Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Secrets of the light

"A Dramatic Force-Blessed Myth"
The galaxy was a dangerous and treacherous place. There was no other way to put it. Secrets abounded and were often the weights that tilted the scales of mortality. Too often, Vulpesen had seen entire governments, paladinic beacons of light, smothered by a sith in a mask. The darkness had long since learned to hide its face from those who followed the way of light, a necessity from the days of Bane's Rule of Two. It was Vulpesen who had studied the force and found the converse technique. A way to place a hood on the metaphysical lantern that was a light sider in the force. But such studies, as all studies in darkness, came with dangers. It was those very dangers that had kept Vulpesen from teaching anyone what he had learned. Afterall, there were times that he had almost lost himself as he hid among the sith.

There were some, however, who had proven capable of resisting the corruption. That the one at his door shared his blood, was an additional boon. Jairdain Ismet-Thio Jairdain Ismet-Thio might not have shared the name of Torrevaso, but for all intents and purposes, she was as heir to its birthright as he was. And like him, she had known pain and suffering. She had stared into the void, and while she might have blinked, she had not broken. At least, not irreparably. That was the fortitude he required.

Vulpesen opened the door to his home with a broad smile, his tail waving happily behind him as he greeted his sister. "Good to see you again. Heard there was a trick you were wanting to learn." He had refused to teach the dark cloak to anyone, but that didn't mean that he had hidden its use. It was an essential part of him, an indelible mark on his history that showed what he had been through. He did not hide its existence, so he wasn't surprised when his sister had inquired about tis usefulness.
 
Jairdain's expression softened at the sound of his voice, the familiar cadence settling something in her chest. She stepped just a little closer, close enough to feel the warmth of the space he kept, close enough that the moment felt personal rather than formal.

"It is good to see you," she said, and this time there was no distance in it. "It has been too long."

She did not dress the reason for her visit in grand purpose or philosophy. With him, she did not need to.

"I am not here because I think I am owed anything," Jairdain continued gently. "Only because you are family, and because there are things you have lived that I have brushed against from the outside."

A small pause, then a quiet honesty.

"I wanted to understand what it cost you. And whether carrying it alone was the only way."
Vulpesen Vulpesen
 
"A Dramatic Force-Blessed Myth"
"In matters of family," he said, stepping back and waving her into his home, "there are no debts. House Torrevaso is your home as much as it is mine. Always." As he ushered her into the foyer, he spoke carefully as he addressed her request. "You've been through a lot. Much of it, I should have been there for, and I apologize for that. But you've come out of it standing strong." He made his way into a small side room where a coffee table" sat, surrounded by a couple couches and chairs. He seated himself in one of those chairs before continuing. "Knowledge has a price, and its one I think you can afford. What it cost mew as a part of my soul, but I was isolated and alone with few who could be allowed to see past the mask. To carry this alone, is not only fails to be the only way, it is an impossible way."

Jairdain Ismet-Thio Jairdain Ismet-Thio
 
Jairdain followed him inside without hesitation, the tension she carried easing as the door closed behind them. The words home and always settled deeper than she let show, but her shoulders lowered all the same.

She listened without interrupting, allowing him the space to say what clearly needed to be said. When he finished, she did not rush to fill the silence.

"You were not wrong to survive the way you did," she said quietly at last. "And I do not fault you for the cost, even knowing how heavy it was."

Her gaze held his, steady and unflinching, but warm.

"I did not come because I am unbroken," Jairdain continued. "I came because I am not alone anymore, and because I refuse to pretend that strength means isolation."

A small pause, then something unmistakably familial in her tone.

"If knowledge has a price, then let it be one we acknowledge together. I am not asking you to carry it for me. Only to let me stand where you once had to stand alone."

Vulpesen Vulpesen
 
"A Dramatic Force-Blessed Myth"
Understanding, at least in the price of what she was asking for. That left the method... and a consent to employ it. "Very well. I'll teach you. The technique is as simple as it is harrowing. It is deception through honesty. Balance as you walk the line across the the abyss." Vulpesen closed his eyes as he focused inward. Slower than usual, his presence in the force began to change, going from one of light with murky haze to one of pure black, a void of corruption and predation that stood as an epitome of the dark side. "The trick isn't in summoning the dark cloak. Its in removing it. In remembering that it is an illusion."

He had walked that line himself. He had done it while surrounded by that inky blackness, a masterwork of forgery amidst a gallery of corruption. Assuming the darkness had been as easy as falling to it. His struggle had been reminding himself that he was not the monster he pretended to be. His daily trial was skirting the line between convincing lies to his enemy, and not falling for his own falsehoods.

Jairdain Ismet-Thio Jairdain Ismet-Thio
 
Jairdain did not recoil from the shift in him. She did not brace, or shield, or reach to counter what he revealed. She simply watched, felt, and let it be what it was.

