

So I've reread through and I like the explanations you gave in response to the gulag plague. While you don't need a stronger immune system, compared to humans, as much as just a different sort of immunity (mincing words at this point), you'll got more questions in that respect if you intend to submit the species. The changes in military tactics, both in response to gulag plague and netherworld, seemed fitting. And I buy the reasoning for how they bested the Empire. Being spread thin, fighting a war on multiple fronts, that makes sense.

So now just nit picky stuff now:

-Your major locations, Alpha Base and the Governmental Complex. Please describe these with a bit more detail (1 paragraph minimum). As it stands right now, I have no imagery or visual diction to discern what these places look like or how one might interact with them.

Once that's done, it should be good to go. Thanks.

 

[SonoftheStars]

[member="Reverance"]
Done

 

[Reverance]

[member="SonoftheStars"]

Thanks for your cooperation.

Approved pending secondary.

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Approved.