Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Codex Denied Rodosians

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OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
  • Intent: It was in a SW game me and my friends ran once, this is my first species I have made on this site.
  • Canon: N/A
  • Images: N/A
  • Perms: N/A
  • Links: N/A
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Name: Rodosian
  • Designation: Sentient
  • Origins: Evolved on the planet Rodos (now destroyed)
  • Average Lifespan: 200-300
  • Estimated Population: After the destruction of Rodos, the Rodosian people are Scattered
  • Description: Small and crafty beings, with grey skin and tusks, and intimidating reputation.
PHYSICAL INFORMATION
  • Breathes: Type 4 (little to no breathable air)
  • Average Height of Adults: 0.75-1.00 meters (2-4 meters with cybernetic enhancements, such as robotic biosuits)
  • Average Length of Adults: N/A
  • Skin color: Grey
  • Hair color: N/A
  • Distinctions: Physically diminutive, they have large heads, with flat, disc-shaped faces. They have grey and leathery skin. Their eyes are yellow or red, they have no external ears, short noses, and protruding tusks. These tusks are displayed by members of any gender and grow with age. They are known for having cybernetic enhancements.
  • Races: Rodosians do not divide themselves by race.
  • Force Sensitivity: Rare
Strengths:
  • Naturally intelligent, can plan for nearly any situation.
  • Superior reflexes.
  • Can hold breath for vastly extended periods of time, and therefor survive with little air.
  • Natural weapons: Tusks, and Strong Jaw.
Weaknesses:
  • Physically diminutive. They are slow and weak without exosuits or weapons.
  • Incredibly vulnerable to damage to the head. Many of their important organs are located there.
  • Cannot breath too much breathable gas, because the evolved to survive with very little air, and inhaling too much is harmful to them.
  • Gas-related chemicals are especially effective against Rodosians if inhaled for the above reason, if they cannot hold their breath.
CULTURE
  • Diet: Omnivorous. Rodosians can eat meat, but they primarily consume grains and sugars for nutrients. They are poisoned by a few things, but not anything of note.
  • Communication: Rodosians communicate through spoken language, which is Rodosian.
  • Technology level: Rodosians are advanced technologically, especially in the field of weapons technology, and robotics.
  • Religion/Beliefs: Rodosians do not have a major religion.
  • General behavior: Rodosians live in communities made of a number of families, but many choose to leave their communities to travel the galaxy when they reach adulthood, though some return later in life. Even outside of these communities, Rodosians still like company, and rarely work solitarily.
    Rodosians do not see themselves as weak, and view their ingenuity as a strength, as it leads them to survive, and develop advanced technology, which they are proud of. Rodosians often enhance themselves with cybernetics, having no qualms against the idea of modifying one own body. Because of this, Rodosians are often seen with intimidating cybernetic bodies and wielding advanced weapons, giving them a fearsome appearance.
HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Rodosians evolved on the planet of Rodos in ancient times, a hazardous planet with little air to breathe and deadly predators. The evolved large brains to think complex thoughts, and devised contingencies, and designed weapons, swiftly becoming apex beings of their world. Because of their success, they formed civilization, and lived in peace for some time. During this period, they would make astonish technological investments, and created relics of great cultural significance. This peace would not last, as their civilization was struck with a civil war between those who believed that cybernetics were the next stage of their evolution and those who believed that cybernetics would ruin their species and civilization. Ultimately, those in favor of cybernetics won, but not without great cost; the planet of Rodos was destroyed. Art, science, and culture were lost. This lead them to scatter about the galaxy.
 
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:: HERO of KORRIBAN ::
Moderator
S Scimmy Bingus

Hi there! I am glad to see you jumping right into things. If no one has said hello yet, let me start with that! HELLO!

The Codex is one of the great things Chaos has to offer, and I'll be here to help you get a handle on all of it. For starters, Codex and Factory are optional. Since you seem to have jumped right in though, let me also have you take a quick look at the guidelines real quick so that you can familiarize yourself with how the system works. You can find there by clicking this link. There are also some species related guidelines here that may also help you.

One of the things I noticed right away is that there are some key fields which have been removed from the template. One of the things we do ask is that if you are going to use the codex that all fields in the submission template remain in the submission template. If they do not apply, you can simply put N/A.

We can also treat this like a work in progress and for that purpose we have the Pre-Codex forum here. If you would like to work on this in that manner I can move it. If you would like me to go ahead and start a review of this submission I can also do that as well. I am more than confident that we can work together to help you create the fun and exciting species you are looking to bring to this universe!

If you have any questions do not hesitate to ask. I am here to help!

Let me know how you would like to proceed here, and I'll get right on it! You can tag me here by using @user name and I will get a notification!

Once again WELCOME! I cannot wait to work with you!
 
:: HERO of KORRIBAN ::
Moderator
S Scimmy Bingus

Off the bat, the fields which are missing from the Out of Character Information section needs to be put back into the template. You can just put N/A under Image Claim, Permissions, and Links.

In the meantime, I'll look over this submission and get you a more formal review worked up and get you some better feedback that way.

:D
 
:: HERO of KORRIBAN ::
Moderator
S Scimmy Bingus

Alright let's take a crack on how we can work on this submission for you. I'm just going to go down the template and see how I can help!

Intent | This really just need to be something like... to create a new species to RP on Chaos. It's great that you are bringing them from elsewhere, but also let us know why you are making them here.

Origins | I am going to guess that with Rodos, since it was destroyed in your mind, that you will not be creating a planet submission. You do mention this in Historical Information, but maybe here you could just place a note in parenthesis.

Estimated Population | Two things here. First is a simple fix, your code is broken for the color. it needs a bracket in front of the word color. Thought you might like to know. The other item. Why are they scattered? Maybe a sentence or two as to why you chose this.

Description | This is a good place to mention what they look like as well. I know you give a brief description later, but a little more detail here would help the reader.

Average Length | Just go ahead and remove the question mark here.

Strengths | While it isn't required per se, any more detail you give here will help people who may want to write this species. Maybe there are a couple more you could think of also?

Weaknesses | One weakness I see missing here is in regards to their breathing. Because you have it that they breath in type 4 atmospheres what happens in others where breathable gasses exist? You mention in strengths they can hold their breath for a long time... is their weakness of theirs which requires them to have to do so? They wear biosuits... what happens if they do not? As above any more detail you give will help other writers. I definitely think you could flesh this out.

Historical Information | This is such a unique species I'd love to see more here. How did they evolve on such a hostile planet? What was life like before the civil war? Were there any notable battles? How did the planet get destroyed, and how did those who survived actually survive? I think if you get into that detail that could help put this submission over the top.

This is a great start! Love where you are going with this, and cannot wait to see what you do here! Tag me when you're ready for me to take another pass through, and we will see where we end up after that!

Keep up the good work!
 
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