When she spoke, her voice was low and steady, threaded with something older than doctrine.

"Then that is the part I needed to hear," she said quietly. "Not how to become the lie, but how to remember myself while wearing it."

Her gaze stayed on him, unwavering, but not challenging.

"I have worn masks before," Jairdain continued, more personal now. "Some were forged for survival. Some for duty. The danger was never in convincing others. It was in forgetting who I was when the mask came off."

A faint breath left her, not fear, not awe. Resolve.

"If the cloak is an illusion," she said, "then I will treat it as one. I will walk the line with my eyes open, not pretending the abyss is harmless, but refusing to believe it defines me."

There was family in the way she looked at him then. Trust, shared weight, and an unspoken promise.

"And if I falter," she added softly, "I will not pretend I am alone."

Vulpesen Vulpesen
 
"A Dramatic Force-Blessed Myth"
"All of these things are essential," he began, letting his cloak slip away as he spoke. For that brief moment, his very voice was darker, more dejected and filled with pain. Not all effects of the cloak were seen through the eyes of the force. "The cloak comes with accepting that which we push away. Take your worst memories, your darkest moments, your harshest thoughts. Hold them, and more than that, present them. I felt betrayed by the Republic. I was angry at the injustice and lack of action from the order. I took those emotions and I brought them to the front, showed them to the sith and the entire galaxy. That his how the dark cloak works... but it has a cost. As I'm sure you've noticed, I have never returned to the order. The simple truth is, I can't. After so long of convincing the sith of the lie that I had completely turned against them... somewhere along the way, it became true. At least, in part."

He took a deep breath and once again reached down into himself. The worry for his people, the anger he felt at the wheel of time and how it kept rolling and crushing innocents, the parts of him that craved battle and hated how he had become a soldier addicted to war. He used it to craft another cloak, each bit of darkness falling into place like armor. "It is deception through honesty. The emotions are real. They have to be. The dangerous part is learning to let go."

Jairdain Ismet-Thio Jairdain Ismet-Thio
 
Jairdain did not interrupt him. She never did, not when the truth was being spoken aloud and paid for word by word.

When he finished, she was quiet for a long moment, not withdrawing from his presence in the Force, not shielding herself from the weight of what he had shown. The family did not look away from the wounds simply because they were old.

"I understand that cost," she said finally, her voice calm but carrying the depth of lived experience rather than theory. "Not this technique, not this path exactly, but the truth beneath it. The part where you tell a lie long enough that it takes root, not because you wanted it to, but because survival demanded it."

She took a slow breath, grounding herself before continuing.

"I have worn masks that did not come off cleanly. I have made choices that protected others and scarred me in the process. And I learned, too late in some cases, that even honest deception reshapes the one who carries it."

Her head tilted slightly, not in judgment, but in quiet recognition.

"You are not wrong about the danger," Jairdain said. "Letting go is harder than assuming the darkness. Holding it is easier. It feels purposeful. Necessary. But carrying it forever does not make you strong. It only makes you tired."

There was warmth in her next words, unmistakably familial.

"You are still you," she said gently. "Not because the darkness failed to touch you, but because you are still capable of naming it for what it is. That matters more than you think."

She did not reach for him physically, but her presence remained close, steady.

"You do not owe the Order your return," Jairdain added. "And you do not owe the past your loyalty. What you owe yourself is the chance to set the armor down when the battle is over, even if only for a while."

A pause.

"And you are not alone in learning how to do that."

Vulpesen Vulpesen
 
"A Dramatic Force-Blessed Myth"
Once more, he released the cloak, offering a nod to his sister's words. "I owe the jedi nothing, you're right about that much. But the battle never ends. I'm just finding new ways to fight it." He reached to the table in front of him where a glass and a decanter sat. Pouring himself a measure of the amber liquid, he motioned towards Jairdain. "Time for you to try. I'll be here to pull you back if you start having trouble. Remember, accept the darkness and present it. The cloak, especially on its first use, will be unpleasant to use. But the worse it feels, the more likely it is to work."

Taking a sip of his drink, Vulpesen extended himself in the force, letting his power fill the room with a gentle presence. It was a safety net, and while he didn't expect it to be needed, he wasn't about to let Jairdain take the risk without a failsafe. As he said, he would be there top pull her out the moment things turned south. He had seen jedi turn at a moment's notice the second that they let that darkness touch his soul. It was perhaps the greatest flaw with those who held themselves as paladins of the light... if they could not be absolutely pure, they often chose absolute corruption.

Jairdain Ismet-Thio Jairdain Ismet-Thio
 
Jairdain did not reach for the glass, nor did she answer him immediately. Instead, she inclined her head once, a gesture that carried trust rather than certainty, and let the room settle around her as she drew a slow, deliberate breath that anchored her in the present before she allowed herself to step backward into everything she had survived.

