Black Prince of Kardir
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Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos
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Codex Denied Shadow Soulspawns
- Thread starter Irratar Hemstagon
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Afternoon,
Irratar Hemstagon
! Apologies for the long wait, but thank you for your patience with me. Overall a good submission, but I do have some things I'd like to address here:
As always, feel free to tag me with any questions/clarifications or once you've completed the above edits.
Irratar Hemstagon
! Apologies for the long wait, but thank you for your patience with me. Overall a good submission, but I do have some things I'd like to address here:Image Credit | I've found a link to an Artstation piece by Matheus Graef for your main image. Please substitute for the provided link.
Origins | Please link the Netherworld.
Average Lifespan | The species cannot be immortal per Codex and Chaos Rules. They can be "ageless" and have an estimated lifespan or possibly ageless but have a method of being destroyed (even if they go back to the Nether) for balance purposes in RP and PvE situations.
Distinctions & Races | Please fill out these fields respectively. If there are no races, please mark it as N/A.
Strengths | You've listed that they can drain life energy, please add this link to the Force Drain wiki page. In addition to this, please specify what distance qualifies as "close proximity".
Another issue I ran into was the use of Force powers. Per the Species Creation Rules, "All Force-sensitive species may have passive abilities that do not require training (improved reflexes, low grade pre-cog, etc), but are prohibited from having active abilities (force lightning, telekinesis, etc)". Force Fear is classified under active abilities and it requires training to be able to properly execute and sustain. That can't happen in a species with zero sentience and no capacity for learning. Please remove the aura of force fear under Ethereal Unlife as well as the mention of it under General Behavior.
Weaknesses | Balance is needed here. Would you mind expanding on what can kill the creature itself other than its summoner's death? In addition to this, please add weaknesses that address Light Side abilities and Force Null fields.
As always, feel free to tag me with any questions/clarifications or once you've completed the above edits.
Irratar Hemstagon
Could I get an update on this? If I don't hear anything in a few days, this submission will be archived for inactivity.
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