"Stay," she said quietly at last, her voice steady but unguarded. "Not as a failsafe. As my brother."

Then she closed her eyes.

She did not need to summon the darkness, nor coax it forward with intent or ritual. It answered her the way memory always did, arriving whole and uninvited, carrying with it the unmistakable gravity of truths that had never fully loosened their hold on her.

Krest came first, as he always did, not as a monster but as a certainty. His voice had once been structure, direction, the promise that obedience would become purpose if she surrendered enough of herself to it. She remembered how safety had masqueraded as righteousness, how approval had felt like love, and how easily she had learned to mistake control for care. The shaping had been so thorough that it still lived in her bones, a foundation laid early enough to be mistaken for nature rather than design, and it had taken years to understand that what she had called discipline had been a cage.

Then Lykos followed, closer, colder, more intimate in his cruelty. Where Krest had demanded discipline, Lykos had offered necessity. He had taught her how to justify the unbearable, how to survive by narrowing her world until only the next decision mattered, until the erosion of self felt less like loss and more like efficiency. She remembered the precise moment she realized she was no longer merely enduring corruption as a means to an end, but functioning because of it, because the darkness had made room for her where the light no longer could.

She did not turn away from that realization.

She let it stand.

The losses came next, not as a flood but as a procession she knew too well to rush. The people who had raised her. The hands that had steadied her before the galaxy tore them away one by one. The empty places they left behind. The names she still carried. The guilt that had never fully faded, no matter how much she had grown, no matter how many lives she had saved afterward. The quiet, persistent question that followed her through every war and every victory, whispering late at night when the Force lay still.

If you had been stronger, would they still be alive?

The cloak answered that question eagerly.

The Force around her folded inward, not violently, but with suffocating intimacy, as though something vast and predatory had leaned close enough to breathe alongside her. The pull was achingly familiar, heavy with promise and relief, offering certainty where grief had lived too long. It did not demand rage or hatred. It offered clarity. It offered finality. It offered an end to doubt.

It urged her to stop choosing.

For a long moment, she let herself feel how natural it would be to finish falling, how effortless it would be to let the darkness close around her and claim what it had already touched once before. It remembered her. It wanted her. It knew exactly where to press.

And then she built the barrier.

Not from denial. Not from fear.

She anchored herself instead in what had come after the darkness, in what had grown despite it. In the weight of her family, not as a distant memory but as a living presence. Jax's steadiness, imperfect and hard-won, yet unwavering. The fierce, complicated love she carried for her children, each of them stubbornly themselves. And beneath it all, the quiet, fragile gravity of the life she carried now, a future that had not yet learned the language of war or cloaks or compromises.

I choose staying, she told that unseen heartbeat, the thought firm and unyielding. I choose you.

The darkness recoiled, not banished, not destroyed, but contained, pressed into a shape that no longer defined her. It remained present, acknowledged, honest in its existence, but no longer sovereign.

When Jairdain opened her eyes again, her presence had changed.

The cloak lay over her like a shadow worn openly rather than hidden, darkness acknowledged without surrender, restrained not by denial or force, but by deliberate, exhausting will. It was not elegant. It was not comfortable. The effort showed in the tight line of her jaw and the careful way she controlled her breathing, as though any excess might tip her balance. She stood, but only just, grounded by intention rather than ease.

"That," she said softly, her voice low and resolute despite the strain beneath it, "is the lie I will not believe again."

She exhaled slowly, deliberately thinning the cloak without tearing it away, knowing better than to rip something loose that had been allowed to settle. The darkness receded, not banished, not destroyed, but pressed back into containment, leaving behind the hollow ache of something narrowly escaped.

Then her knees buckled.

Jairdain caught herself on the edge of the table with one hand, the other pressing instinctively to her abdomen as the aftermath surged up through her in a violent, uncontrollable wave. Her body rejected what her will had endured, the cost finally asserting itself where discipline could no longer hold it at bay.

She turned sharply and retched, the sound harsh and unrestrained, bile burning her throat as she vomited onto the floor, her shoulders shaking as the last of it was forced out of her. There was no dignity in it, no attempt to mask the reaction, only the raw physical consequence of standing that close to the abyss and refusing to fall.

When it was over, she remained bent forward, breathing hard, one hand braced against the table, the other still protectively at her middle, anchoring herself with the quiet certainty that she was still here. Still herself.

After a long moment, she straightened just enough to look toward her brother, her expression pale but steady, eyes clear despite the lingering tremor in her frame.

"You were right," Jairdain said quietly, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, the admission carrying neither regret nor pride. "The worse it feels, the more honest it is."

She drew in another careful breath, grounding herself once more.

"And I will not do that again lightly."

Vulpesen Vulpesen
 

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